IVY
A fter Clint and I talked , I felt both powerful and vulnerable. Just like how the doctor’s words left me invigorated yet scared.
My brain didn’t belong to one person. My wild side was thrilled to know I could live my life to the fullest. I didn’t have to worry every time my heart raced. I could meet Clint’s passion with my own.
However, the scared part of me was in full denial. Nothing had changed! I was still in peril! Those tests missed something! I wasn’t strong enough to handle Clint or his world!
A part of me also missed my shut-in existence. There was freedom in my old life. I missed watching TV every morning and reading books all afternoon. No one expected anything from me. I owned my day-to-day existence.
Finally, my logical side worried I was making promises I couldn’t keep. Clint’s good looks and high-end condo were distracting me from the violent life he led. I saw his parents, alive and well, after decades together, and assumed anything was possible.
But my logical side had warned me about Uncle Linus’s erratic behavior before those men showed up. It also told me to pack a bag in case I needed to run. I fought such thinking, hating the way paranoia made my heart race.
I always figured I’d live at the mansion for the rest of my life. Bills would be paid by someone in an office. Food would be delivered. I only needed my living space cleaned. I barely went outside to the yard. As long as I could stream entertainment and download books, life felt bearable.
I considered a scenario where I could return to Reno. Uncle Dwight was gone. Uncle Linus might be dead soon, too. I would have the house to myself. No violent men to steal me away. I could be safe and go back to my routine.
Except that the Reed family belonged to me now. I couldn’t walk away, even if someone handed me the perfect exit. I’d never be happy without them in my life.
Despite today’s good news, I was emotionally wiped out. The real world was chaotic. I wished to hide away for a day or two and let my logical, shut-in, and scaredy-cat sides settle down.
Meanwhile, my wild side also needed to understand how running after every idea was a mistake. Getting my tattoo had been exciting, but that night could have gone wrong in many ways. I didn’t know anything about tattoo maintenance. I only wanted to do something fun with a person who would accept me. Except she hadn’t.
Clint and his family had embraced me, though. And they didn’t rush into random directions, seeking out experiences. Clint was smart, always watching people and sizing up situations. He was logical but never weak.
I wanted to be wild like he was. Not impulsively following others, but having fun on my terms.
As Clint and I prepared to leave for the evening, Shay squeezed me tight. “You did so well today.”
“Only because you were there.”
Shay stroked my head, seeming to want me to stay. Clint casually separated us.
“We’ll be back tomorrow for dinner, okay?” he said to his parents as he handed Hanzee’s carrier to me.
“I’ll cook,” I told them. “I don’t know what yet, but I want to cook for people.”
Smirking at Sutter, Ford said, “We’ll stock up on frozen pizza just in case something goes wrong with her cooking.”
I smiled over getting razzed in the way the family messed with each other. I was already part of their inner circle.
On the drive to the condo, I considered what I could make for the Reed family. Next to me, Clint seemed calm. The longer I knew him, the easier he was to read. That was why I sensed his tension when we passed a car leaving the garage.
“I need to check on a club brother,” Clint said after he parked the truck and turned to me. “If you don’t feel like meeting anyone new, I can bring you and Hanzee to the condo first.”
I didn’t immediately respond. I asked myself what I truly wanted versus what I thought Clint would like to hear.
“I want to stay with you,” I answered. “But tomorrow, I need to spend most of the day decompressing.”
Clint leaned forward and planted a lingering kiss on my lips. I unlatched my seatbelt and crawled into his lap. Clint might have realized he’d triggered more than he was ready for because he popped his lips free and leaned back.
“You and I can save that for when we show off our scars,” he said and ran his hands through his hair as if to get his head on straight. “Can I hang out with you tomorrow or will that interfere with your decompression?”
Smiling, I asked, “Won’t you be bored sitting around the condo? I sense you move around a lot.”
“I should have kept you to myself more in the beginning, but that wasn’t possible with my family. Now, the foxes want me to bring you to the Sorority House this weekend. I also have a meeting in a few days. This might be the only chance we have to spend the day alone until I get a few things sorted out.”
I was relieved to know Clint was also struggling with this new situation. Taking his hand, I asked, “Why did you get tense when we got home?”
Clint didn’t answer until he came around and got Hanzee’s carrier. He took my hand with his free one and started walking.
