Asher (Station 47)

Chapter 9

9

Asher

I tried paying attention to the conversations around me, but I was only here in body, not in mind. I glanced at my watch for the umpteenth time; it was almost one thirty, and Sienna still wasn’t here.

I ran my finger over the wood grain of the picnic table and took a swig of my beer, drifting deeper into my disappointment. Day after day, my life felt more and more routine, as if waiting for the next tragedy was all I had to look forward to. The more I lingered on that, the more I wanted out of my own skin.

Hawk was over by the guys manning the grill—a beer in one hand and his woman in the other—laughing and just enjoying life. He kissed Skye right then and there for all to see, not because he was trying to show off, but because she made his world spin in a whole new direction... a better one, made richer by all the things money couldn’t buy.

Every time I pictured what that might look like for me, one girl just stood front and center. I didn’t even know her, which made this all so confusing. Things about Sienna were still a complete mystery, but just sitting here waiting for her to show up was slowly killing me.

The woman huddled in a ball of terror still replayed in my mind. She’d been surrounded by dozens of red roses, which, at first glance, closely resembled piles of blood. It had fucked with my head, seeing that.

It didn’t hit me right away—that rocking she was doing, but I’d recognized the signs. I’d seen it in a few of my brothers overseas, when the reality of carrying weapons and being fired upon crashes down on you hard and becomes all too real. I’d experienced it myself, wondering why I’d subjected myself to such a hell a few too many times. Lives were lost on both sides of anger, caused by men who didn’t even know our names.

And as we all cycled home after deployment, well, nothing would ever be the same after those experiences. I figured Sienna must be going through a bit of the same thing, going from a fun day of helping out a friend to sitting in the middle of what sounded like an active war zone. Was it something in the boom, pop, and smell of smoke that had triggered a memory, or was it just how she found herself handling a completely fucked up situation?

It was the rocking back and forth that I kept revisiting. She’d been terrified. That was understandable. I hadn’t seen any visible burns on her, but she could’ve sustained wounds elsewhere. Was that why she was blowing me off? Did I just remind her of one of the worst days of her life?

Maybe she was in self-protection mode, afraid to make herself more vulnerable than she already was. Not all burns were on the outside.

I glanced at my watch again and then scanned the parking lot, hoping to catch a glimpse of a car pulling in. Yet, as each minute ticked by, the likelihood of her showing up became less and less.

Fed tapped my arm. “Hey, Hayes, did you hear what I said?”

I glanced over at the youngest member of our team, Silas “Fed” Feddeler, seeing him staring back at me. The kid was only twenty-four and a hell of a hard worker, but by the time I’d turned his age, I’d already been deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq. I shook my head. “No. What?”

“I said, I thought you invited someone to the picnic. You get stood up?”

I drained the last of my beer. Did the guy realize I knew forty different ways to kill him without even moving from my seat? I was about to tell him to fuck off and then maybe go over to the grill and ring Hawk’s neck, because only one of these assholes knew I’d invited someone, and apparently Hawk had a big, fucking mouth, when Fed spotted something going on behind me.

“Holy shit,” he said under his breath.

“Hey, Asher.” I heard her sweet voice.

I looked over my shoulder to find Sienna and another woman standing behind me. Her inky black hair was pulled back with her sunglasses. God, she was beautiful. Her fantastic body was wrapped in a cute pink dress with flowers on it. My eyes traveled down her long legs to her matching pair of low-top, pink Chucks, and then back to the container she was holding.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned Fed low as I stood up from the picnic table. “Hey, you made it.” I gave her an awkward hug, avoiding the plastic container in her hands.

Sienna smiled, rocking my world all over again. “I’m sorry we’re late. We brought Candace’s awesome potato salad.”

I’d met some amazing women over the years. Bedded enough of them too, but this woman… just seeing her here made me feel like I’d won the lottery. “I was starting to worry that you’d changed your mind.”

