44. Henrik
FORTY-FOUR
HENRIK
Startled by a noise, I shoot up in bed. “What was that?” My heart pounds in my chest as adrenaline floods my veins.
Thump, thump, thump. I hear an eerie pounding sound, and my gaze darts around the room, searching for the source.
It seems like the harder I look, the more frantic I feel and the louder it gets.
Panicked, my chest grows tight, my breathing restricted.
Maybe if I sit completely still, I’ll figure it out.
Ignoring the fact I’m trembling, I try my best not to move an inch.
My brain feels fuzzy as I scan for anything out of place.
My mouth feels dry and my pulse races as I process what’s happening.
Soft, warm hands touch my arm and I flinch. Turning to my side, I see it’s Carina. Concern and worry are etched across her beautiful face.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“What’s wrong? I’m worried about you. You’re sweating, shaking, and look like you’re freaking out. I said your name multiple times, and you didn’t respond. What’s going on?”
Filled with emotion, my shoulders sag. “I woke up to an unusual noise. At first, I wondered if I was dreaming, but then I heard it again, and it really freaked me out.”
Resting her hand against my naked chest, I still feel like my heart’s jackhammering behind my ribcage. “What was the sound?”
“It sounded like a thumping or pounding. At first, it was muffled, but the longer I tried to figure it out, the louder it got.”
“Was it one and done or several thumps?” she asks, calm and assessing.
Closing my eyes, I think back to what I heard. “Several,” I tell her, then ask, “What do you think it could be?”
“Depends. Do you still hear it?”
Focusing hard, I nod my head. “Faintly.”
Moving closer, she lowers her head to my chest and pats, mimicking my still-elevated heart rate. “Thump, thump, thump, thump,” she whispers. After several seconds, she lifts her gaze to mine. “Did it sound like that?”
Nervously, I lick my lips before I answer, “Yes.” Then I frown. “What does that mean?”
“I’m not a doctor, but I think you’re having a panic attack and it woke you up. I get those from time to time and they’re unnerving. The thumps you heard are your heartbeat.”
Confused, I pull the corner of my lower lip between my teeth as I consider the possibility. “I’ve never had a panic attack before.”
One look at Carina has my heart rate picking up again. From her furrowed brow, the grimace stretched across her lips, and her eyes, wet with unshed tears, it tells me she understands what I just experienced.
“Maybe it was just a nightmare. What was it about?”
I hang my head and mumble, “It was all the fears you mentioned last night.”
She gasps and wraps her arms around me tightly. “I’m sorry I put all my fears into your subconscious. That must’ve been terrifying.”
I place a soft kiss on her cheek. “It’s okay. I may struggle to sleep for a few days, but I needed to know what you were concerned about. As I said last night, I will do whatever’s necessary to come home to you every season.”
“Thank you, Henrik. You don’t know how much that means to me.
” She sighs as she snuggles into my chest, warming me and calming my still-racing heart.
I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight.
I don’t know how I’m going to let her go the day after tomorrow.
When we got together months ago, the crab season felt so far away.
And even though she told me about her uncle when we first met, I never imagined how it would affect our relationship now.
I hate to see her struggle. I wish I’d known the severity of her fears so I could have been easing her mind for months, not days before I have to leave.
“I love you so much,” I whisper against her head before falling asleep.