Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
SAVANNAH
My heart races as I slide the window open, slightly shocked it was so easy to get in when everything I know about Logan contradicts that. I figured he’d have a top-level security system, and I’d get nowhere near here.
Yet, I did.
And it’s only when I sling my leg into his room and pop my head in that I realize why—the bastard is sitting in front of the window, waiting for me with a cocky smirk on his lips.
Asshole.
When Logan first started teaching me to fight, it was awkward. We didn’t really speak, and he honestly scared the crap out of me, but the more time we spent with each other, the more both of us started to talk.
In the beginning, it was simply him giving me lessons, but then we’d sit on the gym floor after a session to cool down and make small talk. Then we started talking about our lives, which progressed to exchanging numbers, and he’d check in with me every few days, asking if I was okay.
I haven’t told him why I need to know how to defend myself, but I can tell he’s been dying to ask, he just doesn’t want to push me.
It’s not romantic between us, and he’s become a good friend.
He’s probably my only friend.
I take a quick inventory of the room to make sure the door is closed and notice how sparsely decorated it is.
Of course, Logan would never have decorated his room when he moved in freshman year and instead just keeps it plain, almost looking as though no one lives here.
His bed is gray, with a gray comforter and gray walls to match.
Boring.
The only reason I knew which window to approach was because he was complaining last week about the other guys.
He told me how he made sure he had the room on the west side of the house, furthest away from their rooms, so he could have some privacy along with peace and quiet because, apparently, Harley, Cole, and Noah can be ‘loud and annoying as fuck.’
“That was painful to watch. You made it so much harder than it needed to be. Now, what the hell are you doing here?”
I roll my eyes as I climb into the room, dusting off my leggings, while trying to act nonchalant when in reality, I’m kind of freaking out about being here. I mean, this is my first time inside Harley’s home, and I came in through his friend’s window. What would happen if he caught me in here?
“What? A girl can’t come to visit her friend in the middle of the day?”
He huffs but otherwise stays silent.
Figures.
“Fine, okay… I am here for a reason,” I mutter, and he snorts. “I need your help. I need to know how to protect myself. Really protect myself, not just what you’ve been teaching me already.” Because in just a few short weeks, I’ll be heading home for summer break, and I’m not sure I’ll survive it.
Logan stares at me, his cold eyes assessing, but they don’t make me uncomfortable.
I’ve gotten to know him over the last year, and I know that deep down, he’s a good guy.
He wouldn’t have offered to help me if he wasn’t, and he certainly wouldn’t have met up with me once, sometimes twice a week to help me with my form in the gym or to just hang out.
“I already am helping you do that, or do you suddenly not remember the last almost two years?” he deadpans, and I approach him, giving him my best pleading look that literally never works on him, but I try every time, anyway.
“I know. I know. But… I just need more, Logan. I need to know more than just simple self-defense, I need to know that if I somehow end up in a… situation, that I’ll be able to come out of it alive.”
His gaze hardens, and I know he has questions. Only, when he opens his mouth to speak, the words that leave his lips almost floor me. “Is this so you can fight back against Harley?”
I blink.
And blink again.
No…
In all the time we’ve spent together, he’s never once brought Harley up in relation to me. I figured he didn’t know what I did and had no idea of this—whatever is going on between me and his friend.
“You knew?” I whisper as my legs collapse, and I land on the corner of his bed. He whirls around in the computer chair, and it’s then I notice the array of screens across one of the walls.
I knew he was good at computers, but this? This is something else, though it’s probably wiser if I don’t ask for details.
The less I know, the better.
“You know he’d kill me if he walked in here and found you on my bed, right?” he mutters dryly, but even his poor attempt at rare humor isn’t enough to lighten my mood.
“You knew?” I demand, and he sighs, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.
Just how much does he know? Does he have all the details, or does he think what I’ve led Harley to believe?
I’m almost afraid of the answer.
“I know everything that goes on around here, whether people know it or not. Harley, in particular, thinks I’m as unaware as the rest of them.”
A breath of relief whooshes out of me when he doesn’t mention more intricate details. I shake my head. “B-but how?”
Logan raises a brow, and I internally repeat my earlier sentiment.
The less I know, the better.
“Okay, okay,” I mutter, and attempt to get back to the topic at hand. “This isn’t about him.”
“So, it’s someone else?” The sharp edge to his voice has me blinking innocently, not wanting to give him ammunition to look further into anything.
“The reason I approached you the first time in the gym was because I wanted to see what type of person you are. I knew what you had done, and I had seen the changes in Harley. I wanted to understand you better, to understand why you did what you did, but why it hurt him so much.
“I think it’s time we’re finally real with each other, Sav, because I genuinely enjoy your friendship, but if you’re asking me to teach you ways to hurt my best friend, then this isn’t gonna work out.”
I’m speechless. Not only because he’s known the entire time and managed to make me believe he didn’t know, but also because that’s the most I’ve ever heard him speak.
“N-none of this is about Harley,” I finally stutter, making sure to keep direct eye contact with him, so he can see the truth in my eyes.
“This has never been about him. Regardless of whatever is going on, he’s never been the one I needed to protect myself from.
If I could tell you who and what it was really about, then I would, but I can’t.
I just can’t do it. It’s too dangerous.”
Logan is silent for a moment before he takes a deep breath. “Dangerous for you, or for me?” he asks, hitting the nail on the head.
“It will never not be dangerous for me, and I’m not about to drag you into my problems. I won’t do it.”
“You have to know by now that I can take care of myself, Sav. Let me help you. Even if all I can do is give you an ear to listen, let me.”
I’m already shaking my head before the words leave his lips.
I can’t do it.
I won’t risk him, it’s not worth it.
But then again…
There’s so much I don’t know about Logan, but what I do know is that whatever he gets up to in his free time is not your typical hobby.
He can take care of himself. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen him with bruised knuckles.
Logan has an air of danger around him and has done for as long as I’ve known him.
I turn it over in my mind. Maybe speaking out loud about what’s been going on will make it a little easier to bear…
So, I take a deep breath and do the one thing I swore to myself I would never do—I tell someone.
I tell Logan everything. Every single lie and secret, everything he needs to know and the things he doesn’t.
I tell him about how my father is planning to marry me off to some unknown man, and how there will be nothing I can do to get out of it once he finally settles on my suitor.
I tell him about the threats, the violence, the neglect.
I bare my soul and wait for the world to fall apart around me.
Only… it doesn’t.
Everything stays the same as it was before.
The same tears that usually mar my face when I go to bed at night are there now, and my body trembles, but otherwise, there’s no difference.
There was no one waiting in the shadows to permanently silence me the moment I opened my mouth, and everything remains the same.
I told Logan, but he won’t be able to help me, no one will.
Still, it feels good to lay it all out there, to have the truth come to light, and have someone know my side of the story.
A warm hand encircles around mine before squeezing. “I’ll help you. I’ll do whatever it takes, I promise. It might take some time to figure some things out, but we’ll get you away from it all, I swear,” he whispers gruffly, and I burst into tears.