33. SOMEWHERE WE STILL EXIST #2
I add a third finger when his moans increase in volume, scissoring and stretching as much as possible while also trying to make sure he doesn’t come.
It’s proving to be a bit difficult when he won’t stop fucking himself on my fingers, but I let him go, sliding my lips down his length and withdrawing my digits from inside of him.
I’m lubing up when it hits me. A question I haven’t asked.
“Are you negative?” I ask him, gripping my cock as I hold it against his entrance.
“What?” Kenny frowns.
“Do you want to go bare?” I ask slowly. “Are you negative?”
“Yes.” He nods quickly, and I smile. “Yes, to both.”
“Thank god.” I exhale sharply. “Me too.”
Kenneth grabs the back of my head and kisses me, putting a hand flat on my back and pushing me down against him. My chest brushes his, and I press my cock against his entrance a little harder now, a question on my lips as I pull away. He beats me to it.
“Yes,” he breathes. “Fuck me. I want it. Please, Conrad. I need it.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I push in slowly, the sound echoing in my ears.
He gasps against my lips and his hands land on my ass, pushing against me until I’m going deeper, then until I’ve bottomed out.
I give him time to adjust, and gauging from his harsh breaths, he needs a second.
I look at his face closely, at his wide eyes, but he doesn’t seem to be in pain.
Then his eyes are fluttering closed, eyelashes kissing his cheekbones as he nods.
I reach a hand up to his face and grip his chin.
“Look at me, baby,” I whisper, and his eyes fly open, wide and searching. “I need you to remember this moment forever.”
Kenneth whimpers as I pull back and thrust back in, grabbing his thigh and hoisting it up against my waist, tilting his pelvis in a way that ensures my cock hits the right spot.
His eyes go glassy and wide when I slide against his prostate, his jaw dropping as he makes the sweetest fucking sound I’ve ever heard.
When his fingers tangle in the hair at the back of my head, my breathing stutters.
It feels amazing to be connected to him in this way.
Intimate. It’s so much more than sex. At least it is to me—I hope it is to him.
I speed up my thrusts, angling myself to ensure I pound against his prostate with every thrust. He hasn’t closed his eyes again, though it looks like he wants to really badly.
I’m glad he hasn’t, though. I need to see everything play out on his face.
Every thought. Every feeling. I need it all on display for me.
Kenneth throws his head back and exposes his throat to me, so I lean in and suck on it, my hips faltering when his ass squeezes me tightly.
“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!” Kenneth yells, and I pull out. He whimpers loudly, grabbing onto me, but I shake my head.
“Not yet.” I shake my head again, and his lips are parted as he stares at me. “It can’t be over yet.”
Ken nods now, too, and I lean back onto my knees and grip his waist, then flip him over.
He laughs when he lands on his knees, and I line myself up behind him.
Thrusting into him, I give him time to adjust again, then grip his upper body and bring him toward me.
It makes the angle even deeper, and he gasps sharply at the change in position.
Before he can say anything, I wrap my arm around his waist and splay my hand on his chest, then pound into him.
There’s a loud keening sound from Kenneth as I hit the right spot inside him, and my free hand lands on his hip, squeezing as I fuck him even harder and faster.
His body is tense, and I can tell he’s close by the sounds he’s making.
It sounds like he can’t catch his breath, and it’s exactly how I feel, too; like it’s all too much yet not enough.
“F-fuck, baby,” Kenneth groans, throwing his head back against my shoulder and fucking himself on my cock. “You’re gonna make me come!”
“If you come, you’ll take me with you,” I growl, and right before he can wrap his hand around his cock, I grip his wrist. He practically sobs in my arms, and I smirk. “You can come without it, Ken. Come on, I know you can. I believe in you.”
“I’ve never—” Ken gasps. “I’ve never done that, Conrad! Oh, f-fuck. I don’t know if I can do it. I d-don’t—”
“Yes,” I groan, thrusting into him harder. “Yes, baby, do it for me. Come for me.”
“I’m g-gonna—” He gasps, sobbing in earnest now. His ass clamps around my cock, and I grip his wrist harder. “I’m coming!”
“Fuck yes,” I moan. “Mmm, baby, yes.”
Kenneth fucks himself on my cock forcefully as he comes and keeps coming.
And coming. And fucking coming. It seems to never end, and it pushes me right over the edge, too.
I finish on a hoarse cry, my toes curling as the pleasure slams into me.
I feel off-balance, dizzy. There are colors behind my shut eyelids that don’t belong there, and I swear to god this is what heaven must feel like.
He slumps forward slowly, bracing himself on his forearms and pressing his cheek against his pillow.
Obviously, I follow. The lazy grin on his face makes my stomach flip, and when his eyes flutter closed and he sighs, I decide it’s the best time to pull out.
I give him a warning squeeze, and his eyes fly open as I withdraw from his body carefully.
But it’s not pain I see on his features.
No, it’s loss. Like it devastates him that I’m not inside him anymore.
I lean back and stare at Ken’s ass, holding my breath until I see the cum trickle out of him. Then I exhale sharply and grin, sticking two fingers inside him, shoving my cum back into his hole.
“You’re mine now,” I growl, claiming him.
Kenneth grins. “I’m yours, baby. Only yours.”
I lie down next to him, throwing my arm over his waist and turning him into the little spoon as I squeeze him against me as close as he can get.
My eyes tear up immediately, the emotion of what just happened overwhelming me.
I’m grateful he can’t see me, but I can tell he knows I’m crying when I sniffle, no matter how soft the sound is.
“What’s wrong, Connie?” Kenneth whispers, clearly concerned.
“I missed you.”
“I don’t understand,” he replies, but I shake my head and squeeze him again.
“Can I stay?” I ask softly, trying to avoid having this conversation. “I just want to feel you in my arms tonight.”
“You never have to ask,” Kenneth whispers.
So I close my eyes and bury my nose in the back of his hair, thanking all my lucky stars that I’m here with him again. That I get to have him in this way. That I’m so fucking fortunate to get to love him.
And I stay.