26. Foster
FOSTER
The movement of the marbles on my Newton’s Cradle gives me a point of focus on while I sit behind my desk, completely unproductive.
The last few days have been packed with meetings as we try to find a way to end the investigation.
It was an anonymous complaint, so we can’t identify the source.
We have doubts if it was Celeste, but Sutton’s inkling is that it’s not her.
Hayes and Julian have gone to bat to defuse the situation, and Olivia has her hands tied when it comes to a work matter such as this.
Sutton is miserable, and I’m worried about the toll that stress has taken on her.
It all started with my mistake, which will be a lifetime of reflection and guilt.
It’s been an avalanche since, and Sutton is pregnant, which only raises the concern to a new peak.
We’re sharing a bed again, but I’m not yet confident whether it has to do with us or with her needing comfort about the feeling of career doom and she doesn’t want to be alone.
Either way, I’ll watch her sleep all the same.
She’s been allowed to continue to work, but only on very limited contracts. Certainly nothing that comes remotely close to me. Her fear of professional downfall is coming alive.
The slight sound of a knock snaps me out of my daze, and I see Easton enter my office. His tiny smile is full of pity.
“I wish I could help more,” he says as he takes a seat.
I wave him off. “Your marketing is not much use in this situation.”
“Still, I could give a character recommendation or…”
Shaking my head, I appreciate his support, but it’s not me who needs saving.
“I’m part of the problem, but not the one with the most to lose.
I could get a slap on the wrist, but I’m not the one who risks the bar association.
Sutton does if the review doesn’t come up in her favor.
As for me, I’m the one who is causing this. If she and I never…”
Easton snickers a sound of disapproval. “Don’t even think that. You have a wife and a kid on the way, and it wouldn’t have happened without taking the step with her.”
“I wish I had a way to make this easier for her. For fuck’s sake, the baby will be here in only a few weeks, and this is the bullshit she has to deal with.
Every time I see her struggle, my chest tightens with anger and helplessness.
If I ever find out who has put my wife in this position, then I swear I will find a way to ruin them.
” I grind out my complete hate for who it could be.
He brushes a piece of lint off his sweater arm. “I’m not sure you can do anything about the office situation except trust the process. As for other personal issues, then find a way to solve that now. Something to ease her stress. Take one block away, you know?”
I’m listening, and it triggers a flurry of ideas in my head. “You make it sound so simple. Maybe I need to step back for a hot minute.”
Easton shrugs as he stands. “Get out of the office, Foster. I’m not sure you will think clearly here, surrounded by reminders of current work hell, and I doubt that at home with a crying Sutton will be much better.”
My nose tips up in acknowledgment of his advice.
When he’s at the door, he gives me a comforting half-smile. “Listen to me for once.”
I haven’t been in my mother’s rose garden for a few months.
My dad has someone take care of it so there is a rose in bloom year-round, even if only one.
Leaning against the trellis arch, I take a long inhale of the fresh air and run through ideas in my head.
There is one, and I keep circling back to it.
“You look like shit. Did you and Sutton not make up yet?” Patrick must have stopped by to see my dad, as he does a few afternoons a week.
I'm too numb to even feel agitated by him anymore; our last talk left me cold, and every ounce of my emotion is now fiercely guarded for my wife alone.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” I admit. There is no need to clue him in on the current predicaments of my life.
To my surprise, he doesn’t press. Instead, he only hums a sound and looks at the same lone light pink rose as I do.
“Hey, since you’re here, can I ask you something? I’m not sure why it didn’t come to me earlier.” Then again, I’ve lacked judgment a few times recently.
“What?”
Turning to him, I decide to go for it. “We’ll get to keep the two percent no matter what, but what if I give you and dad my shares, as well?”
He scoffs. “Why would you do that?”
“Wouldn’t you want it?” I’m positive he would be thrilled to have a larger stake.
The smug smirk is too knowing. “Foster, you’ve kept it all along because of Mom. You wouldn’t want to lose that connection.”
“My wife is more important. I want to show her that I don’t need any connections to the company, no more problems.”
He shakes his head gingerly and sighs. “Look, I wouldn’t complain if you gave us more. Hell, I would celebrate. But when the fog clears, you’d regret it. Then we’ll only piss each other off more. You won’t be able to escape the fact that your kid saved the company. That’s a constant reminder.”
I rub the back of my neck, the day beating me up to a pulp. I’m exhausted, but I have to stay strong for Sutton. My desperation has me studying everything from every angle, and I’m getting even more desperate if that is even possible.
“Think about what it would entail.” I attempt to keep the option on the table.
“Fine. But now that you’ve offered, don’t think I will let it go, either.” That I was already assuming, it’s his genuine care in his tone that I find new.
Taking a few steps forward, I snap the rose from the bush.
“Eeks.” He grimaces. “I don’t give roses to women, but I’m positive you just ruined the bush in some way, and the gardener is going to be pissed off.”
Glancing down, I check the rose. “Who the fuck cares?”
Sutton plays with the rose that I left on the kitchen counter. She’s in a melancholy mood, but better than yesterday.
“So yeah, that was my day. Boring contracts for marketing that I have to have checked twice,” she explains.
Leaning over the counter, my arms rest along the cool surface. “It will be solved soon,” I assure her.
Lovingly, she looks down at her belly, which she circles with her hand. “Better be. This guy will be arriving soon.”
The way she does that movement always causes the corners of my mouth to tug. I give us a few moments of quiet before I broach the next subject. “Hey, Sutton.”
“Yeah?”
Swallowing, I hate my own voice. It reminds us of when things began to spiral. “You’re going through a lot. I can’t influence work, except to have others try their best to help.
But with the pain I’ve caused you, I want to do something to ease it.”
“I think we’ve moved past it. Just need a little time.” She frowns.
“Still… I want to show you my family’s company means nothing to me. You’re more important. I need you to trust that. I want you to know my intentions are true. I’ve asked my brother to take all my shares and end my connection to Roth Real Estate.”
She takes a sharp breath. “You would do that?”
I step away from the island and slowly walk to her and collect her hands in mine. “Anything for you.”
Immediately, she shakes her head. “Don’t do it. Wait for the fog to lift. Everything is a mess. Rash decisions won’t help right now.”
I click my tongue. “I’m not sure you’re right. Something needs to be done to take some stress from you, and I’ll do anything to make that happen.”
Her lips press, and she squeezes my hands. “Don’t do it for me. All I want is business decisions that have no implications for us. The baby clause was enough for a lifetime.”
My eyes dip low as I soak in her opinion. All that my mind spins is how truly amazing she is. It’s a dark moment in time, yet she thinks of the future and protecting me.
My hands set on her belly as I lower to my knees, knowing that the life we created is waiting for us. “Your mom is strong, you know. We’re the luckiest to have her.” Kissing her belly, she strokes a hand through my hair.
“Your daddy is alright. He’s trying,” she jokes. “But a secret between you and me…” her voice grows delicate, “I still love him.”
My eyes zip up to meet her gaze, a part of me finally bursting with relief.
“Then, little boy, I’m pretty damn lucky.”
“Time, Foster,” she reminds me. “The numbness is fading.”
And I’m clinging to that notion so tight that it could still shatter.