59. Finding The Way Back #2
This time my knees do give out. I press a series of kisses to the back of her hands, happy beyond measure to find them warm again.
“Fuck, Kitten!” Silas doubles over, his shoulders shuddering with the intensity of his sobs.
Azael presses a hard kiss to her forehead, mumbling something and I spy golden tears on his cheeks.
“Archie, come on! Won’t you shift back? I am not dead.
I didn’t leave you behind. I’m here with you and I’m getting seriously pissed!
” Aleiraah huffs at Archie’s wolf for possibly the hundredth time.
The beast is curled up in a corner of the room he was offered in the Nephilim castle.
We are still staying here since Ispahan wanted us to recuperate fully before leaving for our home.
The wolf has been mentally checked out since Flame woke up a couple of days ago. It’s likely that the idea of losing his mate for the second time broke his mind. I feel sorry for him. We all do. I can only imagine the pain of losing your mate permanently.
The last two days have been interesting.
After we collapsed from the relief of having our mate back, Aleiraah has considerably mellowed toward us. But the distance between our hearts still remains.
I didn’t expect that being her anchor would magically wipe the slate clean but still it hurts.
She studies us when she thinks we don’t notice, like a puzzle she must solve to move on.
It scares me.
Despite everything we've been through, our sins in this life might be too big to forgive.
She hasn’t approached the babies. She watched them from afar, yearning mixed with apprehension, but turned away when Silas brought forward one of the cubs.
It had shocked all of us but I think it broke something permanently inside Silas.
He has been like a wraith ever since. Haunting the passages of the castle. None of us judged her though.
It’s not her fault that her mates are fucking bastards, to the point that we even ruined motherhood for her.
We have been careful around her once she woke up, unsure of how to act, but things came to a head earlier today when I was assigned babysitting duty for Butterball.
I had been entertaining Ispahan’s daughter, releasing pretty butterflies made out of hellflames into the air as the tiny buttermoth clapped her hands excitedly. Aleiraah took a seat near me on the wooden bench by the lake behind castle grounds.
“I'm not as fragile as you all have been treating me for the past two days, you know?" She said in a wry voice drawing a smile from me.
"You are stronger than all of us combined, Flame. In all ways." I drank in her beautiful profile, hungry for even a drop of her attention.
“Tell me what happened after that rancid wh–Raine––” she flicked her gaze at Butterball as I pressed my palms against her tiny ears “––had me abducted from our grounds.” She turned toward the lake where red swans swam about idly. It was a fairly sunny morning.
I told her how we came across an out-of-his-mind Alistair and Azael seething with icy rage.
She regretted that she couldn’t kill Raine herself. She said Vroc made her witness us fighting the goblin army which made her furious, until Butterball fluttered to her and Aleiraah grabbed her midair with a huff.
The Buttermoth’s too trusting in my opinion. Then again, I would trust Flame with my life too.
She listened pensively as I recounted our desperate vigil after Ammit rescued us from Haalbeg, her fingers gently sifting through Butterball’s curls. The tiny darling clearly calmed her.
It was bittersweet seeing her with the buttermoth. Aleiraah would be a fantastic mother, there was no doubt in my mind. Only if she got past what was bothering her. And I know I was to blame…we were to blame, but short of forcing her to cuddle the babies, I didn’t know what options we had.
And none of us would ever force our will upon her. Never again. Not in any way.
She drew in a sharp breath, her expression falling when I told her about Azael’s wings. We still didn’t know the extent of his damages.
Aleiraah shook her head, “All because of one male’s greed for power and that stupid evil book! I wish I could stab Vroc until he turned into mince meat. And rip out the Grimoires pages, tearing them into tiny pieces, then torch it all over again.”
“You did more than any of us could. You saved us all, Flame. Even after everything we did.”
She had looked at me with something unreadable in her expression. “I'd always save you, Rinn. The rest of the seven too. Despite everything that's happened between us. Besides, you all kept me alive. I…I think I was in a place between life and death. And I almost let go.”
My insides had turned cold hearing her say what I had secretly feared.
“No! You can’t ever leave me, Flame!” Desperation had me grabbing her wrists and going down on my knees, making her eyebrows arch in surprise.
“I’m not going anywhere, numbnuts!” She had rolled her eyes and Butterball who had been babbling happily had squealed, “Numnuss!”
Aleiraah gasped, “Look what you made me do! Zenith is going to kill me!” Her pained groan had made Butter giggle but I was still operating on fear and anxiety.
“Promise me, Flame! You’d not let go. No matter what.” I pleaded.
Her face had softened, “I won’t, Rinn. But I’m still coming to terms with a lot of things.
I don’t know if I can forget what happened to me but I do want to forgive for my sake.
It’s hard to live holding onto bitterness.
I saw what it did to Vroc and even though he and I are not cut from the same cloth, I don’t want to end up leading a life filled with anger and regrets. ”
A whine from Archie’s wolf draws me out of my thoughts. Aleiraah has taken a seat on the floor beside him.
She lifts his head onto her lap making his hackles rise. My muscles coil tight, ready to intervene but Aleiraah shakes her head silently. We give them the space they deserve. If anyone can soothe the poor wolf it’s her.
She combs her fingers through his silvery fur, recounting events from the time they had their fling and from their past life, and the growling wolf slowly settles.
After a long while she rests her head on his furry forehead and whispers, her voice thick with tears, “Come back to me, Archie. Please. I’m right here, waiting for you.”
Fur dissolves, giving way to skin. And a sobbing Archie buries his face in Aleiraah’s lap. “I thought I lost you forever, Moon!” He holds her tighter still and the raw anguish in his voice makes my heart twinge.
“You didn’t. Remember our promise from all those years ago?”
He lifts his head, face flushed with tears. “We’re bound.”
“Forever.” Aleiraah whispers with a tremulous smile and Archie lunges, engulfing her in his arms.
I quietly leave the chamber with a bittersweet feeling, happy that we have Archie back, but also knowing that I might never get to hug my Flame in my arms like that.