Chapter Ten
Eliza
The security monitor beside Haven’s front door showed Ash standing at the gate, his Kiss of Death MC cut visible beneath his leather jacket.
My stomach knotted as I watched him shift his weight from one foot to another, waiting for someone to buzz him in.
A week had passed since our unexpected reunion at the hospital, and though I knew this moment would come eventually, I felt completely unprepared.
I watched with a small amount of anxiety as Hannah moved toward the intercom, her expression carefully neutral.
“Ash is Lily’s father,” I said quietly, the words feeling strange after so long. “Asher Hudson.”
Hannah paused, her finger hovering over the intercom button. “Knuckles brought him in when he got out of Terre Haute,” she confirmed, not asking a question.
I nodded, my throat suddenly tight. “I’m sure he’s here to see Lily.”
Hannah studied the monitor for a moment longer before turning to me. “Do you want him here, Eliza?”
The simple question carried weight I wasn’t ready to bear.
Did I want Ash here? The man who had left us to face years of struggle alone without him.
The man whose absence had left a void in Lily’s life no amount of my love could fill.
The man who now wore the same MC cut as Cash and all the other men who had unexpectedly become our protectors.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, crossing my arms over my chest. “But he’s her father. He’s never been bad to either of us other than getting sent to prison when he could have chosen to stay home. He has rights.”
Hannah’s eyes softened. “Not in Haven. No one has rights here except the women and children we protect. If you don’t want him inside these walls, he doesn’t come inside.
I told you the same with Cash and it stands the same with Ash.
” She blinked several times before a smile broke out. “Cash and Ash.”
Despite myself, a small giggle escaped. “Yeah. Cash and Ash.”
The promise in her voice combined with the small humor loosened the tension in my chest, but only momentarily.
I glanced at the monitor again. Ash looked different from the man I remembered before prison.
Harder. More watchful. But beneath, I could still see glimpses of the person who had genuinely loved our daughter, even if he had never truly loved me.
I pulled Hannah a few steps away from the desk, lowering my voice.
“He’s a good person. And Lily’s father. But I’m not ready to have him here, in our space.
” The words tumbled out in a nervous rush.
“And I know he’s wearing a Kiss of Death cut now.
Does that change things? Will the club expect you to side with him because he’s one of them? ”
The fear simmering beneath the surface finally found its voice. Ash might be new to Kiss of Death, but he shared their bond. What if their loyalty to him outweighed their promises to me?
Hannah’s expression grew fierce. “Listen to me carefully, Eliza. The men respect our boundaries. This place belongs to the women. Period. If you say he doesn’t enter, then he doesn’t enter. Not even Knuckles would override your decision.”
Her certainty was reassuring, but I still hesitated. “Lily asked about him yesterday. She remembers the chocolate chip pancakes with faces he used to make for her when he was around.”
Hannah’s lips curved into a small, understanding smile. “Children need their fathers when those fathers are good men. And from everything you’ve said, Ash is a good man who made bad choices.”
“He is,” I agreed reluctantly. “Just not a man I can depend on.”
Hannah nodded. “You don’t have to let him into your life to let him into Lily’s.
We can arrange supervised visits here, in the common room.
You set the boundaries; we enforce them.
Me and Pippa will see to it personally. Trust me when I tell you no one will mess with me.
And Pippa is Knuckles’ daughter, so even if her husband wasn’t the vice president of Kiss of Death, her father is the president.
Ash isn’t going to give either of us shit. ”
I nodded. “Because you’re the president’s old lady.”
Hannah shook her head, giving me slightly deranged looking, wide grin. “Oh no. He’s not going to give me shit because I will shank him when he least expects it. Or when he knows it’s coming. Either scenario ends in him getting the plunge.”
Her statement and the fact I could tell she was totally serious, really should have freaked me out. Instead, I actually felt better. “OK,” I said finally. “He can see her in the common room. But will you really be there? You and Pippa?”
“Absolutely,” Hannah agreed immediately. “I’ll shoot Pippa a text, and we’ll talk to him before bringing him in.”
She returned to the intercom, pressing the button to speak. “Ash, right? Have a seat next to the door and I’ll be out with you in a bit to explain things.”
I couldn’t hear his response through the monitor, but his posture straightened, his nod visible even on the small screen.
