Now
VIOLET
What’s wrong with me? I didn’t think any of that through. I said yes without any hesitation.
It’s not that I don’t want to see Grayson’s mom. I adore Dana so much.
The last time I saw her was when Grayson blacked out and had to be taken to the hospital. I haven’t visited her since, mostly because I didn’t want to risk running into Grayson there or her telling him that I was there. There was a part of me that believed she hated me for what I did to her son.
A thump on the door snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Is everything okay in there?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” My voice goes up a few octaves.
That’s a lie.
After I wash my hands and splash a little bit of water onto my face, I dry my face with one of the big, navy blue towels next to me.
When I open the door, Grayson is standing right in the doorway and leaving a sliver of space in between us. I find myself unable to speak because of it. I’m using every ounce of restraint when it comes to wanting to run my fingers through his soft, dark brunette hair.
Why am I like this?
“Can I help you with something?” I ask calmly.
“So, I had some chips and pretzels at the party. I don’t know if you had a snack like I did, but I need to eat something more concrete because I’ll be starving tomorrow if I don’t eat anything. I know you talked about us ordering from somewhere on campus.”
“Would you rather make something here?”
“That’s not the question I asked.” He sighs. “I’m thinking of ordering something and having it delivered here. I’m too tired to make a whole production. Is that okay with you?”
“Sounds good to me. I could go for some comfort food.”
“Like what?”
“Um…a cheeseburger would be great.”
“Ah, if only Coastal Shores wasn’t over a half hour away. We can order from one of the restaurants on campus. How about Stingray’s?”
Stingray’s is a bar and grill. It’s the main hangout on campus.
Everybody goes there to celebrate when finals week is over, except for me. I’d rather curl up in my bed and read a book than deal with a bunch of college guys trying to see who can hook up with the most girls in one night.
They definitely have the best burgers on campus though.
“Do they have an order online option on their website?”
“Yes,” he replies instantly.
“I’m going to guess that you’ve ordered delivery from there before.”
“When we’re too lazy to make dinner, we usually order from Stingray’s. It’s mostly affordable, and their food is pretty good.”
I scan the living room. “Where’s your computer?”
“I can order everything on my phone.”
“I hate ordering stuff on my phone because everything is so small, and the pages can glitch.”
“Fine.” He gets up and heads into one of the bedrooms, which I’m assuming is his own.
I slowly follow him into the room, studying my surroundings.
His bedding is a combination of a gray comforter and a white plush blanket with a gray headboard. His desk is located to the left of his bed when you walk into the room, and there’s a nightstand on the right.
“You could use some color in here.”
He sits down on the edge of his bed. “Why?”
“It could breathe some life into the grayness.”
“You’ve always known that I’m not a colorful person. Did you forget?” Sarcasm takes over his tone.
“No, I didn’t forget. Trying new things can be scary, but they have an incredible way of working out in the end.”
“You’re a pain in my ass, Prescott.”
“And I don’t even have to try.” I smile wide like an absolute dork.
Grayson lets out a loose, breathy laugh as I sit down next to him. He opens the lid up to his laptop, typing out the URL for Stingray’s into the address bar.
He clicks on the online order button on the homepage and is taken to the main screen. I watch him as he taps on the barbecue burger with bacon and crispy onion straws.
“I can feel you judging me over there,” he says.
“How? I didn’t say anything.”
“That’s the thing. You don’t have to say anything for me to understand what you’re thinking.” He focuses on me instead of his computer.
“Well, you of all people should know that I would never judge you. I never have, and I never will.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean for what I said to come across that way.”
My face softens. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“Let me see if I remember this right. I know how much you loved Coastal Shores’ cheeseburger.
You got it almost every time we went there, but no onion because you don’t like that it makes your breath stinky.
You always got the mayo on the side, so you could put on as much as you wanted.
I know Stingray’s has a cheeseburger similar to theirs. ”
Wow! How does he still remember that?
