Chapter 23
BUTCH
“Idon’t know if I can do this,” Raelynn told him.
“Why?” he asked.
He knew she needed this… desperately. Everything was becoming too much for her, from what Butch could tell, and he needed to step in and stop it. The best way he knew was her being in Little space and him taking complete control.
“Because I’m nervous,” she mumbled.
“I know you are, and we are going to get past that. In the back, there is a rocking chair. I think it would be best if we went there. There is a slight breeze, but with Brick’s blanket and my body heat, I don’t think you’re going to get cold,” he explained.
“I’ll swaddle you, have a bottle so that we can be outside in the sunshine, hearing the birds chirp, and just relax.
I think that will help you settle into Little space. ”
Or he hoped it would. He had several other ideas if it didn’t work, but he figured once he got her swaddled and with a bottle, she was going to find it relatively easy to do.
“Will other people be out there?” she asked as she looked around.
Reaper and Xavier were still in the room, doing their own things. Everyone else was either guarding or trying to find out where Edmund went.
“Reaper will make sure that no one comes out to the back while we are there,” Butch said.
“That’s right. I’ll put up a sign, and any time someone walks in, I’ll let them know it’s off-limits for the time being,” Reaper agreed.
He owed it to his brothers for always being willing to step in and help when he needed it. They knew Realynn was shy, yet they gave her space while also showing her they cared about her.
Family.
They were making her part of the family.
Not that she never was. Butch had talked about Raelynn since the first day he’d joined the Springfield Sinners. She was his whole world, and he wanted everyone to know that. He wanted them to know she was his.
“O-okay,” she mumbled.
“I’ll go get the milk,” Reaper said.
“I’m back,” Brick announced when he walked back into the main room. “I didn’t know what your favorite color was and forgot to ask Butch when I was out buying it. If you don’t like it, I’ll get you a different one.”
He pulled out the pastel pink blanket, and her eyes lit up.
“Oh, you picked the right color,” Butch said and shook his head, a smile on his face. “That’s her favorite.”
Brick’s shoulders slumped, and he handed over the blanket. “I’m glad. I was trying to figure out what color to go with and even had a little help.”
“Help?” Reaper asked. “Who?”
“Some lady said she saw me standing there for a while, looking at the blankets. I told her who it was for, my brother’s wife, and she helped me figure it out. Took a while since I didn’t know much about you, but we eventually got it and picked the pastel pink,” Brick said.
Butch smiled as he watched Raelynn’s mouth fall open once again. “W-wife?” she stuttered.
He nodded. “I didn’t want to say Little since I didn’t know whether she was one or if you wanted anyone to know that you were one. So I figured wife was the next best thing.”
Reaper laughed and placed the bottle on the counter next to Butch.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Girlfriend?” she pointed out. “Or, well, I don’t know if we are dating. We haven’t talked about this.”
The smile fell from his face at her words.
“You are mine, Little Fairy. Do not forget that. While we may not have talked about it, I have told you multiple times that you are mine,” he said as he gave her a pointed look. “No one will take you away from me.”
“So, I think wife was appropriate.” Brick nervously chuckled. “I’m going to go now. I’ve got some work to do.”
“Let’s swaddle you, and then we’ll go outside,” Butch said.
Raelynn was still holding onto the blanket as she got up from the chair.
“I put a mat in the yard, so you can swaddle her there. I figured she might not want to be carried through the clubhouse,” Reaper said.
“Thank you,” Realynn whispered.
Butch picked up Rae and grabbed the bottle before walking through the hallway and toward the back of the clubhouse.
“How are you feeling?” he asked when he stepped outside.
“Tired,” she mumbled. “And worried. I’m worried I won’t be able to slip into Little space, and then you’re going to be disappointed.”
Butch stopped and turned toward her. “Daddy will never be disappointed in you. I know it might be hard to slip into Little space. If you can’t do that, it’s okay. We are going to figure something else out to help you relax.”