Hannah exited the security door between the community common room and the lobby, then she stepped outside into the parking lot where Asher sat on the bench in front of the door to New Beginnings.
The bench had been placed there on purpose so anyone inside could see who waited outside.
She had a short conversation with Ash. He nodded several times, then they both headed into the lobby of Haven. His gaze found mine immediately, gratitude and apprehension mingling in his expression.
“Thanks for letting me come,” he said, his voice rougher than I remembered. “I appreciate it, Eliza.”
I nodded stiffly, unable to form a response. I didn’t want to reveal the storm of emotions churning inside me. Hannah gestured toward the common room.
“Lily’s playing with the other children. Why don’t you come sit down, and I’ll let her know you’re here.”
Ash followed Hannah. I trailed behind them, my heart racing as we entered the bright, open space where Lily sat cross-legged on the floor, coloring with Brynn.
The older child had taken Lily under her wing, even though Brynn and Lavender were with Knight and didn’t live inside Haven.
The sight of her, so peaceful and engaged, squeezed my heart.
“Lily,” I called softly. “Someone’s here to see you, baby.”
She looked up, crayon poised mid-stroke. Her eyes widened as she spotted Ash standing awkwardly beside me. “Daddy?” The question held uncertainty.
“Hey, Lily-pad,” Ash replied, his voice cracking slightly around the nickname.
Lily stood slowly, clutching her coloring book against her chest like a shield. She looked to me for reassurance, and I forced a smile, nodding my encouragement.
“Your dad came to visit you,” I explained. “He wanted to see how you’re doing.”
Ash lowered himself onto one of the couches, keeping his movements slow and non-threatening. “I thought maybe we could hang out for a bit. If that’s OK with you.”
Lily approached cautiously, stopping just out of reach. “Do you still know how to make pancake faces?”
The simple question broke through the tension. Ash’s face softened, the ghost of his old smile appearing. “Sure do. Maybe we can make some together another time.”
Lily considered this, then nodded solemnly. She took a seat beside him on the couch, though with a careful space between them. “I got medicine now,” she informed him. “For my special bones.”
“I heard,” Ash replied. “Your mom told me. You’ve been really brave, huh?”
Their conversation continued, halting and awkward but gradually warming as Lily showed him her coloring book and the new drawings she’d added to her cast. I watched from a few feet away, my emotions tangled and complex.
Relief Lily wasn’t distressed. Sadness for the years they’d lost. Anxiety about what Ash’s reappearance meant for our future.
I knew I absolutely didn’t love Asher. At least, not more than a close friend.
He was Lily’s father, but, deep down, I knew we’d never last. He needed excitement in the fast lane with his friends, and I just wanted to sing.
Not out on the road like he’d pushed me to do.
Just for myself. My community. Maybe a small hole-in-the-wall bar only a few people knew about.
Karaoke at Throttle had been right up my alley.
The sound of the security door buzzing again pulled my attention away from Lily and Ash. I glanced toward the entrance just as Cash walked in, his familiar leather cut and broad shoulders sending an involuntary flutter through my stomach.
When I’d first come to Haven, Hannah had assured me no one got to see me or Lily unless I approved it.
Including Cash. At the time I’d been relieved he couldn’t be here unless I’d expressly said he could.
And that’s the way it had been. Until I told Hannah he could come visit me and Lily, he’d only been allowed inside at my discretion.
It was because Hannah had kept her word from the beginning could I allow Ash to be with Lily now, knowing he was part of Kiss of Death.
Cash scanned the room, finding me before shifting to Lily and Ash on the couch.
His expression darkened, his body tensing visibly as he registered the scene.
Without conscious thought, Cash moved toward us, positioning himself subtly closer to me and creating an invisible barrier between Ash and what I suddenly realized he had begun to consider his territory. His own family to protect.
The air between the two men crackled with unspoken challenge. Cash’s stance widened slightly, his shoulders squaring as he stopped beside me. Though he didn’t touch me, the heat from his body radiated against my side.
“Everything OK here?” Cash asked, his voice deliberately casual despite the tension evident in every line of his body.
“Fine,” I answered quickly, suddenly afraid of what might happen if these two men decided to mark their territory. “Ash is just visiting Lily.”