Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
PHOENIX
Later that night, I sit with my legs crossed on one of the massive cushions inside the conversation pit in Vera’s studio.
A steaming pot of tea is on the low marble table in front of me.
I’m cupping a warm clay mug between my gloved hands.
A thick wool blanket is wrapped tightly around me and yet, it’s not enough.
No matter what I do, I can’t get warm.
The entrance door swings open. Vera’s back. Finally. I don’t wait for her to remove her coat or shoes.
“Did you know that some Ezkai don’t survive the Cleansing?”
My question startles her. She doesn’t expect anyone to be awake at this hour.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“There are only ten of us left after tonight,” I say grimly.
Her eyes widen, lips parting. So, she really has no idea what goes down during the Cleansing.
“I had no idea. I swear. If I had, I would have told you.”
I nod, pursing my lips. I’m not sure I believe her. Daegel knows about it, which means Caligos knows about it. How come Vera, with all her might and power, doesn’t, when she has Taaslord Noire on her side?
I don’t voice my concerns, of course.
Instead, I accuse. “When were you going to tell me that Caligos assassinated the late General, huh? I haven’t heard anyone change the reason of death.”
Vera sighs. “Noire told me. It’s not public knowledge and won’t be. His spies found out about a week ago, after the autopsy and some other procedures were concluded. I have not told you, because I don’t know if I trust you yet with…”
She trails off but I know exactly what she means. She can’t trust me not to run off to Daegel and spill her secrets. I shake my head, too exhausted to muster even an ember of anger at her words.
Vera removes her coat and shoes in silence, which is disturbed by a knock on the door. We exchange a look because it’s awfully late for visitors.
When Vera opens the door, Jax’s frame pops up in the doorway. He lifts two brown paper bags and grins at us. “Good evening, ladies.”
I roll my eyes. That guy again.
Vera doesn’t let him in. “I don’t remember inviting you over.”
“Ah, I thought that after that little heist at the Nobleman Uringi’s place, we’re friends,” he says, glancing over his shoulder. “I brought some food from my favorite place. I thought you girls might want some comfort after tonight’s event.”
Jax bats his eyelashes, all innocent and cute. Vera clicks her tongue. With a sigh, she moves out of the doorway and gestures for him to come in. Happily, he does.
“You better have some grilled zucchini with honey chili sauce for me in there,” Vera says.
Jax walks over to the dining table as if he’s right at home.
“Oh, don’t worry! I have all kinds of grilled veggie dishes.
I even got my chef friend to grill some freshly caught octopus for Phoenix.
Do you know how hard it is to get fish or meat here in Ekios?
” He unpacks the bags and sets the paper boxes on the table.
“Actually, I got every single item on the menu because I wasn’t sure what you’ll like most. I hope you’re both starving. I know I am.”
I glare at him, but my stomach growls, betraying me.
A slow, victorious smile grows on his face and he sits down at the table.
“You better not try to poison Phoenix,” Vera says as she takes a seat.
“I’d never. She’s our most precious asset.”
I join them at the dining table. Jax is serious, it’s a whole damn feast. Vera packs her plate with an assortment of grilled vegetables and a seven-bean stew of some sort. Jax’s plate is full of veggies and grilled sweet potato waffles.
“I’m not an asset. I’m a human,” I mumble.
“While you’re here, care to share anything useful about your master?” Vera asks, casually.
Jax scoops some noodle soup into his mouth and swallows. “He keeps me on a tight leash, and I’m only in his presence when he pleases it, under his rules. I’m not in his inner circle, so don’t have much to report at the moment.”
Vera hums, lost in thought. I glare at Jax with a thrashing heart. I feel like any moment he’ll tell Vera that I told Daegel about Jax’s deal with us. That he got punished for it, and that’s where that bruise came from.
To my surprise, Jax doesn’t say a word. It only makes me trust him less. What sort of game is he playing here?
“Phoenix, what happened tonight?” Vera asks me after a pause. Her voice is gentle. “You said there are only ten participants left?”
With a fork, I move my grilled octopus and vegetables around the plate. I try to find the right words to explain what happened earlier, but every time, I fail.
How can I articulate all that to someone who wasn’t there?
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “One moment we were all there, and then the ritual started…We—I—I don’t know what happened, but the next moment, I open my eyes and they’re gone. Limp bodies floating above the water, with empty white eyes.”
Vera hums. “Water? What kind of water?”
“The Well,” I say. “The Cleansing happened at the Well.”
“Ah,” Vera says. “Of course.”
“Not all the Decarios are worthy in the eyes of the spirits of the gods. But you, Phoenix darling, are.” Jax beams at me. It pisses me off so bad I want to punch him in the throat. “I knew you were the person to root for. You’re just the right woman to be the next winner.”
“I thought so as well. But now I’m not so sure anymore,” I murmur.
I sense the immediate shift in emotions in Vera even though usually I can’t read her. It must be the aftermath of the ritual and being so close to the spirit world. I roll my shoulders, trying to shake it off.
This shouldn’t be happening.
“What do you mean?” Vera’s words are clipped.
“It’s charming how humble you are about your abilities,” Jax says with his mouth full.
I glance between them and shake my head. They don’t get it.
