7. Chapter Seven #3
Nikolai returns to the room as if he knew I finally gave in. More likely he heard that I stopped screaming and came to check on me.
“How are you doing?” he asks.
Ice princess. Never crack.
“I am doing fine. You’re not going to break me, you know.”
His lips quirk. “I never said I wanted to break you, Lana. I just want to help you let go.”
“Why is that your job? I didn’t give you that job.”
“I take what I want. And I want to help you. You’re my wife and I care for you. Not many people get to hear that from me.”
“So I should consider myself lucky?”
“You’re feisty today. I guess a near-death experience will do that to a person. Tell me. Why did you cut yourself? Why exactly? You still haven’t said.”
“Will you let me go if I tell you?”
He shrugs. “If I think you’re telling me the truth, then yes. I’ll untie you.”
“I saw you torture that man and it scared me. I was upset over being given the role because of you. I just felt… overwhelmed. Oh, and your ex-girlfriend did that to my hands. She’s a real bitch.
” I don’t mention going to see my father.
The way he turned away from me is a shame too great I don’t want to mention.
“Svetlana hurt you?”
“She wants you back. I would watch out for her.”
“You’re telling me the truth? The full truth?”
I force myself to look into his eyes. Don’t crack. Don’t break. “Yes. Besides, I have dance rehearsal today. I need to get to it.”
Nikolai stares down at me like he’s looking into my soul before he unties my wrists.
My arms flop to my sides as the blood rushes back into them.
“Show those other girls what you’re made of.
But they will be able to tell that you tried to hurt yourself.
Be prepared for that. I’ve seen the way they talk to you. ”
I stare down at my wrist. “You speak like you actually care about me.”
“I do, Lana,” he says in a soft voice. It makes my stomach tingle. “It’s why I never wanted you to see that side of me in that basement. I want what’s best for you.”
“Don’t you think what’s best for me… isn’t you?”
“Probably but I still wanted you.” That’s the dark, dangerous mafia man I know. The one who isn’t afraid to be selfish and take what he wants. Nikolai has made that very clear to me.
“I should eat. I have to get ready for rehearsal.” I get out of bed but Nikolai doesn’t move out of my way.
He grips my chin and plants another kiss to my lips. I can’t help but lean into his touch. It’s pure electricity. But just as soon as I let myself enjoy it, he pulls back. Teasing me or testing me. I’m not sure which.
“What do you really want?” he asks in a low voice, startling me.
“I want…”
“Tell me.”
“I want to go back to our wedding night.”
His eyes darken. “I never did get to touch you the way I should have.”
“Because Lev called and ruined it. I don’t like him. I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t want to talk about Lev right now,” he growls. “I want to throw you on that bed and have my way with you.”
I gasp as a tingle spreads through my entire body. A deep ache forms between my legs.
“Is that what you want?” he asks.
How can I tell him yes and no at the same time?
Nikolai must sense the hesitation in my eyes because he nods and takes a step back. “You have rehearsal to get to. I would hide your wrist from those vultures if I were you.”
That’s the last thing I want. If I show those girls any sense of shame, they’ll attack. The best way to handle them is to walk in there with my head held high.
“Are you ashamed of what I did?” I ask, holding my wrist up.
“I don’t want it getting out that my wife is so miserable, she wanted to end her own life.”
“You don’t want people to think less of you. The big, bad mafia man. I can understand that. But you don’t control my life, Nikolai.”
“Tell me. What did you feel when you finally stopped fighting the ties around your wrists?”
I blink. “I…”
“Tell me.” His tone is firm. There’s no getting out of this.
“I liked it,” I whisper.
He nods. “And there you go. If you listen to me, Lana, you can be happier. You can experience passion. You can become the dancer you’ve always wanted to become.
I am sorry you had to see that part of me yesterday.
But don’t let that ruin what’s between us.
I don’t want to control every part of you.
I want to help you become free under my control.
I think you’ll see that in time. If you want to listen to me, you’ll hide your wrist from those girls. ”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then don’t come crying to me when they eat you alive.”
I clench my hands into fists. Nikolai’s eyes flick down to my hands and he smirks, like he knows I’m holding on too tight. I’m not ready to let go yet. I don’t know how.
“I have to get ready,” I grit out.
“Learn this the hard way. That’s fine. I’ll be here when you finally learn.” He walks out of the room and the moment he’s gone, I slump onto the bed as all the energy leaves me.
My wrist burns underneath my bandage. The urge to scream hits me but I tamp it down.
An ice princess. Never crack.