24. Bliss
Bliss
The sun is shining brightly as I push open the door to Magnolia’s new bakery. Charlie and Max dropped my truck off early this morning, so I was able to go check on my sheep before I drove into town.
Magnolia’s bakery hasn’t officially opened yet, but she said that she was getting it set up this week and that I should stop by. I’m taking her up on that offer today.
I walk into the strong smell of coffee. It’s heaven to my nose.
“You’re here!” Magnolia exclaims. “Perfect timing!”
“Run away while you still can!” Charlie shouts from somewhere on the other side of the countertops.
I walk in and lean over the counter. Charlie’s messing with cabinet doors.
Magnolia is standing in front of the espresso machine, making four cups of coffee.
“What’s she doing?” I ask Charlie quietly.
Charlie looks up at me with wide eyes. “She’s determined to make the perfect coffee to go with her cinnamon rolls. She’s been force-feeding me caffeine for the last hour, and I think my heart’s on the verge of stopping. Now it’s your turn to taste test.”
“Gladly!” I barely have time to finish saying the word before Magnolia is handing me two cups of coffee.
“Tell me which one you like better.”
I try both. “They’re both great!”
“But as a recommended coffee with the cinnamon roll?”
“Definitely the hazelnut,” I say. “The caramel is amazing, but it would be too sugary paired with a sweet pastry.”
“Good point. I made an extra-sweet salted caramel. What if I tried a raspberry white chocolate?” Magnolia muses.
“I’ll try whatever you make.”
She smiles brightly. “Perfect! You’re way more helpful than grumpy Charlie over here.”
Charlie slams the cupboard door and stands. “Hey now, I’ve drunk the equivalent of four lattes, and my legs are bouncing. I need a break from caffeine.”
Magnolia scoffs. “Quitter.”
Their easy banter reminds me of my sisters and makes me miss them. So I lean against the counter, sip my coffee, and prepare to be entertained by Magnolia and Charlie. It’ll be a good dose of nostalgia.
“So, how are things with Zane?” Charlie asks.
I choke on a sip of salted caramel latte. “With Zane?”
Charlie glances back at Magnolia. “She’s great at keeping secrets. I haven’t told her anything because it’s not my place, but if you want to bring her in the loop, you can trust her.”
“Bring who into the loop on what?” Magnolia asks after the machine quits spitting out coffee.
With a wary glance at the door, I decide that Charlie’s right. Magnolia can be in on the secret. “Zane and I didn’t get married because we fell in love. We got married because it was practical for us.”
Magnolia just stares at me, her jaw slack. “Wait. Like an arranged marriage?”
“More like…a beneficial-to-both-parties marriage,” I say slowly.
“So you’re basically a Regency romance heroine,” she says in awe.
“Sure, if you want to call it that. But less Lizzy Bennet and more Charlotte Lucas.”
Magnolia stares wide-eyed still. “But you could still fall in love—right?”
“Well, that part is a little too late. At least for me,” I admit as I rock back and forth on my heels and toes.
Charlie grins. “You love Zane.”
I don’t deny it.
Charlie turns to Magnolia. “She loves Zane,” she tells her as if Magnolia hadn’t heard her the first time…
“Have you told him?” they ask in synchronization, then bombard me with more questions.
Soon, I remember exactly how nosy friends can be. Before I know what’s happening, I’ve been through an hour-long interrogation about Zane and my interactions and analyzed everything that has taken place since we’ve been married.
“That man loves you,” Charlie declares at the end of the inquisition.
“We kissed—we didn’t declare undying love for each other.” Unfortunately. It sure would have been nice if he’d done something like that.
“He’s going to need encouragement,” Magnolia says thoughtfully. “Men always need a helpful push.”
“You think I should tell him I’ve fallen in love?”
The two of them nod. “That is not something you want to carry around in your chest. You should tell him as soon as you get the chance. Everything you’ve told us sounds like he loves you back, though maybe he hasn’t put words to his feelings,” Charlie declares.
“I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’m very good at sharing my feelings. ”
Magnolia looks at her with narrowed eyes. “You’re horrible at sharing your feelings! It’s like trying to pry them out of a lockbox.”
“It’s a very special box,” Charlie retorts.
“What if he doesn’t love me back?”
Charlie and Magnolia give each other a knowing look. “Wouldn’t it be worse to live in uncertainty?”
I take another sip of coffee. “It’s been incredibly awful, actually. It’s like I’m playing games in my head twenty-four-seven, and I’m exhausted.”
