23. Willow
Willow
I can’t believe this is finally happening.
Beck is looking at me like he needs me, and honestly I need him just as bad. I stand from his bed and pull my top off before throwing it on his bedroom floor. I reach around and unhook my bra, tossing it on top of my shirt.
I know Beck is nervous about crossing this line with me, but I also know he wants it. So, if I have to take the lead to get this started, I will.
“Your turn,” I say, nodding to his shirt.
It seems to pull him out of his thoughts. He smirks and reaches behind him to pull his shirt over his shoulders. I’ve seen Beck shirtless before, but seeing his bare chest in a bedroom where I know what’s about to happen makes this feel way more intimate.
I move to start unbuttoning my shorts, but he stops me. “Let me do that.”
I drop my hands and wait for him to close the space between us. He doesn’t take his eyes away from mine as his trembling hands unbutton my shorts and slide them down my legs, underwear included. I shiver as his fingertips lightly trail up my bare leg.
“You’re sure about this?” he asks me, his voice deeper than usual.
“Yes. Are you?”
“Not at all. But that’s not gonna stop me.”
He leans in and kisses me, cupping the back of my neck to bring me closer. I fumble with his belt and the button on his jeans. I want him naked, and I can’t wait one more second.
It takes a little effort to get his jeans down over his hips and ass, but then he’s standing in front of me completely naked, and it takes my breath away. This is actually happening.
His free hand moves down my body, between my legs. I’m embarrassingly wet. He smiles against my lips as he runs his finger through it.
He slowly inserts his finger inside me, and I arch into him. It feels so good to have him finally touching me where I’ve been craving. He pumps his finger in and out a few times before he adds a second.
“Your cunt is so tight, baby. You’re gonna have to relax if you want to get my cock in here.”
“I know,” I say, exhaling. “I’m just nervous. This doesn’t feel real.”
“It’s real, baby. It’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt. I’m afraid you’re going to ruin me.”
I hope I do ruin him. I hope I’m always on his mind even after I leave. It’s selfish of me, but I want to be the one he’s always thinking of because I know he’s going to be the one I’m thinking of.
He curls his fingers up, making my knees buckle.
He lets out a quiet chuckle and removes his finger.
“No,” I whine.
“Lay down, baby. I’m hungry.”
I don’t know what I was expecting from him, but Beck talking dirty is going to be on repeat in my mind for the rest of my life.
I sit on his bed and scoot back, opening my legs wide for him.
I’ve only let a guy go down on me once, and I didn’t particularly enjoy it, but I have a feeling this is going to be an entirely different experience with Beck.
He kneels in front of the bed and trails gentle kisses up my thigh as he moves closer to my center.
My heart is racing as his tongue finally makes contact with me.
“Oh my god,” I whimper.
He thrusts his tongue inside me a few times before he moves up to my clit, where he starts moving in circles so painfully slow it feels like he’s trying to torture me.
His fingers find their way back inside me. This feels so much different than I thought it would. My body starts to relax and enjoy the way he’s making me feel when his tongue presses a little harder and starts to move a little faster.
“Beck, I—”
He doesn’t stop to acknowledge that I said anything.
I glance down and see his head buried between my legs, and it’s so fucking hot.
He looks like he’s actually enjoying it.
I didn’t know guys actually liked to do this, but I shouldn’t be surprised.
Beck isn’t one of the boys I’ve been with before.
Beck knows how to please a woman and wants to do it properly.
He curves his fingers inside me, and I feel my pleasure rise to a peak before I’m falling over the edge with his name on my lips.
He doesn’t stop until I have to push him away from my swollen clit.
“Fuck, Willow. I could eat your pussy all fucking day.” Part of me wishes he would. I can’t believe how good that felt.
My release is all over his mouth and he doesn’t bother wiping it off before he climbs up my body and kisses me.
“That was amazing,” I tell him when he comes up for air.
“Baby, I’m just getting started.” He climbs off the bed and goes to his bedside table to grab a condom. I watch as he rolls it onto himself and walks back to me, situating himself between my legs again.
