Chapter 18 Dreka
Chapter Eighteen
Dreka
My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of my damn head as I stared at the positive pregnancy test. Grabbing the box it came in, I checked it over to make sure it wasn’t one of those prank pregnancy tests.
There was nothing that indicated that this was a fake test, which made my heart thump harder than it ever had in my entire life.
Flipping the test itself over and over again in my hand, I was waiting for a just kidding to replace the pregnant on the display, but nothing happened.
Nothing besides the word continuously flashing at me, telling me what I couldn’t believe.
Because how the fuck was this possible? Every single morning, I took my birth control, without fail.
And when it was my week of placebo pills, Xy and I couldn’t have sex because my period was on.
When we were younger, that didn’t mean shit to him.
If he wanted to fuck, then he would, regardless of if I was bleeding or not, but now my periods were pretty heavy, so I didn’t enjoy period sex.
Therefore, we didn’t do it on my period, and yes, I knew he had been shooting my club up like he had a vendetta, but that still didn’t explain a positive pregnancy test. Not when I’d been doing the very thing to prevent it.
I continued staring at the test as if I were waiting for it to tell me the exact day this shit happened.
Nausea barreled through my stomach, and then it slowly started clicking.
All of the emotional moments I’d been having, the cravings, the unexplained tears…
it wasn’t my period about to start. It was a fuckin’ baby.
Xyleek’s baby. I loved him, but our relationship was just starting to pan out, so having a child with him was the least ideal thing I could think of.
Yet, I knew if I told him I was carrying his seed, he’d want me to keep it, and that was the last thing on my mind.
“Dreka?” Rae knocked on the bathroom door before pushing it open and sticking her head inside. “What’s the verdict, shorty?”
My mouth opened as I slowly looked over at her, but no words came out, only tears.
I dropped the plastic piece of betrayal to the floor and started sobbing like someone told me the devil was on his way to get me.
Because that’s what it fuckin’ felt like.
A gahdamn demon seed had attached itself to my uterus without my permission, and that thought sent me into a spiral.
Rae soothingly wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight. “Shit, Drek. It’s gon’ be okay.”
“No, it’s not!” I wailed in complete shock. “How! Tell me how! Hmm? Since you know everything and got ya fuckin’ degree!”
“Rahdreka,” she pulled away and laughed while shaking her head.
“You’re so gahdamn dramatic,” wiping my tears, she squatted right in front of me.
“It will be okay. You’re panicking right now, and that’s a normal response,” she touched my knee cap.
“But you know that you won’t be alone in any of this, Drek.
You got me, Ken, your parents, hell, even Xy’s family.
Whatever you choose to do, I got your back every step of the way. ”
Putting my face into my hands, all I could do was cry.
None of this shit was adding up, and it was even worse because Xy had been constantly accusing me of being pregnant.
Ever since Christmas morning when I had an extreme case of nausea due to the smell of ham, he’d been asking me if I was sure I wasn’t pregnant.
And gahdammit, I was sure, so I didn’t understand why he kept pressing me about it.
It was almost as if he knew, but again, it just didn’t make sense.
“Rae, he would want this baby so bad,” I whispered after nearly five minutes of crying.
“He would, but what do you want?” She gently tugged at my hands, forcing me to look at her.
“I don’t want this baby. I can’t have it right now, not knowing if in a month or two, Xyleek is gon’ pull some bullshit.”
She nodded in understanding. “I get it. He doesn’t have the best track record, and if you’re not ready, then he can’t make you be ready.
You’re allowed to choose you first, and that’s okay.
Especially when the relationship is already fragile.
Adding a baby into the mix is gonna be the thing that makes it crack for good, orrrrr…
it can be the thing that strengthens y’all’s relationship.
Either way, your heart and mind have to be entirely sure about raising a baby with him. ”
“I feel wrong for even thinking it,” tears started to build up in my eyes again. “For thinking I want to kill it.”
“Don’t. It’s not the wrong choice if you believe you could be bringing a baby into chaos. And you don’t have to decide right now or tomorrow or a week from now. Maybe you should go home, sleep and think on it, and see how you feel then.”
“Should I tell him?” I questioned with a range of emotions swelling my chest.
