Beauty and the Bachelor

Chapter 26

I’m calm when we arrive at Vivian’s fathers’ apartment. I can’t say the same for Vivian. She’s vibrating with nervous energy. We walk up to another old apartment building much like the one Vivian lives in. When we stop in front of the right door, Vivian stares at it. She’s bouncing in place, wringing her hands, and biting her lip. I grip her by the shoulders, turn her to face me, and lock her in a steady gaze. “Honey, relax.” I squeeze her shoulders lightly. “Even if they’re mad at first, we can explain what happened. From everything you’ve told me about your fathers, they love you very much. They’ll listen. They’ll accept us.”

She glances at the door and worries her bottom lip in her teeth. “In my entire life, my entire dating history, they’ve never once approved of a man I’ve brought home to meet them.” She looks at the ground and mutters, “Of course, every man I’ve ever brought home has turned out to be a jackass.”

She sighs and looks at me again, a slight layer of pink tinting her cheeks. “I really can pick the winners. And with the way we met…” She closes her eyes and rubs at her temples. “This is going to be a disaster.”

She stares at me, unsure, still worrying that bottom lip. I reach up with my thumb and lightly tug her lip out of her teeth. “Keep chewing on this, and you won’t have any lip left.” I brush my thumb over the lip in question, and my mouth dries up. “And that would be a shame,” I murmur.

I duck my head down to hers, but she jumps back before I can get a taste of her mouth. “What are you doing?” she hisses. “You can’t kiss me in front of my dads.”

I could argue that her dads aren’t here to see us, but a knock on the window beside the door proves me wrong. A deep voice grunts out, “Are you going to stand out there forever or come in already?”

Vivian tips her head back and groans. “Dad! Are you spying on us?”

The door flies open, and a tall, slender man with salt-and-pepper hair holds his arms wide open. The smile on his face is so big and bright I can’t fathom why Vivian was so nervous. “I wasn’t spying. I just happened to look out the window and saw you there. I couldn’t wait for my little girl to give me a hug!”

Vivian steps into the man’s arms while another man, this one shorter and a little stockier but with just as friendly a face, appears behind them. He waits maybe two seconds before he tugs Vivian out of the first man’s arms and into his own. “Stop hogging her. I missed her too.”

I smile at that. The two men fighting over her with bright grins and big hugs are everything I pictured them to be. For someone to turn out as kind and sincere as Vivian, she had to have been raised with a lot of love.

Vivian lets her father rock her and sighs contentedly. “I missed you guys too. It’s so good to be home.”

After they’ve finally gotten their fill of hugs, the two men step beside each other and turn their attention to me. Their smiles become strained. They don’t appear hostile, just wary. So wary. I step forward, holding out my hand. “Hello. I’m Sebastian.”

The taller one shakes my hand first. “Stefan.” He nods to his husband. “And this is my better half, Glen.”

Glen shakes my hand next, and then there’s an awkward pause. All of the ease and happiness they showed when they saw their daughter disappears. I clear a lump of nerves from my throat, suddenly understanding why Vivian had been so nervous. I want these men to, if not like me, at the very least, respect me and trust that I don’t want to hurt Vivian. I plan to ask for their permission to marry her, but I can tell earning their approval is going to be a hard feat to accomplish. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Glen says.

After another beat of silence, the men step back and wave us forward. “Well, come in, then,” Stefan says.

We let the camera crew in first and wait for them to position themselves and get her fathers miked. “Please tell me you at least tried to clean up,” Vivian says.

Glen waves her off. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, like this is an argument they’ve had a million times. “We picked up.”

We walk into the small apartment, and to be honest, I’m glad we went to Vivian’s place first so I had an idea of what to expect and I got my surprise out of my system. I’d have been horrified if I couldn’t hide my reaction in front of Vivian’s parents.

The place is larger than Vivian’s, but not by much. At least it has a full kitchen and a proper dining nook separate from the living room. And there’s a small hallway where I assume the bathroom and bedrooms are. But it’s tiny and cramped. With the camera crew, we barely all fit.