She held the container of food up to me. “I did,” she admitted.

I took it from her hands while she adjusted the black camera bag hanging off her shoulder. Another piece slid into place.

“You must be Asher. Hi, I’m Candace.” The older, taller, blonde version of Sienna offered her hand.

I shook it. “Nice to meet you. Sienna said she was bringing a friend. So, you own the flower shop over on Third Avenue?”

Her eyes crinkled up at me. “Yes. How did you know that?”

Fuck. Because I’ve been stalking Sienna? I needed to fix this slip up. “A friend of mine lives by your shop,” I lied. I didn’t know anyone near there, but Sienna was already looking uncomfortable. The truth might send her running.

“I’m so glad to meet you,” Candace gushed. Oh, hell. She looked like she was going to cry. “I just wanted to thank you for taking care of her like you did.” She gazed fondly over at Sienna, as if she brightened the lady’s entire world. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Sure. Absolutely.” I shifted the bowl of food in my hand as she wrapped her arms up around my neck.

“Thank you,” she whispered in my ear.

“You’re welcome.” It felt good to see the impact to the lives we kept whole. Not all calls had good outcomes. She stepped out of my arm. “Let me set this down with the rest of the food.” I lifted the container in my hand. “You ladies hungry?”

They followed me to the long tables mounded with over two dozen trays and crockpots. Cap stepped from the grill, setting down another platter of hot dogs. “Hey ladies!” he said. “Brisket is in that pan down there and the other one is pulled pork.” He pointed his spatula.

Candace’s smile faltered slightly while she lasered her focus on Sienna. My girl just shook her unspoken concern off, but whatever that was that just happened between them meant something.

“Shit, sorry.” I nodded at the second table which was covered in desserts. “There’s a lot of other food here if you don’t eat meat.”

Sienna looked up at me all puzzled until she gave me a small grin. “It’s okay. I eat meat.”

My mind instantly went to my dick, which was already in on this conversation way before she’d even uttered a single word. Thank fuck, though. I didn’t know what I’d do with a woman who might disapprove of me eating piles of protein every day.

Candace giggled. “I love your apron,” she said to Cap. He smiled wide, stretching back to give her a better look at his “Real men play with fire” get-up.

Sienna had said they were friends, but they looked like they could be related. But where Sienna was a bit shy and reserved, Candace was the exact opposite.

While the women filled their plates, I took the liberty to get closer to her, learning her likes and dislikes. She selected a pinker piece of brisket and skipped the hot dogs. I smiled when she passed up on the chili. “Wise move. Atta made that.” Sienna looked up, questioned me. I pointed at the big bastard shoving an entire burger in his mouth. “He’s one of the guys on my crew. Great guy, but the last batch he made might have put holes in the pot.”

“You’re telling me the chili he made ate through metal?”

That was still up for debate. I shrugged, but we all knew his cooking was dangerous.

“Thanks for the warning,” she laughed.

I gave her a wink which made her smile grow a bit more. She had a fantastic smile.

When she and her friend looked for a place to sit, Sienna kept walking until they reached the last empty table. She sat at the very edge of the bench with her plate of food. But instead of digging in, her food just sat there untouched.

I followed her gaze as she quickly scanned over the random faces as if she was looking for someone. She lingered on a few, but then moved on. Candace was eating, oblivious to her surroundings. Sienna though… she was on high alert.

Was her trauma from the explosion rearing its head? Accidents often made people more vigilant.

She was searching, though. I knew she wasn’t looking for me. She’d already clocked me over here in plain sight, waiting for my cheeseburger.

I glanced around at everything she was scanning, noting she’d strategically placed herself where she would have a clear view of the entire party. No one behind her. Smart move. She’d managed to sneak up behind me earlier—something I never let happen.

