Chapter 10
10
Sienna
Why couldn’t he have asked a yes or no question and left it at that? Asher’s gaze scanned over me, waiting for an answer—one I wasn’t prepared to give.
He wanted my last name? It was Tatum, but I feared saying it out loud would trigger him, just like hearing his full name had triggered me. What would I say after admitting it? Hi, do you remember me now? And then watch him get pissed off and storm away?
As much as I wanted to tell him, I couldn’t. I’d been in Nashville for four years, but like all good things, they never last. Candace knew; well, she knew that me being here was always only meant to be temporary, even though she had stated over and over again that I was running for no reason.
“Breathing easy” was something I had to constantly remind myself about, and complacency only made me sloppy. Unobservant. One day, they’d let the devil out of his cage.
Nothing prepared me for the verdict four years ago. “We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of aggravated assault.” I sat in the front row, hearing those cowards give that bastard a slap on the wrist. A tear had run down my face, burning its way through my chest. My heart ached as I closed my eyes in defeat.
I knew the club had a great attorney. I’d heard stories about how Diesel’s brothers got off on technicalities. They bragged about it. But mine should not have been such an open and shut case. He tried to kill me. He shot me. But no, his attorney argued there was no premeditated intent. Since Diesel hadn’t planned to shoot me, his felony charge carried a two-to-four-year sentence.
Diesel got four. Our system was corrupt, and there was nothing I could do about it. I swore the judge was paid off to give him the lightest sentence there was.
“You just wait, bitch. Just wait.” Diesel spat his threat at me while they cuffed him to take him back to jail. Those dead eyes—soulless and evil—smiled at me as they walked him to the exit. He nodded to his brothers, who filled the back of the courtroom, as he limped his own bullet wound to the door.
I saw the acknowledgment in their eyes and knew I had a short window to get out of town. I’d spent almost a week in the hospital after he’d shot me, and then the weeks before his sentencing, he was locked up while I was learning how to move my shoulder without crying out in agony. Trying to wash my hair or dress myself, even using the bathroom, was excruciating. The devastation Diesel had inflicted upon me just kept on giving.
The only way I’d be safe was to leave and change who I was so he could never find me. I couldn’t count on anyone; after all, I’d told the cops I thought he was behind Freddie’s death, but nothing ever came of it. Where was the good? I learned quickly you couldn’t trust anyone.
I rubbed the sharp pain that stabbed through the center of my sunflower tattoo—my attempt to disguise the hole Diesel had put into me.
“Ta… Tate. My last name is Tate.”
Asher gave me a quick wink. “Sienna Tate.”
His jaw ticked as if he was savoring my lie. “So, tell me more about yourself, Sienna Tate. I know you work at the vet’s office. Are you a nurse? I mean vet tech? That’s the job, right? Vet tech?”
I shook my head. “No. Well, no. I do all of the office work. Answer phones. Billing. Ordering supplies. Things like that. I’m not supposed to touch any of the patients.” I glanced around. We were alone and Asher was distracted by a new topic. “Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes, I do. I can’t help myself.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
The smile that curled those amazing lips melted something inside me. I could tell he really meant it. It was a safe secret. One that didn’t force me to lie. “We get short-staffed sometimes. I don’t think holding onto a scared dog or cat while Sam or Doctor Beshcroft takes care of them is against the rules.”
Five children ran past, shrieking as only feral children do. Oh, to be so innocent and free.
“Did you say Prescott?” he asked.
That instant jolt of recognition zinged through me. Was he just messing with me now? “B e s h c r o f t,” I enunciated clearer.
“Oh, okay.” He shook his head. “I thought you said Prescott. Sorry. That’s where I grew up.”
My gut sank. The truth hovered on my tongue. I needed to tell him. Admit it all instead of digging myself deeper. Besides the few years of me being here, I’d lived in Prescott my entire life.
It was a part of me that no longer mattered. This time with Asher, right now, would be nothing more than a collage of photographs in my mind one day, tucked safely away from harm. A moment of regret, captured in a warm, sunny park with lush trees and green grass.
