Don’t You Want Me, Baby?

Chapter 15

15

The Sunrise cocktails were pretty good. The second round was even better, and the third sublime.

‘Hang on, hang on.’ He sloshed a bit of his cocktail on the photo album, tutting as he used his flannel-clad arm to wipe it away. Backs to the couch, they were sitting cross-legged on the floor going down memory lane. ‘That’s you? No way.’

‘Yes way!’ Amber laughed. ‘I’m telling you, that’s me!’

‘Geez, I thought your grandparents loved you!’

‘Hey.’ She elbowed him, reaching for her drink and looking at the perm she sported in the photo. ‘I was fourteen; I begged for that hairstyle.’

Tyler’s jaw almost hit his lap. ‘You begged to have a perm? Like that? You look like a poodle.’

‘That’s what Grandad said!’ They dissolved into loud bursts of laughter again. ‘I will have to show this to my kid if they ever ask for photos.’

‘Definitely.’ Tyler laughed. ‘Although, genetics play a factor. If you go ahead with your?— ’

‘Don’t,’ Amber shushed him. ‘We were having a good night. No real-life talk, remember?’

He tilted his head, but it wasn’t as measured as usual. Sloppy from the alcohol they’d imbibed.

‘Fair. Sorry. But it wasn’t a dig. I just meant you won’t know what you’re getting, with the spermsicle.’

She giggled. ‘Can we not call it that? And you do know what you’re getting. It’s like going to a clinic; you get a biography of the donor.’

‘A spunk CV?’ He was chuckling now, and she could feel his rumble through the floor. They were smushed up together, photos spread across their legs. After the cocktails, he’d spotted the albums and begged to have a look. With the music playing low in the background, it was pretty cosy. Amber was a little tipsy, but it was a nice buzz. ‘I’ve heard everything now. So, what did you pick?’

‘Are we really talking about this?’ she checked. ‘I didn’t think you’d want to. You hate kids.’

‘Hey,’ his hand landed on hers. ‘I never said that, and this would be your kid, if you do this. Of course I want to know.’

She shrugged. ‘Okay. Well, you don’t get specifics, but he’s healthy. Dark hair, tall, brown eyes. Educated.’

Tyler raised a brow. ‘That it?’

‘Well, it hardly gives you his credit score, but the donors are all screened genetically. It’s more about the type of person.’

‘Surprising pick,’ he mumbled. ‘Given that Bradley is blonde with blue eyes. Figured that was more your type.’

‘Yeah, well,’ she met his dark-brown eyes. ‘I guess I have a thing for tall, dark and handsome.’

She said it lightly, but the expression on his face held anything but laughter. ‘Good to know.’ He leaned in a little. Or maybe she’d done it. ‘I have a question.’

‘Okay, but if this is about Bradley?— ’

‘It’s not.’ He scowled. ‘I just want you to answer me one thing, no strings. No pressure.’

She swallowed, focusing on the little gold flecks circling the dark-brown irises of his eyes.

‘Okay. Ask.’

He drew in a shuddery breath. ‘That day, in the office, when you told me you’d thought about us.’

Shit. She felt her cheeks flush. ‘Yeah?’

‘Did you mean it?’ He looked so vulnerable, his face turning boyish. ‘When you said you’d thought about us, did you mean it?’

‘Yes,’ she rasped out. ‘I meant it. You’re pretty cute, Tyler Williams.’

His face pinked up as a slow grin spread across his nervous face. ‘You’re not so bad yourself, Cherry.’ His eyes dropped to her lips. ‘When you thought about us, was it just in a physical way?’

Jesus. Answering him would change things. They’d skirted around it. She was only just okay with staying his friend; it felt weird. Wrong. No. It didn’t feel wrong. That was the problem.

‘I don’t know what you mean.’ Playing dumb was pretty pathetic, but she was guarding her heart with everything she had here. She wasn’t even in a position to take his, but she burned to know if he was even offering it in the first place.

‘I mean,’ he growled, ‘did you think about how I could make you feel, in bed? Or more?’

‘I… I?—’

‘If you’re not sure,’ his breath was hot on her cheek. ‘I’ve obviously not been clear enough. Let me give you a clue.’