“You have to tell him then,” Magnolia agrees. “He’ll tell you he loves you too, and then the two of you can live happily ever after.”
She has a point. I can’t live in uncertainty my whole life. Unfortunately, it’s going to take putting my heart on the line—and it might break.
After another long pep talk and two more coffees, I extricated myself from being a taste tester and returned home to make some dinner and plan my speech to Zane. It all sounds good in my head, but I know that the words will leave the second I try to say them.
So instead of overthinking it, I get busy making soup. My mom always told me that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I’m about to put that advice to the test.
But not long after I finish throwing dinner together, Chip barks from the front porch.
That’s strange. He’s not much of a barker unless there’s something unusual.
I move from the kitchen to the front entryway and open the door.
I can see a cloud of dust coming up the driveway. It’s not a car I recognize.
The last thing I want is to visit with strangers. I want Zane to come home so I can tell him something important. Like, “Hey, I love you. I know we’re already married, but I’ve fallen for you all the way.” I can’t think about it too much, or I know I’ll be too scared to say anything.
“Good boy, Chip,” I tell him as he runs up and down the steps, barking like he’s applying for a job as a fire alarm.
The car pulls to a stop in front of the house.
I step out on the porch as a woman steps out of the sedan. “Hi there!” I call out. Maybe she’s with the census bureau. Those are usually the only strangers that risk driving down a gravel lane this far unannounced.
Maybe she’s lost. Sometimes, that happens out here. Cell service can be a little spotty, depending on the carrier.
The woman smiles at me and walks toward the porch. She looks vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite place her.
“Hi. I’m so sorry for just dropping by like this.” The closer she gets, the easier it is to see that she really is nervous. Her smile is stiff, and she’s clutching her hands together. “I don’t even know if I’m in the right spot or not.”
“Well, where are you trying to get to? I’d be happy to help.”
This time, her smile softens, and relief flashes across her face. “Thank you so much. You see, I thought this was Zane Madden’s house. But he might have moved in the last few years.”
A sick feeling of dread settles in my stomach. “Zane?”
“Do you know him?” She sounds so hopeful.
“Um, yes.” I nod slowly, fighting the rising nausea.
“Do you know where he lives now? Is he still in Pine Ridge?”
I force a polite smile on my face as I say, “He still lives here.”
Her shoulders drop as she sighs. “Oh, good. You wouldn’t happen to know what his new address is, do you?”
“No—I meant, he still lives here. This is his house.”
His house. Not our house.
The rumble of a diesel engine catches my attention, and I glance down the long driveway. Zane is rounding the bend. I don’t know if I should be relieved or concerned.
“That’s him pulling down the driveway right now. Do you want to come sit down while you wait?” I gesture to the benches on the front porch that are out of the sun.
“Sure, thank you!” She climbs the steps and sits on the bench in the shade. “I’m sorry. This probably seems so strange. I feel so weird, showing up here after all this time. But it was something I had to do. I haven’t had closure ever since I left Zane on our wedding day.”
It’s like someone slammed a fist into my stomach. I stumble back, planting a hand against the porch post to catch myself before I tumble off.
This is Alexa. Zane’s ex-fiancée. Almost wife. The one who left him at the altar. The one he has been hung up on for years.
And she’s sitting on my bench.
Zane rolls to a stop beside the car and climbs out of the truck. He spots me instantly. “Who’s here?”
Alexa is sitting on my bench in the shade, so I’m not surprised he doesn’t notice her right away.
“Er …” I clear my throat and swing my head around to stare at Alexa, who’s looking rather pale as she stands up from the bench.
I turn back to watch the smile fall from Zane’s face. Alexa stops next to me, and I have the overwhelming urge to run to my truck and drive away. But I can’t. My feet feel like someone tied them to a concrete block.
Zane takes a step forward. “Alexa.”
“Hi, Zane,” she says softly.
I’m getting whiplash, looking back and forth between the two of them.
“What are you doing here?” he finally asks.
I jerk my head back toward Alexa. Her eyes look a little misty, as though she’s holding back tears.
“I wanted to talk with you,” she says as she takes a step down the porch steps.
“It’s been three years since I’ve heard from you.” Zane’s voice is hard.
I have to fight off the urge to give him a big hug.
I can’t. Alexa was the woman he loved and was going to marry.
He never got his explanation of why she left.
He’s never healed from it. And even though it feels like my chest is being torn open right now, I know I need to leave and give them some privacy.
I walk down the steps and go to move past Zane. “I’ll go check on my sheep and give you guys some time to talk.”