24. Bliss #2
I stare at the ground as I walk past because I don’t know if I can handle seeing what he’s thinking.
Zane latches onto my arm as I pass, pulling me to a stop. I slowly turn my head to meet his gaze.
“Please stay.”
Oh, sure. Ask me to stay and watch you rip out my heart and stomp all over it. What an excellent idea!
But he looks desperate, and he asked so nicely that I simply nod once and turn to face Alexa while standing at his side.
“I have a pot of soup in the crock. Why don’t we go inside and eat some dinner and you two can catch up?” I suggest, even though it’s the last thing I want.
Apparently, my mother did manage to teach me some hospitality over the years.
Zane slides his hand down my arm to grab my hand and squeezes gently.
Alexa looks at our clasped hands. Her eyes go wide. “Oh! I didn’t realize …”
“This is Bliss. My wife.” Zane’s voice is steady as he introduces me.
I dare to look at Alexa. She looks surprised.
“Oh my,” is all she manages to say at first.
Zane leads me toward the stairs. “Come on in, Alexa.”
“I’m sorry, Bliss,” she says as I reach the top step of the porch. “This is so incredibly awkward. I didn’t mean—”
Zane cuts her off. “Let’s talk inside. I’m starving.”
The three of us walk inside and into the kitchen in awkward silence. I thought my mom could make the silence awkward. Not even close to what this is.
I walk to the sink and wash my hands before I get three bowls out of the cupboard. I dish up the soup and grab some spoons. I pass a bowl to Alexa and then to Zane, and we walk to the dining room table in complete silence.
The sound of spoons scraping bowls fills the room. No one says anything for a solid five minutes. I’m tempted to dance on the island and sing an ’80s rock song just to break the ice.
“I actually came to apologize,” Alexa finally says.
“You’re not here to try and patch things up, are you?” Zane asks bluntly.
“No!” Alexa exclaims. “Goodness, no. The way I ended things … It’s just been hammering away at my conscience. And I just can’t live with myself until I apologize to your face.”
She sucks in a sharp breath and continues, “Zane, I’m so sorry for the horrible way I left things between us.
I wish I had an excellent excuse for why.
But simply, I don’t. I panicked on our wedding day.
The commitment, the small town, being tied down to the ranch.
I was scared to death. And I realized that a person shouldn’t be scared to commit their life to someone.
I came here today to tell you that it was me, not you.
I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. I don’t think I’m someone who was meant to get married and live in one place.
I would have made you perfectly miserable—I’m sure of it. ”
This was not the direction I saw this going. That’s for dang sure.
“I’ve done a lot of growing up over the last three years.
And I’ve done a lot of traveling as well.
I work remotely, and I travel the world.
The funny thing is, I’m so happy and content.
I know it doesn’t excuse what I did at all, because that was horrible.
But I’m so glad to see you married and happy. ”
She smiles at both of us, her eyes misting over. And I happen to believe her.
Zane relaxes in his seat next to mine and stretches an arm on my seat back. “I’m glad you’ve found your stride, Alexa. And thank you for the apology and the explanation. I really appreciate it.”
Alexa turns to look at me. “I’m so, so very sorry for just showing up here. I know how awkward this is, but you’ve been so kind to let me speak with Zane and feed me dinner. It means a lot that you gave me a chance to apologize.”
“Honestly, I was prepared to not like you,” I tell her bluntly. “We all heard that you ran off with your maid of honor.”
Alexa’s eyes widen. “Liam? My man-of-honor?”
“Yeah, him. The whole theory was that you ditched the wedding with him.”
Alexa shakes her head slowly. “No. In fact, I’m not friends with Liam anymore either.
I hadn’t realized he had feelings for me.
Because two weeks after our wedding date, he asked me out.
” She shudders. “I had thought we were best friends. I honestly didn’t think of him that way at all.
Seriously, if I wasn’t going to marry Zane, then there wasn’t anyone I was going to marry.
At least for now. I’m still scared at the idea of settling down in one place. ”
I glance at Zane, only to find him smiling at me. I smile back, then turn to Alexa. “Maybe someday you’ll find someone you’ll want to build a life with. Someone who wants to live the same life as you. I hope you do.”
Zane rubs his thumb back and forth along the back of my hand. I stare down at our entwined hands and wonder how long he’ll keep pretending to be affectionate—or if this is really what we are now.
After last night’s kiss, I don’t know where we stand.
We stand on the porch.
That’s where.
We watch Alexa pull out of the driveway, and we’re still holding hands even though her car is out of sight.
She stayed another hour, making polite small talk, telling us about her travels for the last few years and profusely apologizing again for hurting Zane.
“I can see why you fell in love with her,” I finally say. “She’s nice.”
“What’s funny is, being around her now, I realize that was what drew me to her.
She’s a genuinely kind person. And I think that’s why, when I was left at the altar, it hurt that much more.
I don’t know that I was in love with her as much as I was in love with the idea of being married to someone I liked being with. ”
“And now you’re stuck with the world’s meanest wife.” I smile up at him. “You’ll have to make do with a second choice.”
I yelp when Zane grabs my arm and pulls me to face him, then bends down to pick me up by my thighs, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist as he settles me on his hips.
I expected his eyes to have a teasing glint, but he looks at me with steel in his eyes.
“I never want to hear you talk down about yourself. Ever. Do you understand me? You are not someone’s second choice.”
I don’t point out the fact that I am, indeed, his second choice, because he doesn’t look like he’s in the mood to argue that specific idea.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I love him. There’s no doubt in my mind. I’m a goner for Zane Madden.
He leans forward and rests his forehead against mine. “Thanks for not leaving me tonight. I liked having you here.”
I could complain about how awkward it was, or I could simply hug my husband.
I choose the latter. I loop my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder.
He adjusts his hold on me so that one arm is holding me up and the other is around my back, pulling me tight against him. I’m cozy as can be.
“I’m sorry I smell like a sheep,” I whisper.
His chuckle reverberates through his chest, and I can practically feel it rumbling in my toes.
“I guess we could both use a shower.”
“Speak for yourself. I’m going to soak my weary bones in a big bubble bath.”
Zane walks toward the house, and I pull back, expecting him to put me down.
He doesn’t. He presses a deep kiss against my lips. With a sigh, I lock my feet behind his back and kiss him like he’s my lifeline.
He carries me through the front door and into the house. Down the hallway, which leads toward our two bedrooms, he walks straight through my room and into the bathroom. Turns out the bathtub is big enough for two.