Chapter Ten
Carter
Gray blue, impossibly big, eyes were taunting me whenever I closed mine making sleep impossible. That spark of longing, of lust swirling in their depths called to me. I closed my eyes, rubbing them in the vain attempt of chasing away the memory to no use.
I just knew that the image of Harley standing in my kitchen, her eyes looking up into mine, her full lips with that perfect cupid’s bow right there for me to take would haunt me for years to come.
I almost caved. It would be so easy, leaning down and tasting her lips, like breathing. All it would take would be just a small tilt of my head down, and I would finally know if her lips tasted sweet like they promised they would.
I threw the covers off me, sat up, and threw my legs over the side of the bed. I needed to do something that would chase the image away even for just a few hours.
I knew there was no way I would get any rest tonight. I was too amped up, too restless. Lust was swirling inside me, and if I wasn’t careful I would end up in Harley’s bed.
I never had a problem with self-control before.
Never even thought about crossing that line.
A job was a job, and the client was out of reach.
Always. And when I had time, I could easily find a willing partner for the night, or even a weekend.
After that I would walk away without even a backwards glance.
There were no games, no heartfelt conversations, no longing looks. Just a good time between the sheets, and then we both went our separate ways.
Just thinking about that had my gut churning.
All it left me with was a deep feeling of nothingness.
And loneliness. I couldn’t even try to think about going out and finding someone who was willing to share my bed for a night without a stab of pain in the left side of my chest. And the only thing that it intensified was my need to know how Harley’s mouth would taste, how soft her skins would be, and wonder if her hair would feel good gliding over me as it promised.
I got up, and went across the room, rotating both my shoulders to ease the tension that gathered in them.
Sliding the tip of my finger across the mouse tab, I brought the laptop up from sleep.
If I couldn’t sleep I could at least do something useful and check out the feeds of the cameras around the property to make sure all was as it should be. Anything to stop replaying the image from this morning on the loop.
Of how she tore down another wall for me to see the real her.
Her pain. How alone she was. It was gut wrenching, she was constantly surrounded by people, but in the end, she had no one.
I knew how that felt a little too well. And then, she bared it all when she talked about the abuse she endured and how brave she was when she pulled herself out. How strong.
I barely kept myself in check as she talked about her ex and what he did to her. I tried to squash it, but pride surged in me whenever her words about how she got away flitted through my mind.
Fucking Hell, but she was something.
A pure dynamo.
There was no way I would ever be able to forget her words as she was talking in a small voice, but still tried to joke about it just to make me feel better.
Or how satisfaction bloomed on her face when a praise I couldn’t bite back slipped my mouth.
And then she did the impossible. With her wit, she made me laugh. I haven’t missed her jolt when I did, but the look of pure, womanly satisfaction on her face that came on the heels of her shock almost broke all my defenses.
I could only thank my guardian angel that she didn’t get a chance to do what was clearly written all over her. Touch me.
If she did, I was positive I couldn’t hold back.
I would cave and have her then and there.
Thank God for my meddling family, and for Max’s text of demand for an update of the state of affairs, his words, between Harley and me, that came in.
She’s the job.
She’s not yours.
She can never be yours.
I repeated my new mantra over and over again while I waited for the feed to reload.
Clicking through the feeds I checked every inch around the house.
All was clear.
Just as I was about to get up, and try to ease the tension and chase the buzzing need in me with a light workout, a ping sounded in the silent room.
An email alert popped up on my monitor, and I clicked.
The moment it loaded, the muscles in my neck went taught, and my molars ground together.
There, on my screen was a picture of Harley in bed. Sleeping.
“Fuck,” I leaned closer, and at what I saw, my blood ran cold freezing me in place for a precious second.
The picture taken was of Harley in my damned house.
In the next heartbeat, I had my gun and Taser in my hands, and I crept to the door.
Quietly opening it, I checked the hallway and quickly crossed to Harley’s door.
Without a moment of hesitation I went into her room, and checked it.
There was no one standing over her by the bed or lurking in the shadows. The closet was opened, and walked over to it checking every nook.
Nothing.
Knowing they could be somewhere in the house, I went to the bed, “Dynamo.”
She stirred slightly, but still didn’t wake up.
