Chapter 35
It almost felt wrong that the sun was shining on Bethany as she made her way along the footpath at the side of the church and headed towards the Wilkinson family grave.
Somehow she’d have felt more comfortable if it had been pouring with rain, the way it had been when she’d first arrived here on the day of Joseph’s funeral.
The skies were blue and unbroken by clouds, and the scent of flowers hung in the air. It was mid-June and the days held warmth and beauty and the promise of better times. She could only hope it would keep that promise.
Her steps slowed as she neared the plot, her heart thudding with anxiety and grief. She’d avoided this place the whole time she’d been here but there was no more avoiding it. She’d come back to Tuppenny Bridge to put things right and she’d already made a promising start.
Summer had clearly been stunned to see her pull up in the stableyard at Whispering Willows, and Bethany had expected a tirade of abuse from her. She couldn’t have been more amazed when Summer dropped the wheelbarrow she’d been pushing and ran over to her.
‘Bethany, you’re back! Oh, I’m so glad to see you.’
‘You are?’ Bethany frowned, not at all sure she understood what she’d done to merit such a greeting.
‘I wanted to see you, to tell you. About Clive. You’ve got it all wrong.’
She was babbling, clearly distressed, and despite her own nerves Bethany had taken her into the house and made them both a cup of tea so that Summer could calm down and explain.
‘This is all my fault. I’m sorry I was such a cow to you. I was so upset about the sanctuary and Joseph and the horses I just couldn’t see how painful this must all be for you. Clive sat me down and made me look at it from your point of view. I still don’t like it,’ she added honestly. ‘And I’m still worried sick about the residents, but I get it, honestly I do. You have to do what’s right for you, and I had no right to treat you the way I did.’
Bethany smiled. ‘That’s very noble of you, Summer, but?—’
‘But I have to tell you the truth about Clive,’ Summer added hurriedly. ‘It wasn’t him! I mean, it wasn’t his fault. It was all me. If you want to blame anyone blame me, even though I know he let you put it all on his shoulders even though he tried to stop me and wasn’t pleased with me at all.’
‘Summer,’ Bethany said, confused, ‘what exactly are you talking about?’
Summer took a deep breath. ‘It wasn’t Clive who was snooping on you that day. It was me. I sent him up to Harston Hill with Barney and while he was up there I came in here and started looking around to see what you were up to. It was after that builder had been. I heard him telling Clive you were having the stables demolished you see.’
‘Right,’ Bethany said slowly. ‘So you put two and two together and decided to find out what else I’d been keeping from you.’
‘Yes! Not Clive. He just wouldn’t do that sort of thing. I found the phone pad in the dresser cupboard with the message on it about the estate agent, and then I thought, maybe they’d left a voice message on the answer phone which would confirm you were selling this place, so I played it. Clive was furious with me when he walked in on me.’ She blushed. ‘I saw a folder with leaflets in it and I wanted to have a look, but he pulled me away and wouldn’t let me, even though he must have been dying to know what was in there.’
‘I see,’ Bethany said.
‘You know Clive,’ Summer pleaded. ‘You should do by now. I’m so miserable that, because of me, you two broke up and you left him. Please don’t punish him for what I did.’
Bethany gave her a reassuring smile. ‘Summer, I believe you. Don’t worry about it. I should have known. As you say, he’s just not like that.’
‘So you’ll call him, or maybe go to Stepping Stones?’ Summer asked hopefully. She glanced at her watch. ‘He’ll be there now. Surgery?—’
Bethany shook her head. ‘Right now I need to talk to you.’
‘Me? About what?’
Bethany smiled. ‘The future, Summer. The future of Whispering Willows, and what I’ve got planned for us all.’
Now, approaching the grave, she knew that one piece of the jigsaw had fallen into place. She just wasn’t sure if she’d be able to complete the picture.
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves she gazed down on the headstone.
Joseph’s name had been added, which came as no surprise to her. Clive had explained to her, very carefully and with as much tact and gentleness as he could muster, that Joseph had transferred ownership of the grave to him when it became clear Joseph wasn’t going to get well. Clive had, therefore, taken it upon himself to contact a stonemason to add to the inscription as Joseph had requested.
She read the words on the headstone through blurry eyes.
Coral Fiona Wilkinson, nee Parkinson.
Beloved daughter and darling mother.
“My peace I give unto you”.
John 14:27
Joseph Alistair Wilkinson
Beloved son and brother.
“Come unto me all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”.
Matthew 11:28
There was no mention of her father. Joseph had kept his promise not to bury him with their mother. She should have known he would. She should have trusted him. She’d let him down in so many ways.
‘Joseph,’ she said, taking a piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolding it, ‘I didn’t know. All those letters you sent—no one told me about them. I’ve only just found out. I’m so sorry.’
