Chapter 56
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
PHOENIX
“What the hell happened?!”
I can’t see Vera’s face, but from the tone of her voice it’s clear she’s furious.
I purse my lips and shrug my shoulders. “Once again—I don’t remember. The memories of that trial…they’re all hazy, covered in dark mist. They’re there, but I can’t access them.” I tap my left temple. “I know I passed it, but I have no idea how or why I can’t fucking see.”
I hug myself to stop the tremble of my muscles. Inside my mind there is a black hole as deep as the ocean. It’s so disorienting to not remember a whole fucking night.
Yet, I’m certain I have passed the Trial of Truth.
“Your eyes…” Jax trails off. I whip my head to the side where his voice comes from. “Your eyes are all white. No pupils.”
“Oh dear gods,” I whisper, touching my face. “What the fuck.”
The skin in the valley between my breasts burns. It has been burning all this time, but only now my mind registers the pain.
“It burns here,” I say, looking down as if I could fucking see it. “My skin burns.”
With trembling hands, I find the buttons of the linen sleeping shirt I wear and I undo them. Someone in the room gasps.
“What is it?” I look around.
“A new tattoo,” Jax says. “A very nice piece of work, I must say. I would love to know the name of the artist.”
There’s humor in his voice, but I’m not fooled. My senses are raw after the trial, and I feel the cool fear coming off in waves from him without even trying to read him.
“A tattoo?” I brush the burning skin, but feel nothing. “Tell me what kind of tattoo, for fuck’s sake!”
“It’s a black coiled snake,” Vera says in a calm voice. “Its eyes…glimmer when it catches the light. I assume you didn’t get inked before you went into the trial?”
“Yeah, no shit,” I deadpan.
There’s a knock on the door, and a moment later it opens. I turn my head towards the sound.
“Vera, Master Oka Oya is—”
Tanaka’s sweet voice is interrupted by Kazh. “Move out of the way, you walking fuck doll. I’m here. I came to see the fucking damage.”
I want to recoil inside and hide. No way I can face Kazh’s wrath in this state. Not right now. Not after the way we left things…
Of course I have no other choice but to face her. So, I lift my chin and wait for her to whip me with her words.
After a long silence, she says, “You passed the Trial of Truth.”
“I guess so.”
Kazh offers me no comfort. Not that I expect it, anyway.
“I would say congratulations, but I see you carry the mark of Lorca.”
I swallow. “Lorca? The tattoo is a mark of Lorca? Who’s Lorca?”
“Oh, no,” Vera sighs.
My head snaps to her direction. “What do you mean ‘oh, no’?”
That doesn’t sound good.
“During the Trial of Truth, every participant faces Lorca, the trickster god. They judge whether or not the champions are worthy to ascend to the next level,” Kazh says. “Carrying their mark means you’ve been punished, dipshit. You don’t remember, or are you lying?”
That sounds really, really bad. If I was punished by a trickster god, and don’t remember…
My chin dips, cheeks burning with shame.
“I’m not lying,” I snap. “I don’t recall anything that took place during the second trial.”
“Is memory loss and blindness part of the trial or the punishment?” Vera’s impatient. “Lorca’s the worst possible god to face.”
“There are worse spirits of the gods,” Kazh says. “Memory loss and blindness is related to the punishment. She’s got a lesson to learn, if I had to guess.”
I cock my head to the side. A lesson? I try to push through the dark mist that clouds part of my memories, but it only gives me a headache.
“How’s she going to train in this condition?” It’s Jax’s voice.
Kazh snorts. “Train? This arrogant brat won’t train shit. It’s over for you, dipshit. The Trial of Strength may happen anytime now. If you go in the state you are in, you’re doomed.”
“Can you shoot an arrow without seeing the target?” Jax asks.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I can,” I snap at him. “I’m a Phantom fucking Ranger.”
The silence that settles in the room is charged with tension.
I swallow and brace myself. “You won’t train me anymore?”
“I won’t. Not until you learn a lesson even a trickster god wants you to learn,” Kazh spits. “And if you don’t, well…may it be your punishment. You should grovel at Vera’s feet for choosing you as her champion, even though you didn’t deserve it and failed her in the end.”
I swallow the rage and shame that rises inside me. I deserve the verbal lashing, and much more. Yet, I still hate it. I might be exhausted and defeated, but my pride is still very much alive and well.
“Oka Oya, please,” Vera says. “If you don’t want to train her, then at least give us a clue on how to help her learn the lesson. I refuse to give up.”
“How many champions survived the second trial?” I ask.
“Half,” Kazh says.
I bite the inside of my cheek.
I hear the door open. It’s Kazh’s voice. “You better find a way to face your fate and deal with the consequences of your actions before it’s too late.”