Yani
“Ithought you told him about this appointment. We’re done and he still hasn’t shown.”
“I’m not even going to sweat it, Winnie.
I did my part and that’s that. It’s been a month since we’ve spoken outside of business, and I don’t know if it’s because of him not genuinely wanting anything to do with us or what.
I won’t stress over another man though. These girls aren’t going to wait on their parents to get it right. ”
“I’m so happy for you friend. You’ve wanted a daughter for so long and now you have two. God has his hands on you right now.”
“I’m glad he does. I’ve been able to wake up with less regret and more joy in my heart.
I really needed to get out of every entanglement and focus on me before trying to give someone else my damn time.
A big accomplishment is me being over Trust. We coparent and surprisingly, Xara has dropped the bullshit.
She’s not welcome in my house or anything like that but we’re cordial for the kid’s sake. ”
To say that I had matured was an understatement.
Time was literally healing everything. Trust was a heartbreaker for me, but for Xara, he’d changed.
He did what he could, and I couldn’t front on who he wanted to play by the rules for.
I had moved on and was in a better space with him.
I had no plans of altering what we had in motion.
He also did me a big favor. He finally explained to Brendon what Paxton was to me and made him promises he swore to keep this go round.
Brendon wasn’t trying to hear it at first but when he understood his parents were no longer one, Paxton soon became a favorite of his.
He asked about him often and now I felt like Paxton owed him.
“Well, off him and on to you. I’m excited for this launch party. Buy a Heart and 50 Shades of Melanin for the win with black love. I can’t wait to see how it was accepted by the beta testers.”
“Girl, I’m so nervous about that because I redid those questions several times. Hopefully, it works out.”
“It will. I have some time to grab some food. You want to get some tacos?”
“Talking about food makes me cum.”
“Eww bitch. I didn’t need to know that. Let’s just go.”
I chuckled as Winnie and I gathered our belongings to head to this taco joint around the corner from her office. The happiness I felt for food nowadays had grown. I found myself in emotional states behind it.
Being with Winnie helped me as well. She had been the most caring one during my whole pregnancy.
While Calina had a relationship she was investing more time in, Dawn just wasn’t speaking to me.
She really felt like I caused her a relationship with Josiaha to end.
I wasn’t going to kiss her ass or apologize repeatedly.
If she wanted to lose a friendship behind a man, so be it. I wasn’t stressing anything anymore.
We walked out of her office sharing a genuine laugh. The day was pretty with the sun shining bright. I didn’t have a care in the world as I prepared myself to indulge in a few rounds of tacos. My appetite had increased severely.
Winnie drove and we were pulling up to our destination ten minutes later. The smell had me ready to let loose. Food was my everything right now. Stepping out, we made our way inside and quickly ordered before the server was able to walk away. We knew what we wanted because we visited every week.
“How you been feeling friend? Emotionally, physically, mentally, all that?”
“I am battling with my feelings for Paxton still, but other than that I am perfectly fine. I’m focusing on me, but I thought he would’ve been more hands on and wanting to be that overprotective father. I guess I expected too much.”
“My mother said if you don’t expect anything then you won’t be disappointed. You’re taking time so allow him his. I don’t think he’s beefing with you though. Everybody and their mama see’s the love he holds for you anytime he’s around you.”
“Doesn’t feel like he cares anymore to be honest.”
“I get that, but I feel like that’s something you’ve concocted in your head. Paxton is a nice guy. Is it possible that y’all just had bad timing?”
I thought on that throughout the day. We crossed that line of business early on and stayed there instead of retracting and getting back to the initial reason for the conversation. We had many chances to ex out the pleasure, but it seemed more troubling to let go of that than anything.
“Possibly, but I’m a firm believer in what’s for me will be for me. If Paxton and I are meant to be, God will make sure of it.”
Talking about Paxton wasn’t something I wanted to do this afternoon. He had already missed an important appointment and I was low key emotional behind that. Our children were involved, not just me. I thought he would’ve cared more.
“I can tell you’re getting in your bag so let’s change the conversation. I saw that Brendon was advertising wanting to become a gamer. How’s that coming along?”