I know it has been several years since we last saw each other, so I’m amazed that he remembers how much I love the cheeseburgers at Coastal Shores. I’m more impressed by the tiny details, like how I don’t like onions and how I like putting my sauces on the side.
I gulp. “How do you remember something so unimportant like that?”
“Nothing is unimportant to me when it comes to you.”
Where did that come from?
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I-it’s okay,” I stutter.
That’s all I can manage to get out. I mean, how do I respond to something like that?
“I’m going to put the order through now.”
“I can pay you back for mine.”
“That’s not necessary,” he insists.
I knew you were going to say something like that.
If I had the energy, I’d go back and forth with him about it, but I don’t feel like arguing with him about something so insignificant.
When we were dating, Grayson loved paying for our meals when we’d go out to eat. It was a sweet gesture, and he spoiled the hell out of me. I was so grateful that someone wanted to do that for me because I wasn’t the kind of person who experienced being treated by a loved one the right way.
“Well, thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure. The food should be here in fifteen to twenty minutes. I told them to drop it in front of the door.”
“Cool. So…what time do you want to see your mom tomorrow?”
“The shelter is open to visitors from noon to 5 p.m., so we’ll have enough time to see her. I’m thinking somewhere between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. It gives us both time to eat breakfast. Plus, the drive from here to Sunset Cove is thirty minutes, sometimes longer depending on traffic.”
“Okay, then you can take me back home, so I can eat some lunch.”
“Actually, I was thinking we could go somewhere to eat afterwards. I mean, if you want to. We don’t have to.”
This isn’t a good idea. You’re getting too attached to him. Say no.
“Sure, why not?”
You’re going to regret that later.
Grayson turns on his phone, noticing a notification pop up from the delivery app he used to place our order for Stingray’s. “Looks like our food is on the way. Our driver is thirteen minutes away. Faster than I expected.”
“You must be a little hungry.”
“How can you tell?”
“You’ve been checking your notifications every five seconds on your phone.”
“Don’t you think that’s oddly specific? Why are you paying such close attention to me, Prescott?” He narrows his eyes.
I giggle. “Is this an impromptu interrogation or something?”
“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I guess you’ll never know.”
“Ugh, what a tragedy. I’ll somehow have to move on with my life. Hm, I wonder how I’m going to do that.” I place my fist underneath my chin. “Oh, I know! I get to eat some good food soon.”
“Alright, I get it. You can stop doing that now.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Bullshit! You’re doing that thing where your sarcasm is turned all the way up because you’re hungry.”
“Are you sure you’re human? Because your memory feels like it’s programmed.”
“You caught me. I’m a robot version of Grayson Becker.” He gets up off the sofa and starts moving his arms in robotic motions. “Hi. Violet. I’m. Grayson. It’s. So. Nice. To. Meet. You.” He laughs loudly, the sound bouncing off the stainless steel appliances in the kitchen.
Is he flirting with me? I swear he is, but this could also be in my head. Am I flirting back? I definitely am.
“Hey, Captain. I think our food is here.”
“Are those superhero senses of yours tingling?”
“No, your phone lit up with a notification saying our order has been delivered. Nice try though.”
“Damn, that’s disappointing. Not about our food being here, but because you don’t have any superhero senses.”
“I forgot how much of a nerd you are.”
He grabs the keys of the hook near the front door, picking up the brown bag of food and bringing it inside. He locks the door behind him as he makes his way back inside. “I’m not the only nerd here.”
“Oh, I know.” I flash him an annoyed grin.
He places the bag down onto the kitchen table, ripping it open. I can smell the barbecue sauce from Grayson’s burger and the scent of fries coming out of a fryer filled to the brim with hot oil.
I walk over to the kitchen table and stand next to Grayson.
He takes out two plastic containers, inspecting both to figure out which meal belongs to me and which meal belongs to him. He hands me my cheeseburger and fries. I don’t waste a second opening the container and chowing down because he’s right.
I’m hungry.
What is this? Did he read my mind or something?
“Yeah.” I swallow what’s in my mouth before I continue with my train of thought. “You were right. I’m starving. Are you proud of yourself?”