Her voice cracked with emotion and she cleared her throat. ‘I’ve written you a reply at last,’ she told him. ‘I know it’s far too late but I wanted you to finally get an answer to your letters.’
She took a steadying breath and began to read:
‘My darling Joseph. How do I even begin? All these years I thought you didn’t care about me and I kept wondering what I’d done to make you abandon me the way our mother abandoned us.
‘I was wrong. You hadn’t abandoned me and neither had she. I understand that now. She was ill and couldn’t stay. I hope she’s found peace at last, and I hope you’re together again.
‘If I’d known, Joseph, if I’d got the letters, I swear to you I would have come back to see you. I think, all those years, I was just waiting. I was just waiting for you to tell me you still loved me and that you were sorry for what happened with Glenn. I would have been with you at the end. I would have held your hand. I would have told you none of that mattered anymore and that it hadn’t mattered for years. Decades.
‘The truth is, I never loved Glenn. Looking back on it all it’s so clear now. I never loved Ted, either. You were the love of my life, Joseph. You saved me. You were there for me all those years when our parents failed us. You were my light in all that darkness as I was in yours.
‘We might say fate pulled us apart, but that would be too kind. The truth is, bad people pulled us apart. People who believed they knew what was best for me. People who pretended to care about me when really they only cared about themselves, and wanted to control me. And we allowed it to happen because, deep down, we didn’t believe in each other. Our upbringing had ensured that we felt unlovable so it was far easier for us to think the worst of ourselves. You thought I couldn’t forgive you. I thought you didn’t care about me. We were both wrong, and I see that now. I can see everything clearly now. I see that Ted and Helena took advantage of my low self-esteem and they manipulated me and lied to me, and to you. I see that you really did love me, and Joseph, I always loved you.
‘Now I’ve found Clive and you were so right about him. You said he was the kindest, most decent man, and he is. I’ve messed things up with him, too, but I’ve learned my lesson this time. I won’t let things drift along until it’s too late the way I did with you. This time I’m going to fight for what I want, for the person I love.
‘I know you’d be happy for us, Joseph, because you loved both of us. Well, I want you to know that we both love you, too, and we’ll never forget you.
‘I know you’re sorry for what you did, but I need you to know that I’m so sorry, too. I should never have left you alone with Father like that. I should have sorted things out with you instead of running away. I’ve run away all my adult life, but now it’s time to stop running. It’s time to take control of my own life, and because of you, because of the strength your letters have given me, now I know I can. Thank you, Joseph. Your loving sister, Beth.’
She folded the letter back up and put it in her pocket, staring down at the headstone and praying that, somehow, her brother had heard her. She so needed to believe that.
‘Bethany, are you all right?’
She looked up, embarrassed to find Zach Barrington standing there watching her.
He gave her a warm smile. ‘I’m sorry to disturb you. You look so sad that I thought you might want to talk, but if you want me to go I will.’
Bethany wiped her tear-streaked cheeks. ‘Just finally saying my goodbyes,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve been avoiding coming here because of him. My father, I mean. I was so worried he’d be buried here but I found out recently that Joseph had him cremated.’
‘I’m sorry, I assumed you knew. I wasn’t here at the time,’ Zach explained, ‘but Joseph told me all about it. You know, when we were discussing…’ His voice trailed off and Bethany waited.
‘Well, I understand this was meant to be a family plot for all four members of your family, but Joseph admitted that, when your father passed, he couldn’t bring himself to put Terence in there with Coral.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I understand things weren’t so good between them in life and he said he had no intention of saddling her with him in death.’
Bethany swung round to gaze over at the Garden of Ashes. ‘So he’s in there?’ she asked.
‘Er, no. I’m sorry. As far as I’m aware Joseph scattered your father’s ashes out at sea. I’m afraid there’s no exact record of where he did that but maybe Clive?—’
Bethany burst out laughing.
Zach stared at her in obvious bemusement. ‘Did I say something funny?’
She beamed at him in delight. ‘Father wouldn’t even go on a rowing boat. He got seasick.’
Zach lifted his eyebrows. ‘I, er, see. I think.’
‘So do I,’ she told him, unable to wipe the smile from her face. ‘I thought he was here, you see. All this time. I thought Joseph had put him next to our mother and had then chosen to spend eternity in the same grave as him. But instead, he gave the old goat the send-off he truly deserved. Scattering his ashes out at sea!’ She giggled again. ‘Oh, Joseph, that’s priceless. You absolute star.’
‘Well…’ Zach sounded a bit doubtful about that, but nothing could dim Bethany’s relief. She crouched down and blew a kiss to the headstone.
‘I love both of you so much.’ She got to her feet and said softly, ‘Rest in peace, my two angels.’
‘Are you okay, Bethany?’ Zach asked gently.
‘You know what?’ Bethany said, feeling a new hope surge through her. ‘For the first time in decades, I actually think I am.’