Chapter 6
Crusher
“Okay, so Blaze, you’ll be out front leading the way as normal, Trick will attend the run this time, and Crusher and Crash will accompany,” Cage says as he reads off his notes before him, most likely checking Trick's shifts in the ER and mine with the ambulance and firehouse.
I swallow hard as I look down, trying my hardest not to protest even though every single fiber of my being wants to.
I fucking hate going on the runs. I hate that I have to be reminded every fucking day that I was never the first pick for my dad, that he never trusted me. If he did, he wouldn’t have shoved me to the side as he did, fuck, he wouldn’t have ruined my childhood.
“Blaze, what two prospects do you need this time around?” Cage asks and Blaze answers, “Tray and Lewis,” though I feel his eyes on me, but I ignore him like I always do.
Every fucking club run, he goes down a wrong road on fucking purpose to get me to call him through our helmets so I can redirect him.
Sometimes he’ll demand help in front of the other officers.
Most of the time I just walk away until Cage opens his mouth and demands I help, using his presidency patch against me.
Fuck I miss the days when he was in prison, then the year he spent riding nomad, forced by his father.
Then the fucker met his little ballerina, Drew, and brought her home before having a couple of kids with her.
Now he’s in my business, noticing the disconnect I have with the club, something most brothers haven’t noticed.
You’d think for someone who didn’t want his cut, who threw his patch on the ground after his sister was killed, would see that I don’t want to be involved right now?
“Okay, so you’ll go pick up the shipments, then meet the Dark Angels with the gear in Rose Hill, but keep an eye out for the pests, they’ve been too fucking quiet lately,” Cage states before he looks at Bones and asks, “How is the garage doing?”
Bones answers, “Business is steady, really good,” and I jitter my leg slightly while side-eyeing my dad, who is glaring and clearly still pissed that I decided against college and went into the fire service, something he should have seen coming.
I was only going into mechanics because he demanded it.
The day he made me into the spare, I decided to finally live for myself.
Unfortunately for him, Blaze was already studying business, and when Chains offered him the manager role at the strip club, he didn’t hesitate.
Now he only had Bones to take over his legacy within the garage.
“Good… Crusher, you’re on shift in three days?” Cage confirms as he looks my way.
I grunt, “Yeah, for five days, then I have two graveyard shifts before I do three shifts at the firehouse, then I’ll have my normal two weeks off.”
He nods and writes down what I’m saying, and Trick adds, “I’ve got three day shifts after we get back, then four night shifts along with my wife.”
Who has Willow?” Lick, his dad asks and Trick smirks.
“Kodi,” he admits, and Lick groans, “That woman is stealing my granddaughter's time!”
Knuckles chuckles from beside me and reminds them, “Because she’s not ready to try for a baby right now, you know she has a low chance of conceiving and an even lower chance of carrying to term, so let her be, yeah?”
Lick grunts at his protective behavior but nods, making everyone laugh, and I half smile.
After she lost their baby so horrifically and nearly died, she may not conceive at all, and I pray that when she is ready, they get their family, because Kodi not being a mom will be a massive fucking shame.
She was born to be a mama, just like my girl was. Fuck.
I swallow hard and look down, my girl on my mind as usual.
Is she really seeing someone?
Did Leena lie because she wants to punish her daughter for leaving?
Has she started a family of her own?
Cage continues with church, going over finances, and I begin to zone out like I normally do now that the important shit is done with and my mind goes haywire.
Thoughts of her moving on, of her being with someone else, starting a family with them and I glare at the black ink tattooed around my ring finger in little patterns that she chose, her name clear as day, despite having it on my neck.
I swear if my wife has met someone else, heads will fucking roll.
***
“Brother, you got any room in the fight tonight?” I ask Knuckles as I follow him out of church, ignoring my dad staring at me, and Knuckles sighs.
“You’ve fought nearly every week, brother. Why not take a break?” he says as he stops in the common room, and I notice Kodi looking our way with concern.
“Because if I don’t fight, then I’ll get myself arrested on purpose just so I don’t have to think anymore,” I admit quietly, and he instantly nods in understanding.
If anyone knows what it is like to feel like they are suffocating, then it’s him.
