Chapter 13
KAI
As I sat there watching Alex scroll through Wikipedia, I drifted into my own head.
He was right.
We didn’t have much time left.
We should have been working.
But I found myself watching him instead - the way he scrolled down the screen, the way his hair kept falling into his eyes, the way he seemed so focused and so far away at the same time.
And the truth was, I wanted to talk to him. Really talk to him.
Find out more. Peel back the layers that were Alex Taylor - layers he kept wrapped so tightly around himself it was like he’d been stitched shut.
I mean, I knew nothing about the boy. Literally nothing. Half the town seemed to know all about his brother, and I was standing here with no clue. And it was weird - like he’d come out of nowhere. He must’ve been in Belrose for ages, but I’d never seen him before Callum’s party.
And now, he was everywhere.
In all my classes.
In my local shop.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned up on my street corner selling to the local hippies at this point.
No, but seriously… I wanted to know him. And more than that - I wanted to understand him.
There was something about the way he shut down when I mentioned the dealing and his brother that put me on edge.
If this guy were my brother, I wouldn’t want him anywhere near drugs, let alone selling them to strange people.
And believe me, Belrose had plenty of those.
The kind you didn’t want to be alone with.
The kind you didn’t want a kid like Alex dealing with.
But what could I do?
I could tell he didn’t want me asking questions. Not the real ones. Not the ones that poked at the edges of his private life. And fair enough - everyone’s entitled to privacy.
Still, I couldn’t ignore the strange pull I felt toward him. This need to befriend him. To uncover whatever he was hiding beneath that quiet voice and those careful smiles.
Every time he brushed his hair out of his eyes, the computer screen lit up the scratches on his face. They weren’t obvious, but they were there - faint lines catching the light. And every time I noticed them, something in me tightened.
I wanted to ask. I wanted to know. But it felt… wrong. Like crossing a line I hadn’t earned the right to cross.
Why did it feel rude?
Why did it feel like I shouldn’t know?
Maybe because it wasn’t any of my fucking business. Maybe because I barely knew him.
So I kept my mouth shut.
And stuck with a question less invasive.
“How come I never saw you before?” I asked him. My voice sounded weirdly loud after ten straight minutes of nothing but quiet comments about what to put on the slides.
“Huh?” He turned his face toward me.
“I mean… I saw you at Callum’s party, yeah. But never in school. Never in my classes.” The second the words left my mouth, I felt like an actual creep.
Why did I care?
Why did it sound like I’d been tracking his every move?
I let out a mental sigh of relief when he didn’t look at me like I was insane or tell me to piss off. Not that I thought he would - but the fear was there all the same.
“Oh, I-erm…” He pushed his hair back, his eyes flicking to the screen before darting away again.
“I wasn’t in any of the top sets, that’s probably why.
Honestly, I didn’t even think I’d get the grades to make it into sixth form.
” He let out a small, embarrassed laugh.
“But then I actually started studying, took school seriously for once, and somehow my GCSEs turned out good.” A small smile tugged at his mouth as he lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “So… here I am.”
“Shit!” I said, grinning. “Well done, Goldie!”
… Goldie? What the hell was I calling him Goldie for?
“Goldie?” He looked at me, confused - and honestly, same. But I had to play it off, make it sound intentional, like I hadn’t just invented a nickname out of thin air because my brain short-circuited around him.
“It’s my nickname for you,” I said with a shrug, trying to sound casual. “It was because of the goldfish thing, but now I guess it can be for gold star.”
Smooth. Real smooth.
He blinked at me for a second, like he was trying to decide whether I was messing with him or just an idiot. Then the corner of his mouth twitched - not quite a smile, but close enough to make me feel relieved.
“Thanks, I guess.” He nodded, still smiling but almost shy about it.
“I mean, the work’s harder, and I’m probably going to have to study a lot more than most people in our year and retake English, but it’s good.
” He gestured vaguely at the computer, like he was trying to convince himself as much as me.
“I can help you study if you want,” I said - before my brain even caught up with my mouth.
What are you doing?
He looked at me, eyebrows pulling together, his brown eyes wide and soft, like he was trying to figure out what I meant. Or why I’d offered. He didn’t say anything, and the silence made my chest tighten.
“I mean… only if you want,” I added quickly, rubbing the back of my neck. “You’re doing Macbeth, right?”
He nodded, eyes flicking up to mine.
“ Stars, hide your fires; let not light see my black and deep desires ,” I said in my best Shakespearean accent, lifting a hand dramatically.
I quoted Macbeth.
I fucking quoted Macbeth.
Was I losing my mind?
Alex let out a soft chuckle, his brows pulling together as he stared at me like I’d just grown a second head.
“What was that?” he laughed, disbelief colouring his voice. He shook his head, still smiling.
“Just showing you I can help,” I said with an awkward shrug, trying to play it cool even though my ears were burning. “Fun fact about me: I used to want to be an actor.”
“Really?” Alex asked, genuine intrigue lighting his face as he leaned in a little.
“Why, does that shock you?” I raised my brows, folding my arms to hide how flustered I felt.
“I just didn’t know the Kai Fields was so torn between theatre and football.” He chuckled - a real laugh - and something in me softened around the edges.