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes, Little Fairy. You mean the world to me, and if you can’t, then it’s okay. Life is really stressful for everyone right now, and not everyone can do it under stress.”
Raelynn gripped the blanket tighter before leaning her head on his shoulder.
“Everything is going to be okay,” Butch said. “I’m going to take good care of you.”
“I know, Daddy,” she mumbled.
“Do you want to do anything else while you’re in Little space? Maybe we could have some toys out here, or we could get your stuffies and you can play with them. I bet the guys have some coloring books you can also use if you want to,” he suggested.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“I know they won’t mind. They would be more than happy for you to use some of their stuff if you want to.”
She didn’t know it, but they were already wrapped around her pinky and would do anything for her if she asked for it.
“Just think about it. If you want anything, you let me know, and I’ll text them,” Butch said. “Now, let’s get you all wrapped up, and we can start rocking. Can you let go of the blanket?”
She didn’t look like she wanted to let go of the blanket, and Butch hid his smile. She was just too adorable for her own good.
“I don’t want to,” she whined.
“Do you want to be swaddled?” Butch asked.
She looked so unsure when she opened and closed her mouth several times.
“Do you just want Daddy to take over so you don’t have to make any decisions?” he asked.
She nodded, and he smiled.
“Good girl. What we’re going to do is use this super soft blanket to swaddle you.
You’ll be able to feel how soft it is. It will be like you never had to let it go.
Then I’m going to hold you, and we are going to rock in the chair while you drink from the bottle.
We aren’t going to think about anything,” Daddy told her.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to shut my brain off,” she whispered.
Daddy took the blanket and carefully laid it out while still holding her in his arms. It was awkward and hard, but she was gripping onto his shirt with so much might that he knew he wouldn’t be able to let her go.
“You will be. Daddy is going to help you,” he said.
He carefully placed her down on the blanket, but she was still holding onto his shirt.
“Come on, Little Fairy. Daddy is going to take care of you. Everything is going to be okay,” he gently said.
She reluctantly let go of him, and he made quick work of swaddling her.
“Such a good girl,” he praised her.
Raelynn let out a sigh of relief when Butch picked her up, holding her close as he made his way over to the chair and started to rock.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked.
She nodded and closed her eyes, but he could still see the tightness between her eyebrows as she thought about everything. Butch brought his hand up and smoothed out her skin.
“It’s okay, Little Fairy. Daddy is here to take over, so you don’t have to think,” he gently said.
“All I want you to do is suckle on this and drink up as we listen to nature. Then I when you are done, Daddy is going to replace it with a pacifier, and you are just going to focus on suckling that. That’s all Daddy wants from you right now. ”
She blinked up at him. He knew she was paying attention to every single word he said and hoped she would follow his instructions.
“Such a good girl,” he mumbled. “Daddy is so proud of you.”
Eyes glistening with tears, she closed them as he popped the nipple into her mouth and set into a rocking rhythm. Every once in a while, Butch looked down to see how Raelynn was faring, and he only ever saw her with her eyes closed, looking at peace as she suckled on the nipple.
“Daddy’s good Little girl.” He pulled the now-empty bottle away from her lips, making Raelynn whine and open her mouth.
Butch chuckled and shook his head before grabbing the pacifier from the front pocket in his cut and plopping it in her mouth.
Her breathing evened out at some point, and Butch relaxed more into the chair. Finally, she was asleep.
“Can I sit here and talk to you?” Reaper asked. “Don’t worry, Luther is looking out to make sure no one walks back here.”
“What do you need?” Butch cocked his head to the side.
“Why do you call her Little Fairy?” Reaper asked when he sat down on the bench opposite them.
Butch looked down at sleeping Rae and thought back to that day.
“The first time I ever saw her was when she was little, well, when we were little. She was wearing this Tinker Bell costume and had a wand in her hand. She was so cute. Back then, I knew that I wanted her to be mine,” Butch explained.
