Chapter Six
Beck
Fuck me.
Fuck me this is something I never thought I’d get to feel again.
Kelsey is pressed against my chest, her tiny body, flush with mine and everything about it feels so goddamn fucking perfect that for the first time in a decade, I start to question why the fuck I ever left this place.
I’ve been kidding myself if I thought I was over this woman, if I thought the countless random and meaningless fucks I’ve had over the years even came close to replicating what I had with her.
There is no getting over Kelsey; this woman owns me, she’s always owned me and no matter how hard I try, there’s no changing that. I don’t think I’d ever want to.
I nuzzle her hair, pressing my nose against her ear. I’m about to whisper that we should head to the bedroom so I can get her naked as soon as possible, when she suddenly pushes me away, her hands on my chest and shoving me back.
“Fuck off, Beck,” she says, her eyes glistening with tears. “You don’t get to come in here and save me.”
“Kels,” I say, stepping towards her again. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do this?” she says, incredulously. “Don’t fucking do this? How about you?” she screams, jabbing me in the chest now. “Don’t fucking do this!”
“What?!” I yell, throwing my hands up in frustration.
Kelsey stands there, hands on her hips, face flushed, hair wild and her don’t-fuck-with-me face on.
I have to bite my lip so as not to smile because it’s the same look she used to give me when we were kids.
I usually got it when I told her I was going out with the boys instead of her and she wanted to tell me she wasn’t happy about that.
It’s the look she uses when she’s trying to be little miss tough girl and get her own way.
It used to work on me every single time, because it’s also the look that would lead to the wildest sex we’d ever had.
And because of that, it’s the look that has always turned me on so fucking bad. And tonight is no exception. I haven’t seen this girl in ten years and even though she’s screaming at me, she’s scared and in trouble, and she’s just pushed me away, I’m hard as a fucking rock.
And I wanna fuck her so bad right now.
I take another step towards her.
“No!” she screams again. “Don’t, Beck. Ten fucking years ago, I needed you, but you weren’t here,” she says, her hand on my chest again.
“Five fucking years ago, when Dad died, I needed you, but you weren’t here.
I’m done fucking needing you, Beck,” she says, her face red from yelling. “So fuck off!”
My blood is coursing through my veins now. My cock, which is harder than it’s ever been, is pulsing in my pants. I have an urgent, almost desperate, need to be buried inside her before I come in my pants like a teenage boy.
Last night when Finn had called, I thought I’d be able to come up here and sort this shit out in a weekend and then head back to Boston.
I’d only gone into work this morning to finish off the paperwork on the Jane Donovan/Dixon case, so that I could drive back late Monday morning.
But when Kelsey had walked in ten minutes ago, all that had been shot to fucking shit.
I’d thought missing her in Boston was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to how I felt when she was standing right in front of me.
And now, as Kelsey screams at me, her chest heaving and her gorgeous tits straining against her tank as she tries to get all up in my face, I know I’ve got no chance of walking away.
Because watching all of this, knowing everything it’s doing to my body and how I still feel about this woman, I’m wondering if I’m ever going to be able to leave this town again.
Well, isn’t that a big fucking turnaround.
I realize I haven’t said anything and as Kelsey stands there with her hands on her hips, chest still heaving, the only thing I can say is, “Well I fucking need you, Kels.” And then I close the distance between us and press my mouth hard against hers, stopping any more discussion.
She whimpers against me, almost as though she doesn’t want to give in.
Her body is stiff in my arms and I can feel her heart pounding as her chest rests against mine.
But then I do my thing, the one move that never failed to get Kelsey naked and beneath me.
I run my hand slowly down her back until I reach the bare skin at the waistband of her shorts.
I feel her body immediately respond to my touch and as I push my tongue into her mouth, I slip my fingers under her tank and run them all the way up her spine.
Kelsey groans into my mouth now and I can’t help but smile, knowing I’ve got her. I grind my erection into her hip, walking us towards the couch where I intend to strip off all her clothes, take her across my hips and have her ride me until neither of us can walk.
