46. Madison
46
MADISON
Madison, are you doing okay? Zoe’s text message is a welcome one the next morning. I stretch, my hand bumping into something. I roll over and see Ethan.
I completely forgot that I had invited him to stay the night. I smile as he stirs, my touch enough to wake him up.
He blinks at me a couple of times before welcoming me into his arms. I snuggle up against him for a minute, and neither one of us speaks. I don’t want to move or even really be awake. My eyes drift closed, and I feel myself just slipping into Dreamland when Ethan stirs again.
“I need to be at the hospital in an hour.”
I sigh. That’s not what I want to hear. I want to stay right here all day.
Ethan kisses the side of my head and rolls away from me. “I’ll take care of the dogs, get them out so they can get a little exercise. You don’t need to get up.”
“Yes, I do. My bladder is about to explode.”
Ethan laughs. “Well, then, do get up. I have never done surgery on a bladder before, so you would be on your own there. ”
I laugh with him as I push myself out of bed and head to the bathroom. I feel spoiled as he takes care of getting the dogs out and fed. I spend a few minutes in the bathroom brushing my hair and teeth so that I don’t look like a complete monster.
Then, I hug Ethan close to me before he heads to his house to get ready for his shift. “Text me if you get the chance.”
“I will. Hey, we’re a real couple now, and we’re not keeping it a secret. So…if you wanted to show up at the hospital with lunch for me, I wouldn’t turn that down.”
I smile, but I know it’s not something I’m going to do. I’m not ready to take that kind of step in our relationship.
“Maybe another day.”
Ethan kisses me on the top of my head then turns my lips up toward himself. He kisses them soundly before heading out the front door. Samson circles my legs and looks up at me curiously.
“The plan today, buddy, is to rest and relax. Are you good with that plan?” Samson hurries to the other side of the room and grabs a chew toy which he squeaks loudly.
“I’m not sure that’s resting and relaxing, but you do you.”
I head back to bed and pick up my phone again, having completely forgotten about Zoe’s text message. I stare at it for another moment. Why is she asking me this right now? Sure, she’s very caring, and she always has been, but it seems strange that she would text me when I’m right in the middle of going through something to make sure I’m okay.
Not doing the best. I finally tap out. I know that Zoe probably has to work today, but I appreciate her thinking about me. I always spend so much time griping about myself and my situation. I don’t even know what’s going on in Zoe’s life right now .
Aurora told us.
That message makes me sit straight up in bed. I gape openly at my phone screen. Told you what?
About the baby. I already knew of course, but Mia and Stella were surprised.
I growl at my phone as my fingers tap out a quick reply. How DARE she? I would never go talking about someone else’s pregnancy to people. That’s rude and…RUDE.
I send the text message to Zoe even though it’s mostly gibberish. I’m so furious I don’t even have the words to explain it. I hop out of bed realizing that I’m not going to get to relax calmly like I had hoped this morning.
The annoyance that now fills me fuels me to pace my room back and forth. Samson trots inside and drops the dog toy at my feet, but I ignore it.
Aurora used to be my best friend, but she’s stopped acting like it since I started making decisions she doesn’t like. I’m barely eight weeks along, and I haven’t even heard the baby’s heartbeat yet. It doesn’t even feel completely real to me, but Aurora thinks it’s okay to tell our friends.
I snatch up my phone, suddenly thinking of something else I want to ask.
Zoe has already responded with, Do you want me to come over? I could come on my lunch break.
I don’t want to need anyone. I want to be able to do things on my own, but the truth is that I do need someone. I’m struggling.
Sure. I would like that.
I toss my phone onto the bed, and Samson tries to snap it up in his mouth as it goes flying through the air. “Stop it, Samson,” I scold, not amused by his playfulness. Samson rubs up against me and waits for me to pet him.
I settle onto the ground and pet him, feeling guilty for snapping at him. But it feels like just when I’m trying to get a handle on things, they go spinning out of my control again.
The other two dogs that are currently with us, Goofus and Luna, come into the bedroom to check out what’s going on. Pretty soon, I’m in the middle of a huge huddle. And I find myself smiling. These dogs love me, and they’re good at cheering me up.
When Zoe arrives a few hours later, she has Mia in tow. Mia’s eyes are round and curious as she follows Zoe into the house. I catch her glancing at my stomach a couple of times.
