Paxton
Why the fuck did she play with me like that knowing how I felt? I asked myself that repeatedly and never seemed to produce a good enough answer. Yani took offense when she thought I called her a hoe a while back, but she damn sure maneuvered like one.
I sat and watched her shed tears behind a nigga that caused her so much pain, yet she ran back to him without so much as a second thought. I thought we were good and working toward something real, but she quickly hit me with her truth. It hurt. That was something I couldn’t deny.
My family was very close so when I revealed to them the type of time Yani was on, they immediately wanted to write her off.
However, I had to remind them that my personal issues weren’t theirs and if they still wanted to have a relationship with her, they could.
I wasn’t going to stop that. Hen and Pay had already formed some kind of connection with her and I wouldn’t dare tarnish their bond.
“She might as well stop hitting my line. I said what the fuck I had to say already.”
“You really cut her off because of the shit her friend did?”
“You damn right. Her loyalty is supposed to be to me, not her friend. She knew that you were getting played and she ain’t say shit. That ain’t even what fucked me up behind her. It was the simple fact that she was about to lie to me for Yani.”
“Jo she ain’t have shit to do with this for real. She was caught up in a tough situation. She been friends with Yani since they were kids, and you just came into her life. Her loyalty is going to be with Yani no matter who you are.”
“That’s not how relationships roll bro, especially not with me. I told her from jump that I didn’t like that sheisty shit.”
It wasn’t funny but I couldn’t avoid laughing at him.
He was treating Dawn worse than I was treating Yani and she was the culprit behind all this.
Dawn was just an innocent bystander in my book.
If she knew, she knew, but that was just her being a friend to her homegirl.
Jo had to let that go. I liked them two together.
“Nigga she withheld information. It’s the same shit you’d want her to do from the police if you got knocked. Stall her out.”
“Who’s to say she ain’t doing the same exact thing as her friend? We already established that birds of a feather flock together and it’s four of them muthafuckas.”
That brought out another genuine laugh. I met Calina and Winnie but had more time with Calina due to us sharing the sky box seats at the basketball games. We got close over time, and she was cool with me. Her friends were just catching the backlash because of how loyal they were to her.
“I don’t think so. She tried talking to me at Hen’s party, but I wasn’t fuckin’ with it. I really ain’t got nothing to say to her ass.”
“I saw her pop up, but I was clocking Dawn’s ass the entire time. Some nigga was trying to get her attention all night. They really thirsty out here.”
I gave a confused look because he was just popping shit about not wanting anything to do with her but followed her around the entire function. He was conflicted about his future with Dawn the same way I was with Yani.
“Seems to me like you’re the thirsty one, and who the hell is that on my damn bell like that?”
I set the pool stick down and made my way to the front door where the mail lady was waiting with a package in tow. I hadn’t ordered anything and the gifts that Yani used to send were automatically returned. I was curious as to what it could be.
“Hi Mr. Hughes. Sorry to bother you but this package needs to be signed for.” She handed over her device with a smile.
“It’s alright Ms. Clark. You’re never a bother.” I quickly gave her my John Handcock and accepted the package.
“You have a good day and tell your mother I enjoyed her party.”
“Yes ma’am. Enjoy your evening.”
I returned to the family room with Josiaha acting like the box was for him. He couldn’t wait to see what it was. That was one thing he never grew out of as a child. He always wanted what was mine.
“Nigga back up,” I said as I set it down on the pool table.
He waved me off and stood closely waiting to see what was inside. I took my time opening it just to fuck with him. He was too anxious about some shit that didn’t belong to him.
“The hell is all that?”
What didn’t register to him, did to me. Yani sent back everything I purchased for her and what she couldn’t give back, she gave cash for.
There was an envelope full of new, crisp blue faces.
Jo couldn’t tell but her returning everything low key hurt a nigga.
I noticed there was a card as well and I was hesitant on seeing what was inside.
“Everything I purchased for her over the time we spent together.”
“Nigga when the fuck did you buy this?” He held up the necklace that was sent before her dress. When she wore it to the party, I couldn’t help but rise at how beautiful she looked.
