Enslee
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
SIX MONTHS LATER
Today had been an absolute whirlwind, not that the last six months of my life hadn't been since I’d made things unofficially official with Declan and Brogan.
Giving up the nomadic lifestyle, I moved to New York City after being offered a position at Harte Media.
It’d been a dream come true because it was what I’d wanted to go to college for.
It seemed like everything I’d once dreamed about, I now had.
Despite that, I’d never fully drop Killer Thoughtz.
Instead of driving across the country, I limited the number of visits I did per month, and I’d fly out to them and back.
Sometimes one of the men, or even both of them, would join me, but sometimes I’d go alone. It was all good, though.
I have someone to come home to.
I have somewhere to go back to.
We'd mainly been staying between Declan’s Staten Island home, which had been the first place I’d ever known with these men, and Brogan's penthouse because it provided more privacy for us all. After tonight, though, it wouldn’t matter because my entire life would change in a few short hours.
At least publicly it would. Behind closed doors, nothing would change.
If I wanted this to go as perfectly as planned, I needed to do my part.
After signing off on my latest article, I was now glad Jenni had arranged for a hairdresser and makeup artist. They were already at the penthouse Brogan owned in Los Angeles.
It was crazy even thinking that. From mansions to penthouses, it was a huge jump from the two-bedroom home I'd grown up in and especially the van I'd been in for years.
I never let the luxury or grandeur of these places get to me, though.
A lot of people would say deep down that they felt like they were the same person, but I was the same person.
I'd never sacrificed my values or my integrity.
The only difference was that I sometimes wore nicer clothes and stayed in fancier places.
I also now had the love of two great men.
Almost a year ago, I'd gone to New York City hoping to score what I’d thought would be the interview of a lifetime.
While I didn't get that, I got something much better.
It hadn't been without its share of troubles, and there were still things that’d come up from time to time, but none were insurmountable.
And to be honest, I actually liked irritating the men on occasion.
There was something craveable about angry sex, especially when with both men.
“Do you have your dress and everything else?” I heard Jenni ask from the other room.
“Yes. Do you think I should go ahead and go get into it now?”
All this pampering and fussing over my appearance was still new to me.
I was a simple girl who was more comfortable in everyday attire than fancy gowns.
Hell, I even recorded my podcasts in jeans and a sweatshirt.
This was a very important night, not only for Declan, who was up for three different Primetime Emmy Awards, but for Brogan and me because tonight everything would be official.
We had it all planned out, and each time I expressed my concerns over my part in all of this, the men fuck the insecurity out of me.
They’d made me believe I was not only beautiful, but I was worthy and deserving of every good thing in my life. They made me believe I was deserving of them. And maybe it’d been the incessant fucking, or the genuine sincerity they’d expressed, but I found myself believing it.
“You should put it on right away. You’re going to be so gorgeous,” Jenni said.
I walked into the bedroom and could already see their tuxedos hanging over the footboard bench while my blue gown was laid out across the California King bed.
“Do you really think it's fancy enough?”
I’d spent hours trying to find the perfect dress, and I shook my head as those memories came rushing back.
Being the procrastinator I was, I waited until the last minute because deep down, I’d been expecting them to change their mind about my attendance.
There was no reason for the men to keep their love hidden because they’d been together for years, while I’d only been dating them for six months.
I hadn't even known them a complete year yet, but they'd wanted me to attend, and I would deny them nothing.
It forced me to hit up Rodeo Drive. All girls had watched Pretty Woman at one time or another, so I knew that was where everyone in Beverly Hills went shopping.
When out, I'd been surprised that a few people recognized me from my podcast. Sometimes I forgot that I had millions of followers and had made a pretty decent living doing what I did before these men. It was so easy to minimize my own accomplishment next to either of them because everything of theirs was on a grander scale. Their words about belonging to them would come rushing back, and I’d force myself to believe they were right.
At times, though, I still felt like that scandalous child in a small Alabama town.
Julia Roberts had gotten her prince, and my getting two princes had to be what I’d earned for all my previous pain and suffering.
I wanted to make them proud, and maybe even a bit turned on, so I’d spent an entire afternoon shopping for the perfect dress.
And I’d succeeded the moment I laid my eyes on this cobalt dress.
I just hoped the men approved. I'd also made sure it would be easy to remove because I had a feeling by the time the award ceremony was over, another performance worth celebrating would happen in the privacy of our bedroom.
I felt a specific ache between my thighs, and the last thing I needed to do was get turned on.
I needed to focus. Tonight was about stepping out of the shadows and into the spotlight.
It was about being there, not only for the men that loved me, but for the men I loved, and more importantly, the men that loved each other.
Their official coming would be a huge moment for them, and something neither would’ve ever thought possible a year ago.
And that’d been before I'd even entered the picture.
Declan and Brogan had been together romantically for their entire adult lives so far, and now they'd finally be able to show the entire world what I already knew. They were deeply, utterly, and completely in love.
“You're smiling. What are you thinking about?” Jenni asked.
“I'm thinking about how elated I am about everything that's going to happen tonight.”
“I'm so excited for Declan. I know he's won a few Emmys before, but winning one for this show would be the icing on the cake,” Jenni replied. She was talking about the awards, which I’m sure did mean something to Declan, but it hadn’t been what I was referring to.
As if she suspected as much, she arched her brow. “What were you talking about?”
“I was talking about their coming out. Declan and Brogan—”
“Oh, that. I forget sometimes because I've never not known them together. It's just another day for me, but I can see how this will be a big night for them. Paige and Cindy are going to have their work cut out for them after the announcement.”
“Love is love,” I said.
“Absolutely, and the more the merrier too, huh?” She nudged me with her elbow and gave me a wink. “And for the record, although I’d lied to you initially and carried on their pretenses, I’d hoped that one day it’d become real. It’s why I’m over the moon that it has for you.”
“Thank you,” I said as tears sprang to my eyes.
She noticed them. “No, no, no. Don't do that,” she said, dabbing at my eyes with a piece of fabric lying nearby.
“No crying because this is a happy night for everyone.” When I nodded in agreement, she smiled broadly.
“Let's get you in this dress, so you can finish getting ready.
Once they make you even more gorgeous than you already are, you'll definitely not be able to cry.”
I grabbed the dress and walked into the bathroom.
A few minutes later, I emerged in it, and even the feeling of the material against my flesh felt foreign.
I wore dresses occasionally, especially because I knew the men liked them, especially after the polka-dotted one that night in La Jolla.
So it wasn’t the dressing up part, but it had everything to do with how revealing it truly was.
“Look at how sexy you look. The men are gonna lose their shit.”
I let out a small laugh. “I just hope I don't do something embarrassing like trip and fall flat on my face.”
“The dress won’t feel so long once you put your heels on.”
That was another thing. I wasn't used to walking in heels, at least not for far distances.
I mean, I walked up their driveway that one night, but it had been gingerly at best. Knowing what tonight entailed, I'd been practicing for the last month. Maybe even longer. Ever since the men told me what they’d intended to do tonight, I knew I needed to make this night perfect for Declan.
I couldn't embarrass him, or take the spotlight away from him and Brogan, who deserved to have it shone on them and their love.
“Your heels are absolutely gorgeous. I admit I was wrong telling you to go with the Jimmy Choos, because these Louboutins are chef's kiss.
You're going to drive those men feral when they see your long legs and these heels through that slit.
I'll make myself scarce tomorrow because I doubt either man will let you out of their bed once they get you in it tonight.”