“God you feel so fucking good,” I murmur, my mouth leaving hers as I kiss a path down her neck.
I pull one of the straps of her tank and bra off her shoulder and kiss my way down to her breast, pushing the cup roughly aside as I take her nipple in my mouth, biting and sucking.
She groans again, pushing her tits higher as though she wants more.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” I say, my hand grabbing at her other breast, my fingers mimicking my tongue.
Kelsey’s hands are on my hips now, her fingers fumbling for my belt.
Everything about this feels so familiar, but so new, all at the same time.
I haven’t been with her in so long and her body already feels different in my arms. She’s all long legs and lean muscle, her skin already tanned from the sun.
But underneath it all, she’s still the same woman whose virginity I took, the same woman who’d blush every time I told her I wanted to watch her come, and the same woman who made me come harder than I’ve ever come before.
“God, I’ve missed you, baby.” The words are out before I can stop them and the second they are, I immediately wish I could take them back. Kelsey’s body goes rigid in my arms again before she pushes me away.
“Get out, Beck,” she says, her voice detached and emotionless.
“Kels, what the fuck?”
She looks at me, her jaw set as though she’s pissed she let things get this far. But it’s her eyes that get me. They are filled with hurt, the same hurt that was in them ten years ago when I told her I was leaving.
“Kelsey,” I say gently, running my hands up and down her bare arms. “Don’t do this, baby. We both want this, you know we do.”
She shakes her head, her body still tight and unyielding. “No, Beck, I don’t. You don’t get to miss me after you walked away. And right now, I want you to get out of my house,” she says, pulling away and walking towards her front door. “I don’t need your help anymore.”
I run a hand through my hair in frustration before reaching down and adjusting my pants.
Two minutes ago I thought I’d be buried deep inside the only woman I’ve ever loved, only now, she’s kicking me out without so much as an, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us.
I walk towards the door, giving her dog a quick pat on the way. I see Kelsey glare at her in response.
I stop when I reach the door. “This isn’t over, Kelsey,” I say. “I’m not leaving until this guy is caught.”
“Whatever, Beck,” she says, pushing me all the way out. “Don’t expect to see me.” And then she slams the door in my face and I’m left standing on her front porch.
“Fuck,” I say as the outside light goes off.
I walk down the steps and head towards my truck, which I’d parked outside the neighbor’s house.
Kelsey wouldn’t have recognized it anyway, I’ve only had it two years, but I didn’t want to give her any excuse not to come inside.
“Fucking hell,” I say again, sliding in behind the wheel.
I pull away from the curb and head back into town.
It’s Saturday night, so for once the place is actually open, if open is the right word to describe it.
Come back on a weeknight and this place is deader than a fucking graveyard, all the stores and most of the restaurants closed as the owners are tucked up at home in front of the TV.
I head towards the one place that was always open though, the one place I know I need to go.
If this place is as I remember it, which judging by the lack of action on the streets it is, then half the town already knows I’m back.
And if I don’t go and see Pop before the night’s over, then I know there’ll be hell to pay.
Not just from him, but half the fucking town.
Jesus christ, this was half the reason I left in the first place.
Fuck knows how Kelsey could ever put up with it, especially when we seemed to be the main source of gossip for the whole fucking town.
Guess that’s what happens when the chief of police’s son gets busted fucking the owner of the most popular inn’s only daughter. Rumor and gossip spreads and before I could say, “mind your own fucking business,” the whole town had us married and Kelsey knocked up.
“Fucking hell,” I say out loud, my hand slamming the steering wheel in frustration as the image of Kelsey, pregnant with my child, flashes before me.
That wasn’t what I’d wanted back then, I was only nineteen for christ’s sake.
But now, after seeing her tonight, after tasting and feeling everything I’d been missing for the last ten years, fuck, I’d do just about anything to have Kelsey be mine again.