Her shoulders slowly moved upward. “That has to be your decision, sis. I know that if you do decide to tell him, then he’s going to be over the moon with excitement, so getting rid of it won’t be an option anymore.
At the same time, it’s your body, your choice, so he can’t force you to keep it either. ”
We both made a face each other because we knew damn well if Xy wanted me to keep this baby, then I’d be giving birth in however many months from now. Our laughter filled the bathroom, even though my mind was still on a spiral.
“Yeah, he’s in love and insane, so you’d definitely be keeping it,” she giggled, standing back up and leaning against the bathroom wall. “Maybe just take tonight to think about it before you tell him.”
“I can’t go in the house with this on my mind, Rae. He’s like a bloodhound and knows when anything is wrong with me.”
“I would offer you to stay here, but that nigga will have a fuckin’ task force kicking my door in to bring you home,” she threw her hands up like someone yelled freeze, making me laugh even harder.
“I love you, man.”
She smiled warmly. “I love you, too. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
I nodded and once she was out of the bathroom, I grabbed some tissue to wipe myself with. That was how I knew Raven really loved me ‘cause the bitch came in the bathroom while I was still sitting on the toilet and didn’t even flinch. Our friendship was just that deep though.
Gathering myself, I picked the pregnancy test up and gazed at it once more.
Yeah, Xy was damn sure gon’ know something was up, but at least I had an almost hour drive to our house to really think on things.
Truthfully, there wasn’t shit to think about.
I couldn’t keep this baby. Recapping the test, I stuck it in my hoodie pocket, washed my hands, and then exited the bathroom.
“Damn bitch,” I chuckled when I walked into the kitchen and saw Rae pouring out our drinks that contained liquor. “I’m only five seconds pregnant, and you already taking away my right to drink?”
“Just in case you decide to keep it, I can’t have my God child asking why I let you drink while they were in the womb.”
Shaking my head, I plopped down on the barstool, resting my head on my hands. “He’s going to know.”
“How?”
“Because he’s Xy. Remember that time he knew I was crying in the school bathroom, but nobody told him?”
She leaned her hip against the counter, folding her arms across her chest. “Yeah, his weird ass does have that supernatural intuition when it comes to you. You could sneeze right now, and he’d text you God bless you.”
“Raven!” I burst out laughing, which was much needed.
She shrugged with an amused smirk. “What? I ain’t lying. That nigga is tethered to you in a way that I’ve never seen before. It’s deeper than being soulmates. I don’t even know what to call it, but it’s something.”
“Yeah,” I sighed heavily, pulling at my cheeks. “What the fuck am I gon’ do?”
“Whatever is right for you. If that means lying to that nigga’s face so you can have a night of peace then bitch, you better lie like the FEDs on yo ass, and you got six bricks stuffed up yo pussy!” She pointed a finger at me.
“Rae, be serious!” I laughed some more at her mischievous expression.
“I am being serious, beloved,” she leaned forward on the island, holding my hands.
“This is your future, too, not just his. Xyleek is gonna be thinking from a him perspective on this matter, not a y’all perspective.
I don’t doubt that he’d be a good dad, Drek, I really don’t.
With the way he cares for you when he’s doing it right, it’s admirable, but then there’s the other side that’s not so great.
You have a lot to consider, and the decision isn’t easy, but it’s yours. ”
With tears in my eyes, I nodded, thankful for her friendship in the moment.
Makenna would’ve been cussing me out three ways from Sunday, telling me how stupid I am, and I didn’t want or need that right now.
After me and Rae talked and joked for another hour, I finally built up the courage to go home.
Before I walked inside, I transferred the pregnancy test from my pocket to my purse.
I just wanted to forget for the night that there was a life inside of me.
Thankfully, Xy wasn’t home yet, which gave me a little time to breathe, or so I thought.
Baby: What’s wrong, Angel?
Me: What? Nothing…?
Seconds later, a Facetime call came through from him. Rolling my eyes, I turned the lights off in the living room and pulled the throw blanket up to my eyes before I answered. From the background and how steady the screen looked, I could tell he was at the jewelry store.
“Yes?”
“You lying to me now?”
“I’m not lying about anything,” I calmly told him, hearing Raven’s advice in my head.
He sucked his teeth. “Bae, I saw you on the fuckin’ cameras when you walked up. Your eyes were puffy as hell, and they only look like that when you’ve been crying or you’re sick. You’re not sick, so why you been crying?”
