Chapter Four
Katrina
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
I took a deep breath and focused on Slyce. We had been at this for days, and she wouldn’t give in. She refused to budge and give me what I wanted.
“You can’t stay in this house forever.”
“Why?” I asked. My voice reminded me of my daughter’s from when she was four and threw a tantrum because I wouldn’t allow her to have chocolate for breakfast.
“It’s not healthy, Kat. You need sunshine—”
“I go outside!” I shouted. “I work in the garden.” My hands flew through the air in exasperation.
“In the backyard, where you can shield yourself behind a six-foot fence. You need to be social, make some friends.”
“I don’t want fucking friends,” I spat through clenched teeth. “Friends can’t be trusted.”
Hurt flashed in her eyes, and I was glad.
She deserved to feel what I was feeling.
We’d become close over the past few months, she being the only person besides Frankie who I spoke with.
But she still wouldn’t tell me who hired her.
Whoever it was still hadn’t come forward, and Slyce wouldn’t reveal their name or what they wanted with us.
She assured me we were safe, but I’d fallen for that before. I wouldn’t fall for it again. My sole job was to keep Frankie safe, and if that meant we lived like recluses, then so be it.
“Mom,” Frankie’s small voice called from the corner of the couch. “I’d like to go.”
“Why are you two always ganging up on me? I am trying to keep us safe.”
“Diamond Creek is probably the safest place you could be,” Slyce assured me.
I gaped at her. Safe? A few months ago, the clubhouse door blew to hell, and men died in the battle that ensued afterward. That wasn’t my definition of safe.
“Mom, please. I’m going crazy stuck in the house all the time. I want to meet kids my age.”
I closed my eyes, trying not to let her see my fear. My insecurity was hurting her; I knew that. But she’d been through so much. We both had, and I couldn’t bear to be let down again. Couldn’t handle her being hurt again.
“Fine, we can give it a try,” I relented.
What I wanted to say was that my daughter didn’t need anyone but me. I would never hurt her. Never betray her the way so-called friends would. I wanted to spare her the pain and rejection of someone close to you sticking a knife in your back.
Frankie ran at me and threw her arms around my waist. I held on to her a little tighter than usual. She was growing up, and one day she would leave me. She’d go off to college or get married and start a family of her own. I didn’t want to lose my little girl.
“Go get dressed before I change my mind.”
Frankie kissed my cheek and dashed down the hall to her bedroom. I didn’t have to look at Slyce to see the smirk. She knew as well as I did that it was nigh on impossible for me to tell Frankie no.
“It’s just breakfast, you know.”
“I know,” I replied with a heavy sigh. “But at the same time, it isn’t. If we start to meet people, get to know them... I’m opening her up to be hurt again.”
“You can’t shelter her from emotional pain.
It’s there no matter what. Either she stays home with you and lives her life always wondering what’s on the other side of that door, maybe growing to resent you, or worse, when she’s an adult she leaves forever.
Or she gets out into the world and meets friends who may hurt her or could be the best thing that ever happens to her. ”
“They will hurt her,” I muttered. “They always do.”
“And you’ll be here to pick up the pieces.”
Slyce moved closer to where I stood. “I know finding out Richard and Stacy got married hurt, but neither one of them deserved to be in your life anymore. You have to let them both go and try not to let it paint every other person you meet in a bad light.” She tilted her head to the side.
“Or are you afraid you’ll lose her? Frankie loves you more than anyone in the world, Kat. You’re her mom.”
When I didn’t respond, Slyce blew out a frustrated breath and walked to the front door. “I’ll be waiting outside.”
I sat down to put on my boots. The weather was getting cooler, and it forced me to put my sandals away. Once I finished tying the laces, I grabbed the thick flannel shirt I kept on the hook. Frankie appeared with a big smile on her face.
“I’m getting the biggest stack of pancakes they have,” she boasted. “And bacon.”
“Of course, bacon. It’s not breakfast without bacon.”
I followed my daughter outside, inhaling a deep breath. We’d lived in Diamond Creek for months now, and we hadn’t been anywhere since the night we moved into this house.
I’d always wanted to be a mom. The day the doctor told me it would never be possible was the day I gave up. For almost two years, we tried to have a baby. I’d been pregnant three times, and all three times had ended in miscarriage.
The doctors couldn’t tell me why. Their only answer was that these things happened—until I met Dr. Adams. He was a new OBGYN in the area, but I’d only heard great things about him.
He was younger than I’d expected, newly licensed in his specialty, but he ran tests on both Richard and me, and that was when he found it.
Severe Adenomyosis.
A rare condition where endometrial tissue grows deep into the uterine muscle, often doubling or tripling its size. Dr. Adams had brought in specialists who confirmed that even with treatment, the scar tissue would prevent implantation.
The only cure was a hysterectomy.
I thought my life was over.
Then I met a woman named Francine Fredricks. She was a social worker who worked with child services, placing children in foster homes.
She sat with me for hours explaining the program’s benefits for not only the children but the parents as well. The initial goal was always reconciliation with one or both parents, but that wasn’t always possible, and in those cases, the foster parents had the option to adopt.
Richard had been on board without a fuss.
It should have been a red flag, especially when we were filling out the paperwork and he only wanted to foster girls.
When Miss Fredricks asked about it, I explained it away, saying he grew up with only his mom and two younger sisters. He was comfortable raising a girl.
