Chapter 40
Standing in Remy’s bathroom after an impromptu morning fuck that I definitely initiated and don’t at all regret even though my ass is sore, I look around the vanity and wonder when the hell I brought all this shit here.
My clothes are in his hamper and pushed under the rug by the sink. I have three toothbrushes in the cup. That’s my electric razor plugged into the wall. My dentist makes me use high fluoride toothpaste, and there it is, flipped upside down by the sink because it’s almost empty. Does Remy use that toothpaste or did he buy it for me? Did I bring it here?
I’m in this bathroom. Physically, yeah, but historically, too. There’s evidence of my time here, how comfortable I’ve gotten in Remy’s house, and proof of my slow takeover of his space.
When I step into the shower and close my eyes to let the water ease my tension, I realize that the body wash is mine and there’s another tube of fluoride toothpaste in here, along with my fourth toothbrush. Jesus. Is Remy aware of how wholly I’ve invaded his home? Does he care?
I wash twice, then a third time to get rid of all the excess lube, and shut the water off. Standing in the shower to dry off—because I suddenly respect the bathmat and don’t want to soak it—I catch myself in the fogged mirror above the sink.
Yeah, I look like a hot mess who got fucked in the ass twice within the last six hours, but more than that, I look like I fit here. In this bathroom. In Remy’s shower. In his home. Maybe his life.
Clearer than ever before, my mind thinks about the future. About my future. The business is there, thriving and small enough for us to manage. My brothers are all there, happy and horny and being dipshits as they find their people. And Remy is there, holding my hand through it all, getting up to all sorts of kinky fuckery with… me. Just me. Not an open-door policy like we talked about, but a closed door that sometimes gets cracked open for a look-but-don’t-touch show.
Monogamy. With Remy. That’s my fucking future. Jesus fuck, the epiphany!
I glance around all shady-like, hoping no one saw my lightbulb moment. I’ve always prided myself on being above it all, unable and unwilling to settle for the societal norm. I didn’t dream of a life with a wife and kids, even though I grew up in a great one just like it. I wanted something different. I wanted variety and excitement and a road trip style life with Remy, who came with me everywhere and helped me get up to no good. I was settled in this belief, firm on it, okay with it because my personality was too vast to stay focused on one thing—one person—long enough to get attached to it.
Now I’m an attached little shit with a god complex and a plethora of sexy ideas running through my head. Ideas about how to keep our fuck-life thriving so Remy will never leave me. Ideas about how to merge our lives together, keep our business going, and intensify our relationship without actually calling it a relationship. I’m not against the word, but it feels like something so much stronger than a simple relationship.
It’s a bond. An energy. A vibe no two other people can replicate. It’s an understanding and a lack of understanding that brings us together to create a perfect concoction of eager and hesitant, respectful and tempted. We want and want and want, but we don’t immediately take because learning to curb our desires for newfound feelings is more important. He told me I could break his heart, and I asked him not to make me a Sarah.
We’re vulnerable and happy about it.
I’m not gonna start calling him my boyfriend and taking him on romantic dates. I don’t want a heart-shaped tub and a bunch of flowers or any of that bullshit. The whole romance thing still throws me off a bit because it feels Hallmark. Superficial. Not descriptive enough.
Whatever Remy and I are, we’re something unique only to us, and that’s so much better than whispering ‘I love yous’ in his ear and conforming to society’s standard of dating. I don’t care how we do it, but we’ll figure out a way that works for both of us.
“Did you slip on lube and die in there?” Remy shouts through the door. “Let’s go, asshole! We have work!”
Yeah, no romance here. I grin, stepping my dried feet on the bathmat.
Remy got held up at work. There was some sort of air traffic delay, so now I’m at Jed, Laken, and Kade’s cabin to kill some time and shoot the shit. Dom and Liam are here, and Jed and Kade are fighting with Laken about some camping trip she’s going on with Gar.
Kade leans against the counter, looking dangerous and lethal, about to do something about it, while Jed sits on the counter to play the opposite role. Laken, all hundred and fifteen pounds of her, doesn’t back down.
“Not gonna happen, love,” Jed tells her while Dom hands me a glass of whiskey. “You wanna go camping in the mountains with a group of guys, go for it. But not these guys.”
Laken simmers, not enjoying being told what to do. “Gar will be there.”
“Gar’s a sexy little dipshit who believed Amber over you. We love him, but not for this. You aren’t going, Bossy.”
