Chapter 12 Sevyn
ONE MONTH LATER
Deuce had the day off from work, and we had just left the grocery store when I recalled another memory. We were driving by the place where my grandmother used to live, and I cried out.
“What’s wrong?” Deuce asked, slowing the car down and glancing at me.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? Are you in pain? Is something uncomfortable for you? Are you experiencing anxiety?”
I had been struggling with anxiety attacks when it came to riding in or driving a car.
It was so bad that I wouldn’t drive, and if I wanted to go somewhere, I would either catch a shared ride or wait for Deuce to take me.
My car, which he had gone back to get later the day that I moved out of my condo, sat in his driveway untouched.
Every now and then, I would go out and sit in it, but I didn’t go anywhere. I hadn’t even found the courage to start the ignition let alone drive it.
“No. I’m not.”
“What’s wrong then, Sevyn?”
I glanced at him as I gripped his wrist. “Uhm, I feel like there are these memories that are locked away that are just out of reach. Every time one tries to pop up, it’s held back by something. One of them just worked itself loose.”
“What was it?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that threatened to come. I squeezed his wrist tighter as I held onto him, drawing energy from his presence, his peace, and the hard, yet softness of his wrist.
“The day that I was in the car accident was the same day that my grandmother passed. Ethan and I argued that day. We argued after leaving my grandmother.”
“About what?”
“I-I d-don’t know. . .” My chest squeezed tight as the memory of seeing Pandora, the night of my birthday, flashed in my mind. What did she have to do with our argument?
Deuce pulled through the traffic light. I could tell that he was concerned by his quiet, contemplative nature.
“Can you please turn around?”
“Turn around and go where?”
“That building,” I answered, turning around in my seat and pointing at the building on the right side of the street that we had just passed.
“The senior citizen complex?”
“Yes. My grandmother lived there.”
He spun around quickly, not caring that the light was not green or that a large sign stated that U-turns were prohibited. Deuce sped back through the light, swerved into the parking lot, and parked in an empty spot. He shut the ignition off and turned in his seat to face me.
“What do you want to do?”
Rather than answer him, I leaned into the back seat and grabbed my cane before I turned around and opened my door. Deuce jumped out of the car and rushed to my side before I could put my feet on the ground.
“I’ve got it.” I waved him away, and he stepped back. I had made great strides in therapy and no longer used my wheelchair, but I did still need a cane. Sometimes, when I was home alone, I would toss it aside and try to walk without assistance.
Sometimes, I failed, and sometimes, I triumphed. I hadn’t told Deuce yet, because I didn’t want to disappoint him.
It was difficult, because I seldom recognized my life anymore.
I spent days in bed, tossing, and turning not willing to get up because I was battling depression.
My bank account had rapidly dwindled as Waverleigh had paid off credit card bills, student loans, my phone bill, car note, and car insurance, but there was little income to replace that.
Thankfully, I hadn’t had other bills at the condo, because Ethan had always taken care of those.
Deuce had welcomed me into his home, and as days morphed into weeks, we found an easy cadence that worked for us. He didn’t mention me finding a place of my own, and whenever I brought it up, he shut it down just as quickly, so I stopped.
Deuce stepped aside as I climbed out of the car.
“Are we going inside?”
“No. I’m going to my grandmother’s favorite place,” I explained as he walked beside me.
I could tell that it was a struggle for him to keep his hands to himself. He wanted to reach out and grab my elbow or hand to make sure that I was steady and safe. I appreciated that from him, but I appreciated even more that he trusted me enough to do this on my own.
I walked around to the side of the building and pulled the white gate open that was typically left unlocked during the day. Deuce followed me and closed the gate behind him.
I finally allowed him to grab my fingers as I traversed over the pebbled sidewalk toward the garden area where I used to sit with my grandmother.
His fingers felt nice against mine, and my hand felt like it was right where it belonged. Deuce had not spoken on his feelings about me since that day that I confessed that I liked him. Although Deuce wasn’t big on words, I could tell that he cared about me.
I looked for his feelings to be expressed through his actions.
He showed it in the tender things that he did like bringing me my favorite blanket, soda, and snacks whenever I sat in front of the TV watching a movie marathon, or if I fell asleep on the couch, he would carry me to my bedroom and tuck me in.
I loved how he brought my favorite snacks back from the grocery store or would fix my favorite Mediterranean dish when I was feeling a bit down. He always listened to me and paid careful attention to what mattered most to me. I didn’t need him to speak his feelings, because he showed me every day.
We sat side by side on the bench and looked out at the garden of zinnias and marigolds. There were various types of flowers, including roses in all colors, but the zinnias and marigolds were my grandmother’s favorite.
“We used to sit out here for hours sometimes, reading books together, praying, singing gospel songs, and her sharing stories about my granddaddy, and my daddy when he was a little boy.
She would tell me stories about my mother.
