34. Millie
Millie
She returned to her bed and tried to sleep, but within minutes, her phone rang again.
“Dexter, why did you hide Caleb’s letter, then rip it up and return it without telling me?”
“It’s five a.m. here, and you don’t even say hello. I don’t know what you mean about a letter.” His voice hit a higher pitch.
“Don’t lie to me. I can’t be arsed with your bullshit.”
“What’s got into you? You never talk to me like this.”
“Because when you left for university, I was barely a teenager, and I admired you.”
“And now?” he stuttered.
“You’re always judging me.” She grabbed a hairband and twisted it around her fingers. “Tell me why you hid the letter from me, or our relationship is done forever.”
“I presumed Caleb told you one of my secrets in the letter. That’s why I opened it.”
Millie nearly dropped the phone. “What?”
“The night after Caleb’s last college exam, I was home with old friends. He was out celebrating with his classmates. He saw me.”
Millie twisted the band as she held the phone between her ear and shoulder.
“He’d wanted me to join him, but I insisted he spend time with his friends.
” At five a.m. that day, he’d texted her to meet him in the shed.
She sat in his lap, and he held her tight until the sun came up before sneaking home, but he’d never explained what was wrong. “He didn’t say he saw you.”
“Because I told him not to. He rescued me that night.”
“Did you get in a fight?”
“I tried to.” Dexter sighed. “He rescued me from myself.”
“I don’t understand.”
Dexter paused for so long that Millie checked they were still connected.
“It started when I left university and joined a finance firm in London.”
“I remember. Mum was so proud. Her best boy conquering the world.”
“It wasn’t like that. They forced us to work eighteen-hour days. And when we weren’t working, we partied. The only way to keep up was to take drugs. I spent my days on coke.”
“What? You never said.”
“No one outside of work knew. My bosses encouraged it. They did it, too. That night, I was home and acting like the big man in town. I took more than normal. I drank too much and acted like a shithead. I didn’t care, though.
I spiralled because I was so unhappy in my job and couldn’t see a way out. ”
“What happened?”
“I got aggressive. I always did when I took coke. I was ejected from the club, my friends ditched me, and the next thing I knew, Caleb was sitting with me and telling me the paramedics were coming. He’d kept an eye on me from the moment I arrived in the club.”
“Why paramedics?” She tasted blood from where she’d ripped a hole in her lip from how hard she bit it.
“I wasn’t just aggressive. I struggled to breathe, and then I collapsed. I don’t remember any of it, but Caleb said I had a seizure. He sat with me and kept me safe.”
“He didn’t want you to be alone.” Millie’s head dropped to her chest.
“I guess.”
She gritted her teeth. “I can’t believe you never told me this.”
“I was Mum’s perfect son. I couldn’t let anyone find out.
After that, I left my job and told you I was going travelling, but instead, I went into detox for a few months.
Caleb paid for it with his savings. The day I came out was when Mum learned you were ditching your plans for university and you and Caleb were in love.
I was terrified he’d tell Mum and Dad what I’d done.
I encouraged her to ban him from seeing you. I couldn’t let my secret get out.”
Any sympathy she had for what he’d been through left with those last two sentences.
Millie shook. “You selfish arsehole. He did all that for you, and then you fucked his life. And if you’d been on our side, Mum would have relented. He wouldn’t have joined the army.” And experienced things that nearly broke him.
“It’s not my fault.”
“Take some fucking responsibility. Did you read the letter?”
“Briefly,” he grumped. “It didn’t mention me, but if you two had gotten back together, you and Mum would have found out. You needed to believe he’d ditched you. By returning that ripped-up letter, he’d think you’d rejected him. He wasn’t good enough for you.”
Millie raised her voice. “You didn’t think the man who saved your life, gave you money, and kept your secret was good enough for me? Me?”
“No one was good enough. You’re special, Millie. He was a nineteen-year-old loser with no future trying to bed you. He convinced you to ditch medicine.”
“Don’t pretend you did this for me. This was all about you,” she snarled, running her fingers through her hair.
She hissed as she snagged a knot. “I chose psychology. I’m a fucking adult, just like I was then yet you made decisions about my life.
Caleb’s lived with guilt and pain for years. Are you sorry?”
“Of course I am. If I could change it now, I would.”
“I don’t believe you,” she snapped. “If you’re so sorry, change it now.”
“Wh—what do you mean?”
“Tell Mum and Dad what happened that summer. Stop pretending you’re the perfect son. Tell them the truth. We won’t speak until you do.”
“But, Pixie—”
“Stop calling me that,” she shouted. “You gave Caleb an ultimatum. Now, I’m giving you one. Speak to Mum and Dad, or consider our relationship over. And write a letter of apology to Caleb. I’ll pass it on.”
“You’re with him now, aren’t you? You’re acting like this because of him.”
She slammed her hand into the wall. “I’m doing this because of me, a person you don’t know at all. Fix what you did, Dexter, or we’re done.” Millie hung up and screamed.
There was a knock at the door.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” The panic in Strike’s voice was like barbed wire around her throat.
Her body shook as each revelation from the last few days pinned her. “I’m fine.” Millie opened the door. “See.”
Strike loomed over her. He stared at her before studying every corner of her room. His dark-rimmed eyes returned to hers.
“I’ve left some apple pie and custard in the kitchen for you. You didn’t eat much at dinner. Did you talk to your family?” he asked, his jaw tight.
“Yes.” He inspected her face. She’d worn a mask for years. He didn’t stand a chance of getting her secrets with one glance. “Why are you still awake?”
He visibly bristled. “I was heading to the gym. I couldn’t sleep.”
His T-shirt gripped his torso tightly, and his shorts were on the cusp of ripping around his thick thighs.
“This house has a gym? I still haven’t looked around.”
“Knowing the layout and exits could save your life. I’ll give you a tour tomorrow. We’ll discuss how I’m keeping you safe and the next plans.”
He stretched, causing his shorts to rise slightly. The movement revealed the black ink of a tattoo on his thigh. When he realised where she was staring, he yanked the hem down.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me so far,” she said, still focused on his thighs. “And for the apple pie.”
“No worries. You can look after yourself, but I needed to be useful and…” She waited. She wouldn’t let him hide from his thoughts. “I like knowing you’re eating something I’ve prepared for you.”
Her smile was reflected in his face, although his was shyer.
“Don’t work too hard at the gym. You need sleep so you can guard me.” It was the only way to convince him to get rest. “And put some joggers on. I’d hate to catch sight of your secret tattoo again.”
He cleared his throat and gave a half-hearted scowl. “You see too much. Goodnight, Sunset.”
“Goodnight.”
She closed her door and slumped against it.
She wasn’t going to get any sleep now.
What she needed was to walk. She always processed better when she walked alone, which would be impossible with a bodyguard tracking her every move.