“It’s true,” I said, a little too enthusiastically. “I went to drama school and everything.”
Why was I telling him this?
“What happened?” he asked, tilting his head. “Why’d you stop?”
“I realised I could kick a ball between the lines better than I could memorise them,” I said with a laugh, tapping my temple.
It was partly true. But the other reason was simpler, and heavier.
After Dad died, I realised the only place I ever felt close to him anymore was on the pitch - like every run, every kick, every breath out there pulled me back to him.
“I dunno,” he said, nudging me lightly with his elbow, “you seemed to have Macbeth down pretty good.”
“Good enough to let me help you?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows.
“We already have this assignment together, so what’s the harm in throwing in another subject?
” I shrugged again, trying to look casual even though my pulse was doing laps.
I’d never tutored anyone in my life - and here I was offering myself up to Alex Taylor of all people.
He looked like he was actually thinking about it. And when he smiled - small, almost surprised - something warm bloomed in my chest.
“Okay. Yeah, sure,” he said, before turning back to the computer like nothing had happened.
And nothing really had happened.
So why was my heart beating faster now that he had said yes?
The bell rang and Alex jumped slightly at the sound of it.
“You okay?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He said swiftly, saving the PowerPoint and logging out. “When do you want to do this again?” He fiddled with his sleeves.
“It depends - are we doing after school or…?”
“I can’t do after school.” He said it quickly. Too quickly. “Not this week at least.” His eyes darted around the room like they didn’t know where to land.
“Okay… well, the boys and I have a friendly at lunch tomorrow, but I can do Friday?” I offered.
“Okay, that works.” He smiled, then got up slowly.
But the second he straightened, a pained expression twisted across his face. He grabbed at his torso and froze, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as he took a couple of careful breaths - like he was trying to settle something deep inside him.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, the worry hitting me faster than I expected.
“Oh, I-” He looked over at me, one hand gripping the back of the chair for support. “I fell off my bike the other night. It’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” I said, watching him straighten up again. “Have you had it checked out? Do you want me to walk you to the nurse?”
He shook his head quickly. “I’m fine, really.”
And to be fair to him, he did look more normal again. The colour had come back in his face and his posture was less tense.
“You sure?”
He nodded.
“Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. I turned toward the door but hesitated, unsure if I should leave him like that. And he just… stood there. Like he wasn’t sure what to do next either.
“You coming?” I asked, expecting him to walk out with me.
“No, you go.” He shook his head. “I’ve just got to do something quickly.” There was something uncertain in his voice - something that made my pulse quicken - but I had to get to form. So I gave him a smile and did what he asked.
“See you Friday, Goldie.”
“See you Friday.” He chuckled softly.
And I left the room.
But as I walked down the hall, the image of him clutching his side wouldn’t leave my head. I was actually considering turning around - going back for him - but then Callum came out of nowhere and practically jumped on my back.
“Get off me, you big fuck,” I laughed, wrestling him off.
“Alright, Cap,” he said. “Where you been all lunch? Brycee wanted to finally beat you at the crossbar challenge.”
“Like that’ll ever happen.” I shook my head as Callum fell into step beside me.
“I know, mate, he’s dreaming ,” he said, dragging the word out dramatically and throwing his head back.
“I was with Alex, working on the assignment for Miss King,” I said, my eyes drifting back to the computer room door one last time before we turned the corner.
“Oh, yeah.” Callum tipped a few Tic Tacs into his mouth. “I need to get mine done. I’m hoping Rebecca will do it all for me.”
“You can’t be like that, man,” I said, shaking my head. “That’s a bad sport.”
“Watch me,” he said with a laugh. Then he waved a hand. “Nah, I’m only messing.”
“I know. Only because Rebecca wouldn’t think twice about snitching on you, and it’s worth thirty percent.” I pushed open the double door, it squeaked on its hinges.
“Yeah, she’s a quiet one. You always have to watch out for those.” He wagged a finger in my face, crunching on the tic tacs.
“She didn’t seem very quiet when she was giving Dwayne a bollocking for talking to Cassie,” I said, reminiscing to their spat last year.
“Exactly. They seem all innocent and then-BOOM.” He slapped a hand to my chest, stopping me in the hallway before carrying on. “Out of nowhere, they’ll eat you alive.” His minty breath drifted close as I laughed.
The guy was mental.
And then, like divine timing, Rebecca turned the corner and shot Callum a look.
“Alright, Bex,” Callum said, folding his arms, eyes following her with that certain charm he had whenever something even resembling female came close.
She pulled a hand from her pocket and gave him a sly middle finger without even turning fully toward him.
Callum clutched his chest dramatically, feigning heartbreak. Rebecca chuckled and kept walking. Then Callum looked at me, jaw dropped.
“It’s alright, lad, you’ll get over it,” I said, guiding him into form.
“See what I mean? Looks all innocent, but there’s a fire within her,” he said, dropping into his seat. “I feel sorry for Dwayne.”
“He’s a big boy, lad,” I said. “I’m sure he can handle it.”
But even as I sat down, my mind drifted back to the computer room - back to Alex gripping his side, his face tightening in pain. The image stuck to me like a burr. And the thought of him hurting, actually hurting, made something in my chest twist.
I didn’t know why. I just knew it wouldn’t let go.