Chapter 8 Once I Loved You
The cool night wind carried the briny scent of the river.
It cooled a little of the fire in my chest.
I looked coldly at the man across from me—still wrapped in bandages from his injuries, with fresh wounds on his face.
"Have you sobered up now?"
"I'm sorry."
Xie Yiheng kept his eyes lowered, not daring to meet mine.
I almost laughed from anger.
"Is your apology what I want? I thought I made myself clear that day."
Avoid occasions where the other person might appear.
That should have been an unspoken agreement between us.
I had already done my best to keep this from happening.
And what had he done?
I looked at the glittering surface of the river and drew a deep breath.
"Xie Yiheng, I really don't understand what you're thinking."
"Why put everyone in such an awkward position?"
His voice was hoarse.
"I don't understand either."
"Just like I don't understand how you could leave so calmly back then."
"Five whole years. Not a single word."
Xie Yiheng lifted his eyes to me. He looked almost drowned in heavy grief.
"Wen Yu, all these years I've kept wondering—did you ever really love me?"
I couldn't make sense of it.
"Does saying this now mean anything?"
"I want an answer."
His dark eyes fixed on me stubbornly.
I looked toward Gu Chaonan, leaning against the car not far away.
The wind picked up again, as if it carried his restlessness with it.
Xie Yiheng followed my gaze.
The emotion in his eyes grew even more unreadable.
I told him.
"I did love you once."
"Later, to me, you were a comfort zone, a habit, plain mineral water."
Not something I couldn't give up.