I don’t look down on them or pity them for their circumstances. In fact, I admire them for being content with the small, old apartment. I’m a 1-percenter. I know this. And growing up the way I did, I realize that I’ve not been exposed to what passes as normal for most people. I’m sure I’m spoiled. Seeing how Vivian grew up makes me realize I’m more out of touch with reality than I thought I was. It makes me a little self-conscious. But Vivian is best friends with the Olivers. She’s got to be at least somewhat used to wealth.

Despite the size and the clutter, the apartment is clean and homey. There are framed pictures all over the place of Vivian, mostly in various dance outfits. Some with Ella Oliver, some with her parents. And one group photo that I’m assuming is her extended family. They all let me look for a minute. I point to a picture of a very young Vivian in a tutu. She’s missing teeth, and it’s absolutely adorable. “You’ve always loved ballet?”

It”s Glen who responds. “It started as a recommendation from Vivian’s therapist. She was dealing with a bit of trauma when we adopted her. Her doctors thought having a hobby would be good for her. We put her in tap, hip-hop, and ballet at first to figure out what she might like best, but it was a done deal the first time she saw a tutu and a tiara.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, that sounds like Vivian.” Moving on, I point to the group photo. “Extended family?”

“My parents,” Stefan says. “And my brother and sister. My brother has three kids, and my sister has four. They’re all up in Seattle, so we don’t get to see them a lot.”

I look to Glen. “And your family? Are they far away too?”

Both Glen and Stefan stiffen. Vivian winces. I wonder how I’ve put my foot in my mouth. I shoot Vivian a questioning glance. She forces a smile, but lets Glen explain. “My parents are older, and they’re not supportive of my relationship. They especially didn’t like the two of us adopting a child. Two men have no business raising a child together.” He shakes his head. “We’re not on speaking terms. I see my brother and his family every few years, but they’re in Kansas, and we can’t go if my parents are going to be there, so holidays are usually out.”

Ignorant jerks. I’ve not been with these men five minutes, and I know they deserve better than that. “I’m sorry. That’s terrible. I can’t imagine not seeing my kid or my grandchild over something like that. It’s their loss. You’ve raised an amazing daughter, and she tells me nearly every time we talk how happy her life is and how much you love her. I can only hope to have a family like yours.”

My words, despite the compliment, turn the air thick with tension. Both men shoot me wary looks again. I suppose I can see how my speaking about my future family when I’m trying to date their daughter is a little nerve-racking. I’m a stranger to them, after all.

Vivian sighs. “Let’s all just sit down and talk, yeah? You guys can ask him any questions you want.”

I hold back a grimace, but I know I’ve got to face the firing squad at some point. May as well do it now while I have Vivian to help me explain things.

We all sit. Vivian’s living room is only big enough for one couch, so her dads tell us to sit and they each grab chairs from the dining table and drag them into the room. I tug Vivian down with me, not giving her a chance to put a lot of space between us. She gives me a curious look, but doesn’t move away, and when I take her hand in mine, she doesn’t protest. Not only do I want to present a united front to her parents, I need the comfort and moral support her touch gives me. I’ve never had to meet a girlfriend’s parents before, and it’s proving harder than I thought it would. Normally, I’m completely confident in myself and don’t care what others think of me, but this is different. I very much want these men to have a good opinion of me.

After a painfully awkward silence, Vivian says, “All right. Ask your questions.”

Stefan crosses his arms over his chest. “What happened? You were supposed to be done with this weeks ago. You were only going to stay through the ball.”

Of course, they’d start there. I grit my teeth. This is not going to go well.

Vivian gives her dad a strained smile. “That was the plan,” she says. “But I can only get out of the show if Sebastian releases me.”

Both men turn expectant looks on me. The huge smiles they had when they saw their daughter are gone. I resist the urge to tug at the collar of my shirt. I can’t show them any weakness. I’m confident in my decision to keep Vivian, and I stand by it. I sit up straight and keep eye contact with the two men staring me down. “How could I let her go? She’s intrigued me since the moment we met, even before the show. I had to get to know her, and the only way to do that was to keep her.”

