Now #2
“I’m glad we settled this,” I say as I walk back into my bedroom.
It takes me a total of thirty minutes to shower and change my clothes.
I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror in my bathroom and grabbing a comb to fix my damp hair.
There are messy pieces of hair going in every direction.
The annoying thing is when my hair dries after I shower, it returns to its original state.
Ugh, I can’t win.
My eyes wander down to my arms.
Sometimes I forget that I have tattoos.
A small pair of angel’s wings is located above my elbow on my right arm.
This was a tattoo I got when Violet and I were dating.
I went with my mom because the state requires sixteen-year-olds to be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.
I’m surprised she let me get a tattoo. I was prepared for her to say no, but she didn’t.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Mom asks, rubbing my shoulder as I sit down on the tattoo chair.
“Yes, are you sure you’re comfortable with me doing this?” I smile like a dork.
I know she can sense my sarcasm because she fires back at me. “Just do it before I change my mind.”
The needle comes into contact with the inside of my arm, and I shut my eyes to express the slight pain I’m in.
Mom holds my hand for the next forty-five minutes.
Once I’m inked, the tattoo artist lays out the ground rules about letting the area around the tattoo heal and to wait around twenty-four hours to take a shower.
“Wow, it looks great. What does it symbolize?”
“It has to do with Violet.”
She grins. “She’s going to love it.”
“I hope so.”
I can’t believe it.
I can’t believe my mom let me get a tattoo.
I can’t believe I even have a tattoo.
Along with the pair of angel wings, I have a medium-sized scorpion with the Scorpio zodiac sign on my upper left arm. This is a tattoo I got when I was eighteen years old because I’m proud to be a Scorpio.
A small basketball with Saturn's rings and a few stars is on my inner right wrist. This tattoo is to permanently etch my love for basketball into my skin. I liked the idea of adding Saturn’s rings because this sport makes me feel like I’m on another planet when I play it.
A small realistic lion sits below where my right arm bends above my elbow. I got this one to symbolize courage and how I have the capability to be brave.
Three, small flying birds are on my inner right forearm going horizontal. I thought the idea of this one was cool because it symbolizes that I can do anything I set my mind to. I can soar high, despite the epic lows I may experience throughout my life.
I head out of my bathroom and into the main area of the apartment where Noah and Xander are.
“What are you going to do about breakfast?” Xander asks me.
“I thought we settled this. Now I’m confused.”
Xander shakes his head. “No, what are you going to put in your body for fuel?”
“Oh, um…I haven’t thought about that.”
“Again, this is why you’re the captain of The Idiot Club,” Noah points out.
I flip Noah off. “Shut up.” I walk over to the counter and scan the basket we fill with fruits, granola bars, and other grab-and-go snacks.
“Hey, Gray,” Xander says.
I whip my body around. “What?”
“Your T-shirt is inside-out.”
Shit.
I remove my shirt and put it on the right way with the tag facing inward.
Noah’s blue eyes stare me down. “Are you nervous or something?”
“Who? Me? Of course not. I’m never nervous.”
Noah and Xander glance at each other and focus their attention back on me.
“Ha, I’d like to call bullshit on that. What are you nervous about? Weren’t you okay when you talked to Violet yesterday?” Noah narrows his eyes.
“Yeah. I’m worried that we’re going to get into the parts I’d prefer not to relive. Also, I might have invited her to the homecoming game next Friday.” I give them my best fake smile.
“You did what?” Noah and Xander say in unison.
“What? It’s not a bad thing. It’s the complete opposite. Whenever she’d go to my games in high school, we won every single one of them.”
“So, you invited her to go to your game, so the team would win?” Noah asks.
“No, that came out wrong. I want her to be there.”
“And you don’t think having her there won’t make you nervous?” Xander wonders.
Noah hits Xander in the arm, and Xander gives him a dirty look.
“Bro, why would you ask that to a person who has anxiety?” Noah asks him.