Shaking my head, I pull around to the back of O’Loughlin’s, parking my truck next to Pop’s SUV. Guess I’m gonna have to see if I can crash at home too, seeing as my chances of sleeping with Kelsey seem to have been shot to shit.
“Well, well, well,” my dad says as I walk in through the back door of the pub. “I was wondering when you’d show your face in here.”
“Hey, Pop,” I say, my body collapsing on a stool at the corner of the long bar. He slides a Guinness towards me and I smile gratefully, my body suddenly exhausted from the day’s events.
“How long are you back for?” he says, wiping his hands as he stands in front of me. I shrug, not really sure what’s going to happen now. “You been to see her?” he asks.
I look up and see Pop’s keen eyes watching me. Of course he’d know why I’m back, he wasn’t Chief of Police for fifteen years for nothing. “Yeah, just now.”
“And?”
“And what?” I ask, frustrated as I down half my pint in one go.
“And what are you going to do about it all?”
“Jesus christ, Pop,” I say, frustrated. “Finn’s the chief in this town, not me.”
Pop slings a towel over his shoulder as he pours a pint of beer for a guy standing beside me. The pub is half full tonight, mainly tourists, but I’m grateful, because it means nobody I know is in here. Fuck knows the shit I’d be getting from them for being back.
“Yeah, but you’re the one who’s in love with her, aren’t you,” he says, turning to give me a knowing look.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not in love with her,” I say, even though the words sound like bullshit even to me.
Pop laughs and I shoot him a dirty look. “That’s the biggest load of crap, if ever I’ve heard it,” he says, handing me another pint. “Sounds like the same crap you used to spin when you tried to pretend you hadn’t snuck Kelsey upstairs to your bedroom most nights.”
I shake my head, remembering all those nights when we were kids.
We hadn’t been able to keep our hands off each other.
I don’t know what it was, but from the minute I started working in her parents’ inn, there’d been no other woman for me.
There was just something about her, and it wasn’t just how fucking hot she was or that she had a body to die for.
It was all the other things, the parts that only I knew about.
Kelsey had always been adventurous and funny as fuck, but she was also tough; the only woman who’d ever stood up to me and pushed back when I pushed first. Our relationship had always been passionate and heated, both of us getting off on pushing each other’s buttons; tonight had been a prime example of that.
Only tonight, Kelsey had put a stop to it.
Something she’d never normally done before.
“Beck,” Pop says, his voice softer now.
“What?” I ask, my shoulders hunched over my pint as I wonder what the fuck I’m supposed to do next.
“She still loves you too, you know,” he says, before walking off to serve another group of tourists.
“Fuck,” I mumble into my beer. This isn’t going to be as simple as I’d thought.
Sunday morning and I wake to the sun spilling into my childhood bedroom and the sound of waves crashing, coming in through the open window. I roll over, half expecting to find Kelsey sleeping beside me, but then I remember, I’m twenty-nine, not nineteen, and we are no longer together.
I sit up, knowing there’s no chance of me getting back to sleep now. It’s only seven o’clock in the morning, and despite a pounding headache from the countless pints of beer I’d drunk last night, they’d been the only thing to put me to sleep in the first place.
“What are you doing here, you idiot?” I ask my reflection when I walk into the bathroom.
“She doesn’t want you here and you’re a fucking idiot to think you can waltz in here and sort everything out.
” I shake my head at how pathetic I am before climbing into a hot shower.
I need to go and pick up my truck and then I need to go and see Finn, find out what’s going on with the search for this fuckhead who’s decided to stalk Kelsey.
As I towel off and walk back towards my room, pulling on a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt that Kelsey always used to try and steal, I know I’m also going to have to go and see her.
If nothing else, I need to apologize for last night.
Breaking into her house—even if it wasn’t technically breaking in because I knew the alarm code—was a dick thing to do.
And even if she wasn’t prepared to forget about what happened ten years ago and maybe give us another shot now, I knew I still wanted her to know that despite everything, I was going to find this guy.
Because if it’s one thing I knew more than anything, Kelsey belonged to only one person.
Me.