Glen huffs, and Stefan actually glares at me. “Against her will?” he demands. It’s not a snarl. Not quite.

“It’s not like I’m keeping her locked up in a dungeon,” I mutter, trying my hardest and failing to keep the defensiveness out of my tone.

I’m once again playing the role of the villain. Vivian speaks up before I can lose my temper and say something that I’ll regret. “Dad. It’s okay.”

This quiets both men. They look at Vivian and me, taking in the scene as a whole. We’re shoulder to shoulder and holding hands. We look like a couple, and Vivian is smiling softly. Glen and Stefan both take a minute to assess the situation as if really noticing our closeness for the first time. Both men narrow their eyes, but while Stefan’s gaze is shrewd and disapproving, Glen’s is more concerned. His eyes bounce between Vivian and me, and he rakes his hand through his hair. “You’re happy?” he asks Vivian. “You like him?”

I hold my breath for Vivian’s answer. I know she likes me, but how much will she admit to her fathers? How much will she admit to herself? She quirks a crooked smile at me and says, “He’s not so bad.”

Not the I love him I was hoping for, or even an I like him very much. But hopefully Glen and Stefan recognized the teasing in her tone and can read between the lines.

Before anyone can respond, there’s a knock on the front door. Glen and Stefan share a look, then Stefan grins at Vivian. “Why don’t you get it?”

Vivian beams at her fathers, recognizing that whoever is outside is a surprise visitor she’ll be happy to see. She jumps out of her chair and squeals when she throws the door open. “You guys!” She throws herself into her best friend’s arms. “This was supposed to be family only! What are you doing here?”

Juliette Coleman pushes Ella Oliver away from Vivian and attacks her with a hug. “Please. We are your family.”

They each take a moment to smother Vivian with affection. I’m glad that Vivian has such good friends in her life, and I’m also glad for the intrusion. It gives me a chance to speak to Glen and Stefan without Vivian sitting beside me. This is my chance to convince them that I’m serious about their daughter without freaking Vivian out. “Should we let the girls have their space for a bit?” I ask. “I’d like to speak to you both privately, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Both Stefan and Glen eye me—Stefan suspiciously, and Glen cautiously. But after a quick nonverbal communication with each other, they get up and take their chairs back over to the small dining table. They sit and gesture for me to do the same. It’s not exactly private, but their place is too small to do anything else. I sit down across from them and take a moment to figure out how to start this conversation. They wait.

Deciding there’s no way to ease them into this, I go for the ripping off the Band-Aid approach. “I’m in love with your daughter, and I would like your blessing to ask her to marry me.”

Both men gasp quietly. They grip each other’s hands and do more of that silent communication before turning their attention back to me. “Marriage?” Glen asks. I wish I could tell if he’s happy or upset, but I can’t get a read on either of these men. “That’s a serious commitment.”

I nod solemnly. “I know. And I have the utmost respect for the vows. My parents were happily married for decades, up until my father passed, and my mother insists that they’re still married and only waiting to be together again in the next life. I value marriage. I take it very seriously, and I only plan to do it once.”

“And you’re that sure about Vivian?” Stefan asks. The hostility seems gone from his voice, though he still sounds uncertain. “It’s only been a couple of months.”

I take a breath and let it out slowly with another nod. “I’m sure. She’s the one.”

Stefan pulls Glen’s chair closer to him, and he wraps his arm around the man. Glen sinks into Stefan’s side. I admire the way they’re holding each other. It shows how much they love and trust one another. They have what I want. What I never knew I needed.

“What about the show?” Glen asks. “We know how it works. The bachelors always sit the dads down at this episode and ask if they can marry their daughters. How can we trust you?”

I grind my teeth. “Screw the show. I hate this show,” I say, probably a little too passionately. I’ll be lucky if I don’t get sued by the network, but I don’t care. “If I could end things now, I would. If I’d met Vivian before it started, I never would have signed on to begin with.”

“But you did sign on,” Stefan says quietly. “There is a show. And from the beginning you’ve manipulated Vivian into playing along. You say you love her, but everything you’ve done where she’s concerned has been acting in self-interest.”

