Chapter Thirteen
I found myself in a small hotel in Moses Lake, Washington staring at a white stick with two blue lines. Looking over at the counter there are four more that look the exact same.
“One more.” I say, ripping the package off and tearing the lid off. I dip it into a small plastic cup of pee and wait for a few seconds. I recap it, and wait.
Three, long, excruciating minutes.
“FUCK!” I scream as the blue lines appear, again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” My heart beats against my ribs as my head starts spiraling. Worthless, broken, and now, soon to be a mother. What kind of person brings a child into the world when they can’t even get a handle on themselves.
“Fuck!” I throw the stick across the hotel room, watching it break against the door. My period is literally three weeks late, all six of these stupid sticks, and my body feels off. There’s no fucking doubt now. I’m pregnant.
“Fuck!” I shout again. My head hurts, I can’t be pregnant, all of those things are wrong. I drop to the bed on my back and let out a deep breath, there’s no point in lying to myself.
I haven’t heard from West in over a month, I’ve texted him, called, and now when I call his number, it says it’s out of service. I’m going to have to just call George. There’s no way around it.
Picking up my phone, I stare at the screen. A picture of West and I shines in my face, lighting it up, reminding me of what I lost. Facial recognition unlocks the phone and I pull up my contacts, staring at George’s name. I touch the edge of the phone to my forehead and breathe a few times. Okay, I can do this. I call him, and listen to it ringing. I click it to speak so I don’t have to hold it to my head. I pull up the calendar while it rings to start counting weeks back to figure out when it would have happened.
“Hello, this is George.” He answers.
“Hey bro.” I reply nervously. “I have a situation that I’ve found myself in and West stopped talking to me.”
“Mmhmm.” He hums.
“I really need to talk to him, can you give him the phone?”
“Hmmm.” He says, like he’s not going to.
“Is he there, can you just put it on speaker phone?”
“Okay.” He replies.
“Can he hear me?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Westley, I’m so sorry. I fucked up and we need to talk, preferably without my brother.” I say, but no sound comes from the other side. “I’m pregnant.” I start chewing on my lip, waiting for a response, but again nothing.
“George! Can you actually put it on speaker phone?”
“I can,” he says, “But I won’t,” he adds. Fucking prick.
“Then tell him for me if you wont let me talk to him. He needs to know that I’m pregnant, this isn’t about you!”
“Bye.” he throws at me and the line goes dead.
“Fuck you!” I shout at the phone, even though my asshole brother can’t hear me.
I type out a text to him.
Me:I fucking hate you. He needs to know George, don’t fucking hide this from him. He’ll hate you for keeping this secret! *middle finger emoji* I’m having his baby, he has a right to know!!!!
I wait for two days and George never responds back, fine. I tried, West changed his number, I don’t know how to talk to his parents without going through mine and I’m not ready to tell them. Although George will probably tell them, just so he can be on an even higher pedestal with them, throwing me under the bus.
The Inn is small, but there was no way I was staying at my parents house. When I tried to introduce McKenna to them, they ignored me. When I tried to invite them to her birthday, they ignored me.
I came back to show all these judgemental assholes that I fucking made a life for myself. I own my own tattoo shop, McKenna and I have a house to ourselves and we didn’t need any of them to do it.
“Mommy. I’m hungry.” She says. Her hair is up in braided space buns. She loves having her hair like mine. She asks me all the time why I have dark hair and she has light hair. I usually just tell her because she’s so much prettier with the lighter colored hair, but her school had a daddy/daughter dance a couple weeks before it ended for the summer and when she didn’t have a daddy to take, she started asking questions.
“Okay baby, do you want to go to the diner and get a burger and fries?” I ask, collecting my back and leather jacket. My friend Bailey came with us, but shes only here to watch McKenna tonight. Ill let her have the day to explore and do her own thing.
“Yesss!” She shouts, grabbing her little bag and matching leather jacket. Her favorite color is pink but not hot pink, it has to be baby pink. Which is only another thing that reminds me of him.
So she wears pink dresses, with her little leather jackets and her bows with her little rocker shoes. She has a whole style of her own and she’s only four. We just celebrated her fourth birthday on May 2nd. She had a full Barbie theme with all her little friends, and it was great. Of course she wanted her Barbie to have a leather jacket.
“Lets go!” She shouts, holding a hand up for me to take. I let her wrap her fingers around mine and we leave, walking down the street to the diner.
