Chapter 11
11
Asher
I sat in another meeting, barely able to concentrate. Between reviewing fire equipment, cleaning equipment, storing and moving equipment, and then hearing all about how we needed to improve, I zoned out, staring at the picture that now meant something new to me.
Sienna just might be the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on, making me want the clock to move faster so I could be off shift and do something more than wasting time thinking about her.
I held my phone beneath the table as I sat in the back of the room for this latest update, zooming in on her face. She’d been smiling when I’d snapped my picture, so vibrant and adorable, but I’d been alive long enough to see there was nothing but secrets behind those amazing eyes. Secrets I needed to uncover. It wasn’t lost on me that we all had bullshit in our pasts—the shit that left deep scars inside our heads and created a whole lot of hesitation.
I was all too familiar with that hesitation. I always thought it was wrong to cage a wild animal. Beasts needed freedom to roam; it was why I’d always kept a woman at a safe distance. They wanted things I just couldn’t give. But now…
War had brewed in my veins for over a decade. War brought danger, and danger brought the need to watch my back and always keep moving.
My vision blurred on the close-up of Sienna’s lips. Now, those lips were all I could think about. She’d left the picnic with her friend, even though I’d offered to drive her home. I was hoping she’d want to spend more time with me, but her apprehension was evident.
Why though? What was she scared about? Most women her age were looking to land a husband and start making babies. That shit was happening all around me. It felt like we were celebrating something here every damn week. Engagements. Weddings. Babies.
But Sienna… She didn’t seem like the uncaged type— the kind of woman who keeps fucking guy after guy as though they are sifting through the pile, upgrading until they find the one who meets their high-maintenance needs.
I’d met too many of them just like that. A small selection had wanted more with me, and although I made a half-assed attempt with one of them, something inside me just needed to be unburdened by it all. Active duty had put me in places that had no guarantee of safety or survival. Badass warriors met their last breath too many times around me, making me question why I’d been one of the lucky ones.
Knowing they had family back in the states being ripped apart by the news of their deaths was just too much. My dad might take it hard, but my brother Liam would probably just piss on my grave.
I’d stood in full dress uniform near too many caskets. I guess I just never wanted to put that on a woman. A wife deserves someone who’s there for them—not a man coming home in a box draped in an American flag.
I knew Hawk was watching me out of the corner of his eye, snickering because I was obviously totally infatuated. Fuck him. He was just as lost on Skye, so he had no room to judge me.
Yeah, I was lost on Sienna. I wanted to ink my name on her skin. Seeing her hold Roman at the picnic, making faces at the kid and watching him giggle back at her, had left its mark too. That primal urge to plant seed and stake claims was in full force.
She seemed open to the idea, well, she didn’t get all squeamish and avoid him like that one girl I’d dated for a few days had done.
I called up Sienna’s name on my screen and started another text. The conversation this morning was still above it, where she’d thanked me for inviting her to the picnic and then I’d told her we’d gotten a callout for an active fire alarm which had turned into a false alarm. Which then turned into me describing my twenty-four-hour on, two day off schedule, and how Atta’s chili had eaten through the crock pot liner.
I’m sitting in a meeting that is slowly killing me. What are you doing?
I turned my phone on silent and flipped the screen over. I didn’t need Hawk to start reading my messages. He was already busy rolling his fucking eyes at me.
“Pussy whipped dipshit,” Hawk said under his breath.
I leaned back in my chair, feigned a neck scratch, and cracked him in the head. “Right back atcha, fuckwad.”
The crew started having conversations amongst themselves while Cap messed with the laptop that was plugged into the big TV. No matter how much technology improved, there were always connection problems.
Hawk elbowed me. “You got a place picked out yet?”
I called up the link on my phone and showed him what I’d been planning. “You think she’ll like this?”
Hawk squinted at the picture. “For a first date?”
Now I was doubting myself. Hard. “You don’t think this is nice?” There was a dinner cruise which left the one dock downtown every day at five thirty. Dinner and a show out on the water. “I thought it was cool.”
Denise, one of our EMTs, leaned on the back of my chair. “Show me.” I handed her my phone. After a few seconds, she handed it back to me. “No.”
Geez! Was everyone in on my business?
“Are you thinking a decent sit-down meal or are you trying to impress?” Denise asked. “Like is she a fifteen-dollar buffet or are you aiming for a second date with better sex?”
These people . “I’m aiming for memorable.”
Her smile widened with approval. “Memorable. Got it.” She tugged her own phone off of her utility belt with a direct order for me to hang on a sec.
After a minute, she handed her phone to me. “You want to really impress a girl, take her here.”
My own phone vibrated with an incoming text.
I’m listening to music while editing picnic photos. I’m convinced technology hates me as my screen is broken it took forever to write this. Candace made delicious sangria so I’m sipping my troubles away.