My Decarios training at Wetra, my training at Ezkai Academy…nothing has prepared me to face this.
“I’m not being humble here,” I snap. “I was getting ready for a physical fight, a test of my Decarios skills. I’m a fighter, a soldier, a warrior. That’s what I’m good at and what I trained at. I’m not good at all that mumbo jumbo shit that happened today.”
Vera arches her well-manicured eyebrow, but says nothing.
I throw up my arms. “What?”
Vera exhales dramatically and leans on her elbows. “You know, as a fighter, a soldier, and a warrior, you do complain a lot. Are you sure you’re not mistaken about your true identity? It sounds to me like you’re more of a princess.”
Oh, no she didn’t. Rage bubbles inside me so quick I struggle to breathe.
“Oh, don’t give me that angry look, sweetheart. What, did I hurt your feelings? Not a fan of hearing the truth?”
“I don’t remember asking for your truth,” I say through clenched teeth.
“Oh, my apologies, princess. I can only hope you fight as well as you complain. Otherwise, we’re in great trouble. Should have placed our bets on Daegel, Jaxy.”
I’m stunned to silence. It takes everything in me not to unleash the beast that rages inside me on the world.
“Ouch,” Jax murmurs and purses his lips.
“Maybe you should have. Maybe I chose a wrong patron to help me win,” I say, words laced with venom. Vera doesn’t flinch. “Maybe Caligos would have told me that to expect instead of parading me around for nobles to see.”
The tense silence that settles between us is so thick, you can cut through it with a knife.
“That’s some serious tension right there,” Jax says, breaking the silence. “You two don’t strike me as catfight type of women. Not Vera, for sure. Phoenix, may—”
“Shut up,” Vera and I tell him at the same time.
Jax cackles. That eases some of the tension between us.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix,” Vera says, surprising me. “That you didn’t know what you were going into. Truly. But Val’taz Ezkairin is deadly and unpredictable. I don’t know what you may yet face. That’s why we’re working to get you the mentorship of Oka Oya.”
I nod. Now it makes sense why Kazh agreed to help me if I survive the preparation ceremonies. She knew I may end up as one of the dead Ezkai.
“Ah! Now that you mention Oka Oya, I remember something I wanted to tell you,” Jax says once we resume eating.
He’s got Vera’s full attention. “Go ahead.”
“Daegel heard you went to Oka Oya,” he says. “He asked me if that was true and whether or not Oka Oya agreed to help you.”
Why didn’t Daegel ask me himself?
I narrow my eyes at him. “And? What did you say?”
“I told him that Oka Oya agreed,” Jax says and takes another bite of the waffle. “He didn’t like it that much.”
“I bet,” Vera says, pleased with herself. “Did he give you an order?”
Jax nods. “Ah, yes. He told me to keep an eye on you. To get as close as I can to Phoenix.”
My heart sinks. It’s hard to believe everything Jax says about Daegel. My Daegel.
“I told him I’m well on my way to making you fall in love with me, Phoenix darling,” Jax says and flashes me a smile. “Once you’re all infatuated, I told him I’ll have you out of these trials in no time.”
Is he joking? He must be joking.
Daegel would have his head for even daring to look at me in a romantic way. He couldn’t stand Roman being so close to me, and Roman didn’t even like women!
Sharp pain piercing my chest. Ah, Roman…I wish he was here for this with me.
Jax must be joking. No way would Daegel approve of this plan, even if it helped push me out of the trials. Or would he?
I snort. “Keep dreaming, asshole.”
“Calm down,” Vera says. “I can already see the damn steam coming out of your ears. Eat your food before I have to force-feed you. The Starless Night is in three days and after that, you’ll start your training with Oka Oya. You’ll need all your strength for that.”
I don’t appreciate being scolded, but I do polish off my plate. Vera’s right. The important part of that rial is about to start and I need to be ready.
I barely get any sleep that night.
When the first rays of sun break through the horizon, I growl into my pillow. I’m cold all the way to the marrow of my bones. Three blankets piled on top of me don’t help.
Maybe a hot bath will.
I roll out of bed and make my way into my private bathroom. A tired version of myself greets me in the vanity mirror. My cheeks are just as sunken as they were when I first arrived in Ekios.
Quickly, I fill the copper bathtub with water as hot as I can get it. The first contact with the steaming water sends pain shooting up my leg, but it only lasts a couple of seconds. I welcome the scorching sensation as I lower myself into the bath.
My skin turns red in front of my eyes, and I start to sweat. Yet…the seeping cold deep inside my chest lingers.
I rub my face with my hands. “Fuck.”
I have no clue what’s happening to me or how to fix it. If I tell Vera, she’ll ask questions, and then I’ll have to give her answers I don’t want to reveal.
Maybe I just need a couple of days to let this pass. It must be the aftershock from what I’ve witnessed. Hopefully it’ll go away.
With a long sigh, I lean back and stretch my legs. I want to relax, but it’s impossible. Too many things plague my mind, and I’m tired from not getting enough sleep.
An incredibly stupid idea crosses my mind. There is only one other person I know who understands what I’m going through right now. One whose comfort my soul craves, even if we’re enemies.
I drag myself out of the bathtub and get ready.