When we walk in, I see George and a blonde woman. “Two?” The teenage girl asks, grabbing menus.
“Yes. Can you put us over there?” I ask, pointing in the opposite direction of my brother.
“Of course.” She bends down to look at McKenna. “You look amazing.” She tells her.
McKenna twirls side to side, “Thanks. These are my favorites.” She stomps her foot, lighting up her little black boots.
“Those are the best ever!” The teenage girl says. She stands back up and nods for us to follow her. We take our seats, I put her in the booth across from me, hidden from view if George happens to spot me. My brother still hasn’t met his niece, and I’m not about to let him waltz into our lives now. I’m here for the reunion and that’s all. I want a few things my mother said she saved for me, and then I’m going back home to Moses Lake, where we’re happy. Where our lives are.
“What can I get you guys to drink?” The waitress asks.
“Apple juice, pwease.” McKenna says, using her manners like the good girl I taught her to be.
“I’ll have sweet tea without a lemon, please and thank you.” I remain kind these days. I had an episode where I lost my cool and when McKenna repeated the behavior, I knew right then that I could not let her see me fall apart.
“Of course. Be right back.” She taps two knuckles to the table and then walks away.
“Do you want the kids burger with cheese, ketchup and pickles or the chicken tenders?” I ask, because even though I asked if she wanted a burger and fries in the room, it didnt mean that she suddenly decided that she wanted chicken. It does happen.
“Burger pwease.”
“Please.” I correct her. “You’re leaving the L out of the word sweat pea.”
“Please.” She repeats.
“Thank you. So burger and fries it is.”
The waitress brings out drinks and McKenna crayons and a coloring page. We put our food order in and wait. I watch George, who still hasnt spotted me as McKenna colors on her paper. The door opens and my attention is drawn to the man walking through. My heart stops and my lungs burn when I see him. Westley Sherman, walking through the door.
I freeze, hoping like fuck he doesn’t look this way. Don’t look. Don’t look. I feel like I’m shrinking into the seat. He looks this way and we make eye contact. He offers me a little head nod and then joins George and the blonde woman.
My eyes are glued to the back of his head, and when the blonde woman gets up she hugs him, then he leans down and gives her a quick kiss on the lips.
He’s brought a woman home.
Fuck. We can’t eat here.
Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Shit.
“Double Melt with extra sauce on the side and a burger with fries, only pickles and ketchup. Promise.”
The waitress winks at McKenna and she smiles up at her. “Thank you.”
“Anything else ladies?” I look at our waitress and smile, shaking my head. “Enjoy.”
“Eat up sweet pea.” I tell my daughter, hoping like fuck that we can get out of here without being seen. I don’t want him knowing about her. Not after everything I’ve done on my own. She’s mine. Not his.
“Mommy, can we get ice cream later?” McKenna asks, sticking a fry into her mouth.
“Sure.” I reply, not really hungry anymore. My nerves are dancing on the edge and I don’t know if I could keep it down.
We eat our food quickly and McKenna gets full after half her burger. The waitress drops the check, and I drop cash to cover it plus a nice tip.
I get up from the table, watching my brother look at me, luckily McKenna is short enough she can’t be seen from over there thanks to the booths.
“Kat!” My brother shouts, pushing up out of his booth. I stop, so close. He comes over to me, “I’m glad to see you came back for the reunion. Mom’s been raving about meeting her granddaughter.” He looks down at McKenna, who just looks up at me. “Hello, I’m your uncle.” There’s no way I’m letting my mother anywhere near McKenna.
“Hi.” She says back, then she pulls on my arm. “Who is he?”
“He’s no one sweet pea. No one at all. Let’s go.” I smile at my brother and then turn to see West and the blonde girl staring at us.
I take my daughter and leave through the door, walking by the large windows, right next to their table with my head held high and my daughter right next to me. This is not how I wanted this to happen, but of course George couldn’t help himself. West is back, with a blonde woman, and he just had to rub it in. Outing me about my daughter in front of them.
George knows who the father is, he’s apparently the only one since he never told my parents. They found out when I called to tell them that I gave birth. My mother of course was ashamed of me, and my father was disappointed.
We make it back to the Inn without anyone else popping up and I close our door with a sigh of relief. For a second I thought he’d come chasing after me, asking me about her. But he’s a dumb man, he probably thinks that McKenna is someone elses.