33. Millie
Millie
Millie’s body ached from tension. She’d tried calling her mum twice and Dexter once, but neither had picked up.
She stared at the ceiling. Moonlight filtered through the window, highlighting dust particles. She followed them with her finger. Footsteps shuffled outside her room. She held her breath until they’d passed. Strike must be doing checks again.
She checked her phone. Two a.m.
She scratched at her arms. She missed Strike’s care, his authority, and his demands. Her breath caught. And there was more.
She missed the way he laughed with her, touched her, and looked at her like he craved her.
Did he really want to just meet as friends, or did he feel guilty for the past? She’d ask him when she saw him next. She should have asked him before, but she was so used to hiding when things got too real.
She hit call on her mum’s number again.
Hair rose on the back of her neck when it connected.
“Millie, sweetheart, I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls. We had dinner with the captain! Are you okay? Your message was a bit bizarre. Did you mean to send it to us? Your brother mentioned you were on holiday with an old university friend. Are you safe? Are you sick?”
Millie closed her eyes and picked at her cuticles. “You’ve spoken with Dexter recently.”
“Yes.” But he hadn’t responded to Millie’s messages. “He’s keeping an eye on you for me and your dad. I know how vulnerable you can be.”
Millie threw the last fidget tool against the wall but tempered her tone as she replied, “I’m a trained counsellor, Mum. I help people through trauma and painful situations every day. Where did you get this opinion that I’m vulnerable?”
“Well, you don’t have friends—”
“I have friends online, including Rylee.”
“I won’t have the same argument with you. They’re not real friends,” she grumbled. “You refuse to meet new people.”
“I’ve met lots of new people recently,” she replied flatly.
“Because I made you go to that social.”
“I didn’t go.”
“Why not? We talked about this.”
Millie jumped up and paced the room. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“Pixie, you’re acting strange. Do you need to visit your brother?”
Millie blasted a sardonic laugh. “Sure, because he’s perfect and the saviour of the world.” Her mum gasped. “As I said in my message, I’ve spoken to Strike—Caleb. He told me what you and Dexter did.”
“What did he say?”
“You told him you’d cause problems with his parents’ finances and send me to boarding school.”
“Oh, that.”
“Oh, that? I can’t believe you’d do something so awful.”
“He wasn’t good enough for you. You were giving up medicine to be with him. It was your life’s dream.”
“No,” Millie snapped. “I was giving up your dream for me. In fact, I did give it up and went into psychology. It had nothing to do with him.”
“But you’d not said anything about psychology until you dated him. He told us he loved you. You were teenagers. You didn’t know what love was.”
“I knew what love was, and I loved him. He left because of what you said. You made him feel like he didn’t have a choice. You wonder why I don’t have friends and why I haven’t brought someone home. It’s the impact of what you did. You betrayed me.” A sob wrenched itself free from Millie’s mouth.
“I did the right thing at the time,” her mum argued. “But you cried for months after he left. I’d made a mistake, but telling you what we’d done then was pointless because it wouldn’t change anything. The best thing I could do was encourage you to live a new life.”
“You tell me everything I do is wrong. You want me to live the life you’ve determined is right.”
“But you’re not getting out there and meeting people. Watching you cry after Caleb left was heartbreaking. I vowed to ensure you weren’t sad again. You’re sad in your little flat.”
Millie slid down the door until she crouched on the floor, her knees tucked against her body. “You’re overprotective.”
“I want the best for you.”
Millie shook her head. “This isn’t it. Speaking to you daily and forcing me to do things I don’t want to do isn’t the best for me. Telling me my brother should protect me isn’t the best, and threatening our neighbours, the kindest people in the world, certainly wasn’t the best.”
“I want you to be happy. Caleb couldn’t even cope with a little threat. And he didn’t say goodbye. Those aren’t the behaviours of a loving boyfriend.”
“Because of you. You don’t understand how much you messed up my life.” Millie banged her fist against the wall. “None of you did the right thing.”
“I gave you a future. You were the baby girl we weren’t meant to have. Our little miracle to keep safe,” her mum pleaded.
“You tried to wrap me in cotton wool and stop me from living.”
“I’m sorry. I just… I thought I knew best. I did know best. Are you able to forgive me?”
“Based on how I feel right now? No.” Millie rested her forehead on her folded arms. “Please do something for me.”
“Yes, sweetheart, anything.”
“Tell Dexter to call me immediately. He’s avoiding my messages, and he’ll respond to you.”
“Okay. But are you safe? Normally, I know where you are because you don’t leave your flat and—”
“Goodbye, Mum.”
“I love you, Millie.”
She hung up the phone and let it fall onto the soft carpet. She buried her head in her hands and rocked, desperate to stop the way her heart collapsed.