“When you were young? I thought you didn’t meet until you were in high school,” Reaper said.
“We met briefly when we were younger, probably around five years old, and that interaction stuck in my head until my father announced that he was going to marry her mother. I was so happy that I had no objections. I wanted her close and wanted to make her mine.” Butch chuckled.
“She had been on my mind the whole time; no other girl compared to her. She didn’t remember me, but it was okay.
I was going to still prove that we were meant to be together, and thankfully I did. ”
“How did she not remember you?” he asked.
He shrugged and looked down. “I think it was because she went through a lot. Her mother was still married to her father back then, and they were a happy family. She was the happiest girl out there, but then I believe her father died, and her mother turned for the worse. I don’t know everything that happened, and I never wanted to push her to tell me.
But I don’t think she remembered me, despite how close we were that day, because of everything that happened after that.
Her mother was rude to her and put her through hell before she met my dad. ”
Butch had been so broken-hearted when he saw her for the first time after so many years.
“She was a shell of herself when we first met, and it took me forever for her to even talk to me, but I was determined. I knew that I wanted her, and I was going to get her. I just needed her to see it,” Butch explained.
“But from the very beginning, when our parents got married, I called her Little Fairy because to me, I still saw that girl who was so happy and loved Tinker Bell. I wanted her to have a nickname that was only for her and no one else could call her that.”
“Why not Tinker or Bell as a nickname?” Reaper asked. “I would have called her Tinker Bell if it was me.”
Butch scoffed and shook his head. “Be creative when you come up with a nickname for your Little—when you get one. They want to feel special, and other people might call their significant other Tinker Bell. It’s also after a character.”
Reaper hummed and looked out at the backyard. They sat there for several minutes in silence as Butch continued to rock. She was fast asleep in his lap, and he wanted her to stay like this. She hadn’t been getting good sleep, and she desperately needed this.
“I’m thinking about getting a dog,” Reaper said. “I was thinking maybe a puppy, so it can grow old with me. But I was also thinking about a puppy, so in a couple of years when I want to find someone for me, it will be trained and can protect her.”
“What if you find her tomorrow?” Butch asked. “Do you still want a puppy then?”
“I won’t find her tomorrow. I won’t even look for a couple of years,” Reaper replied.
“That’s not how that works. You’ve seen the club owners.
You’ve heard from Deccan about how none of them were looking for their Littles, but found them randomly one day through an interaction and knew they were theirs.
You don’t have any control over that, and I don’t want you thinking you do.
What if she shows up in the next couple of days and you know she’s yours?
What then? Are you just going to let her walk away because you said you aren’t looking? ”
Reaper shook his head. “No, I won’t just let her go.”
“Exactly. So, think about it.”
“I think I’m still going to get a puppy, though. They are cute. I’ve always wanted one,” Reaper said.
“Well, I think Rae and Echo would be happy to babysit the puppy if you ever need someone,” Butch replied as Rae let out a whine.
Both of their eyes stayed glued on her as they waited for her to make another noise.
“Shhh, you’re okay,” Butch whispered.
She continued to whimper, so Butch started to unwrap the blanket from her.
“What’s wrong with her?” Reaper asked.
“I don’t kn—” but the words stopped as her whining ceased, and he felt something warm on his lap. His gaze snapped to Reaper. “We never mention this at all. You weren’t here. You didn’t see anything. You don’t know anything.”
Reaper’s eyes scanned Raelynn’s before they stopped on her lower half.
“Never saw anything. I’ll keep everyone away from here to your room. You go deal with this,” Reaper said as he got up from his seat.
“Thanks.”
Butch waited until he left to wrap the blanket around her and get up. How was he going to wake her up without any embarrassment?
He quickly made his way to his room and into the bathroom before taking the blanket off her.
“Little Fairy, it’s time to wake up,” he gently cooed at her. “Can you wake up for Daddy?”
He needed to get her cleaned up and himself, too.
“Come on, Little Fairy. Time for a bath,” he said.