Her head moved to the right; eyes narrowing on the parking lot. Exit point. Entry point? After a few moments, she focused on the streets—one in front and one to the left. Another entry and exit point? Behind her, she landed on the public park restrooms. They were small but substantial. Stone. Metal bike rack. Dark corners. Possible danger? She’d lingered on that thought; her face analyzing it all. She then looked past me, beyond the guys and gas grills, to the open area behind the fire house. Danger? Not really. It was inconsequential. Very open. Plenty of distance between her and the forty-gallon propane tank. But the tree line beyond… yeah, she spotted that. Vegetation was problematic. Great place for enemy combatants and snipers to blend into the landscape.

We made the same tactical positioning in the military. Most people were clueless to their surroundings. Sienna though… She was tracking. Very interesting.

I slapped some ketchup on my burger and put my target in my sites. I set my food down next to her, needing to get to the bottom of this. I was about to make sure they got drinks first when Hawk walked up to them holding two beers.

“Because this guy”—he pointed at me—“has no manners. Here you go,” Hawk set a beer in front of Sienna and the other he handed to Candace. “It’s nice to see you again,” he said to Sienna. “Glad you’re doing well.”

Sienna sort of looked ashamed, as if the memories of us in full gear, tossing boxes of shit off of her, was a place she didn’t want to revisit. “Thanks. I’m okay.”

Candace, however, turned sharply. “Are you the other fireman who saved her?” She dropped her napkin as soon as Hawk confirmed and sprang up from her seat. “Oh my God, can I hug you?” She had Hawk in a bear hug before he could do anything about it.

“I didn’t forget you, Asshat,” Hawk said over her shoulder while getting mugged. He pulled a bottle of chocolate milk out of his back pocket and tossed it at me. “I thought of you too.”

I straddled the bench next to Sienna. If Hawk made any more moves, I’d punch him.

Sienna was trying to hide her embarrassment while eating her food. She raised her brow at me. “Chocolate milk?”

“Coffee and chocolate milk are what I survive on, although the hoodlums around here often drain my stash. You want it?” I offered the plastic bottle to her. I didn’t know if she even drank beer. I gave Hawk a quick nod to fuck off.

“No. I’m fine. Are you on duty?” she asked, nudging the bottle of beer away— out of my reach .

She was staring at the bottle like it bothered her. “No, I’m off today but I start at seven in the morning. We have lots of other things to drink if you’re not into that.”

She shook her head and picked at her potato salad. “Sorry. I’m not much of a drinker.”

Good. That meant she wouldn’t be spending her free time trolling bars, getting all drunk while hanging on any man giving her attention.

Candace sat down after she finally let go of Hawk, who, like a smart bastard, didn’t linger long. She took a sip of her beer, smiling at us before she started playing twenty questions. “So, are you originally from Nashville, Asher?”

“No, ma’am, I’m not.” My fingers brushed Sienna’s as I handed her my chocolate milk, sliding that touch right through my gut. I peeled the lid off for her. I needed to be better at this. I felt completely off my game, as if the world was tilting. The urge to feed her and then fuck her was overwhelming me.

“Oh, so how long have you been here?”

I was busy watching Sienna’s lips wrap the top of the bottle. My woman loved chocolate milk too. That thought made me sigh. She wasn’t my woman. Candace was waiting for me to answer. I had to think. I swallowed down more of my cheeseburger. “A little over six years. I’m originally from Arizona.”

Sienna shared some unspoken thoughts with Candace. Odd . “I enlisted in the Army when I was eighteen. After my last tour, I picked up a contract job for private security, so I did that for a while. And then an opportunity here in Nashville came up which I couldn’t refuse, so I’ve been here ever since.”

Candace narrowed her eyes on me and then leveled that gaze on Sienna. Was she the reason why fate dropped me in Nashville?

“Army,” Candace repeated. It was obvious she was sizing me up, seeing if I’d be a good choice for her girl. It was admirable.