“Dynamo,” my voice was soft. I didn’t want to spook to her, but I also had to wake her up.
“Wh-wh,” she mumbled, her eyelids fluttering, but sleep still held her in its hands.
I reached over and gently ran a finger on the side of her face, “Wake up, baby. I need you to wake up.”
“Warden,” she mumbled, her voice raspy from sleep.
“Get up.”
“What?” She looked around. “What’s going on?”
“Come on, Dynamo,” I whispered, taking her arm and gently pulling her from bed. “Get up.”
She frowned, “Why?”
I stepped back, pulling her away from the bed.
She stumbled slightly, but went without protest. Turning I positioned her where I needed her to be.
“Here, take this,” I pressed the Taser in her hands.
“Don’t move from this corner. If someone comes in, anyone but me, aim in their middle and squeeze the trigger.
The barbed probes can go 15 feet so the moment they cross the threshold they’re in the range. Don’t hesitate.”
Her hands started shaking, “Carter, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on.”
“I will,” I grunted and started slowly going to the door. “I just need to check the house first. Stay here. And remember, if anyone that’s not me, come in, aim and squeeze.”
“Carter,” I could hear Harley desperately hissing my name, but I was already out the door.
I checked the house room by room. Every inch of it.
The only sound was of me skulking through the dark rooms, and my heavy breathing.
I was usually more quiet, but the adrenaline and fear that someone was going to hurt Harley was making me sloppy.
There was no one.
The windows and doors were all locked, and nothing was disturbed.
I pulled away the curtains in the living room that I pulled closed last night, and peered outside.
Nothing. It was all still. Not even the slight sway of the branches in the night breeze.
How the hell was that picture taken then?
Putting my gun in the waistband of my sleep shorts, I went to her.
By the time I came back into Harley’s room, she was shaking like a leaf in the wind.
I put both of my hands up, “It’s me.”
She didn’t react to my words at all. She just kept staring at the door, the Teaser held loosely in her hands, and her lips trembled.
I came up to her, and took the Taser from her hands, and threw it on the nightstand. She still didn’t move. Still didn’t even react to me being in her room.
“Dynamo,” I called. “Look at me.”
She swallowed, and finally looked up at me but I could see she still wasn’t focused. She was spiraling into shock. “You’re back,” her voice trembled but it was void of any real emotion.
I dipped down, and put my hands on her arms, rubbing lightly, “I’m back.”
My words and touch brought back focus into Harley’s eyes. Her gray blue eyes searched mine, “You left me.”
Pain sliced through me, “I didn’t leave you, Dynamo. I had to check the house. I was always right here, with you.”
A tear slipped down her cheeks then, “With me.”
I took a step back, and guided Harley to her bed. She sank on it like she had no strength left in her body, her shoulders slumping down.
She was quiet. Too quiet, something my Dynamo never was, and I hated the silence that was engulfing her.
But I knew she needed time to process.
I sat down next to her on the other end of the bed. I couldn’t face her. Not yet. My insides vibrated with worry and fear. I could have lost her.
I had to call Chace and Max, had to have that fucking picture processed, and the feed checked but I couldn’t bring myself to move. I was powerless to stand up and get my phone. I looked down and could see my hands trembled.
For the first time in my life, fear made itself known. Not even when dad got killed, and Rory was attacked did I feel this pure form of that emotion. Not when Chace went undercover with the goal to dismantle the Mafia ring in Denver, and not when Alina or Sky lived through their ordeal.
I knew at that moment I wouldn’t survive losing Harley.
Over the last few weeks, she slowly but meticulously buried herself under my skin and there was nothing I could do about it.
She was quickly becoming the most important person in my life, and I needed to find the sick bastard who terrorized her soon.
I needed her safe.
In the back of my mind, I was aware that years down the line, I would recognize this as my turning point. Whenever I would wonder why I was alone, why I hadn’t lived a full life, this would be the moment that would ring true.
Because, even though I wanted Harley with every cell in my body, I couldn’t have her.
I couldn’t have her only to lose her.
And there would be no one but her.
I tried to breathe normally, tried to hide my internal turmoil for her.
But then she turned, and in a soft voice asked, “Will you stay with me?”