“I’m sorry. It was just a thought I had. Gray, we care about you. We want you to be okay,” Xander says.
“I am okay. I’m an adult, man. I’m lucky to have you guys as my best friends, but I can take care of myself.”
Noah meets my gaze. “You don’t think we know that? Dude, go grab a granola bar or something. You get cranky when you’re hungry.”
“Correction: I get hangry.” I search through the snack basket more, selecting a peanut butter dark chocolate granola bar and a banana. “There’s a difference.”
“Yeah, whatever. You’re going to be late if you don’t leave right now. We’ll see you later.”
Peeling the banana, I bite off a quarter of it and chew slowly, so I don’t choke on it. I slip the granola bar in my back pocket before rushing out the door.
When I reach my truck, I open the door and sit inside for a minute.
Why am I nervous?
It’s not like I didn’t talk to Violet yesterday. I think it’s the possibility of getting into the nitty gritty that scares me because I don’t want her to relive it. Honestly, I don’t want to relive any of it.
This is why my high school experience is a puzzle that has several missing pieces. And it’s not by accident, it’s by choice. I wasn’t kidding when I told Violet that the only moments I remember are the ones she’s in because they’re the only moments worth remembering.
Once I start my truck, I’m engulfed in the warm air coming from the vents. Eventually, the air gets cooler as I back out of my parking spot.
It’s almost the end of October, which means cooler weather is around the corner.
Sunset Cove is notorious for having summer extend all the way into winter.
It’s the worst. Don’t get me wrong, I love the summertime, but there’s something about wearing a heavy sweatshirt that I love so much.
Instead of sweating my ass off, I’m covered in multiple layers of clothing.
Well, that’s only if it gets really cold.
As I’m driving out of Oceanside, I notice how the sunlight is reflecting off the shingle roofs of all the buildings in the complex. I have to put my visor down to block out the light, so I’m not blinded by it while I’m driving.
When I make my way onto the main roads, I’m swallowed by a lot of cars. Why are there so many people on the road today? Oh, I know why. It’s Saturday. The irony is that it’s usually busier on campus during the week because of classes and extracurricular activities. Some days are better than others.
I don’t go quick enough for the guy behind me when the light finally flashes green because he honks his horn. He inches closer and closer to the back of my truck, causing me to scream at him. “It just turned green, asshole!”
Luckily, he can’t hear me because my windows are up. Some people might find it a waste of time, but cursing out some of these idiot drivers is oddly therapeutic for me. Some of the college kids have no idea how to drive, and it makes me wonder how they acquired driver’s licenses.
Once I press the gas pedal, I try to get away from this dumbass, but he beats me to the punch and starts swerving back and forth into both lanes.
What an idiot.
Hightower is around five to seven minutes away from Oceanside without major traffic. Sometimes it can be over ten minutes away if traffic is really bad.
Sunset Cove University is a place somebody can get easily lost in because it’s like a mini city.
I still can’t get over the fact that I’m a student here because I’ve dreamt of going here since I was a middle schooler. It’s like I blinked, and now I’m a senior.
Time flies by so fast that it can be hard for me to savor the good moments because my brain prefers to consume the bad moments.
I can never shake them, but I need to learn how to tune them out.
I was able to do it for high school. Why can’t I do it for other events that have happened throughout my life?
The only problem is I have thought about the darkest corners of high school when I’m staring off into space.
Ten minutes later, I make it to Hightower. I park in front of building five, turn my engine off, and open the door. After I lock my truck, I head upstairs to the second floor. I ate the granola bar I grabbed on my way out on my way over here. I’m too nervous to have a big breakfast today.
Here I am, standing in front of Violet’s apartment and contemplating my life choices.
How did I not know she lived down the street from me?
Why didn’t Noah tell me?
What about Xander?
I will always have these questions, but I know it’s way past the point for them to get answered.
I want to understand why the love of my life didn’t contact me for the past six years.
I want to understand what happened, and why these things happened.
I hope I get to find out.