“Not too long ago. It was before game night.”
I removed the card from the box and went to have a seat on the sofa. Curiosity had me by the throat, but I didn’t want to be disappointed any more than I already was.
“Just get it over with.” I looked up to see Josiaha looking my way.
Fuck it! I ripped into it and released a deep breath before officially seeing what was inside. When I opened the card, a photo fell into my lap. I immediately knew what it was due to having several of Tiana.
Picking it up, I saw that it was two sacks, and the words twins were typed in the middle.
I was holding back so many emotions because I called her being pregnant before all this bullshit went down.
I couldn’t stop staring at them. They were already a nigga’s pride and joy, and I hadn’t heard a heartbeat or anything.
Finally giving my attention to her note, I began to read what she had to say.
First off, I want to apologize for causing you any hurt, harm, or pain.
Producing anything other than a smile isn’t something I ever wanted to do.
There’s no excuse as to why I treated you so poorly.
My conflicted heart should’ve taken the time to properly heal but I didn’t, and I hurt the person I love behind it.
Regardless of what you may think, you walking out of my life damaged me more than the betrayal I received from the man I gave ten years to.
We shared moments that I don’t want to let go of and because of how secure you made me I allowed you to take me and love me however you chose.
The outcome of that are these little ones for which I am tremendously grateful.
I couldn’t give Trust another child after Brendon, but God blessed me with two for you.
All I ask is that you give all the love that you had in store for me to them.
You can feel however you want toward me, but they have nothing to do with us.
My next appointment won’t be until next month. I didn’t know I was so far along, but it seems as if they were conceived the night of the game. I don’t regret a second I spent with you Paxton, but I know that I have some self healing to do before I end up hurting someone else. I love you dearly.
The last time I cried, I was burying my fiancé and child. That feeling felt like I was ripped in half with the better half of me leaving permanently. Somehow, I was experiencing the same thing all over again with the woman I had fallen for.
I was a man that didn’t show emotions behind anyone but my family, yet here I was shedding silent tears because of the events that transpired between Yani and I.
She got me locked in to her mentally, physically, and recently, emotionally.
She was my new reason to smile and now she housed two of my kids in her womb.
That alone had a nigga’s thoughts running wild.
“What the fuck wrong with you?” Jo asked as he approached me with a concerned look.
I handed over the ultrasound and card and let him experience it for himself. All of this could’ve been avoided if Yani would’ve kept it hot and let me know what she was battling with. I respected the truth no matter how harsh it could be at times.
“Damn. How you feel about all this?”
“I love her no doubt but the way she moved was mad wild. Then she hit me with this and now a nigga in the same predicament as her. I’m dealing with a conflicted heart too.”
“Did you even look at this good? Judging from the due date, she’s four months. Y’all about to know what y’all having soon if she doesn’t already know.”
“What I do though Jo? Like I’m going to take care of my family regardless, but what do I do regarding her? She played the fuck out of me.”
“I mean, technically, she didn’t. Y’all were never exclusive and to be honest, I think she made it that way because she knew herself. I was hard on her ass at first, but Dawn sent me a long message trying to explain the shit to me. I just ain’t hit her back yet.”
We weren’t official but that didn’t change how we treated each other. We loved on one another as if we had been together for years. There wasn’t shit anyone could tell me about what Yani and I shared. I was all in, but it was clear that she wasn’t.
“She’s giving me privileges to the babies, but she states she needs time to heal and get herself together.
I’m telling you now that if I lay eyes on her and see her swollen belly, I’m going against her wishes.
She fucked up and I wanted her to feel it but damn, I don’t want her stressing while she’s pregnant. ”
“I feel you. I say meet her for like a dinner or something and y’all discuss that shit in person. It’ll be real timing and real emotions. Finally get on the same page and shit.”
I was going to take him up on his suggestion. The least she could do was have a conversation face-to-face so I could get some peace behind all this.
“Twins man. Call me crazy but I think that’s God giving me a do over. Tiana was taken too early and now I got two getting ready to come into the world.”