15. Chapter 15
Chapter fifteen
Jordie
I flush as I turn in my French midterm to the TA. I drew a blank halfway through the last section where I was supposed to write sentences in various verb tenses. Turns out, practicing for my exam with my boyfriend was simultaneously among my best and worst ideas. Best because he has a way of making the words and concepts from class stick in my head. And it was a perfect excuse to spend extra time with him, so points for snagging the adorable little twinky all for myself.
The problem is that I can’t quite seem to stop associating the near future conjugations he helped me work on with the breathy way his voice broke last night. While he was moaning that he was about to come. Not that I mind the reminder of being with him for the first time.
Fuck, he was so hot coming with my fingers knuckle-deep inside him. I called him after we got Liam’s essay finished, and we might’ve gotten a bit carried away. I jerked myself off listening to Ray finger himself as he described all the filthy things he wants to do with me.
The boy is not shy about sex. Even if he is new to presenting as a guy and he stumbled a little over how badly he wants to fuck me with his big fat cock. If things continue to go this well between us, I want to taste his salty-sweet release. I love listening to that adorable accent of his thickening when he gets turned on and his words slip between languages.
For the exam, I came up with some ridiculous sentence about going to pick apples because Ray mentioned that he usually does that with his family this time of year. So I think I did alright on my midterm, even distracted with thoughts of my sexy new boyfriend and the breathy way the French dripped from his tongue last night. I can’t wipe the grin off my lips or keep the pep out of my step just thinking about him. Giddy delight thrums through my veins.
I text Ray as I’m leaving the building.
Jordie: Nailed it. Thanks to my sexy boyfriend whispering French in my ear last night ;)
Ray: I’ll nail you :P But srsly, happy to be of service.
Jordie: :P or just happy to service me? ;)
Ray: Both.
He follows that up with the Road to El Dorado ‘why not both’ GIF.
Jordie: Typical bisexual :P
Ray: You’re one to talk. Have time for a last minute cram session before the psych exam?
Jordie: You’re going to do fine, but yeah, we can meet up. Want to grab lunch at Randy’s with me?
Ray: Sure. Meet you there after my English lecture. Probably for the best to study in public since someone is too randy to focus if we met in my dorm.
Jordie: I can’t help that my partner is a sexy beast ;) Cya there 3 *kissy face*
Ray: Horn dog. à bient?t.
Now that we’re official, I don’t skimp on the flirty emojis. I want Ray to know how much I like him. There’s no sense playing my emotions close to the vest at this point. I should probably at least try not to be a bad influence.
Jordie: And quit texting in class :P
Ray: You can’t make me. It’s boooooooring. Ugh. Can’t wait to see my sweet delicious coffee…
Jordie: Hey! What about your sweet delicious joyfriend?
Ray: Hmm, might have to taste them again to be sure if they’re really that sweet and delicious XP
Jordie: *pouty face*
Ray: Aw, my joyfriend is a needy bottom. And, yes, I can’t wait to taste your mouth again. And maybe other parts of you ;)
Jordie: Hmm, I dunno, maybe I’ll make you earn it…
Ray: Thought I helped you pass your test? ;P
Jordie: Touchee. Pay attention to the rest of your class, then come and claim your kiss, sunshine.
He doesn’t reply right away to correct my poor grammar, possibly because he’s given up on me ever keeping my accent marks straight. I have to dodge through a crowd of students playing frisbee on the green as I cut across to my apartment. I tuck my phone away and hurry to grab my study stuff so I can meet Ray for lunch at Randy’s.
It’s just past the noon rush when I arrive at the diner so I can claim an open table with a good view of the door for when Ray arrives. It’s slow enough that there’s a guy with his gaming rig set up at a booth playing an online game. I vaguely recognize the images on the screen from watching Keith, Abe, and Celeste playing it like the nerds they are at heart.
I spot a familiar face, Arlene, standing at the counter and sidle up to chat while I wait for Ray.
