Chapter 45 #2
‘There are two things on my mind and Ned’s one of them.
I think I should tell him how I feel. When I told you what happened, you said What if he didn’t regret it?
What if he just needed a moment to gather his bearings?
You said it again the other night and it’s kept nudging at me ever since.
What if you were right? I need to ask him.
It could be the most awkward, embarrassing conversation of my life, but it could be the best one I ever have, so I’ve got to give it a try, haven’t I? ’
‘Absolutely. I think it’ll be the best conversation – I really do. But if he isn’t on the same page as you, I don’t think he’ll make it awkward. This is Ned we’re talking about. He’s like a big cuddly teddy bear, oozing with kindness. You wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if he wasn’t kind.’
She squeezed my arm. ‘Could you invite him here like you suggested? Next weekend maybe?’
Jude would have originally been going home tomorrow but we’d already agreed that she’d stay for at least another week.
‘I’ll ring him tonight,’ I said. ‘What’s the other thing on your mind?’
‘It affects you and it’s a biggie.’
Dougal’s mam, Mooana, appeared so I gave her some attention while Jude continued fussing the two young ones.
‘I’ve made no secret about how much I love this place,’ Jude said.
‘I loved Silvervale but that was because of the horses and the chance to work with you. The setting was pretty but it was nothing compared to what you’ve got here.
This is spectacular and it’s not just the surroundings – it’s the feel of the farm too.
I can’t think of any other place where I’ve felt so calm and inspired.
Being here for the past fortnight and helping with the animals and customers has spoilt me for all other jobs. ’
She put her hands out, palms up, as though they were weighing scales.
‘Any other job in Berkshire,’ she said, nodding towards her left hand as she dipped it down.
‘Hazelwick Farm.’ She raised her right hand high in the air before holding both hands on a level again.
‘I can’t go back, Grace. You’ve joked before that I could have a job here in a flash if you had the money.
I know it’s going to take the business a long time before it turns a profit and that it’s too big a financial risk to take on another horse expert, but what if I took that financial risk away?
What if I sold my house and became an investor? ’
‘An investor? Are you serious?’
‘Deadly serious. I have no idea how much your cow starter pack cost but I don’t imagine it was cheap and I know you’ve had other expenses you didn’t originally plan for plus the shock news that the Garstangs had run the business into the ground.
Your financial burden would be so much less if you had a third partner helping foot the bill.
’ She bit her lip. ‘Told you it was a biggie but this is me grabbing life by the horns. I’ll stop talking now. Shoot!’
Today had been filled with one surprise after another and this latest one had rendered me speechless.
Mam and I were desperate to have Jude on board but bringing her in as an investor hadn’t crossed our minds.
The extra money, skills and pair of hands could do wonders for the business and couldn’t be better timed.
‘Should I be worried about the silence?’ Jude asked.
‘Gosh, no! I’m just shocked but good shocked. I’d love it. Obviously it’s not just my decision but we’ve been a great team so far, Mam loves you being here and I know we work really well together so having you as a partner would be incredible.’
‘Phew! Cos that could have been awkward.’
As I hugged her, I sent a thank you to the farm for working its magic once more.
I’d asked and it had answered yet again in the most unexpected way.
My throat had tightened every time I thought about Jude going home and living so very far away from me and, assuming Mam accepted – and I couldn’t imagine her not doing so – my best friend would be able to stay indefinitely.
‘How would you living here fit with you and Ned?’ I asked as we said goodbye to the fold and set off back across the farm. ‘I know you said he wants to leave London but do you think he’d be willing to consider Northumberland?’
‘If he can find a home-based job, he could be based anywhere and he did say he was more drawn to the countryside these days.’ She clapped her hands to her cheeks. ‘Will you listen to me? I already have us moving in together when I have no idea how he feels about me.’
‘I think you need to ask the farm to make him love you. It’s delivered everything I’ve requested.’
‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about but I’m intrigued.’
I shared Caleb’s comments about the farm being magical and delivering what he needed, and how I’d also got what I’d asked for.
As I spoke, I kept picturing Caleb’s face, feeling his arms around me as we’d hugged earlier and I knew that I had to take life by the horns too and tell him how I was feeling.
Opening up to people could be hard, as Adrian and Laurie had proved but, my goodness, it could be rewarding when you did.
Jude had told me that she’d put her feelings for Ned in a box marked what’s the worst thing that could have happened? And she’d regretted it.
‘I’ve been thinking of your life mantra,’ I said. ‘If you want something, you have to go for it. Don’t let the worst-case scenario stop you. I’m glad you’re finally taking your own advice with Ned.’
‘So am I, but you need to take it too. Tell Caleb how you feel. What’s the worst thing that can happen? He says no, you have a laugh about it and you move on. But the best-case scenario is that he feels the same and you move on with him. I’d say that’s worth it, wouldn’t you?’
‘I would.’
‘Good, so we’re both going to put our big girls’ pants on and tell the men in our lives how we feel about them? Although I’m already wearing mine – needed them to ask you about being your business partner.’
‘Am I really that scary?’
‘Of course not! But the worst-case scenario was that you’d tell me this was about family and I’ve no right to impose. Obviously you’d never have worded it that bluntly but it was a possible outcome. Still is.’
‘Ah, but the thing is, you are family and I know Mam and Maddie feel the same way. I can’t imagine them saying no. You belong here, Jude. I think Ross Langley calling you June and trying to tell you how to use a rake might turn out to be the best thing to happen to us all.’