“Me and Raven watched Selena.”
That part wasn’t a lie, we actually did watch it since it’s our favorite movie. I cried at the ending every single time, even though I knew what was coming.
“Your period started yet?” He pressed, squinting at me like he could see right through my wall of bullshit.
Now here was the real pressure cooker. I was a terrible liar, so whatever came out of my mouth next had the ability to make or break my night. Lie like there’s six keys of coke up your pussy.
“It’s about to start,” I blurted, sounding hella unsure of myself. “I’ve been cramping all day.”
“Angel,” he thumbed his nose and humorlessly chuckled. “Your cramps start the week before your period. You weren’t cramping last week, but you gon’ sit here and tell me you’re cramping today? C’mon now. If you gon’ lie, at least make the shit believable.”
Sucking my teeth, I settled further into the couch like I was trying to hide. I always thought it was so cute to have a nigga know everything about me until he truly knew everything about me. Gahdamn.
“Bye, Xyleek.”
“Bye is right. I’m on the way home with a pregnancy test.”
“I’m not taking it!”
“Baby, I don’t care if I have to tie you up, spread them lil’ pussy lips open, and make you piss my fuckin’ self. Either way, you gon’ piss on a stick this gahdamn day. Matter fact, don’t even worry about it because I know for a fact you pregnant,” he folded his arms across his chest and mugged me.
“You don’t know shit,” I scoffed, my thumb hovering over the button to end the call.
“Actually, I do. Those stupid ass packs of birth control? Yeah, fuckin’ sugar pills, Angel,” a gratified, arrogant smirk stretched his lips.
I shot straight up, similar to his dick whenever he was in my presence. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“You’ve been having that look in your eyes like you need something more from me, Angel. Like my words don’t mean as much as they used to, so I figured what better way to show you I’m serious than a baby?” He smoothly questioned as if he wasn’t telling me the most insane shit ever.
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head like bees were flying around me. “Run that by me one more time. Because I know good and gahdamn well I didn’t hear what I think I heard.”
“Drek, I—”
“And repeat that shit slow, like I’m stupid, nigga, because I just fuckin’ know you didn’t say that. You didn’t say that,” I laughed, tossing the blanket off me. “Nah, I’m delusional.”
He blinked casually, taking a seat at his desk. “I said what better way to show you how serious I am this time than to give us a baby.”
“US?!” I shouted from the deepest part of my gut. “The fuck do you mean, us, Xyleek? I didn’t consent to this shit! How did you switch out my birth control? I just went to the doctor a month ago for a refill.”
“I know your pharmacist, Angel. Shit, I know every member of your medical network,” he grinned, again, as if what he was saying was no big deal. “Why do you think everyone that treats you is a woman? You think I want any niggas being that close in your personal space? Hell nah.”
My eyes bucked as my mouth fell open. I was stunned into complete silence at all of these shocking revelations.
First, the nigga freely admitted to trapping me, and on top of that…
he knew every member of my damn medical team?
How the fuck did I not see this level of crazy in him?
Killing somebody for me? Okay, that was kinda romantic, but PUTTING A BABY IN ME?
! That was criminal, and I wanted him arrested eeeeeeeemejiaaaatellyyyyy.
“Sophia is a very sweet woman,” he said thoughtfully.
“That’s your pharmacist, in case you didn’t know.
Two beautiful twin boys and a loser of a fuckin’ husband.
It just reminds me of everything I never want to be for you, Angel.
I’m going to be the best husband and father.
I was planning to propose on Valentine’s Day but fuck it.
I’m coming home with the ring right now. I’ll see you in a minute, wifey.”
He dropped all that shit on me and then hung up as if he hadn’t just admitted to committing three gahdamn felonies.
I screamed at the top of my lungs out of frustration, irritation, confusion, and some other fucked up emotion that I couldn’t name.
Realizing that he said he was on his way home, I quickly sent Rae and Makenna a text that I was getting ghost for a while and to let my parents know.
The thought of staying in this God forsaken house made my titties itch.
I had to get away and get away quick. Did I know the consequences of running off on Xy again?
I did. Virginia was about to turn into murderville, but at this point, I did not give a single solitary fuck.
Running was the only option I had, so I had to go.