Chapter 9 #3
On our way back, I made sure to walk at least an arm’s length away.
It seemed like every time I got close to him, I ended up saying way more than I meant to.
Why did he slip through my defenses so easily?
I couldn’t pretend I didn’t have any feelings for him.
I could feel them trying to put down roots and grow.
Griz and Sam stood in front of the clinic arguing about something, and I’d never been so glad to see them. They immediately pulled Trey into the argument, and I slipped back into the clinic.
Don’t—Wolf started.
I know, I interrupted. I know.
—
Juck’s grip on my jaw tightened.
“You belong to me,” he hissed, spittle hitting my face. “All of you.”
“Juck, please!” I choked on sobs. “I’m sorry—”
The blow caught me across the face, and I fell back onto his bed with a cry. He loomed over me, crawling over my body to press a kiss on my neck. He still wore his bloodstained clothes.
“Gods, Angel, you make me so crazy,” he murmured against my skin.
With every word, my body stiffened more. He’d never spoken to me or touched me like this before, but I’d never seen him this angry before, either. His hand slid up under my shirt, and I started to panic.
“Juck, stop,” I sobbed, trying to push him off.
“Did you beg him to stop?” he snarled in my ear. “Tell me you didn’t fuck him.”
I couldn’t manage to get any words out, my breath coming fast and panicked. I shoved harder against him, but he didn’t move. Wolf’s training suddenly kicked in, and I balled up my fist and punched him in the side, aiming for his kidney.
Juck grunted in pain. He half rolled off me and I tried to scramble out from under him, but he lunged and wrestled me back. This time he pinned my arms under his knees as he straddled me. The look on his face flooded me with pure terror.
“I spent years protectin’ you, keepin’ you safe and cared for, and this is how you thank me?”
“Juck, please!” I begged.
“The gods sent you to me, Angel. You are mine to wield how I see fit, you hear me?”
“I’m sorry! Please don’t—”
He hit me across the face again and I gasped, stars exploding across my vision. As I struggled to focus, I felt him yanking my pants down my thighs, and I started screaming—
“Bones!”
I shot upright, panting in the darkness.
“It’s alright, Bones. You’re in the clinic. You’re safe.”
“Trey?” I asked shakily, still stuck in the nightmare.
“I’m right here.” The mattress dipped as he sat next to me.
I reached out blindly until I touched his bare shoulder. I planned to retreat as soon as I figured out where he sat, but I couldn’t seem to pull away. His hand found mine and squeezed, his warmth seeping into me.
“I’m here,” he murmured. “You’re safe.”
A strangled sob escaped my lips. I leaned forward until my head rested on his arm and he went still. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but I so desperately wanted to be comforted.
After about a minute, he let go of my hand to brush my tangled hair from my face. His fingers moved gently against my skin. I wasn’t sure what it said about me that I found it so much easier to be close to someone like this in the dark. He wiped the tears that trailed down my face with his thumb.
“You’re safe,” he murmured again. “Juck’s not here. He’s dead. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I did feel safe with him here, and that knowledge didn’t scare me as much as I knew it should.
He moved away, and I almost begged him not to go before I realized he was shifting to sit beside me.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I immediately curled into him.
We sat that way for a long time before my tears finally eased, but I was struck by the realization that I didn’t want him to go back to his own bed.
His gentle, comforting touch was like a drug, and I wanted more.
I fought with myself for a while, but my defenses crumbled down, brick by brick.
It wasn’t long before I gave up and started to lie back.
He immediately dropped his arm, but I caught his hand and tugged gently, trying to pull him down with me. He seemed to hesitate.
“Bones, you sure this is okay?” he asked. “You’re awake, right?”
“I’m awake,” I said, my voice hoarse.
I tugged on him again and this time he came with me. I scooted over, giving him room to slide in next to me. He still seemed cautious, even once he lay beside me, so I went ahead and curled into his chest. His arms came around me slowly, as though testing the moment.
“Promise you’ll tell me if you want me to go back to my own bed?” Trey murmured.
“I don’t want you to go back to your own bed,” I said into his chest, enjoying the feel of his warm skin against my face.
He huffed a quiet laugh and finally pulled me closer. “Alright. I’m not arguing.”
Cradled against him, the horror of my nightmare—my memory—began to fade.
I closed my eyes and listened to his heart thundering in his chest. I waited for him to start pushing for more.
I waited for his hands to start wandering.
I waited for him to take what he wanted.
Even after his heart slowed and his breath evened out in sleep, I still waited.
I fell asleep waiting for him to turn into every other man I’d known.