“So, you were deployed then?” Candace took another swig off her beer, trying to hide her agenda. Trying but failing. I knew exactly where she was going with her questions. Some women just liked the idea of a soldier, not thinking beyond the title. And then there were seasoned women like Candace—wiser to the world—clued in that the uniform often came with unresolved bullshit.

I closed my eyes, remembering the day a sniper’s bullet brushed past me and pierced through Todd’s helmet. If he hadn’t been joking around with me, nudging me as we walked, I’d have taken that bullet. “I did four tours before I got out.” I nodded at the direction of the fire house. “Now I redirect my energy to better things. Surrounded by good people.” I slipped the bottle of chocolate milk from Sienna’s hand and took a swig. I didn’t care about germs. I was about to find out if she intended to stay or run.

“My buddy Todd didn’t make it home. His last request was that he didn’t want two uniforms at his wife’s door being the only words she heard. She and his two kids live over in Forrest Hills with her parents.”

Candace placed her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry.”

“We all have stories,” I said, scanning Sienna to see her reactions to mine. But instead of moving away, her body leaned closer to me. And then she took the bottle back, taking a sip of her own. I gave Candace a reassuring smile so she wouldn’t let her mind run wild with my trauma. “It’s okay. It comes with the job. I’ve dealt with it. Loss is a part of life. It’s how you choose to live that defines you.”

Sienna turned to look at me, locking those amazing eyes directly on mine, conveying a million questions and answers and every thought in between, but mostly seeing me down to the core of who I am. She would be the woman to tangle me up, straighten me out, and make me understand what good could be had in this life. Like touching a live wire and soaking in the thrill of it all.

“You have amazing eyes,” whispered out of me.

“Thanks,” she whispered back.

Candace cleared her throat, and then she got up from the picnic table with her empty plate. “I think I’m going to see what’s on that dessert table. Excuse me.”

I was still caught in Sienna’s eyes. “You still hungry?”

Her breathy “yes” slid right through me.

“Did I answer all your questions?”

She smiled, and man if that didn’t twist me in further. She pushed her empty plate away. “Sorry about that. She’s always looking out for me.”

“Nothing wrong with that. She cares about you. We all need good people in our lives.”

“I need more of that, actually. I…” I lost her eyes to the table as she took a steadying breath. “I find it hard to trust people sometimes.”

Whoever made this woman feel that way needed to burn. “Me too. But sometimes you have to give people a chance. Everyone here”—I scanned the crowd—“these are the kind of people who would lay their own lives down for you, and that’s something few are willing to offer.”

“You did that for me,” she whispered.

I felt her words slip their fingers around my heart. Visions of me carrying her in my arms again—this time to my bed—coated the memories. Too bad Hawk and the faces he was making at me was ruining it. Sienna noticed him too, chuckling softly at his antics. I pointed at the fool. “That’s why I didn’t let that one touch you.”

She laughed when Hawk chased after the kids, pretending to be a monster. “He’s got issues, doesn’t he?”

“Many. You could write a book on it.”

Candace had relocated to another table nearby, slipping easily into my world. Would Sienna do the same? I stood and offered Sienna my hand. “Come on. Let’s go get some dessert.”

Her gaze locked on my hand for a few beats before scanning my face, as if she wasn’t sure how to react. Geez. How badly did the last man who got close to this woman fuck up her world?

And then her hand slid into mine, hesitant but willing, like she just took a huge step. I could relate. When I first got back to the states, I didn’t want anyone to touch me. I didn’t want to think or feel or deal with any of it. I just wanted to be left alone.

Settling down with one woman—it didn’t appeal. The look of absolute devastation on Todd’s wife’s face when I handed her the angel charm she’d given him before he’d deployed was something I never wanted to see again.

Sienna had walls of her own. That was easy to read with how lightly her hand touched mine. She’d need time. Patience. She’d be an investment.

Fuck it. I tossed all caution to the wind and held her hand tighter. It was time to break down all the walls.