As much as I wanted to fall for him all over again, I couldn’t. The urge to pack my single bag and run overwhelmed me. I’d saved that bag—the one I’d used to move out of my parents’ house. I’d tucked it into the corner of the closet in Candace’s basement apartment. It was my reminder that time was also my enemy.
“Arizona, that is,” Asher clarified. “Not too many people know it or heard of it. Everyone thinks Phoenix first when I mention Arizona.”
My mind drifted back to our street—to the dirt and gravel which barely let any grass grow. It was always so hot. Oppressive some days. I could see why we both felt Nashville was more comfortable. Things were able to grow here, not be stifled and choked out by looming deserts. “It’s north of Phoenix.”
“That’s right! Wow, I’m impressed you knew that. So where are you from?”
I slid my eyes closed, hating myself even more. “California.” The lie came naturally. I could see he wanted more, so I tossed another proverbial log on my fire. “A place called Downieville. It’s a small town near the Yuba River.”
I could tell by the crinkle of his eyes he had no idea where any of that was located. That was why I’d picked it. I needed to tell my dad something, so finding the smallest town in the middle of nowhere with a population of less than three hundred people to build a fake life seemed best.
“Ahh, a California girl.” He seemed to like that. “So, what brought you to Nashville?”
“Something different?” I shrugged. It was the truth, even though it really wasn’t.
Asher was leaning even closer to me, causing my unrequited, old feelings to bloom in my chest. His cologne had to be laced with pheromones or drugs or something because the entire package was lulling me into a stupor. He smelled so damn good. Clean. Untainted by the corruption of a sinister, lawless life. Asher Hayes had been a good person back then and was even more remarkable now.
My attention caught on a gorgeous woman with auburn hair headed directly for us. The closer she got, the more I could see she was a few months pregnant. Right behind her was a gorgeous man in shorts and a blue T-shirt, carrying a little boy over his shoulder. Little legs were kicking in the air as he giggled. It was an adorable picture. I grabbed my camera.
The woman’s smile grew wider. “Hi! Sorry to interrupt.” She glanced at the table, holding her growing belly. “You mind if we join you two for a few minutes?”
Asher sat up a bit, smiling. “Hey, Haley. Have a seat.”
The woman tossed a leg over the bench and got herself situated, huffing a bit. “Hi, sorry. Moving has its challenges.” She wedged in. “I wanted to meet you. I’m Haley.”
She held out her hand. It felt great to meet someone my age who actually wanted to know me. “Hey, I’m Sienna. Nice to meet you.”
The tall guy behind her smiled warmly at me while the cute little boy hanging on his neck giggled wildly.
“That little terror is my son, Roman. His terrible two’s have stretched into his three’s, so I’ll apologize in advance. I’m Marchy’s best half.” Noticing I was confused, Haley clarified. “Coop’s best half.”
The guy behind her stretched his hand out across the table. “Cooper March. Nice to meet you.”
I shook his hand. “Sienna. Although I’m still kind of confused.”
“All the guys have nicknames,” Asher clarified. “Some go by their last names, others by something someone called them that just stuck. He’s Cooper March. Coop. March. Marchy.”
Haley pointed at Asher. “He’s Hayes, or Ash.”
“Or Ashhole.” Coop winked. He pointed across the park. “Hawk. Atta. Cap…”
“I feel like I need to take notes,” I admitted. “Is there going to be a quiz later?”
That made everyone laugh, until the weight of Asher’s hand came around my waist and made its home on me. Was he staking his claim already?
Haley leaned up closer. “So, I was kind of hoping I could talk to you about something.”
My gut feeling tingled. This was headed for disaster. I braced and waited. If she was going to “out” me somehow, well, no better time like the present. My legs worked just fine. I could be across this park and in Candace’s car in twelve seconds. I’d already mapped it.