“Hey, Arlene, right? We met a few weeks ago, through Claude.” I chatted with her while Ray gabbed away in French with Claude and another regular at the diner, Avery, who overheard them.
“Oh, yes. Jordie, wasn’t it?” she asks.
“Yep, you got it. How’ve you been?” I smile at her.
“Keeping busy. I’ve made more cupcakes than I could hope to eat lately. So, just grabbing a quick lunch to go,” she gestures toward the kitchen, looking flustered.
“That bad, huh?” I scrunch my face up in sympathy.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine once I get caught up again.” She waves away my concern and I don’t push.
The bell over the door jingles and I glance over in time to see Ray walk in, chatting with Claude in French. Ray hit it off with them right away, bonding over their shared connections to Quebec. I could tell how happy it made Ray to have that little auditory taste of home to go with his poutine the first time they met. So I’m glad they’ve remained friendly.
The two of them spot us right away. Claude’s eyes light up at the sight of Arlene as much as I’m sure mine do when I see Ray. Interesting, but not my business. I wave the two of them over to join us, then say my goodbyes to Arlene at the first break in conversation.
I tug Ray over to a nearby free table and drag him down to sit next to me so I can greet him with an enthusiastic kiss. Henry, one of the more flamboyant servers, wolf whistles playfully from across the room. I smirk against Ray’s lips.
Ray smiles dazedly up at me. “Guess you’re happy to see me?” he jokes.
“Very.” I lean in so I can whisper the rest into the shell of his ear. “If we didn’t have an exam in an hour, I’d totally drag you back to my place to ravage me properly.”
Ray flushes, swallowing hard, eyes darting to the rest of the dining area before he hides behind his menu and murmurs an invitation. “Come over tonight? No roommates to worry about at my place.”
I nod. “It’s a date.”
Claude, still standing close by, clears their throat, an amused twinkle in their eyes. “Well, I’m grabbing pie to go. I’ll see you two around!”
They shuffle closer to the counter to stand next to Arlene so they can order their dessert. Henry returns from bringing the gamer guy in the corner a soda and steps up to the register. He flirts outrageously with Claude as they place their to-go order. I watch the interaction out of the corner of my eye until Ray draws my attention by setting aside his menu.
“You know,” Ray drawls, “my dad always said it’s not a date if you aren’t going someplace public.”
I arch a brow at him. “You want to fuck me in front of an audience, sunshine?”
Ray chokes on his spit. “I think he meant that sex doesn’t count as a date.”
“And is that also how you feel?” I cock my head and devour him with my eyes. He seemed super into fucking last night. I don’t get the impression he’s shy about sharing his body, even if he has some no-go areas.
“Not necessarily. I’m not wording it well. I want to fuck you like nobody’s business.” Ray licks his lips. “But I also want to take you out for dinner or to a movie or dancing at a club. I want more than sex and study dates.”
Understanding lights me up, followed by a flood of relief. He’s proud to be seen with me. Isn’t that what I’ve been afraid of? Being relegated to his dirty little secret sexcapade? This is a good sign that I’m not an unwitting experiment like I was for Nell. She at least dated me openly. Unlike some folks with one foot still firmly planted in the closet who I hooked up with before I learned my lesson and established my no dating baby queers rule.
“I am all for that. Name the time and place. I usually have family dinner at my folks’ place at least one day each weekend, but otherwise my schedule is flexible.”
“Cool. It’s not really a date, but I, uh, made an appointment to start hormones. At the student health center. Next Friday.”
“Oh! Really?” I squash down the surge of jealousy that he’s ready for that step while I’m still on the fence. Under the surge of intense want is the irrational fear that Ray taking another step into himself is one step further on his path away from me. I need to let go of that fear. He isn’t like the other newly out gays I’ve loved and lost when I was too queer for them and they didn’t need an experiment anymore.
“Yeah. Come with me?” he asks, all shy, sweet innocence.
He wants me to be his guide in this again. I can’t say no to him, even though supporting him scares me. I want to be there for him, despite the sick certainty brewing inside me—he’s going to outgrow me like a teenage musical phase.
