22. Lachlan
Lachlan
I’d woken a few minutes ago, a little thump against my side jolting me from that twilight feeling into full consciousness. I didn’t dare move, didn’t dare reach out and place my hand against Lainey’s stomach.
But I wanted to.
I almost asked her to marry me last night while she spiraled about never being chosen. Never being loved. I’d almost told her right then and there that we should get married. That I’d keep her safe and care for her and the baby for as long as she would let me.
What the hell had I been thinking? Jumping from one fucked up situation to another with me wasn’t what she needed. I mean, Christ, we’d barely been friends just a few weeks ago.
Lainey groaned, her hand running the length of her belly, before her eyes opened.
“Hey. You’re still here.” Her soft smile shifted to wide eyes. I wanted to see how she’d slept. How she was feeling about everything now that she’d gotten some sleep. But her smile distracted me.
“Yeah. I must have fallen asleep, too. Your little alarm clock kicked me awake this morning.”
“You’ll have to get better about ignoring those kicks, like I have.” Her eyes dropped before flying back up to mine. “Oh, I have to go to the bathroom!”
Lainey rolled away, sitting up with a groan as she pushed to her feet and made her way out of the bedroom with a waddle.
I waited for her to shut the door across the hall before I made my way to my room, stripping out of yesterday's clothing and slipping into clean ones for today. By the time I had my shirt over my head and was heading downstairs, the bathroom door was back open, and Lainey was halfway into her room.
“I hope I didn’t drool on you,” she said a few minutes later as she walked into the kitchen, her fingers digging into her back.
She was wearing stretchy black shorts that fit over her belly, and a sunshine-yellow shirt tucked up under her breasts.
From straight on, she barely looked pregnant, but when she turned to the side to sit at the table, the outfit really accentuated how round her baby bump was.
“Nope, no drool. Some snoring, though,” I teased.
Her mouth turned down. “Sorry about that.”
“I grew up sharing a room with Beau. Your snores aren’t even in the top hundred wildest noises I’ve heard come from a sleeping person. He had night terrors for a few years, and the things he would mumble….”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone talk in their sleep.”
“Maybe not talk, but your little Martian seems to not be afraid to say hello to people.”
She groaned. “I’m really sorry about the kicks.”
“Don’t be. Jessie and Violet let me feel the babies a couple of times, and it’s always so wild to me.”
“Well, you can feel any time you want. I wouldn’t mind sharing the crazy way this invader likes to dance with someone who finds it fascinating. I’m more than ready for it to be a memory.”
I laughed. “So, did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I slept that deeply. I think getting it all out just let my mind finally lean into being safe here.”
I nodded, trying not to puff my chest at knowing she’d felt safe while I’d been lying beside her. “That was the first time in a long time I didn’t…”
Her eyes narrowed, and then she nodded in understanding. “You have nightmares?”
“Yeah. Not always, but they’ve been back lately. Not last night, though. I slept right through the night. Slept really great. Feels like I could run a marathon today.” My hand tightened on my cane. “Well, walk one, at least.”
“A walk does sound nice,” Lainey yawned, stretching her hands over her head. “I think I need to get the blood flowing in my body.”
“Then let's do it.”
“What? Really?” she asked, her eyes flicking out the back window before narrowing as they landed back on me. “I missed out on meeting the horses yesterday. Maybe we could go to the barn?”
The memory of Lainey talking about the springs popped into my mind. “Actually, I have a better idea.”
She crossed her arms. “As long as it’s outside, I think I’m game. I need some sunshine in my life today. And a new plan to talk to your sister.”
“Perfect. Sunshine I can do. And I might have something up my sleeve for you and Jess.”
She smiled. “Imagine two-week-ago Lach saying that.”
Lainey was right. Just a few weeks ago, I couldn’t wrap my mind around walking out the door. And here I was, getting ready to text my family to meet us at the springs. “Put on some sunscreen, Trouble. And I’ll take care of the rest.”
Lainey nodded as she padded across the floor to the hallway.
“Lach?”
“Yeah?”
Her bottom lip went between her teeth before she squared her shoulders. “Thank you. For last night. But I really meant what I said. I don’t want anyone else to know. Not now. Maybe not ever. I feel…like a fool.” Her hand rested on her belly. “I don’t want anyone to treat him differently, you know?”
“I get it. And I won’t say anything.” The tension released from her posture. “But don’t bottle that shit up again. I know, and you can always talk to me, okay?”
Lainey nodded, her cheeks darkening a shade before she turned around and disappeared back up the stairs.
Any one up for swimming at the springs?
“We’re going swimming?”
I couldn’t believe how beautiful Lainey’s smile was. Big, and bright, and like nothing from yesterday was weighing her down. I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t just for her. Although Colt and Hayes had to work, the rest of my family had enthusiastically accepted my invite.
“You remember the road to the springs?”
“Of course I do!” Lainey’s face fell. “I won’t be able to go in, though.”
I flipped on the turn signal, heading down the dirt road that would bring us to the clearing where I knew my family would be waiting for us.
“I don’t have a swimsuit.”
“T-shirt and shorts were always my favorite way to swim,” I joked.
“No. I can’t. I’ll be all wet when we get back in to drive home. But I’ll stick my feet in.”
I pulled onto the grass next to Hawk and Jessie’s SUV.
“Oh, your family’s here?”
“I invited them. Figured what better way to get your mind off everything than listening to us jab at each other?”
“And Jessie?”
“Yeah, she’ll be here, too. Figured she can’t yell too loudly if Ma and Dad are here.”
I watched her swallow. “Yeah.”
“Come on. It’ll be fine.”
Her hand landed on mine as I rested it on the center console. “Are you okay? I mean…is this okay? I know you haven’t left your house since the day you came to get me.”
“I appreciate the check in. And I feel…” Yeah, I felt nervous.
I could feel the anxiety buzzing in the back of my head, about keeping everyone safe around the water, and I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I’d remembered to unplug the toaster before we left, but I was working my hardest to push that all down.
“Hopeful. That this will be good for the both of us.”
“Okay. Then, I guess, last one in the water is a rotten egg?” She laughed as she turned to open the door.
“Hey! No starting that countdown until I help you get down from here. Wait for me to come around.”
I didn’t wait for her reply. I grabbed my cane and made my way around the front of the truck, opening her door for her before I held out my hand for her to take.
“I’ve got it,” Lainey said as she slid down from the truck. “Oh.” Lainey’s hand flew to her side as she braced her other hand against the truck, and I fought the urge to hold onto her.
“You good? What happened?”
“Yeah. I think I’m not the only one excited for the water. Jeepers, little invader. Calm down in there, would you?”
Her shirt was stretched tight over her belly, and I saw the fabric stretch up next to where Lainey’s hand was pressing.
“Maybe you can get him to be nice to me.” She laughed as she picked up my hand and laid it flat on her belly.
“Hey, little guy. Be nice to my friend, okay? If you are, I’ll make sure your mama has some ice cream later.”
“Oh my gosh, why did you not lead with the fact that there’s ice cream to be had?”
“Well, I figured if things went bad with Jess, it could be a little pick-me-up.”
“Oh yeah, good call.” She smoothed her hand down her shirt. “Well…here goes nothing.”