Chapter 4
I never imagined I’d end up building a life with someone like MuJinci.
It wasn’t until the morning after our wedding night—when I opened my eyes and saw her lying beside me—that it finally felt real.
She was sleepy, curled in my arms, murmuring good morning.
My chest went soft.
I didn’t even notice how calm her eyes were when she said it.
After marriage, MuJinci was always distant.
Whenever I tried to get close, she’d push me away.
At first I didn’t understand. I asked—she wouldn’t answer, just said she was tired.
Later, ChenYi came back.
Right when I loved her the most.
She was endlessly gentle with him. Completely devoted.
She’d make him chicken soup, pack him lunches, take care of him in ways she never did for me.
I kept wondering—who was this ChenYi, really? How did he get all of her unconditional affection?
What exactly was their relationship?
I wanted to ask her straight.
She just brushed it off with “old friend.”
Then she kissed me and started talking about what she wanted for dinner.
I knew she was dodging the topic on purpose.
But in front of her, I was powerless.
She always did this—slap me, then feed me candy.
And I was pathetic enough to want more even when it hurt.
Sometimes I really envied ChenYi.
How could he get everything I never could so easily?
But slowly, I figured it out.
If I can’t have it, dragging it out just hurts me more.
Why not let go sooner?
I looked at MuJinci calmly.
Her face was stern, brows lightly knitted, voice carrying a hint of accusation:
“SuYueming, there’s a limit to jealousy. What’s with the sarcastic face and attitude right now?!”
The table went dead silent.
I gave her a faint look.
“You keep repeating the same lines. Aren’t you tired of them?”
MuJinci’s lips pressed into a thin line. She froze for a second.
“What did you say?”
She narrowed her eyes, disbelief written all over her face.
After all, I’d always been the one who took it quietly. Never complained.
This was the first time I ever talked back—ever questioned her.
“SuYueming, you never used to…”
MuJinci hadn’t even finished her sentence when I cut her off.
“You’re in such a hurry to get to ChenYi’s place, aren’t you?”
She looked like she hadn't expected that. Her face froze in shock.
I didn’t want to drag this out any longer, so I pressed on.
“Go ahead. Don’t keep him waiting.”
MuJinci clenched her teeth. Her dark eyes held emotions I couldn’t quite read.
“You’re telling me to go see ChenYi?”
I almost laughed. Wasn’t this exactly what she’d said she wanted? Now that I was agreeing, she didn’t like it?
“Didn’t you just say his foot was broken and you needed to help him?” I asked while clearing the dishes.
MuJinci looked stunned—confused, maybe angry.
“SuYueming… you’ve changed.”
She muttered the words, then turned and left without looking back.
Once she was gone, I pulled out the bottle of red wine I’d been saving for years.
A friend had given it to me. I’d planned to open it on a special night, maybe a candlelit dinner with MuJinci.
But after we got married, she was always either working or busy with ChenYi. She never had time for me.
I swirled the deep red liquid in the glass, memories creeping back in.
The day we got married, I was so excited I didn’t sleep at all.
Then ChenYi showed up, claiming he wanted to congratulate us on our wedding.
He arrived with bags of gifts, wished me a happy marriage, but his eyes kept drifting to MuJinci.
And she… she looked dazed, like her soul had been pulled straight into his gaze, every emotion pouring out of her and into him.
That kind of longing, unspoken but heavy—I’d never seen it in her eyes when she looked at me.
Even though I didn’t know their history yet, something uneasy stirred inside me.
“SuYueming, go make ChenYi some tea,” MuJinci said.
I did.
As I prepared it in the kitchen, she took him into our bedroom.
It bothered me.
What couldn’t be said in the living room?
I hurried back with the cups and paused outside the door. Voices drifted through.
“After our fight that day, I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to apologize the next morning, but then I heard you were already dating someone.”
“It’s all in the past. My parents said awful things to you too. It wasn’t just your fault.”
“How have you been lately?”
“I’m fine.”
“MuJinci, don’t lie to me.” ChenYi paused, then asked, “Do you really love him?”
MuJinci went silent.
I waited.
And waited.
No answer came.
That’s when I realized—she’d only suggested dating me, with marriage as the goal, because she’d just fought with ChenYi the day before. It had been said in anger.
I finished the wine and stepped onto the balcony for a cigarette.
Halfway through, I called MuJinci.
ChenYi answered.
“SuYueming, what’s up?”
“Where’s MuJinci?”
“She’s… in the shower. Want me to pass the phone so she can talk?”
I took a drag.
“No need. I heard your foot’s broken?”
He laughed lightly on the other end.
“Nothing that serious. Just a sprain. Guess MuJinci got worried and exaggerated.”
To me, the provocation in his voice was hard to miss.
But I couldn’t be bothered to argue.
There was no point.
I leaned against the railing, exhaling smoke.
“Alright. Have her come home tomorrow. I need to talk to her.”
I hung up and closed my eyes, feeling the evening breeze.
Tomorrow, when MuJinci comes back…
We’re getting divorced.