“Alright, baby, I might stretch you a little bit, but I promise I’ll make you feel good.”
I nod, incapable of saying anything as my eyes stay glued to where Beck is lining himself up.
He presses in so slowly that I think I might cry, but I know he’s doing it to be gentle.
When he’s fully seated inside me, we both exhale. “Good girl. Fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight.”
“Move, Beck. Please,” I beg.
He chuckles but slowly starts to move in and out of my pussy. He keeps himself upright, and one of his hands hooks under the back of my knee while the other one plays with my nipple.
He picks up a steady rhythm, hitting me deeper and deeper every time. My body relaxes and accepts him like he was always supposed to be here.
Then he’s flipping us over for me to straddle him.
“I’ve got to admit, baby. I’m a little obsessed with your tits, and I wanna watch them while you ride me.”
Oh my god, how could I possibly say no to that? I place my hands on his chest and move my hips against him. I didn’t think it was possible, but it feels like he’s even deeper at this angle.
His fingers dig into my hips as he helps me move on top of him. I lean down and my hair curtains around his face. He looks up at me. “So fucking beautiful.”
His words and the friction of my clit against him make another orgasm build so quickly.
“Beck, I’m gonna…”
“That’s it, baby. Come for me.” His fingers dig in a little harder, and I can tell he’s trying to stop himself from coming.
Pleasure washes over me, and my head whips back. “Ohmigod. Ohmigod.”
Beck keeps my hips moving until I’m completely rung out before he finally lets himself come, holding me still on top of him as he pulses inside me.
When he opens his eyes again and stares up at me, I’m in disbelief.
Beck and I had sex.
I let out a little gasp when he pulls me against him and flips us. He pulls out and kisses me gently before saying, “Stay right here. I’ll be right back.”
“Yes, sir.”
He growls, making me smile, before walking to his bathroom to clean himself up.
When he comes back, he cleans me with a warm washcloth, then climbs in and pulls me into his body. “Are you alright?”
“I’m more than alright. I’ve had the best summer, and this was the perfect ending to it.”
“Mmhm.” His fingers trail along my bare stomach.
“Just promise me one thing,” I say.
“Anything, baby.”
“Don’t regret this night, ok? Tonight was special. It was ours. And no matter what happens when I’m gone, I want us both to remember how much this moment meant for us.”
“That’s an easy promise. I could never regret you, Willow.”
He pulls me in tighter, and I listen to his breath start to slow.
I wish I could stay here forever, but Sawyer and I are driving back to my university early in the morning.
Macy’s parents are paying for our apartment this last year, even when we’re gone.
We’re planning on moving our stuff in before we get back in December.
Once I know Beck has fallen asleep, I carefully slide his arm off me and roll out of his bed. He shifts slightly, and I wait to make sure he doesn’t wake up. When his eyes stay closed, I gather my clothes and start putting them back on.
It’s chicken of me not to wake him up and say a proper goodbye, but I know I’ll start crying, and I don’t want his last memory of me from this summer to be me bawling my eyes out.
Before I leave, though, I kiss him on the cheek and whisper, “I love you.”
He doesn’t move or wake up at my declaration. He doesn’t even know that I said it, but I needed to get it out for my own sake.
I’ve loved Beck for years, but this summer, I fell in love with him. It’s going to rip my heart to shreds to leave him, but I wouldn’t change anything that happened.
With one last glance over my shoulder at his sleeping form, I leave his bedroom.
I find some scratch paper in a drawer and write both Beck and Jade a note.
I fold them up, write their names on them, and leave them on the counter in a spot I know they’ll see in the morning.
Then, as quietly as I can, I leave the house and make the silent drive back to Sawyer’s.
It’s not until I’m tucked into my bed that I let the tears fall.
I’ll let myself have one night to cry. One night to wallow in my heartbreak.
But tomorrow, I need to move on. Just like I know Beck and Jade will.