Chapter 11 Asher
Asher
Staring at her with hearts in your eyes
It took all of my willpower to stop myself from fucking her on the spot. That list? Goddamn, my head is dizzy thinking about all the things we could do. I put it all aside for now so I can focus on my visit with Max. My phone chimes with an incoming text.
Cas: Hey
Me: Hey. What’s up?
Cas: Nothing much. Wanted to see what your plans are for today. I have some news to share with you.
Me: I’m actually about to head to Max’s house. You’re more than welcome to tag along if you want.
Cas: Yeah. I actually have something to tell the both of you, so that makes it easier.
Me: Cool, want me to swing by your place on the way?
Cas: Yeah, that’d be cool, thanks man.
Me: You got it. I’m headed out now.
I arrive at Cas’ house to find him cuddling with Avery on their porch swing, looking at her with stars in his eyes. My heart aches for what they have. Their journey hasn’t been easy, but their love is something to admire. My mind drifts to an item on Bri’s list: fall in love.
Out of all the goals on her list, that’s the one thing I can already check off on my end.
We only talked about the sex item on her list, so I’m not sure I’m the one she wants to fall in love with.
Thinking of her falling in love with another man physically hurts, but it’s her journey to take.
I’ll help her regardless, even if I’m not the one she calls hers.
“Get a room.” I roll down my window, harassing the newlyweds.
Their heads snap in my direction, Avery’s cheeks turning cherry red. Cas just laughs before kissing her forehead and heading my way.
“Thanks for picking me up,” Cas says while buckling his seatbelt.
“No problem. How’s married life treating you?” I ask, trying to hide the jealousy in my tone.
“It’s incredible. I honestly never thought I’d get to marry my best friend.”
“Your best friend? I thought Max and I were your best friends. I’m wounded.” I place a hand to my chest in mock hurt, and Cas punches my arm.
“Whatever. So, Avery told me about how she asked you to help Bri. How’s she doing?” It doesn’t surprise me that he knows about Avery’s request, but it still catches me off guard. It’s not my story to tell, so I opt to give him a shortened version of the truth.
“She’s doing good, given the circumstances. She’s a lot stronger than she thinks she is. I just want her to see her true potential, ya know?”
“Yeah, I get it. It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle.”
“Yeah. Wait, what do you mean? I don’t love Bri.” Shit. Play it cool, Asher. Feel it out first before you admit anything.
“Asher. Remember when you and Max called me out for liking Avery? And how y’all came at me for denying it?” Cas…using my own words against me.
“Yeah…”
“Well, I’m telling you that you’re just as obvious. Especially at my wedding.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, my attempt at playing it cool betrayed by the slight waver in my voice.
“You were glued to her side all night, holding her hand and staring at her with hearts in your eyes. And that one time when we were hanging at Aces, you accidentally slipped up and called her your bear. I had a feeling then, but I knew for sure at my wedding. You’re head over heels for her.”
“Fuck.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she knows.”
“Oh, thanks. That totally helps,” I say sarcastically.
“For what it’s worth, I think she’s into you as well. She’s just in denial,” Cas says matter-of-factly while shrugging his shoulders.
“Um. How do you know?”
“Well, she’s letting you help her. Bri is very headstrong, and despite whatever she’s going through, she’s not pushing you away.
That, and the fact that both of you have been in the longest game of foreplay known to man.
I think she didn’t like the fact that she had some sort of feelings for you.
I mean, given how things went down in high school—”
“Have you been talking to Max? I swear, I had the exact same conversation with him. Wait—what aren’t y’all telling me?”
“Avery told me some shit, and I wasn’t supposed to say anything.
Forget I mentioned anything.” Cas’ panicked look has me on edge.
I wrack my brain, trying to figure out what Cas is referring to.
I can only think of what she whispered in my ear, and then she gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the evening.
Could that have something to do with it?
“Dude, you can’t just say something like that and tell me to forget it.” Frustration blooms in my chest, soaking my words. Being left in the dark fills my mouth with a sour taste. First Max alludes to something, and now Cas? What the fuck!
“Hey, I told Avery I’d keep it a secret, and I plan to do just that. Just ask Bri, man.”
“Yeah, cuz she’ll tell me the truth,” I scoff.
“She just might. Communicate with her, it never hurts to try.”
“Communicate with her? Where did you get that bullshit advice from?” I can’t help but smirk at Cas.
“Some dick who called me out on my bullshit with Avery. You should listen to him, he has some good advice.” Cas is just full of jokes today.
“I’ll think about it.” And by think about it, I mean obsess over it until I cave in and ask her myself.
We arrive at Max’s house, and all Bri talk is put on pause.
Max greets us with a slower gait, and I know without asking that he had physical therapy.
It’s killing him that he isn’t operating at 100%, but getting him to admit it has been a struggle.
Still, the fact that he’s still going to PT and working his ass off is a good sign.
I know there were times when he wanted to give up.
To stop going. After multiple conversations with Cas and I, we managed to talk him out of it.
But, like myself, Max is a people pleaser.
So, our pleading for him to continue was the motivating factor for him to keep going.
Well, that and his love of carpentry. If it means he’ll show up to his sessions and work on himself, then I’ll nag him all damn day.
By the look on Max’s face when he saw Cas with me, he’s not all that surprised he’s here.
Max and I have been buddies for years before adding Cas into the mix.