“Coop and I are obviously expecting.” She took a moment to acknowledge the man standing at her back. “I was talking with your friend over there… Candace? And she mentioned you’re a photographer? I’d love to get some nice family photos taken and then maybe do a maternity shoot?” She glanced at my camera. “Do you have a website I can look at?”
Was she hiring me for a job? It made my thoughts stumble. “I… I take photos but I’m not a photographer.”
“Awesome photos,” Asher muttered out.
He wasn’t helping, especially with all of that encouragement wafting off of him. “I’m not… No. it’s just a silly hobby of mine.”
Haley looked confused and then she pouted at me. “I thought you were taking photos of the picnic?”
Shit. “No. I’d only just taken the one.” I lifted my camera, toggling to it. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked permission to take pictures. I’ll delete it right now.”
“No!” Haley ordered. “Can I see it?”
Asher leaned against my arm, making me hyperaware of his warmth and the feeling of having him touching me. “If it’s of Coop, it probably fried the memory card.”
“Ashhole,” Coop muttered.
The little boy climbing all over Coop giggled more. “Assphhhol,” he repeated.
“Oh my God. Stop!” Haley shook her finger at both of the men. “Behave! Don’t make me tell Sienna about The Roman Incident .”
I studied the image on my camera screen, hoping she wouldn’t think it sucked. The lighting was a bit off and it needed editing. The closer I looked, the worse it became. “It’s not… I could take another one that’s better.” But Haley was making grabby hands, so I handed my camera over to her.
I didn’t want to see her disappointment, so I focused on Asher. “The Roman incident?”
“Oh, my goodness! This is gorgeous!” She glanced up at Coop. “Check this out.”
Asher gave me a swift head shake of disapproval. “You don’t want to know.”
“Oh, now I think I do.” The irritation that flashed over his face had me backtracking. “That’s okay. Forget it. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry…you don’t have to?—”
He glanced at his friend. “Coop, help me out here.”
“You’re on your own here, bud.” Coop set the little boy down, who wanted nothing more than to be on top of the picnic table. As soon as Roman was free, he crawled right over to Asher, who spun him around to sit on his knee.
My entire world folded inward, seeing him like that. So natural. So patient and caring. The fissure in my chest cracked wider. Asher would make a wonderful father someday. Maybe he already was, and I was just ignorant to it. Surely, he had a life that was full of magical moments like this. As if he could hear my thoughts, his gaze lifted up from Roman to me, smiling. I took my camera back.
“May I?” I asked Haley quickly, already adjusting the focus on the lens.
She gave me an encouraging smile. I tightened the focus and angled better while everything else in the world ceased to exist but his smile. I would never see the day when Asher Hayes held his own child like this, but I was going to capture it for myself. Something for me to touch and remember when I’m long gone.
Haley and Coop seemed oblivious to the crisis my heart was currently in. They were focused on the moment from their own perspective. I quickly turned my body, capturing the moment when Haley had nothing but pure joy radiating from her. How Coop rested his hand on her shoulder while a million unspoken words moved between them.
“So, about The Roman Incident,” Haley started while I once again faded into the background of life. I snapped another photo of those honeycomb eyes. That would be the picture I would hold in my heart.
“You’re killing me. You know that?” Asher warned her in fun as he continued to cuddle-wrestle with the little boy in his arms.
She waved him off. “Shush. It’s adorable.”
It felt like another gift as Haley spent the next ten minutes enlightening me on the night she and Coop had gone to the movies. They had tried to find a babysitter, but no one was available. The last person on their list was Asher, who agreed to watch baby Roman.
“We thought ‘what could go wrong?’ We’d only be gone a couple of hours, and Hayes is more than capable of handling anything that could happen if it did.” Haley affectionately smiled over at Asher and continued.
“When we got home, the house was a mess. The fireplace screen was knocked over, and soot was everywhere. Roman was covered in ash from head to toe and passed out on the couch. Chocolate milk was spilled everywhere.”
I started laughing. I tried not to, but I couldn’t control it. “Where was Asher?”
She smiled conspiratorially. “Hayes was passed out in our playpen thing.”