“Okay, fifth opponent, Mitchells, big fucker, but remember, patients don’t like paramedics with cuts and bruises,” he says.
I nod and mutter, “Thanks, brother,” just as my mom walks over to us.
“Mom,” I state coldly, and she flinches at my tone just as Dad wraps his arm around her protectively.
“Show your mom some respect!” he demands, and I tilt my head at the man and confirm, “Like you did when you cheated on her the night before your wedding?” I smirk, “What is it you said, Killer? I couldn’t have loved Alexiana that much because I cheated, yet you fucked another woman and knocked her up before your wedding.
So does that mean you didn’t love Mom? Should we create a vote to see if she should have her cut taken away? ”
Mom flinches again, and I kind of feel like an ass until Dad snaps, “You’re not too big to have an ass-whooping, son!”
I smirk, “I’d like to see you try, old man,” and his face reddens, but I ignore him and ask my mother, “What is it that you need?”
She swallows before she mentions, “Your plot of land, I wanted to know when you wanted me to design your home?”
“I don’t,” I instantly reply and hurt shines in her eyes, causing Dad to growl, but again I ignore him and confirm, “I won’t be moving onto it,” and everyone freezes in shock while Cage’s dad, Chains mutters, “Fuck, I should have seen that one coming.”
He’s the only fucker that knows about my grandfather's will, fuck, she has no idea her father's old house that I have renovated over the years is still standing, that I live there.
“I haven’t lived behind the clubhouse since I was seventeen, Mom, why would I start now?” I ask while my father vibrates next to her.
“Because this is your home,” she whispers, but I shake my head and deny, “Nah, I have a home,” before I turn and walk out, curses following me, the brothers realizing how disconnected I really am. I ignore everyone, my body itching for a fucking fight.
***
I walk into the locker room of the fight, the underground fight club beneath the gym owned by Knuckles, and throw my bag on the bench, trying to calm my anger.
I feel like I’m slowly slipping, like breathing is becoming difficult, and I don’t know how to stop myself from destroying myself.
Kissing Roxy was the biggest mistake of my life. The second was giving Alexiana space, letting her runaway instead of tying her to our bed until she saw how fucking sorry I was, I still am.
I glare at my bag, the papers inside there are the reason why I’m so fucking pissed, why I need to let off steam.
She sent divorce papers for the third fucking time in eight years, again being sent from a PO box not far from here. I know she can’t be living in another state, but fuck.
If she’d just answer her phone, if she’d just see how much I miss her, how much I need her.
Shaking my head, I go to move towards my bag, the urge to call her pulling me despite deciding not to today, to see if she’ll cave and call me.
The door to the locker room opens, and I turn, but scowl as a half-naked Roxy rushes into the room and before I can react she jumps into my arms and slams her lips against mine.
It shocks the living shit outta me and I don’t think, I shove her hard off me causing her to gasp and land on her foot before she falls onto her ass crying out.
I snap, “What the fuck?!”
She looks up at me and sobs, “You shoved me.”
“No fucking shit, I’m a taken man!” I growl back, and her eyes harden, clearly hating that I’m still claiming Alexiana.
Despite her tears, she chokes, “If that is the case, then I’m pressing charges!”
I sneer, “Go ahead because the five cameras in this room will prove that not only did you throw yourself at me and take me by surprise, but you physically assaulted me, so do me a fucking favor and fuck off!”
Her body trembles as her tears fall before she stumbles to stand, then threatens, “You’ll regret this,” and I sneer, “I regret the moment I stuck my fucking cock inside that used-up cunt!”
Her nostrils flare, and she stumbles out, and I storm over to my bag before I strangle the bitch.
I grab my phone, open the text thread between Cage and me, and type a message.
Me:
Roxy’s about to press charges for assault, have Trick look at the cameras in the fight's locker room and have her fired.
I press send before I bring up my wife's number, then press it.
I grit my teeth as her voicemail picks up yet a fucking gain and my anger explodes as I sneer after the beep, “If you think sending divorce papers yet a fucking gain will make me sign them, then you have another thing coming, come home, wife, because I can’t take this much longer!
Eight years is enough punishment for what I did. ”
I hang up before throwing my phone on the floor, and I take a deep breath.
I need to hit someone.