I’ll admit, when Cas came into the bar years ago, I was hesitant.
I’m one to admit to my faults when they happen.
And yes, Cas burned a lot of bridges with his addictions, but I, too, fucked up by assuming he was back to his old tricks.
Years of vicarious trauma from dealing with my then alcoholic brother tends to cloud my vision from time to time.
With lots and lots of therapy, I’ve learned a lot about triggers and how they can pop up at random times.
Cas coming into the bar in the beginning stages of trying to win Avery back had my trigger alerts flashing neon red.
The day after that happened, I called my therapist to get me in for a session to help me unpack it, because sometimes you just need that third party.
With her help, I was able to shift my perspective, and I ended up having a very therapeutic conversation with not only Cas, but my brother, as well.
“Ah. If it isn’t Thing One and Thing Two. What’s up?”
“I was already on the way when this one begged and pleaded to join us.” I gesture toward Cas with my thumb.
“Begged and pleaded my ass. You all but got on your knees for me to tag along. It was really sad.” Cas smirks at me, and I respond by flipping him off.
“Jackass.” Then I point at Max before calling him out. “Always trying to start shit. You and Bri are the same in that way.”
“Speaking of, how is she doing?” Max’s voice is full of concern and sadness for his little sister.
What a fucking question, one I still struggle with answering.
I’m smack dab in the middle of two siblings.
Max and Bri have always been attached at the hip.
Max has reached out to her numerous times, and all communication has gone unanswered.
I know he doesn’t understand Bri’s sudden ghosting.
They’ve always been each other’s go-to when things get rough.
Not knowing what happened is killing Max.
On the other hand, Bri feels immense guilt for the accident, and I know she’s harboring a lot of guilt over what happened.
And if I had to guess, I’d bet Bri hasn’t been by to see her parents, either.
Max is my best friend, and Bri is my…something.
So, I do what I think is best and change the subject.
“She’s okay. Enough about Bri, though. I’m guessing by your current scrunched up expression that PT kicked your ass?”
Max looks defeated, and his wounded expression destroys me. I watch him shut down the disappointment and paste a fake as shit smile on his face.
“Yeah. Today there were a lot of resistance band exercises and some new stretches. My muscles are weeping. And my hand still hurts from having a band snap back at me. PT hurts more than being kicked in the balls.”
“Oh, Max, always the drama king,” Cas interjects, leading Max to flip him off without even looking in his direction.
“Anyway, enough about you. Not everything’s about you, Maxwell.” I hear him curse at the use of his full name, my cheeks hurting with how hard I’m smiling. He hates when I full name him.
“Cas told me he has something he needs to tell us.” We both turn to Cas, and he has the biggest smile on his face.
“Avery’s pregnant!” Cas exclaims, choosing not to beat around the bush.
“Holy fuck, are you serious?” I ask.
“Damn, y’all aren’t wasting any time,” Max says directly after me.
“We knew we wanted kids, but we weren’t expecting it to be this soon. I’m excited, but terrified I’ll be like my dad. Given my history—”
“You’re afraid of turning into your dad,” Max finishes his thought.
“Yeah. I’m back in therapy to work through some of my shit. I don’t want to stress Avery out by bringing my trauma into fatherhood.” Cas clears his throat. “I hope you know you’ll be a huge part of this baby’s life. They’ll have so much love and support.”
“I’m going to be the best uncle ever. I can’t wait to spoil the fuck out of that kid. And Asher here will be one hell of a godfather,” Max says, stirring up shit like he always does.
“Why do you assume I’d be the godfather? Hate to break it to you, but I think Cas and Avery are the ones to decide that, right?” I look at Cas, and I don’t like the smirk on his face.
“Cas?”
“We haven’t confirmed it officially, but Max is right.”
“Told you,” Max says at the same time I say, “What the fuck?”
“It’s obvious Bri will be the godmother. And since you’re most likely going to marry my sister, it makes sense for you to be the godfather.” Max just shrugs like he didn’t just say I’d be marrying his sister.
“What the fuck makes you think I’d be marrying your sister? For all we know, I could marry…I don’t know, Giselle.” Max glances at Cas before they both burst out laughing.
“You and Giselle? Yeah, good one.” Max is laughing so hard he starts to wheeze.
“Nah. You and Bri are endgame. You both know it, yet don’t do anything about it.” Max is too observant for his own good.
“I mean, do I like Bri? Yeah, of course I do. But will I marry her? She doesn’t think of me in that way.”
Max and Cas look at each other again before speaking simultaneously, “She does.”
My heart flips in my chest when I think of a future with Bri. I’d love to be her forever, but I can’t get my hopes up.
Max, Cas, and I spend the rest of the time talking, laughing, and just hanging out.
It's nice to just be with the guys. But if I’m being honest, I miss hanging with a certain curvy brunette that’s taken my mind and heart hostage.
She can hold onto both for as long as she wants, because truthfully?
I don’t want either of them back. My heart and soul are hers to keep.
When I’m at home and alone in bed, I replay all the events from today.
Bri and I. God, I’d give anything to make that a reality.
The day she chooses me to be the one she falls in love with will be the second greatest day of my life.
The first being the day I fell for her. Because if she does give me her heart, I’ll treat it like it’s the most important thing I’ve ever been gifted.
Because she’s the most precious person who has ever entered my life.