“What was he doing in the playpen?”
“That was the same question Coop and I asked. But yeah, he had Roman’s pillow under his head, the baby blanket over his torso, and a sippy cup tucked in one hand against his chest.”
“Hey now,” Asher chimed in. “In my defense, he wouldn’t stop crying, so I opened the gate and laid inside, hoping to calm him down. After all, he was in jail, and I was watching baseball. Once I got inside, he kept crying, so I gave him apple juice in his cup, which seemed to work. Then, when he offered it to me, I took it and placed it beside me. We finished watching the game.”
It was cute how Asher defended his actions, but I still had unanswered questions. “So, how did Roman end up on the couch?”
Haley glanced at Coop, who finished the story. “We suspect that Hayes passed out once he stole Roman’s pillow. Roman did what he’d seen his mom do many times, tossed his blanket on the sleeping giant, crawled over him, and was free to move about the house as he chose.”
“He was sleeping next to me,” Asher stressed.
My insides hurt. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed like that. I pictured the whole thing in my head as Haley told the story. Honestly, imagining what Asher looked like asleep with a child tucked to his side made me want to see it firsthand. Maybe he was exactly what he said he was—a good guy.
Asher scrubbed a hand over his face, wiping his tight beard. It framed his jaw and lips perfectly. I wondered what that sexy stubble might feel like on my hand.
“Well, now that that is out in the open”—he waved his hand at Haley—“I guess my traumatic moment of how I first met this one isn’t as embarrassing as I thought it was.”
“Bro, people have sex every day. The fact that you caught Haley and me coming out of the coat closet at the station isn’t embarrassing.” Coop’s eyes met Haley’s. A tender glance between the two only emphasized his admiration for her. “Plus, if I remember correctly, you’re the one who walked off with a tray of brownies she brought. So, if anyone should be embarrassed, it should be you.”
I enjoyed listening to all the guys share stories about each other. They were a family for all intents and purposes. Cap was the dad, Atta the older brother, and the one everyone looked up to. Fed was the youngest of them all, and it was clear that he worked hard but played just as hard. But out of all of them, Asher was closest to Hawk, his girl Skye, and her sister Tori.
I took some photos of Haley, Coop, and Roman, capturing the new family they were building. It was hard not to be envious of the life I didn’t know I’d been craving. The life I’d been denied.
After promises to email her the photos I’d taken and some sharing of contact information, Asher stood and offered his hand to me. “Take a walk with me, will ya.”
Over the last few hours, I’d let my guard down. I felt comfortable and accepted by the bunch around me, and for the first time, I wasn’t afraid to be alone with a man. Asher wasn’t going to hurt me. I placed my palm on his, and he helped me uncoil myself from the picnic table. We strode through the park, finally stopping at a set of swings. I took a seat in one, and he took the other.
“I hope you had a good day.”
“I have.” I smiled. “Thanks for inviting me. It’s been a while since I’ve been out with a group of people. I forgot what it was like.”
“I’d like to do it again, but maybe just the two of us this time. Dinner, next Friday? You pick the place. Unless you’re okay with me picking it.” Asher must have seen the apprehension in my eyes. “I know you like meat,” he joked.
I couldn’t tell him no. I couldn’t bring myself to say that word out loud. The chains of the swing set bit into my hands. People were starting to leave the picnic, hugging goodbye. That hollow feeling inside of me felt different today, as if the constant ache had been soothed somehow. Even though he had no idea, Asher had given me a piece of myself back. “My favorite is the Southwest Bacon Burger over at Smokey Pete’s.”
The smile he gave me felt like a gift. He locked the heels of his shoes into the dirt and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his phone and before I knew it, he took a picture of me. A few more taps and he glanced back at me. “So Sienna Tate, this is where I get your phone number so I can properly take you to Smokey Pete’s.”
I had to make a choice: return to my self-induced prison or choose a new path—the one Asher Hayes was standing on.
I took a leap of faith. After all, it was only dinner.