“My club brother Farley’s ex-girlfriend isn’t supposed to visit the condos, but I saw her leaving when we got here. He never seems able to tell her no. I need to touch base with him to make sure he isn’t letting her run roughshod over him again.”
My body begged me to go to the condo and stretch out on the couch while Clint handled his friend’s bad taste in women. But this was my life now. Clint’s problems were mine. I needed to understand what it meant to fall for the club president.
At a unit on the third floor, Clint knocked on the door. Soon, a lanky man answered. He had dark blond hair that brushed across his shoulders. His brown eyes darkened at the sight of Clint before lighting up when he noticed me.
“Is this the infamous Ivy?” he asked and reached for me.
Stepping between us so his friend couldn’t hug me, Clint muttered, “Let’s keep our hands to ourselves.”
“Sorry, but she feels like a part of the family,” Farley explained as he backed into his condo so we could enter. “She’s all anyone is talking about.”
“Well, I’m not here to talk about my love life,” Clint replied, and his tone held an edge I hadn’t heard before. “I saw Cordy leaving as I got here tonight.”
Farley exhaled deeply and shrugged his shoulders. We walked deeper into his condo, which felt less furnished and lived-in than Clint’s. The scent of pot lingered in the air. I also detected a strong perfume on the couch when I sat down.
Clint remained standing while facing a chagrined Farley.
“You were supposed to contact me if she came around,” Clint said in a steely voice.
“You had your new girlfriend over, and I didn’t want to pester you.”
Clint clicked his tongue and rested his hands on his hips. Something about these gestures shifted the mood in the room. His disapproval stole Farley’s confidence. I felt a little scolded myself.
“Did she stay over?” Clint asked.
“Just for a few hours.”
“Was that today or two days ago when Rock saw her?”
“Both times,” Farley said and dropped into a chair. “She didn’t sleep over.”
“Did you fuck?” Clint asked in a tone that made the word “fuck” sound like a crime against humanity. “Did you give her money?”
Farley reacted to Clint’s questions like a scolded kid. He leaned back in his recliner and crossed his arms. His dark eyes avoided Clint.
“Cordy was upset over work. She’d fought with her mom, too. She was crying.”
“She’s always fighting with her mom. She gets into shit at work because she’s a bully. And she only cries to get what she wants. You know all that.”
Farley looked around like he couldn’t explain why he let Cordy into his home and gave her whatever she wanted. I hadn’t gotten a good look at the woman on her way out. I assumed she must be rather seductive to make a handsome man bow to her will.
“Why didn’t she stay the night?” Clint asked, really digging into the wound and making sure Farley hurt.
“She had to get up early.”
“No, because she had gotten what she wanted. You fucked her, so she felt pretty again. You gave her cash, so her bills will be paid. You fixed her problems, so she didn’t need you anymore. That’s why she didn’t stick around.”
“I know,” Farley said and dropped his chin to his chest. “I don’t know why I fall for her shit.”
“Because you grew up watching Pepper and Bay save weak women. Now, you want to play the hero like your moms have done. You know all this, Farley. We’ve gone over it. You’ve talked to the therapist about it. There’s no fucking mystery. But you still let Cordy inside your house.”
“What’s the big deal?” Farley asked, suddenly full of bravado as he stood up and walked to the kitchen. “I got laid, and it’s not like I’m hurting for cash.”
“What if she came over here to get knocked up? Do you want that bitch raising your kid and milking your feelings forever?”
“I was careful.”
“Where are the condoms?” Clint asked immediately.
Farley frowned hard, wanting to fight back. I sensed he was a tough guy in most situations. With Clint, he turned submissive.
Clint glanced at me and offered a small smile. I must have looked freaked out, and he wanted to comfort me. Once I smiled back, his face transformed into the guy who could make other men submit.
Clint told Farley, “Until you tell that bitch to fuck off, you will never find someone good. How many sweet chicks have dumped you because you got distracted by Cordy? Any of them would have treated you better than the bitch. Yet, here we are again.”
Farley crossed his arms and muttered, “I don’t need lectures.”
“Well, you need something because this shit keeps happening.”
“I get weak when it comes to her.”
“Cordy’s not a victim,” Clint insisted. “She doesn’t need your help. You aren’t saving her, and she’ll never care about you for real.”
“I know.”