The little moans Sienna was making every time she took a bite of pie was killing me. I could only imagine what sounds she might make when I’m inside her. When she’s straddled over my lap, that perfect body—naked and willing, riding me slowly. Leaving handprints on my wall while I teased one of those amazing breasts in my mouth. My hands cinched into her hips, into her perfectly round ass, pulling her open and down on me.

“This might be the best pie I’ve ever eaten,” she said with another sexy whimper. I wanted to take the last of her cherry pie and smear it on her tits; spend the rest of the afternoon licking it off.

I caught a glimpse of yellow and orange ink peeking out from her dress just below her collarbone. I had enough ink on me to know that area of the chest wasn’t fun.

I itched to touch it. “What’s your tattoo?”

Her hand went to the spot. She shook her head lightly, moving the fabric of her dress to cover it. “It’s… It’s a sunflower.”

I wanted to see it. Uncover the entire thing. “Is there a story behind it?”

She stared off at the trees, thinking. I drifted my finger over her arm to get her attention.

Her eyes slid closed. “It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

Her head tilted my way. “Some other time?”

I took the hint, though it stung my pride some. It was something she wasn’t ready to share. She toyed with the latch on her black bag, as if she was unsure whether to open it. I wanted her to unlock all her boxes. “Show me your camera.”

Sienna pulled out a nice digital camera, fussing with the telephoto lens. “I’m learning.” She shrugged. “I love landscapes and still life, but I’ve been trying to do more portraits too.”

“Show me.”

She scanned through the display, showing me some of the most amazing pictures I’d ever seen. An old man sitting in the park, his reflection captured in the puddle in front of him. The next was a close-up of a lady with wrinkled skin, her head back laughing. After that, a stray dog, sitting by itself outside of a restaurant, looking at people eating inside. She sighed and clicked the button to advance to the next image.

It was broken pieces of glass laying on gravel, shoved into a makeshift heart. Then a woman feeding a baby while a single slice of pizza sat on the table in front of them. The last was a picture of a wilted flower near an old gravestone with no name on it, but it was the elderly woman out of focus walking away that was the real subject.

“Pictures capture the parts of people we don’t really see. Well, we see them, but we don’t really see them, you know? A glimpse of happiness. A tear of sadness. The emptiness we hide inside ourselves. Those moments we take for granted but they end up being the most significant. Like you said, what defines us. Time goes by so fast. Sometimes”—she looked at me—“I feel like I’m missing it.” She fussed with some of the buttons. “It’s a decent camera, but I don’t know. Maybe one day I’ll get something better. For now, it’s what I could afford.”

“You’re amazing.” I meant it, clinging to her every word as if they contained the answers I’d been seeking. Nothing ever made sense to me. The brutality of war. The destruction of fire. I had no doubt Sienna would find the beauty hidden inside the wretchedness.

I gazed back at those amazing eyes. Would she be able to see through my skin, uncover the murderer I’d kept hidden inside? To the sins that haunted me every time I closed my eyes? Parts of me I never wanted anyone to see?

As if the Universe had other plans, Oscar strolled up to her and placed his head on her knee. “Hey buddy.” She reached down and scratched lightly behind his ears. “You look like you’re feeling better. Guess that cone of shame didn’t last too long.”

I shifted my ass on the bench. “That plastic collar thing?” She nodded. “Yeah, that lasted about ten minutes before he rammed into the back of the ladder truck. He kept scraping at it until it almost strangled him.” I licked a piece of cherry pie off my thumb. She was right. This pie was fantastic. “Atta made a makeshift collar out of one of those cheap pool noodle things and some rope, but that didn’t last long either. He chewed it into a million pieces.”

Sienna was staring at me; those luscious lips parted. I licked my finger again, a little slower this time, enjoying what I was doing do her. It was only fair play. All she had to do was breathe to get me just as turned on.

“What’s your last name, Sienna?”

She blinked at me. Yeah, she was under my spell too.