I flinch. It wasn’t like they make it sound. I acted in desperation. There are thousands of people depending on me. But does that justify everything I’ve done to keep her, or was I really just being selfish?

My eyes drift to Vivian. Are Glen and Stefan right? If I were a good man, I wouldn’t have manipulated things to get her on the show. I would have let her go like she’d wanted me to after the ball. Can a real relationship be built on such a weak foundation?

As if fate suddenly decides to twist the knife in my heart, Vivian gasps. “Hospice? Is it really that bad?”

Ella and Juliette both nod. There are tears all around. I’ve never seen so much devastation, except for when my own father died. My sister, mother, and I shared that same defeated expression.

Vivian sniffles but gets ahold of herself quickly, and her sadness turns to anger. “I should be there with you,” she growls. “Ugh. This stupid show! I’m stuck here for a couple more weeks, but I’ll be there just as soon as I’m free.”

Lead fills my stomach. She feels stuck? She isn’t free? I was sure she was falling for me the same as I am for her, but those aren’t the words of a woman in love. Maybe I am deluding myself. Maybe I am being selfish, and I’m just too arrogant to see it. Does she even want me? Or is she just making the best of her situation?

Ella wipes at her tears. “I hope he’s still here by then. I know he’d like to say good-bye.”

My chest constricts. I’m an asshole. Her friends’ father is dying. She wants to be with them. She looks so worried. And here I am, her prison warden, keeping her away because it’s what I want. Glen and Stefan are right: I can’t keep doing this to her.

I glance back at Glen and Stefan. I don’t know what look is on my face, probably the same devastation that is on the girls’ faces. My heart is breaking. But Vivian’s fathers can tell exactly what I’m thinking. They give me sad, pitiful nods. They know this is going to hurt me, but they’re still encouraging it. They want me to let her go.

How can I not? It’s the right thing to do. It’s what’s best for Vivian.

Swallowing back my heartbreak, I stand. When I walk over to the girls, their conversation stops. “Can I talk to you?” I ask Vivian, holding my hand out to her.

Vivian frowns at me, no doubt reading the look on my face and hearing the resignation in my voice. She slowly—warily—places her hand in mine and lets me pull her to her feet. I guide her into the small kitchen, just out of sight from the other women. Glen and Stefan join the others in the living room, giving us as much privacy as possible.

“What’s wrong?” Vivian asks.

James clears his voice and has the decency to look sheepish when he asks me to wait until he can get the camera and lighting on us. He wants to make sure they don’t miss this. He knows what’s coming.

Vivian and I both glare at him, but we obediently wait for the green light to have what will be the hardest conversation of my life.

Vivian can tell there’s something wrong. She’s staring at me, trying to figure out what’s happening. Her brows are pulled low over her eyes, and she’s frowning. When James gives us the okay to speak again, she waits, beseeching me with a look to explain.

I almost chicken out. I don’t want to do this. But Vivian’s words are still ringing in my head. Stuck here. When I’m free. Her fathers’ accusations are beating my chest. Manipulating her. Acting in self-interest.

“Sebastian?”

I swallow hard, and fortify my heart, praying I’m not about to break it irrevocably. “I’m letting you go,” I murmur.

It’s barely a whisper, but Vivian hears me. Still, she shakes her head as if she doesn’t understand. “What?”

“I should never have kept you this long. It was wrong of me.”

Her eyes widen to saucers. “You’re dumping me?”

I close my eyes and gulp. I have to be strong. There’s just enough hurt on her shocked face to crumble my resolve. “I’m freeing you.”

“But I thought?—”

“Do you love me?” I ask.

I’m terrified of her answer, but I have to ask it. I need to know. I have to let her go, but if she can give me a yes… Hell, if she can even give me a maybe, I’ll refuse the remaining women and come to her after filming ends. But I can’t risk sending the others away if she’s not in this with me.

“Are you ready to marry me, Vivian?”