My mother and father had met when they were both fifteen, and my grandmother said she always knew that my mother was the one for her son.
“She spoke fondly of my mother, and I was glad that she loved her as her own. I often wished that I had known my mother, but my grandmother made sure that I did. She often shared stories about my mother as much as she did my dad, and she always had pictures to pull out that somehow, I had never seen before.”
“She sounds like she was a great woman.”
“The best.”
“I’m glad that you had her after you lost your father. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose that many special people in such a short span. Although I have seen it in my line of work. Unfortunately, I have seen entire families wiped out in one day.”
Deuce reached out and linked our fingers together. Warmth spread through me as he rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand. I found myself leaning against him as we sat in silence for a while. Eventually, he wrapped his arm around me as a shiver ran through me when the sun dipped a little.
We sat there for a while longer before someone came out and called out to us. “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but this garden is only for the residents.”
I sat up, hearing the familiar voice, but it wasn’t until I saw the face of the woman that I knew who was speaking to us.
They had probably just finished dinner, which explained why the garden was empty.
She may have been walking down the hallway that led to this garden, on her way back to her office.
“Sevyn? Is that you, sweetheart?”
“Yes, ma’am, Ms. Miriam.”
“Baby doll.” She rushed over to me and kneeled in front of me. “We heard that you had a terrible accident the day that your grandmother died. I’m so sorry for your loss and all you’ve gone through.”
“Thank you.”
“We sent flowers to the hospital and to both your grandmother and husband’s funeral.”
I lowered my head for a moment, and she reached out and lifted it again by tipping my chin up.
“I cannot imagine the grief that you have had to endure. I want you to know that your grandmother was well loved. She touched so many lives and made a difference in the lives of everyone she encountered.”
“I know,” I replied softly.
“Her funeral was well attended. Everything was just as she requested, and honey, that choir showed out for her.
The residents, staff, some of the families of the other residents, her church family, and many of the youth whom she had touched through the years showed up.
When I tell you that church was packed, there was standing room only.
People literally were standing up at the rear of the church.
“Honey, every wish your grandmother had about her homegoing celebration was honored. You may not have been there to carry it out, but your best friend, Waverleigh, and this young man made sure that it was carried out to a tee.”
I looked at Deuce. “You did? But why?”
“After hearing Waverleigh speak about what your grandmother meant to you, and understanding the importance of family, I wanted to give you peace and the gift of knowing that her wishes had been honored. I just worked with Waverleigh and Ms. Miriam to ensure that happened.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, staring into his eyes. There was so much about this man that I did not know. He was more amazing than I had imagined. Not once had he told me all he had done.
“Waverleigh never mentioned it.”
“I asked her not to.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ms. Miriam apologized.
“It’s okay,” Deuce assured her with a gentle smile and nod.
“And so many people came forward to speak a word on her behalf and yours, Sevyn.”
“Mine?”
“Yes. They couldn’t stop talking about what a wonderful, respectful granddaughter you were.
How you always were with your grandmother, taking her on all her errands, accompanying her at every doctor appointment, making sure that she had all she needed in her apartment, and how you were such an advocate for senior rights. ”
“That was my job as a geriatric social worker.”
“That may be true, but honey, I know you went above and beyond for many of them. I’ve seen you at work,” she declared with a wink.
“Thank you, Ms. Miriam. That means a lot to me.”
“Anytime.” She patted my hands and stood.
“We’ll get going now,” Deuce professed.
“No need. Feel free to come back any time and visit the garden or the facility,” she stated with a warm smile before she walked off.
“Could you be any sweeter?” I asked Deuce.
“My parents just raised me to be a good person, especially to those in need. I haven’t done anything that anyone else wouldn’t do.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Well, it gave me a chance to get to know you,” he replied with a warm smile.
I noticed his arm was still wrapped around me. I leaned into him and whispered, “Thank you so much, Deuce. For everything.”
“Serving you is my pleasure, Sevyn.” He released me and stood. “I’ll let you have some time alone with your grandmother’s memories.”
I nodded as he walked away. I sat for another ten minutes before I stood and made my way slowly back to his truck where he leaned against the hood. He was on the phone with someone, and his eyes twinkled with laughter as he listened. He wrapped his call up as I drew close.
“You good?” he asked, moving to open the car door for me.
“Yeah. Thank you for doing this. It meant more than you could have imagined. I feel like my soul was cleansed and another part of me has been healed.”
He smiled and pulled me into his arms. I felt peace and joy in his arms, and I found that I didn’t want to ever leave them.
“I just want you to be happy, Sevyn. No matter what I have to sacrifice to make that happen, it is a privilege and an honor.”
His words, though meant to be strong and encouraging, broke me.
I fell apart in that parking lot right there in his arms. I sobbed a deep, soul-wrenching cry, and he just held me tight in those massive, tattooed arms of his.
Deuce kissed the top of my head and squeezed me against him. My heart melted just a little more.