31. WINTER
WINTER
I’m packingmy clothes into my suitcase when I hear my phone chime with an incoming text. AfterMason left a few days ago and I had that talk with Adelaide plus another with my therapist, I’ve done nothing but think since then.
I’vethought about all the things that happened between Mason and I, then of all the things I want for my future. WhenI think about said future, I don’t see him out of it. I see him right there with me.
WhenI think about it, all this holding back is just putting strain on our relationship and keeping us from moving forward. So, I came to the conclusion that I need to fully forgive him and let it go if I want us to have the future we’ve always talked about.
Iknow that he’s been trying plus he’s been catering to my every need, mine more than his own from the moment they all rescued me. So, I need to stop punishing the both of us with my actions because being away from him hurts me just as much as I know it hurts him and I don’t want that for us anymore.
Mytherapist also said that there still might be days where I feel like I hate him or might be mad at him, but that’s normal. Everyone feels some type of anger when it comes to thinking about their past but I can’t live there forever or I’ll never be able to enjoy my future the way I should. IfI keep holding back, I won’t get to do the things I want, or find and enjoy new experiences. I find that now that I’m pregnant, I want the opportunity to do things for and with my babies.
Iwant to experience things with them and live a beautiful life with their father. I’ve been ruminating for far too long, stuck inside my head with what-ifs. I mean, Alister, Emilia, and Antonio are all dead so I no longer have to worry about any of them coming after me again. Plus, now I have more people in my corner who will protect me. There’sGrayson, my dad, my brother, and even Adelaide and the guys.
I’mwilling to give Mason the second chance he deserves, but that’s the only one he’s getting, since I do have my children to think about. If he ever does any off-colored shit again, then that’s going to be it for us. But he does deserve that second chance first.
Iguess it’s finally time for me to stop hiding, stop running and finally take the bull by its horns. And that is why I’m packing to head home early. I’m finally going to be in control of my life again and that feeling really is liberating.
Iwalk over to the table and pick my phone up, checking my messages. It’s a text from Mason and when I open it, I see he’s sent me a video. I open it and begin to watch.
“Hey baby…” he starts and stops to compose himself. Tears begin to stream down his face before he continues. I collapse on the couch because suddenly I don’t feel so good. My stomach flutters as he begins to speak again. “I don’t know what to say. I had a whole long speech planned out but fuck if I can remember any of it right now. I’m making this for you and it’s going to be live too, I don’t care if people are going to see me make a fool of myself. AllI really care about is making you see how sorry I am for all the things I said and did. I’m not going to go into details but you know what I’m talking about. I just needed to make a public apology to show you how much I care and how much you deserve this. AndI’m mostly making this because I want you to know that it will always be you, baby. No one else. IfI had more time, I’d choose you without exception, again and again for the rest of our lives. Rather, I did choose you for the rest of mine. AfterI left you in London, I spent a lot of time thinking… I know you’ll never forgive me and I thought I could live like that but the truth is I can’t. So, I’m choosing myself this time. I’m going to do what’s best for everyone and that’s to prove that I’m not a monster. At least, I never meant to be. You’re legally my wife so everything I own was split between Grayson, you and our baby. I don’t even care what you say, it’s our baby. I guess this is goodbye then, I really should go. I love you so fucking much baby! Forever. BeforeI forget, Hunter you’re an asshole. Gray, you’re the best brother a guy could have asked for. You both are annoying but I love you and I’m sorry but I just can’t be here anymore. Nate, Royce and Beck, I love you guys. Thanks for always being there when I needed you.”
Thevideo cuts off after that and I instantly start panicking, while sobs burst out of me. In the middle of watching the video I had another message from him. WhenI check that one, I see it’s a link and clicking on it I see that his video is live.
Idon’t like the way he just said goodbye because it felt kind of final. I look at the video again for clues and notice the wall behind him is in the apartment. I quickly dial Hunter and when he picks up, I’m sobbing so hard I can barely get the words out…
* * *
Grayson
“Hey,man, what’s wrong? You look like something’s bothering you,” Hunter says from the couch across from me. We’re in the den again playing video games, but my mind can’t seem to focus on it.
There’sjust this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that started right after my brother went out and it hasn’t left me since. The way he looked at me when he left earlier put me on edge, though I can’t put my finger on it as to why.
“I-I don’t know. I just have this weird feeling.”
“What kind of weird feeling?”
“Like something terrible is about to happen and I just can’t seem to get rid of it.”
“I’m sure everything is going to be fine,” Hunt says, trying to sound positive. I want to believe him, but my gut is never wrong.