“Yeah. Of course I’d be honored to hold your hand, sunshine.”
“Yeah?” He beams at me and I find a more genuine smile for him.
“Yes.” I nod and grab his hand to give him a squeeze. “I’ll always want to support you.”
“Yay! I’m kind of scared because it means I’ll have to tell my family sooner than later. But I want it so bad, you know?”
“I know. I can hold your hand for that too,” I promise before I can let the old fears creep up on me again. Ray won’t lead me on and hurt me the way Nell did. That sort of malicious intent isn’t who he is. If he outgrows me, then so be it, but I’m going to grab onto every sweet moment I can with him by both hands.
“That would be amazing!” He smiles at me like I hung the moon and I fall for him even more. This boy is hazardous to my heart.
“Maybe I can make an appointment too. To ask about estrogen,” I suggest, then immediately wonder if it’s overstepping or somehow stealing his moment. His grin just gets even bigger, and he grips my hand harder, waving our clasped hands around as he talks.
“That would be so cool! We can have the same HRT anniversary! And you’re sure about being there to tell my family? You don’t have to. I want to do it in person, you know? And it’s a long drive. Or flight?” He pulls a sour face and some of the light goes out of his smile.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He worries his lip between his teeth and I resist the urge to thumb it away, waiting him out as he decides how much to share. “It’s just tickets are pricier than I hoped, so it’s probably not worth going home for the November break since my family won’t have time off from work, anyway.”
“Oh, right. I guess it’s not a holiday there?”
“Nope.” Ray sighs.
“Well, if you’re feeling homesick, I’m down for a road trip with you. I’ve even got my passport from my high school graduation vacation with the fam. So long as you’re ready for me to meet your family.” I wink at him with false bravado. “And if you’re comfortable meeting my fam, you wouldn’t be the first boyfriend I’ve brought home. Liam is dying to meet you now that he called and caught me in the afterglow. It would be awesome to bring you to family dinner, but we can go on some just us dates that aren’t for studying first. No pressure.”
Ray hesitates. “You want me to meet your family?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “It’s like what your dad said. If you’re worried about messing around with someone who isn’t proud to be seen with you, then I want you to know I’m serious about us. And if you hadn’t noticed, I’m close to my family. So I want you to meet them. They’ll love you. But only when you’re ready.”
“Yeah. Uh, okay. If we’re doing the family thing, you should come to my aunts’ place next weekend. We’re doing a pie party and maybe another Frisky’s night. I can’t skip since I flaked on their invite to hang out last weekend in favor of studying and they’re so going to report back to the rents that I’m stressed if I skip again.”
I know Ray has a standing lunch arrangement with his aunts, but inviting me to join him feels huge.
“And are you?” I ask, because I’ve noticed that he doesn’t really talk about other friends on campus and he’s got to be lonely and maybe a little homesick. At least he’s been hanging out with my friends more and more. Eating dinner with them even on the days when I have an evening recitation so I can’t join the group.
“Yeah. I’m getting used to things. It’s similar enough that sometimes I forget it’s a whole other country and other times I miss home. But that hasn’t been as much of an issue now that I’ve been hanging out with your friends.”
“Our friends.” I correct him.
“You think so? They aren’t just tolerating me for your sake?” He gnaws his lip. This time, I indulge the urge to brush a finger against his mouth to get him to stop. He flashes me a grin at the touch.
“Nah, you think Celeste would keep her opinion to herself if she didn’t like you? Or Jacob?” I arch a brow at him, because that’s a ridiculous notion. And that’s not even getting into Pixel and Keith’s inability to keep a good roasting to themselves.
“Maybe?” Ray squirms in his seat.
“Nope. They like you for yourself, not just because I brought you around. And they’ll like you more the more they get to know you. Trust me on that.”
Ray opens his mouth, but then he just licks his lips. Before he can formulate a reply, Henry sashays our way to take our orders. We break out the study guides for one last down and dirty review before the test. And I keep having to shove aside thoughts of all the filthy things I want to do when I have Ray alone again.