“Of course I am.” He takes a huge bite of his burger, barbecue sauce ending up all over his face.
I can’t stop staring at him because I should probably tell him about the mess all over his face. I break out into a mini giggle fest instead, and he notices.
“What’s so funny?”
“Let me get a napkin.”
Before he can say anything else, I grab one from the napkin holder across from me and gently dab away the sauce on his face.
My attempt to keep my eyes away from meeting his turns into an epic fail. I realize doing this was a bad idea, but I’m realizing it way too late. A lump travels down my throat out of sheer nervousness that’s coursing its way throughout my body.
He stares at every crevice of my face, and I can’t help but freeze in place.
Blinking my eyes rapidly and shaking my head a little, I break Grayson’s spell. “All gone.”
I need to get the hell out of here.
Awkward silence and chewing immediately consume the room. We don’t talk to each other for the remainder of dinner because neither of us knows how to start a conversation because of what I did a bit earlier.
After we finish dinner, Grayson takes our empty containers and places them into the sink.
I get up from my chair and grab my purse from the sofa. “Hey, I think I’m going to head out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s getting late.” I head for the front door, but he stops me by reaching for my hand before I can twist the handle.
“Thanks for cleaning the barbecue sauce off my face.”
“Anytime.” I clear my throat. “I’m sorry if that made things weird between us.”
“Don’t sweat it.” He lets go of my hand in the way that male characters in rom-coms let go of their love interests’ hands: in slow motion, almost as if life is being put on pause for a short amount of time.
“I’ll see you tomorrow between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. then,” I say.
“Mm-hm. I’ll pick you up at your place.”
“Okay. Will you—”
He cuts me off. “Yes, I’ll call you or text you when I’m on my way. Same thing applies for when I get there.”
“How did you know I was going to ask you that?”
“I know you very well, Angel.”
You know me better than anybody else does.
“Apparently so. Good night, Gray.”
“Good night, Vi.”
Twisting the doorknob, I walk out of his apartment with my purse slung over my shoulder. I speed down the stairs to get to my car. When I get inside, I stare out the windshield.
What was I thinking when I wiped off sauce from Grayson’s face? I can’t believe I did that. Friends don’t do that. Girlfriends do, and I’m not his girlfriend. I haven’t been his girlfriend for six years.
Starting the car, I shift the gear into reverse and back out of the parking spot I’m in. I can’t wait to crawl into bed and pretend that moment between Grayson and I didn’t happen.
I pull into my usual parking spot in front of our apartment building.
I made a promise to Grayson that I wouldn’t vanish from his life again, and I’m regretting it.
I’m getting too close to him, which isn’t good for either of us.
I won’t leave him though because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
And I know that doing so would destroy him.
It would destroy us or the possibility of there being an us again.
Turning the engine off, I make my way out of my car and upstairs to the apartment. I twist the doorknob to see if the door is unlocked, and it is.
I stare at Sage who’s sitting on the chair closest to the lamp next to the TV. “Do you realize anybody could come in here since the door is completely unlocked?”
“I left it unlocked for you. It’s been locked the entire time you’ve been gone.”
“Wow, you spoke more than three words to me. I’m impressed.”
“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you at all right now.” She gets up off the chair, folding her arms underneath her chest.
“I know you don’t want to hear it for the millionth time, but I’m sorry for what I said to you a week ago. I was overwhelmed by letting Grayson come back into my life again, and I took it out on you. It was wrong.”
“You know I’m not the kind of person who likes talking about feelings and emotions. It’s a natural thing for me to retreat and keep everything to myself. I’m sorry, too. I wasn’t being the nicest person to you that night.”
“Are we good?” I ask, giving her my puppy-dog eyes.
She rolls her eyes. “We’re good.”
“Yay! Okay, I’m heading to bed.” As I turn to walk away from Sage, I swear I could’ve seen a smile creep up on her face.
I won’t be pulling any stunts when I’m with Grayson tomorrow. I can’t afford to because I have my best friend back, and I’m not losing him again.