Not just you us too. I thought you didn’t drink.
Hawk grabbed Denise’s phone out of my other hand. “Let me see that. Will this place get me extra sex?” he asked.
Denise gagged. “Pretty sure a run through any fast-food drive-thru will get you extra at this point.”
I took the phone back while waiting for Sienna to respond. The place Denise was recommending was downtown. I’d never been there but I’d heard of it.
I never said I didn’t just not much of one. Alcohol makes people do dangerous things sometimes.
Was she meaning me? Was I the dangerous thing here?
Speaking of dangerous we still set for dinner Friday night?
As if Oscar was sensing my anticipation, he came up next to me and rested his jaw on my leg. I scratched his head while the minutes ticked by. Was the delay her way of stalling, not knowing how to say no?
Cap went on with an update on new city ordinances and the new fire suppression system they were installing in the office building next to the courthouse, while the moments stretched on.
I was just about to give up hope when a new text buzzed my screen.
What time? I work until 4
I smiled to myself. Well, it was on the outside too by the way Hawk was grinning at me.
Not sure. I need to make reservations first
Reservations means fancy?
Yes I need to buy nice pants now
She sent back a smiley face. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.
Sienna offered to meet me at the restaurant. I promptly shut that down. I got it. Understood her reasons. If the date sucked, she wanted to escape on her own terms.
Meeting someone was what you did when you really didn’t give a shit or didn’t want to commit to it in any way. It was a perfect exfil option—all you needed was a lame excuse. Sorry, I have to go. I just got an emergency call. I’d both given and received that lie. But you only get to pull that one once with someone before you never hear from them again.
That’s why I was in my truck, driving down the road to pick her up properly. Sienna had told me she rented the lower level of Candace’s house, which had been made into an apartment. Candace was an older woman, easily could pass for Sienna’s mom, which just added more questions to my list.
Apartments weren’t cheap in this area. Fortunately, after living on base for a while, and Dad splitting some of Mom’s life insurance money with me and Liam once we were old enough to appreciate it, had helped me get my own place.
That had been a hell of an argument and the last time I’d seen my brother, my father, and the state of Arizona. I’d just retired from the Army and did what most soldiers do: I went home.
Liam was no longer Liam—his motorcycle club brothers all called him Zip. But where I’d left the States to live on the edge of lawlessness on behalf of the U.S. Government, Liam had relocated to Wyoming and was doing things I didn’t want to know about.
Dad had lured us in with cash, but it was really his way for me and my brother to finally put the past behind us. I tried to forgive, but the life Liam had been leading at the time, he didn’t do regrets or apologies.
I just hoped this evening wasn’t going to become another regret of mine.
It was too late now to change arrangements with Sienna. She’d given me no indications up to this point that she might be psycho, but she also hadn’t been as forthcoming as some other women I’d gotten to know. She was guarded, but probably for good reason.
Screw it. It was only dinner. If things went south, it would just be another night out.
I parked my truck in front of the small, white house with blue shutters, and headed for the sidewalk on the left to get around to the back of the house. Two cars were parked in the driveway next to each other. One was a newer SUV, painted a nice metallic silver. The other was a faded blue, four-door Toyota, which looked like it’d seen better days. At least the tires looked new. The front quarter panel was dented and had a silver hole in it the size of a… I took a closer look.
My breath came out hard. I quickly glanced around the neighborhood, reaching for a sidearm I’d left locked in my truck. It was still sunny outside, giving me a clear view of the area. It seemed safe. Quiet. Solid roofs. Newer cars. Homes were spaced a bit farther apart, but they looked well cared for. Nice grass. Landscaping. Nothing out of the ordinary. This suburb wasn’t in 47’s callout zone, but I also knew this area didn’t have much trouble.
I rubbed my finger over the hole again, not trusting what I was seeing. The tip of my finger almost matched the diameter. I searched the rest of the car quickly, trying to be inconspicuous but thorough. There was some rust on the back near the muffler, and some pitting in the paint near her Tennessee license plate, but other than that, everything else was clear.
The source of the bullet hole settled hard in my gut.
I headed for the side walkway. The yard sloped pretty hard, giving way to a small, concrete patio with two chairs and some potted plants. It was nice. A decent sized wooden deck above it kept it shaded, but the paint on it was starting to peel with the weather. I could see a light on inside through the double sliding door, but a set of vertical blinds obscured the view. Only one single window was on this level, down a few feet from the patio doors. At least there was one additional exit, but it could also be an easy breach entry point.
I knocked.
The blinds jostled a bit until she got the door unlocked. Good. She kept herself safe from people just gaining entry. The glass door slid away, along with my ability to breathe.
Holy shit. Sweet Mother of God. The words “marry me” hovered in the back of my head.
