Chapter 10 #2
She blinks a few times, still thrown by my request. ‘I didn’t think—’ She cuts herself off, lips parting again as she tries to find what she wants to say to me. ‘I didn’t think that was an option.’
‘Why not?’ I push. ‘I want you there. We can make it work. And . . . you miss being in the paddock, don’t you?’
It’s a manipulative question, and my chest pinches at stooping that low. But from our conversation at the bar, I know she misses this world. I know she wants to come back, yet she won’t do it without an express invitation. All I’m doing is giving her one.
‘I miss it a hell of a lot,’ she answers, so quickly that I wonder if she’s even realized she said it.
But when she doesn’t shrink away or take it back, I say, ‘So travel with me. Come back to the paddock. Let me be there for you.’ Let me take care of you.
I don’t say the last bit because I don’t know how she’d take it.
This independent woman, so determined to be on her own and raise a child that way too, doesn’t need anyone to take care of her.
I have no doubt she’s capable of it, and maybe this kid would be better off with just one very dedicated parent.
But I’m too selfish to let that be the case – I want in on this too.
Ava pauses, and I expect a firm absolutely not when she’s done thinking, but instead she levels me with a wary stare. ‘Your team isn’t going to like that. I don’t want to upset anyone.’
So she’s worried about being a problem. I’ve always gotten the sense that she’s a people pleaser, someone who thinks everyone has to like her in order to be accepted.
A peace keeper. I used to be that way, and maybe in some aspects I still am.
But this? No one’s opinion is going to change what I want.
‘I don’t give a single fuck if they like it or not.’
‘Okay, well, my dad isn’t going to like it either,’ she counters. ‘He doesn’t—’ She cuts herself off again, lips pressing together to keep from confessing something. ‘Look, he’s just not going to like me being back.’
‘Do you care about that?’
Instead of answering, she puts her hands on the cushions beside her thighs and pushes herself to her feet.
Her fingers dance nervously over her loose T-shirt, briefly pressing the material close to her body.
My attention dips to her abdomen when her hands pause there for a moment, and it’s long enough for me to see the slight bump of her belly.
I might not have noticed without the emphasis of her touch, and one night together hasn’t made me an expert on her body no matter how much I wanted to memorize every curve, but I know I’m not imagining this. It’s there, the smallest reminder that all of this is real.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she says, brushing it off, turning away to stare through the gauzy drapes covering the balcony doors.
‘I can’t travel like that. Sure, I can work from anywhere, but what would I do about doctors’ appointments?
There’s about ten thousand I have to go to.
I can’t fly back and forth to the US that often. ’
‘Then we’ll find you the best doctors wherever we are,’ I offer.
And I’d fly out any other provider she or the baby might need, make sure there were backups on call at every local hospital.
I would do anything, spend any amount of money, to make sure she and the baby would be safe, comfortable, with their every need taken care of. ‘You’re not due until autumn, right?’
‘November,’ she clarifies, still with her back to me, but she doesn’t protest further.
‘We can make this work,’ I press. I’m reaching the end of what I can say without dropping to my knees and begging or making this seem like some fucked-up guilt trip. ‘But I understand if you’d rather stay home. I know I’m asking a lot. And it’s not like this was anywhere in your plans.’
She turns a little now, enough that I can see her nose scrunch, a silent Yeah, no shit it wasn’t in my plans. Of course, she’s polite enough to keep the words to herself.
‘Can I have some time to think?’ she finally says, voice small in a way that cracks my heart, because once again I’ve thrown this woman’s life into complete chaos. It’s like that’s all I’m capable of doing to her.
‘Of course.’ Sensing her dismissal, I slowly rise from the sofa.
The muscles in my neck and back protest as I move, a reminder that this encounter hasn’t been my first car crash of the day.
‘I have some work to do at the factory, so I’m flying back to the UK tonight.
After that, I’ll be in London with my family until it’s time to head to Imola.
I think I’ll tell them the news while I’m home.
’ I pause, sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans to keep from reaching out to touch her. ‘Would you like to be there when I do?’
I’m not expecting a yes – it’s probably outrageous of me to even invite her along.
But if I’m going to be involved, so is my family.
With Sami following me around the world as my assistant, and with my mum, four aunts, and brother all active participants in my life, this kid’s going to be surrounded by Yousefs from day dot.
And as the mother of my child, Ava will be surrounded by them too.
I know there will be some . . . complications with my family regarding the details of this situation. I can already see them looping through Ava’s mind as she faces me again, a shimmer of deep apprehension in her eyes.
‘I don’t know,’ she hedges. ‘But you probably shouldn’t be there when I tell my dad. He’s not going to take this news well.’
It absolutely makes me a coward, but I don’t want to be there either. ‘Just let me know if you change your mind, and I’ll be with you.’
Ava offers me a weak smile, and while it’s better than nothing, it still hurts me to see her worry.
I want to smooth my hands over her rounded shoulders and draw her in for a hug that she probably needs, but despite the little touches we’ve both stolen, it feels like a step too far after she pulled away from me.
She may be having my baby – fucking hell, what a thing – but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re nothing more than acquaintances, no matter how long I’ve been far too aware of her.
I settle for dipping my head to meet her gaze. ‘Take a few days to think it over,’ I instruct as gently as I can. ‘I’ll give you my private number and you can call me when you’re ready. We’ll talk more then.’
She nods, throat working as she swallows hard, like the words she wants to say are stuck there. I won’t press her for them.
Unable to resist, I slip a hand from my pocket, the pad of my thumb brushing her cheekbone as I push away some of the dark hair that’s fallen into her eyes, tucking it behind her ear.
My touch lingers for a few seconds too long to be just friendly, but this time, she doesn’t pull away as her eyes swing up to meet mine.
‘It’s going to be okay, princess. I promise.’