“Girl he is seven but is so damn smart. He’s redid his room and everything to fit the prosthetics of one. I can’t tell you how much I hate going in there and all I hear is chat this and chat that. I be so confused on who he be talking to.”
Winnie laughed because out of all four of us, I was the only one with children. They spoil Brendon and leave me to deal with the monster afterward. It was aggravating as well as nerve wrecking at times.
“He asked for a new gaming chair the other day, so I bought him one that charges his controller, play music, and all that other mess. It’ll be there sometime this week.”
I gave her a look that said she was doing too much. That was something else I would have to call his father for. Everybody was getting on my last good nerve buying him shit that he didn’t need.
“Why Winnie? He’s freaking seven.”
“And he has a YouTube channel already with a thousand subscribers and some damn thing called Twitch. He told me he could make money off that.”
“Jesus Christ. Who introduced him to that?”
“Ask Calina because he’s over there twice a week with Terell.
That doesn’t matter though. You need to have a conversation with him and see what he wants to do because if he’s doing great in school as well then this should be his reward and we should invest more.
At least see if he’s any good and go from there. ”
“I will. Where is the food? Y’all got me stressing already. I need that to keep me from feeling overwhelmed.”
“You’re just greedy friend.”
“Blame your niece’s man. I didn’t ask for this.”
Minutes later the waiter returned with our tray of tacos, and we dove right in. I enjoyed time with her. Winnie had always been the one that stayed out of our drama but made sure we were still good in the same sense. I was grateful for her company throughout my pregnancy.
The food was devoured within the next thirty minutes with us both holding very minimal conversation. Our mouths were full majority of the time anyhow. I was too tired to drive but Winnie had to get back to work so I dropped her off and headed home to prop my feet up. I was drained.
I cruised through the city and enjoyed the sights along the way.
My vibe had been so positive lately that I couldn’t help but carry a smile on my face.
So much chaos happened that I welcomed on anything that brought me rays of sunshine.
Spending time with my family, friends, and just basking in my pregnancy seemed to keep me uplifted.
By the time I made it home, I wanted dessert.
The girls had me eating damn near every hour and I was blowing up like a house because of it.
They had me wanting some cake and ice cream.
I anxiously walked inside heading straight for the kitchen knowing I had what I desired in the fridge. I couldn’t wait.
Opening the door, I was surprised by how empty it was.
I knew I wasn’t tripping because the last time I went shopping was when…
shit! The last time I went shopping was weeks ago when Rell spent the night.
Brendon and I had been ordering food nonstop since then.
Without me even realizing it, I had started to shed tears.
All I wanted was to come home and relax with a slice of cake and some damn ice cream.
If I called Trust to bring me what I wanted, he would come running, but these girls weren’t his responsibility.
I laid down with a man that didn’t even care to know their gender.
However, he knew a thing or two about food because he never missed when he sent it to my office. Oh what the hell.
I picked up my cell and dialed his number. All I wanted from him was my treats and then he could continue to ignore us. The line rung and he didn’t bother to answer. I threw my cell on the counter and began to cry boohoo tears. I was emotional behind some ice cream and cake.
When the phone rung, I answered sobbing into the receiver. “Hello.”
“What’s wrong, Yani? Are you okay? Is something hurting?”
“Can you bring me some ice cream and cake please?”
He let out a light laugh and that hurt my feelings. “You’re laughing at my pain now? So, we been a joke to you huh?”
“No Yani. Is cake and ice cream all you want beautiful?”
“For now, and can you hurry?”
“I’m on the way.”
Hearing that he was on his way with my goodies brought a smile to my face. Being pregnant caused my moods to bounce around a lot but food was always the cure. If I was fed, then I was pretty much content.
I went to unlock the front door so that he could let himself in. I was about to get my fireplace going and cuddle up on the sofa as I watched Lifetime. I hated that I couldn’t indulge in a tall glass of wine. It was calling my name. Grabbing my throw, I got comfortable and waited for it to arrive.
“Baby wake up. I got something for you.”