“But you let her inside this fucking condo,” Clint growled in such a harsh tone that I found myself flinching away from him. “She came into your safe space and took what she wanted from you and then fucking left. How can you ride for my club if you act like a such punk-ass bitch?”
Farley’s gaze flashed around the room like a frightened animal searching for an escape.
“I don’t know how to stop.”
“I’ve told you how,” Clint said in a calmer tone. “You know how to make it end, but you won’t say the word.”
“I don’t want Cordy to get hurt.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a punk-ass bitch.”
“Let me tell you the future,” Clint said and glanced at me to make sure I wasn’t freaked out by his tone. “Cordy gets behind on her bills. She hits an age where guys won’t party with her. She’s going to decide that a baby will love her right. Then, you’ll be stuck with her. You’ll want to move her into the condo. I can already hear you explaining how the baby won’t be safe with Cordy alone. The kid needs you around. Then, after she gets bored of motherhood, she’ll start running around on you while you explain to your kid why its mom is never home.”
“If that were to happen, I could take care of the kid. It might work out if she leaves.”
“She won’t leave for long. She’ll keep coming back. If you tell her to fuck off, she’ll go to court. Eventually, I’ll have to stick her ass in the quarry. Then, you’ll feel sad because you killed your kid’s mom.”
Farley’s brown eyes flashed to me before he asked, “Should you be saying this shit in front of Ivy?”
“She’s mine now. I’m not hiding the reality of Little Memphis from her,” Clint said and looked at me. “When people cross the club, they end up buried somewhere. That’s what will eventually happen to this Cordy bitch. Or Farley can say the word now, and she’ll stop coming around.”
I looked at Farley, nearly begging him with my eyes to give Clint what he wanted. Cordy sounded awful while Farley seemed nice. Why shouldn’t he meet someone better? Besides, kids should have good parents. No one in my family did, and we accomplished nothing in life.
“What if she’s the best I’m going to do?” Farley asked, sounding brokenhearted.
“You’ve already dated a handful of chicks better than Cordy. You’re not in love with her. It’s her drama that’s got you hooked. You’re addicted to playing her hero, but it’s not real. Just cut her loose and find a nice girl who actually likes you.”
Farley frowned at the kitchen island as if thinking over his life. I sensed these two men had shared this conversation many times. That explained why Clint was frustrated. Yet, he didn’t write off the other man’s failure and go enjoy his evening.
I stared up at Clint and admired how he cared about his people. Their struggles belonged to him, too. He might seem cold at times, but his heart ran hot.
“What do you think?” Farley asked me.
Startled out of my lovestruck wonder, I hesitated. Clint didn’t even glance in my direction. I suspected he hoped not to pressure me. Or he was upset by how Farley drew me into their argument. Either way, Clint kept his gaze on Farley while I found my voice.
“I don’t know you or Cordy. But you’re a good person to want to help her,” I said and then shrugged. “Clint is helping me. I couldn’t imagine taking advantage of his generosity. If Cordy takes advantage of your good side, she’s not worth your time.”
Farley stared at me like I’d said something really profound. Exhaling deeply, he nodded and smiled sadly.
“I’m going to miss Cordy,” he told Clint. “She made me feel good for a little bit, but it wasn’t real.”
“No, and you deserve real.”
Farley nodded. “Okay, sic the foxes on her. It’s the only way I’ll be rid of Cordy, and that’s what I want.”
Clint smiled at Farley. His quietly hostile vibe was gone.
“I’ll have the foxes handle the situation. Once you get a little space, we’ll find a sweet chick to keep you company.”
Though Farley nodded, I sensed he was already second-guessing his decision. He even opened his mouth as if prepared to shut down the plan. Then, his gaze found me, and he frowned.
“You found Ivy at a gas station,” Farley said.
His words almost sounded mocking, yet his tone was hopeful, as if Clint and I meeting was a powerful sign.
“I wasn’t even looking for her,” Clint said, surprising me with how tenderly he said the words.
I smiled as his thumb brushed across my lips. Farley seemed soothed by Clint’s affection for me. No longer sulking in the kitchen, he walked over and offered to take Hanzee to the courtyard.
“I’ll get him sorted for the night,” Farley said. “Ivy looks tired, and it’s cold out.”
While reaching for my hand, Clint grinned at his friend. I stood and shuffled against him. His gaze held mine.
Today was so stressful, even if I got only good news in the end. My prize for remaining strong was a chance to claim Clint for good.