Chapter 37
37
AGE 20
V ivien is so engrossed in her book she hasn’t realized I’m indulging my inner paparazzo and snapping tons of pics. She’s curled up on the sofa in her place, wearing a cami top and leggings, with her feet bare and her hair up in a messy bun. There isn’t a scrap of makeup on her face, and her skin is flawless perfection where the sun highlights it through the window. I wonder if the blush staining her cheeks is from the heat of the sun or whatever filth she’s reading. Ash has been loaning her some of the smutty romance she reads. Not that I’m complaining. I’m more than reaping the rewards.
My girl looks a little overheated. I should do something about that. I’m smirking to myself as I shove my phone back in my pocket. I tiptoe in my socks to the kitchen, slowly and carefully opening the freezer part of the fridge. Sticking my hands inside, I wait until they’re nice and chilly, and then I creep back into the sitting room. My little American beauty hasn’t budged. Viv is thoroughly sucked into whatever she’s reading, and she doesn’t hear me approach from behind.
I move fast, sliding one cold hand down the front of her cami and under her bra cup, fondling her boob and tweaking her nipple.
“Dillon!” She screams, instantly dropping the book and trying to pry my hand free. “Your fingers are like icicles!”
Driving my free hand down the other side of her top, I grab her other tit, giving it the same treatment. “You looked hot, Hollywood. Thought I’d help you to cool down.” I grope her tits and grind my hips against the back of the sofa as I instantly harden.
“You’re an asshole.”
Removing my hands, I throw myself over the back of the sofa, landing beside her. “Yep.” I draw the word out as I slide the straps of her cami and bra down her arms, freeing her magnificent tits. “But I’m your asshole.” My lips descend on one boob as I grope and fondle the other.
A breathy moan leaves her lips. “What time does Ash’s shift finish?”
“She’s on the late shift,” I confirm in between sucking her nipple. “She won’t be home for hours.”
“Oh god, Dillon. I need you.” She reaches in between our bodies and grips my dick through my tracksuit bottoms.
“I know what you need, babe.” I hop up, chuckling at her frown. “Strip, beautiful. I’ll be right back.”
Tugging my T-shirt off as I race into the kitchen, I toss it on the tiled floor and snatch the chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer. I pop it in the microwave for a few seconds to soften it a little before rejoining my sexy naked girlfriend in the living room.
Vivien is sprawled out on the leather sofa on her back with her thighs spread and her fingers between her legs. “I started without you.” She smirks at me as I quickly remove my socks and bottoms, kicking them away.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” Kneeling between her open legs, I stare at where her fingers are disappearing into her glistening cunt. “You’re fucking soaked, beautiful.”
“It’s the book,” she pants, looking at me with flushed skin and desire-laden eyes. “The heroine was being nailed by three hot bikers, and boy, did they know what they were doing.”
“Bullshit.” Wrenching her fingers out of her cunt, I raise her hand to my mouth. “It’s me . Always me .” I lick her juices off her fingers, and my cock twitches, dying to dive into her welcoming warmth. “I’m the only one who gets you wet, Hollywood, and I’ll never share you, so put all ideas of foursomes out of your mind ’cause it’ll never happen.”
“Prove it,” she challenges, waggling her brows.
“Oh, baby, I fully intend to.” Flipping the lid on the ice cream tub, I sink between her legs.
“What’re you doing?” She props up on her elbows, staring at me curiously.
“Eating ice cream.” I flash her a flirty grin. “From your pussy.” Her eyes widen around a gasp. “I’m going to cool you down before I heat you right back up.” I scoop ice cream from the tub with two fingers and shove it into her cunt. Vivien screeches, attempting to wiggle out of my reach, but I keep one arm tight against her hips holding her in place as I drive my tongue inside her, and I almost come on the spot when I taste her juices mingling with the decadent chocolate goodness.
“Fuck me,” I say after I’ve licked it all up. “I’ve just found my new favorite hobby.”
“You’re so dirty, Dillon,” she rasps, watching with a heated stare as I scoop more ice cream up and slowly coat her inner walls with it.
“You love it.” I smirk as I lap at her chocolate-covered folds. “And I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”
“Have you ever done that before?” she asks a couple of hours later after we’ve finished eating ice cream off one another and fucking. We’re freshly showered and lying on the sofa, draped around one another.
“Eat ice cream out of a woman’s cunt?”
She lifts her head from my chest, turning to face me. My arm tightens around her back, keeping her tucked in close. “Yeah.” She nibbles on her lip, and I see the anxiety flaring behind her eyes.
“Never,” I truthfully reply. “I’ve only done that with you.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “Hottest sex ever.”
The relief is obvious on her face. “Every time we have sex, I think it can’t get any better, but it always does. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you fucking me. Even when we fuck two or three times a day, it’s still not enough. I always want more.”
My chest swells with masculine pride. “Snap, Hollywood. I always want you. Why do you think I have such a hard time keeping my hands off you?”
She rolls her eyes while fighting a smile. “Here I thought it’s because you love groping me in public and marking me as yours.”
I quirk a brow. “Are you complaining?”
“Hell no. I love when you get all possessive and the grabby hands come out.” Her eyes narrow a little. “Though I draw the line at public groping when we’re with your family, but otherwise, I have no issue with it.”
“I want to murder every man who looks at you,” I admit. “Sometimes, I even want to throttle my own brother.” For the most part, Ro has gotten over Viv. But on odd occasions, I see his look lingering, and I don’t like it.
“Don’t hate on Ro. He doesn’t want me like that anymore.”
The jury is out on that one, but I’m not arguing with her over my little brother.