“Do you think Mase’s been gone for too long already?” I ask and Hunter looks at his watch.
“He’s only been gone for like an hour and a half. I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Why, are you worried about him?”
“Yeah, I don’t know but something has been off with him the last few days.”
“Now that you mention it, I was kind of wondering the same thing. It’s like he was trying too hard too to make us think that he was happy or some shit…” Hunter says in thought.
“I think we should go look for him.”
“Yeah, let’s just go drive around for a bit.”
“Let’s go then.”
Weboth quickly get to our feet but before we can actually get moving Hunter’s phone rings and he quickly answers it.
“Winter? Wait. Wait! I can’t hear a thing you’re saying, sis,” he says into the phone before pulling it away from his ear and putting it on speaker. All we hear is her sobbing and can barely make out a word of what she’s saying. “Come on, sis! Calm down a little and tell me what’s wrong.”
“Get to my apartment downtown now!” she yells into the phone still crying. “Mason is there and I think he’s going to hurt himself! Get an ambulance there as fast as you can!”
Myskin is covered with goosebumps at her words. Hunter curses, telling her that he’ll call back later as we sprint for the door. He calls the ambulance as we run outside and they assure him that they’re on the way.
Hunterhops into the driver’s seat which I’m glad for because truthfully, I don’t think I would’ve been able to make the drive there. Hunter floors it on the gas and we’re speeding down the driveway.
Thegate opens and I see another car following us. Must be Mase’s security wondering what the hell is going on, since we pretty much ran out of there like bats out of hell. Not even caring about tickets or any of that shit, Hunter speeds down the road.
Wereach the apartment building just as the ambulance does and Hunter rolls the windows down to yell at them to follow him. We speed down to the parking garage and the ambulance pulls up alongside us.
Wesprint out of the car and straight for the elevator with two of the paramedics following close behind us. The two minutes it takes to get up to the penthouse apartment feels like a fucking lifetime.
Itfinally gets to the top floor and we rush out of the elevator. Hunter quickly keys in the code to get in and we split up. Hunter goes to the office and I run for the master bedroom. Finding it empty, I quickly decide to check the bathroom as well, just in case.
Iburst through the bathroom door and the sight before me will be one that haunts me for the rest of my life.
“Mason!” I scream as tears fill my eyes and I rush toward him, screaming at the top of my lungs. “In here!”
Mybrother. He’s in a tub of water, red water that is no doubt blood and he’s unconscious. Footsteps sound behind me and I hear Hunter let out a ‘fuck!’ before he pulls me away from Mason. I try and struggle to get out of his hold, but he’s strong as fuck. I was about to go lift my brother out of that tub.
“Let the paramedics do their jobs,” he tells me. “It’s the only way they’re going to save him.”
Inod and feel myself deflate at his words, knowing he’s right. More sobs break free from me as I watch them pull him out of the tub and lay him on the floor. They quickly pull some bandages out of one of their bags and wrap both his arms, since there’s a long as fuck deep cut on both of them.
I’mstarting to freak the fuck out because he’s not moved since we came in here. Just then I notice a pill bottle on the floor.
“Look at the bottle on the floor! I think maybe he might’ve taken those as well,” I tell the paramedics. One of them grabs the bottle, reads it and shoves it into his bag. They put on one of those oxygen masks as someone else comes in with a stretcher. They quickly get him on it and then they’re taking him back down.
“I’ll see you at the hospital,” I tell Hunter. “I’m going with him.”
Henods his head just as we reach the garage again and I rush out behind the paramedics. I get into the back of the ambulance with my brother, all the while barely holding on by a thread.
Myheart is fucking breaking into a million pieces right now. I can’t imagine the thought of losing my brother right now since he’s the only family I have left and losing him would kill me. In less than five minutes we’re at the hospital and they’re rushing him through the emergency room doors.
Igo to move, to walk into the emergency room but my knees buckle as the full weight of reality crashes into me. I don’t make it to the ground though because Hunter catches me.
“Whoa there. Keep it together man. We need to stay strong for him and Winter,” he tells me and I nod my head.
Wehead into the emergency room and I collapse into one of the chairs there. Hunter takes care of all the paperwork since I can’t seem to function right now.
“I can’t lose him,” I mumbled, not even aware that I was speaking.
“We’re not going to lose him. He’ll be just fine. You’ll see,” Hunter says, trying to reassure me as I sit there with my head in my hands.
Ican’t believe that I was so fucking careless. I should’ve been watching over him more. I should have known that he was lying to us and that he wasn’t fine. There’re so many things I should’ve been doing that I didn’t and if he dies, I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life.