I should have known, especially since his sisters had nothing to do with him. They’d cut off contact with him years before I met him. He brushed it off, saying they’d gotten involved with a bad crowd.
I didn’t listen to the little voice inside my head, and Frankie had paid the price.
We walked to the diner. Diamond Creek was a small map-dot town; it had one main street that held everything the town needed. A hair salon, a hardware store, a boutique, a bakery, and more.
The Diner sat at the end of Main Street, meaning we had to pass by every shop in town. Frankie’s animated chatter made me smile as she talked to Slyce about where they should go first after breakfast.
I heard Frankie say she wasn’t missing the chance to explore now that they’d finally gotten me out of the house. Guilt washed over me, but I shoved it away. Convincing myself it was for her safety, not my fear.
We entered the diner to the jingle of a small bell above us, and every head turned to look in our direction. I’d never felt more self-conscious in my life. I pulled Frankie against me as I stepped to the left, letting Slyce shield us.
“Mom, they heard a noise and looked,” Frankie whispered. “They’ve already forgotten about us. Look.”
When I peeked around Slyce, Frankie was right. No one paid any attention to us. They’d all gone back to eating their food and talking to each other.
“Sit anywhere you like!” the waitress yelled across the room, drawing more attention to us, and I groaned. Frankie shook her head as she chuckled at me.
Frankie and I followed Slyce to a booth, and we sat down.
My daughter chose to sit across from me, next to Slyce, rather than with her mother.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a twinge of hurt, but I understood it.
Slyce was new and exciting. She was like G.I. Jane in the eyes of a twelve-year-old.
Still, I wasn’t ready for someone else to be her hero yet.
“What are you having?” Slyce asked Frankie.
“Pancakes,” she answered quickly, giving Slyce a look that said it was the only option.
“Okay, okay. I get it; we’re carb-loading today.” Slyce perused the menu dramatically and slapped it on the table. “Waffles it is.”
Frankie smiled at her with adoration, and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Slyce’s words ran through my head. Was I holding Frankie back because I was afraid of losing her to someone else? Afraid that another person would take my place in her life?
If Frankie left me, I’d be alone.
Maybe that was what I was afraid of. It made sense why I latched on to all the wrong men so quickly in a desperate attempt to be loved and not forgotten. Abandoned.
“Hi, are you ready to order?” the young girl asked, setting the coffee carafe on the table. Frankie stared at me, begging with her sad puppy eyes.
“One cup!” I insisted.
The waitress laughed at Frankie’s little dance as she flipped her cup over and poured some coffee in it, then reached for the cream and sugar.
“I think we are,” I said, opening my menu so I could read off what I wanted. She wrote down everything we wanted and then smiled.
“My name’s Rhoda. I haven’t seen you in here before. Did you just move here, or are you passing through?”
“We moved here a few months ago,” Frankie answered. “Do you know any kids my age?”
“How old are you?”
“Twelve.” Frankie beamed.
“Well, I don’t technically live here. I live in the next town over, but kids your age come in here all the time. And my little sister is thirteen.”
“What’s her name?” Frankie asked excitedly.
That was when I saw it. The exact moment everything clicked into place for me. My daughter was starving for friendship. For a real, genuine connection with her peers. Someone who laughed at her jokes and shared her secrets.
“Her name is Cami. Maybe if it’s okay with your mom, I could have her come for dinner one night this week and you two could get to know each other.”
Frankie’s eyes snapped to mine, and she didn’t have to say a word for me to hear the pleading tone.
I nodded with a smile as warm as I could make it, while inside I was dreading the way things were turning.
If Frankie made friends, she’d never want to leave.
And I wasn’t sure Diamond Creek was the right place for us.
The bell over the door jingled, and the focus of my doubts and fears walked in, looking entirely too sexy in his worn jeans and flannel shirt.
His jeans had dirt stains on the knees as if he had been kneeling in mud.
The toes of his boots showed signs of long-term wear, with cracks causing the leather to peel back, and I wondered if he couldn’t afford to buy new ones, or if they were just so comfortable that he refused to give them up.
“Derek!” Frankie yelled across the room and waved.
His smile caused a soft groan to escape my lips, and I heard Slyce snicker. I glared in her direction, and she winked before chuckling even louder.
Derek waved to someone in the back, and before I could blink, he was standing at the end of the table. “How are you, Curly Sue?”
“Curly Sue?” Frankie asked.
Derek grinned. “It was a movie from when I was a kid. The little girl had brown curls, a lot like yours,” he said as he tugged on a strand of her hair. “It was my mom’s favorite movie.”
“Wanna have breakfast with us? You can sit next to Mom.”
Frankie ignored the kick I gave her under the table and grinned up at Derek, waiting for his reply. He looked my way, and I mouthed, Sorry.
“I wish I could. But I’ve got a big job I’m working on and I’ve gotta get it done soon so I can start on the next one.”
“Maybe we can have dinner?” Frankie asked, her hopeful expression fading when Derek muttered something more about work.
“Hey, Derek, your order’s ready.”
“I’ve gotta run, but I’ll catch you later, Curly Sue.”
“Sure,” Frankie mumbled. But Derek had already turned around, missing the sad look on my baby’s face. I pierced a glare at Slyce. This was the shit I was trying to avoid.
“I’ll be right back.”