“Kade,” Laken growls.
“You wanna go camping with Gar for a fucking month, fine. Go. But some of these guys are friends with Fordy’s crew. I don’t trust them. It isn’t about us trying to control you. It’s about us not being able to breathe while you’re gone if we know you’re with that particular group.”
Laken deflates.
“Any other group, love. But not this one.” Jed pulls her in for a hug.
While they finish their fight that didn’t actually turn into a fight, Dom smirks at them, but to me, he says, “Who knew those two would find their match in a five-foot blonde?”
She has them by the balls and they both love it, so more power to them.
“Remy fucked me,” I blurt out. Chase it down with some whiskey, say it again. “Remy fucked me.”
The chat in the kitchen stops, Dom’s smile grows, and Liam’s brows shoot up. Yeah, subtlety isn’t my strong suit.
“And?” Dom asks.
I blow out a breath. “Fuck.” There are no words unless they wanna hear me ramble about it all in detail, so I keep it to that and run my fingers through my hair. I loved it. Like, loved it so much that I kinda wanna take a dick up the ass daily. Didn’t expect to love it that much, especially the first time. It hurt a little at the start, but Remy had so much lube in there that it was more of a pressure hurt than a stretching and tearing kind of hurt. I’m right as a daisy down there today, achy but not stinging. So, thanks for being a lube-obsessed maniac, Rem.
“That good?” Liam asks. “Was that your first time bottoming?”
I nod. “That good. First time, but pretty hooked now.”
Liam leans across the table to fist-bump me.
“Are you guys together now?” Dom asks.
I hate that question. What the fuck do we need a label for?
“Together,” I confirm. “Don’t really know how or what it actually means, but… together.” I shrug, uneasy about it because I don’t want it to seem like I’m disrespecting Remy.
“Together is enough,” Laken says, spinning in Jed’s arms. “No need to complicate it if you don’t want to.”
“Proud of ya, fucker.” Kade comes over and plops down beside me, stealing my whiskey. I punch him and steal it back.
“You’re a lucky bastard, Zahn.” Jed sits down with a bottle of water and Laken.
“Why?” I laugh.
Jed looks at me, shaking his head. “Because Rem knows all your bullshit and still wants you. Never thought you’d get that lucky.”
“Speaking of lucky.” Kade hauls Laken off the couch, smacks her ass, and takes her down the hall.
I watch Jed, waiting to see if he’ll follow. He doesn’t. He sips his water and teases Liam. But I have to know…
“Why aren’t you going?” I ask, nodding down the hall.
“Because it’s hot as fuck when Kade gets her all wound up and needy. Give it twenty, and then I’ll swoop in and be the hero as she fucks with me just to piss him off.” He grins.
“You three are so fucked,” Dom says, laughing.
Jed scoffs at Dom. “Oh, come on. If you two go in there and start fucking, Laken will be lost to all of us. She has a thing for guy on guy.”
Dom doesn’t say anything, but his lips quirk into a cocky smirk. He’s the silent, confident type. Words aren’t always necessary for him to get his point across, but trust me, it gets across just fine. He’s already thinking of all the ways he can fuck Liam to appease Laken’s filthy mind. Nothing like the taunt of voyeurism to get a Dare excited.
“Throw in Zahn and Remy, and Laken will be in heaven.” Liam laughs.
“Fuck that. I might be in heaven,” Jed says. “Laken’s kinky on a good day, but with four guys fucking… shit, she’d be wild. Do it. Call Remy. I’m up for some fun.”
I don’t know why voyeurism is so strong in our family, but my cock gets jumpy at the idea of it. I’ve never known Remy to back out of a show, but this might be different for him. These are my brothers, the ones who saw him as an additional family member and my best friend. Will it throw him off to get sexy with me in front of them?
“Where is he?” Dom asks.
“Visiting his dad.” He didn’t want me to go with him because it’s no secret that I dislike his dad, and he didn’t want to deal with my bullshit. Can’t say I blame him, but I need to lock it down because I want to be here for Remy while his dad goes through treatments. He doesn’t need me being a dick. He needs me in his corner, and that’s exactly where I plan to be.
“Tell him to come over after,” Jed says, his eyes drifting down the hall as Laken lets out one of her sexy moans. It’s followed by Kade calling her a bossy bitch.
Zahn: Come to Jed and Kade’s when you’re done. Up for some kinky fuckery?
Rem: On my way.