“What if he doesn’t?”
“He will. And don’t beat yourself up. He had us both fooled and when he wakes up, I’m going to kick his fucking ass!” Hunter grumbles.
Aboutan hour later the doctor walks over to us and I’m nervous as fuck to hear what he has to say.
“We have some good news. He’s going to be fine. We pumped the pills out of his stomach. I’m glad that he missed the arteries, so we sutured the cut on both his arms. He’ll make a full recovery in no time. He’s resting now if you want to see him. We’re going to keep him here until he sleeps off the effects of all those pills and then we’re going to have a psych evaluation done on him,” the doctor says.
“Thank you, Doctor,” I say with relief like I’ve never felt before.
Wemake our way to his room and I instantly hate the sight of him with all those wires attached to him. ThoughI guess that’s way better than him being dead. Hunter and I take a seat on the chairs in the room and we just stay there in companionable silence. About two hours later is the first time he shows signs of life, I quickly jump to my feet and rush over to his bedside.
“Ugh, why do I feel so tired?” Mason asks when he opens his eyes. They aren’t quite clear yet, so I’m guessing he’s still under the influence of the sleeping pills. I hug him as the tears start to fall again. “Why are you crying?”
“Why would you do such a fucking stupid thing?” I yell at him, as I stand to my full height again. He winces, probably because I’m so loud, but I don’t care. Now that I’m not scared anymore, I’m fucking pissed. “And don’t ask fuck stupid questions. How could you leave me like that without any care in the world? DoI not mean anything to you? What if we didn’t get there in time to save you, you asshole?”
“You weren’t supposed to,” he mumbles.
“Are you kidding me right now? Don’t make me punch you in the face. IfI didn’t love you so much, I’d murder you myself for being such a dumbass!” I snap at him.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you but my pain was too much,” he whispers.
“How on earth could you think that trying to kill yourself wouldn’t hurt me, you damn inconsiderate jackass!” I snap and he grins at me through his oxygen mask. “What the fuck are you grinning at?”
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me?” he asks with a pout.
“No.”
“Come on, you can’t be mad at me while I’m in a hospital bed.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“I’m sorry,” he says with a sigh. I watch as his eyes start to flutter a moment later. “I’m gonna go to sleep. I feel sleepy.”
“Yeah, get some rest. We’ll be here when you wake up,” I tell him as he closes his eyes. I place a kiss on his forehead and then take a seat next to Hunter again.
“Look at this,” he tells me and then proceeds to show me the video Mason made and posted online. It’s fucking viral already. I want to be mad at him but when I listen to it, it breaks my fucking heart. I honestly hope the two of them can fix their shit and soon too. “I’ll be back in a sec, let me call Winter and tell her that he’ll be okay.”
It’sbeen a few hours of Hunter and I sitting here while Mase’s still asleep. He hasn’t woken up again from the first time. I was worried, but the doc said that he’s just sleeping off the effects from the sleeping pills.
Amoment later, Winter bursts through the door, looking wildly around the room. Her eyes land on Mason and she bursts into tears as she rushes over to him. She hugs him, holding onto him with her face buried in the crook of his neck, as she completely breaks down. I can barely make out the words she’s started chanting over her sobs, but eventually I finally do. She’s saying “I’m sorry” over and over again.
Aftera few minutes of this, Hunter gets up from his seat and goes over to her, gently pulling her away.
“Calm down, sis. Think about the babies. The doctor assured us that he’s fine, and he just needs the rest. We got to him in time,” Hunter tells her and she bursts into more gut-wrenching sobs.
“This is all my fault,” she wails as Hunter places her on the chair between us.
“Shh,” I tell her, as I wrap my arm around her, soothing her as I rub her back. “He’ll be fine once the effects of the pills wear off. We’ve all made mistakes, but it’s time to move on now. We can’t keep hurting each other like this. We need to all find a way to put things behind us.”
“I know. I was already doing that. I love him and I can’t lose him,” she sobs. “I was already packing to come back home when he sent me that video and I was so scared.”
BothHunter and I work to calm her down as we all just sit there and wait. We’re in one of the premier private rooms so we can stay here as long as we want without anyone telling us to go or anything like that.
“You should go home and get some rest. I’m sure the babies are making you tired,” I tell her but I forgot who I’m dealing with here. Miss stubborn as hell. “I did hear babies, right?”
“Nope. I’m not leaving here until Mason can come home with us. And yes babies! We’re having twins!” she says and I smile at her, kissing her forehead. I hope things go smoothly from here on out because I don’t think I’d survive another scare like that from either of them.