With the tip of her finger, she traces circles on my chest, following the ink patterned on my skin. “Has sex always been like this for you?” Vulnerability is back on her face as her eyes lift to mine.
“No.” I shake my head as I give her another truth. “Before you, sex was always about an instant release and nothing more. It was fleeting and never memorable.”
“How many girls have you been with?” she blurts.
“I haven’t kept count, and I’m not sure you really want to know.”
She looks away, and in this moment, I hate I’ve been such a hound. “Hey.” I tilt her chin up with my finger. “None of them meant anything. You mean everything.”
“Sometimes, I don’t understand how I can keep you satisfied when I’m much less experienced than those other girls.”
“Vivien.” I sit up against the arm of the sofa, pulling her with me. I reposition her so I’m cradling her in my arms. “You satisfy me completely, and no one compares to you. No one.” I drill her with a sharp look, hoping to embed that truth deep. “Where is this coming from?”
She shrugs, resting her head in the crook of my neck. “Don’t mind me. I’m due for my period, and I get a bit mopey.”
I make a mental note to check we have Nurofen and Epsom salts. Vivien suffers badly with her periods, way worse than my sister during her time of the month. I hate to see her in pain and want to do whatever I can to help.
“Can I ask you something?” I rub a hand up and down her arm.
“Of course.” She plants a featherlight kiss to the underside of my jaw, and I shiver all over.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I was wondering if you’ve had sex with anyone else besides me and your ex.” I must be a glutton for punishment because why the fuck would I open up this conversation?
“No,” she quietly replies. “I’ve only been intimate with both of you.”
I swallow thickly over the lump in my throat, not wanting to ask this question but needing to at the same time. “Was it like this with him too?”
Tense silence bleeds into the air, and I instantly regret asking it.
“No,” she whispers after a few silent beats. “It wasn’t like this. It was different. Special in a different way.”
“Oh.” My stomach drops to my toes.
“Dillon.” She lifts her head and clasps my face. “What we have is purely ours. I’ve never had this with him, but don’t ask me to compare my relationships. Each was different.” She peers deep into my eyes. “I’m not going to lie and say my past didn’t mean anything. Reeve was a huge part of my life, and he took a lot of my firsts. As much as he hurt me, I won’t trash the good memories or rewrite history, but you have nothing to feel jealous about because I’m with you . I’m crazy about you , Dil. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever felt this alive or this happy, and a lot of that is down to you.”
I shouldn’t feel such crushing disappointment. Of course, I can’t erase her memories of him, and a few months with me isn’t comparable to the years she spent with him, but I guess there was a part of me that hoped I meant more.
It’s stupid, and I brought this on myself by asking the question in the first place.
“You’re upset.” Emotion pools in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” I clear my throat and force a smile. “I know I can’t compare with all you shared with him. A few months is a blip compared to years with someone.”
She vigorously shakes her head. “No, Dil. Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss what we have because it means the world to me.” She kisses me softly. “You mean so much to me. You’ve spoken about the intensity of our connection and how it scares you, and honestly, I feel that too because it’s intense in a way I have never experienced. And whether it’s months or years, it doesn’t matter.” She puts her hand over her heart. “I know what I feel in here, and it’s deep and true. If anything, what we have means more because our connection has been powerful from the instant we met, and it’s only strengthening the more time we spend together.”
The air charges with unspoken words, and it’s not the first time lately we’ve found ourselves in this place.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we basically live together, and I never had that with him.” She caresses my face, and the look on her face is nothing short of absolute love. Can I dare to dream it’s true? We’re both holding our cards close to our chests, for obvious reasons. “You can’t compare them because they’re not comparable.”
“I’m sorry if I ruined the mood.”
Her fingers thread through my hair, and a deep sense of contentment settles in my chest. I love her fingers in my hair and the way she massages my scalp. “Never be sorry for speaking your mind and sharing your feelings, and you didn’t.”
“You don’t do anything to make me feel like this, but sometimes I can’t help feeling like I’m constantly in his shadow.”
“You’re not, Dil. You’re your own person, and I see you .” Her lips open and close, and I will her to say it because right now I’m selfish enough to need those three little words. But she traps them inside, the same way I do. A few seconds later, she climbs off my lap. “I have something for you. Stay here.”
I lean my head back as she runs off to the bedroom, contemplating how it’s possible to feel both elated and deflated at the same time.
“I made something for you,” she says, materializing in front of me. Her hands are clasped behind her back as she chews on the corner of her lip in a nervous tell.
“Okay.”
“I wanted you to have a special notebook for writing your songs.” She hands me a thick book with a crushed red and black velvet handmade cover. Our logo—the one Ash designed with the skull and serpent—is embedded in the front, and my name is etched on it too.
I’m speechless.
My heart is hammering inside my chest, swelling and swelling with so much emotion.
“It’s a songwriting journal.” Viv wipes her hands down the front of her leggings. “I got it in a store on Exchequer Street, and then I made the cover myself. If you don’t like it, I?—”
I jump up, grab her into my arms, and crush my lips to hers, pouring everything I’m feeling into my kiss. Viv clings to me, and my heart is pounding so loud it’s a miracle she doesn’t hear it. “I love it,” I pant when we finally break apart. “I love it so much. I can’t believe you made this for me.”
“Really?” Hope blazes in her eyes as she fists a hand in my shirt.
“Yeah, Hollywood. It’s the best present anyone’s ever given me. It’s right up there with the special edition Stratocaster I told you about.”
“Well, it’s not a limited-edition guitar but I’m glad you like it.”
I lift her up, and her legs automatically wind around my back. “I don’t have words to describe how much I love it, but perhaps I can show you,” I promise, leading her into the bedroom where I spend the rest of the night trying to convey everything it means to me.