Time stops, and a heavy silence slams down on us. Vivian’s face pales, and her lips part, but no sound comes out. Her chin starts to quiver. “I…I…”

She flounders for the words I’m so desperate to hear, but they don’t come. She can’t say them. Pain punches me like an invisible fist, pounding through my chest and ripping my heart out. I bury it as deep as I can. I will not let anyone, especially not Vivian, see how much this hurts. I don’t want her to feel guilty. She doesn’t need that after everything else I’ve put her through.

Once I’ve got a tight lid on my emotions, I cup the back of her neck and pull her toward me, brushing a kiss to her forehead. “You need to go and be with your family and friends right now.” Her eyes gloss over, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I rush on before I take it all back. “I can’t keep being so selfish. There are still a couple of weeks of filming, and you’re needed here.”

She swallows audibly and starts to shake. It’s heartbreaking. Maybe she doesn’t love me, but she cares about me, and I’m rejecting her. I’m hurting her. I reach for her, and she falls into my arms willingly. I wrap her in a tight hug. She soaks it up, laying her head on my shoulder. Her trembling slowly stops, and she inhales deeply before letting it out slowly. “Are you sure?” she asks.

She doesn’t argue. Doesn’t fight for us. And it hurts all over again.

“It’s for the best,” I say. “You need this. Go, be with Ella and the twins.”

She pulls back and looks up at me with glassy eyes. Seeing her shock and confusion fills me with guilt and even a bit of self-loathing. I hate that I’m hurting her, but she’ll recover. She’s not in love like me. Not yet, anyway. She’ll be okay. Me, on the other hand… All I can do is pray I don’t regret this for the rest of my life.

I need to get out of here.

I squeeze her in one last hug and manage a pained smile. “Good-bye, Vivian.”

She swallows again, but she doesn’t move or say anything. She’s frozen. Her shock nearly takes me to my knees. I need to leave. This is the right thing. I have to let her go. With one nod to her fathers, who are holding each other but looking at me with respect and sadness, I walk out the door and head for the limo waiting in front of her building.

James and his crew come scrambling after me, while José and his crew stay behind with Vivian. Andrea, Jeremiah, and Aaron are all waiting on the sidewalk when they see me coming. Andrea stiffens. “Sebastian? What’s wrong?” Her concern is touching. She’s a good woman, and pretty much the only person on this whole production I can stand.

“We’re leaving,” I say grimly.

The three of them blink as if they don’t understand me.

“I let her go.”

“You what?” Jeremiah squawks. “You can’t do that!”

I glare at him. If Andrea is the best person on staff, Jeremiah is by far the worst. I don’t give a shit if he’s pissed. “I can,” I say. “It’s in my contract. After the top nine, I have final say. I’m allowed to send anyone home when I feel like it. I sent Vivian home.”

He gapes at me. “But why?”

I glare at him again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

That brings out his indignant side. “You have to. That’s in your contract.”

I haven’t cared about what’s in my contract since this show began. I’m not going to start now. Glaring at Jeremiah for all he’s worth, I climb into the limo, throw myself into the seat, and wait for James and his crew to follow me.

Andrea, Jeremiah, and Aaron all stay behind. I’m grateful for the reprieve. They’ll be back, getting in my face soon enough, but for now I need some time to get my feelings under control. I will not allow the whole world to see me break.

I’m quiet all the way back to the mansion. When I realize they’re taking the long way and won’t let me go until I give them something, I make eye contact with James and say, “It had to be done.”

He’s quiet a moment, then gently asks, “Do you regret it?”

I think about it. Regret is a funny thing. You can hate a choice, and you can be hurt by a choice, but still not regret it. I’ll miss Vivian, but I don’t regret letting her go. “How can I regret giving her what she needed?”

“You really do love her, then.”

I turn my head toward the window, over this stupid confessional. James must be satisfied, because a few minutes later we arrive at the mansion. I’m out of the car and locking myself in my room before anyone can catch up with me. Screw them. Screw them all. I’m so sick of this whole thing. I’m on the verge of losing it. How in the hell am I supposed to go visit three more women’s families now? How do I play this game now that the only person making it bearable is gone?