“Yes, I’m actually pregnant. It’s not something Aurora made up,” I announce so Mia doesn’t have to ask the question. I also don’t want to endure her strange stares.
“We’re worried about you,” Zoe says as she pulls me into a hug.
I relax into her embrace, reminding myself that it may feel like I’m alone, but I don’t have to be.
Then, Zoe plops onto my couch, and Mia takes a turn hugging me. When Mia releases me, I see that Zoe has taken out a bag lunch, and the three dogs have found places at her feet just in case she decides to share.
“Sorry, I have to eat while I’m here because I won’t have a chance otherwise.”
My stomach rumbles even though I just ate, and I feel like my body is completely empty. “I think I need something too. Mia, are you hungry?”
“No, I had an early lunch today. You two go ahead.”
Once everyone is settled with their food, Zoe’s eyes fall on me. “Madison, tell us what’s going on.”
I shake my head. “I feel like you know more than I do. Aurora cut me out of the group chat? ”
Mia and Zoe exchange glances. “We got a message last night.”
“It wasn’t the nicest,” Mia adds.
Zoe continues. “Basically, she told us that you weren’t interested in being friends with us anymore because you prefer a different crowd. And she never expected to get a little sibling like this.”
I grit my teeth together. “She said it like that? Just announced it and you had to figure it out?”
Zoe nods. “Well, I knew. Sorry, Mia. But I knew, so I tried to smooth the announcement out so there wasn’t a lot of guessing. I tried to calm Aurora down too, but nothing would do that.”
I shake my head, feeling the urge to cry come out of nowhere. Instead, I bite into my sandwich. “So, what do I do? Aurora hates me, and I’m pregnant. And it’s not something I planned. Ethan and I decided we weren’t going to hide our relationship anymore. I thought that would make things easier, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“With Aurora, there’s never an easy way.” Mia shrugs. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
“But what do I do? I mean, things won’t be the same if she and I can’t be in the same room again. It’s like you guys can be friends with both of us but not at the same time.”
“It’s not quite like that.”
“What’s it like then?”
Zoe takes a bite of her food and chews thoughtfully for a few moments. “You just have to keep showing Aurora that you care about her. I think she’s acting like this because she feels like you both made a huge decision without including her.”
“But it’s our lives!” I set my food aside as a sudden wave of nausea rolls through me. I lean forward, putting my head between my legs to try to calm the nausea.
“I get that, but she’s involved too. To her, it probably feels like she’s losing a lot of people important to her.”
I understand what Zoe is saying, but…I can’t make my decisions based on what Aurora wants me to do.
Mia sits next to me and rubs my back. I sit there like that for a few minutes until Samson sticks his head under my hand and his wet nose right in my face. I wipe my face off and smile at him. “Samson, chill. I’m fine. Please don’t give me kisses right now.”
I pat his head, but I can feel Mia and Zoe watching me. “So, what do I do? It feels like I have to choose between someone who makes me happy and my friend. She’s been my friend for a long time.”
“But…she’s being controlling right now,” Mia points out.
Zoe agrees. “You don’t have to do what she wants just because she’s upset at you. I would say you can only keep reaching out. Show her that just because you’re with her dad and pregnant and…everything, that you’re not planning on abandoning her. I think that’s what she’s really worried about, that you and her dad will be so excited about this new baby that she won’t have anyone.”
“She has all of you guys!” I understand what Zoe is saying, but it still seems like Aurora is being extra dramatic.
“Well, we all know that you two have been friends longer than all of us. And I think it’s normal for her to take time to process things. Give her that time, but don’t stop reaching out to her.”
I pick at my lunch, not hungry anymore. Zoe has a good point.
“And I think she’ll come around. Besides, it’s a baby .” Mia rubs my back excitedly. “Who can’t love a baby? ”
“Apparently, Aurora. Anyway, thanks, guys. I know you have things you have to do, and…I’m just trying to stay calm and accept that Aurora may never forgive me for not getting her approval on my life choices.” My voice is filled with venom, but I can’t help it. I’m bitter about Aurora’s anger.
That’s not how someone would expect their best friend to act, but then again, I clearly haven’t made all the best decisions either.
Zoe stands and gives me a hug. “We love you, and she does too. Just keep reaching out. Anyway, I’d love to stay, but I need to get back to work. Mia, do you want a ride?”
“I’ll walk. It feels good out today.”
I hug Mia too, then watch them leave. Now, the house feels quieter than ever, but they’ve given me a lot to think about.