Sienna was a complete knockout. Head to toe sin. Her long, black hair was curled in waves I ached to touch. And that dress… one shoulder bare, the other with a soft sleeve on it. It hugged every delicious curve. Not a hint of cleavage but that was okay. As much as I wanted to see it, it was hidden, like a present only I could open.
And those black heels…. Strapped around her ankles.
Fuck me.
“Hi,” she said back to me. I think I said hi, so I said it again.
Sienna gave me a shy smile and glanced down at her outfit. “Too much?”
What was left of my brain rattled in my head. “No. It’s perfect.”
I lost her eyes to the carpeting. “You said fancy . I didn’t know how fancy .” She waved between us. “You look”—she drew in a long breath—“great.”
She let me inside her apartment, but it could have been on fire for all I cared. She was eye-fucking me just as hard. I was now questioning if I should’ve worn a fucking tie and if she could see my dick growing anxious in my new pants. Tori had told me if I wore my standard black cargo pants, I’d be “lame” so I had hit the mall last night. Even drove around the part of the parking lot which still held black char marks. Now I was wearing new clothes to take the woman I’d met in that spot out for a fancy meal. Too bad the only thing I wanted to eat was standing right in front of me.
I gave her a hug. I needed to touch her. She hugged me back but didn’t linger, ushering me farther inside her place.
I glanced around her apartment, as if her surroundings would tell me more. There was an older brown couch, a coffee table, and a small tv on a stand. A small kitchen area was set up by the steps to go upstairs with a sink and one of those small, apartment-sized refrigerators. No stove. A microwave sat in the corner. She had an old desk with a laptop and some books piled on top, along with her camera equipment. And in the far corner was her bed.
Everything was clean and tidy, but it all seemed impersonal—like she was crashing in someone’s basement. But behind the sofa, three huge black-and-white framed prints hung on wall.
“Did you take these?” I asked.
Sienna stood next to me. “Yeah. They’re…”
“Wow. They are amazing.” I wasn’t just telling her shit. This woman had some serious talent. The first was the Pedestrian Bridge downtown. I’d recognized it immediately. But the bridge wasn’t the focal point, as I was learning from her style. There, along the railing, was a couple kissing. That was what she’d captured.
The second was of a cat in a cage at what looked like the vet’s office. A woman’s finger was reaching in between the bars while the cat tilted into her touch. Attached to the cage door was information on the patient, the word “Unfriendly” written on the top in black marker.
I glanced at Sienna, completely at a loss for words. Her fingers were picking at her bottom lip, as if she was holding her breath while I put her art under scrutiny.
“These should be in a gallery, Sienna.”
That made her gasp a bit. She didn’t agree. I could see that by the way she kept shaking her head.
The last print was the most fascinating. It was a self-portrait of a single eye with a single tear dripping down the slope of her cheek. But where the other two were solid black and white, only the eye was colored blue.
“Pain,” whispered out of me.
She gave me a wilted smile, as if I understood the meaning. “Yeah.”
“Love, misunderstanding, and pain,” I said again.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re the only one to guess all three. Candace didn’t get the cat. The owners had warned us that she might bite but she only did that because she was sick and in pain. They didn’t know why she had turned mean. She didn’t know how to tell them she was hurting.” She adjusted the frame on the wall, straightening it.
I wanted to know all her secrets. Understand how her mind worked, as if she held all the answers to the shit that still festered inside me.
My throat felt thick. “Why the tear?”
She stood there, staring at it, trying to find the words. “It reminds me that no matter how low I feel sometimes, I’m still here. That sorrow, loss, anger, and loneliness are all a part of the bigger picture.”
I fought the urge to touch the tear in the photo. To wipe it away. “I hate knowing something made you cry.”
“I hate knowing something made you cry too,” she whispered.
When had she ever seen me cry?
She gave me a gentle smile and reached for a small purse. She slipped her phone inside it. Was her screen cracked or was it the lighting in here?
“I know this is a girl question, but are my shoes okay? I didn’t know if we’re going to be walking for miles tonight.” She glanced at those sexy heels which I now ached to rest on my shoulders. I’d bunch that dress up her hips while watching all the sadness in her world evaporate.
“These are only good for about a half mile,” she said with a laugh.
“Keep them on.”
Her attention snapped up at me. Hopefully she could read the picture I was thinking in my head. I’d fucking carry her anywhere if her feet got tired, just as long as those legs were wrapped around me.
I followed her outside, waiting on her to lock the door. And then I took her hand, trying to do this right. I hit the button to unlock my truck and opened the passenger door for her. She was going to have a bit of trouble climbing up in the truck in those heels and that dress. But Sienna managed while I thanked the sky above for a better view of those amazing legs.
She buckled herself in and smiled at me while doing a little, happy shimmy in my leather seat. She took a deep breath, settled deeper, and sighed. “I love this truck.”
Yeah. This was going to be a great night.