His lips touched hers, a chaste kiss, but that was all it took to send tingles throughout her body. His hand, still resting on hers, turned and claimed her touch with his. When he squeezed his fingers around her, brushing his lips against hers, she was lost in the feel of him. Fingers stroked down her cheek. He shifted, tentatively pulling her closer with his other arm, until he was holding her close to him. His lips were on an expedition, going where they had never gone before as they parted hers. She moaned, and he let out a little growl of approval in response. They’d kissed before, odd pecks on the cheek, one quick New Year’s kiss the year before she’d met Sloane. His little kisses to her forehead that seared her skin. All very PG. This was not that. It was so much the opposite of that that it needed its own time zone, let alone a different postcode. This kiss felt like nothing before it, and her racing mind doubted she’d encounter it again. His arm around her, his fingers in her hair. His tongue teased hers and she heard his low, guttural moan again. Heard it over her own.

‘Ty,’ she breathed when she managed to get enough brain capacity to move her body away from what she was enjoying far too much. His lips found hers again, as if he couldn’t bear to break the contact. He moved closer, until she pulled away a second time. ‘Ty…’

His eyes opened, widening when they saw her face. She knew her expression was all shock and swollen lips. She didn’t need a mirror to know that. ‘Er…’ He pulled back, running his hand down his jaw. ‘Shit.’

‘Yeah. Shit.’ That was amazing. I knew it would be. And now I’m utterly screwed.

‘I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry.’

Ouch. She didn’t expect that to hurt, but it did. A little barbed arrow to the heart she didn’t expect. She didn’t mean to do it either, but she could still taste him on her lips. He still had his arm around her waist.

‘No. Me either,’ she muttered, turning to rest her back on the sofa cushions. He mirrored her, and the heat from his touch lingered on her body. Made her shiver, but she wasn’t sure that was entirely down to the sudden temperature shift. Her whole fricking body was screaming the answer to his question. More. More. More. She wanted to pull him back to her, tell him she didn’t see him coming. He’d been there, but she’d never seen him. Not fully. Appreciated him. Fantasised maybe. But this? Bradley Sloane was a warty toad compared to this. A frog compared to a God-damn hunky, caring prince. His hands in her hair, his hold around her. Geez, a girl could camp in there and never want to leave. ‘Listen, Ty. You don’t have to?—’

‘I did mean to.’ He cut her off with his deep, husky proclamation. ‘I lied then. I did mean to kiss you. In fact, I didn’t want it to stop. I’ve wanted to ask you that question every day since you told me you thought about me. Fuck. Even before that.’

He didn’t turn to her. His hands were now on his legs. She could see the tension in his jawline as he stared straight ahead.

‘Look at me,’ she asked.

‘I can’t.’

‘Ty…’

‘I can’t look at you without doing that again.’

Oh. Ooohh. Something else zinged along her spine. Excitement, mixed with want and shock.

‘I can’t do that again.’

‘Right,’ she agreed. Her voice sounded odd even to her own ears. ‘No.’

‘You have a lot on. I’m leaving soon.’ A hollow laugh tore out of him. ‘God, our timing fucking sucks.’ He reached for his glass, draining the rest of it. ‘I should go.’

I don’t want you to go. Stay. Everything in her should be panicking, feeling guilty, but it wasn’t there. That kiss had answered far more questions than his, and she didn’t know how to marry up the information. She didn’t tell him that, though. She closed the album that had fallen to the floor, sticking in on the sofa cushion behind her. ‘Okay,’ she got to her feet. The alcohol was burning off in her bloodstream. Adrenaline and pure lust devouring it like a super-fuel. ‘I’ll see you out.’

It was agony waiting for him to put his shoes on. His fingers looked as though they were shaking. He was concentrating on his shoelaces as if he was safety checking a parachute. She lingered nearby, not too close. Not close enough to touch him. She didn’t know what her body would do if that happened. They got to the back door, and she watched him reach for his jacket from the coat rack on the wall.

‘Why don’t you wait ’til I get you a taxi?’

He faced her with a shake of his head. ‘It’s okay. I’ll walk to the rank. I could use the fresh air.’ He ran a hand through his hair with a deep, resigned sigh. ‘Listen. Amber, I?—’

‘It’s okay, don’t worry. It was a mistake?—’

‘Don’t say that.’ His tone was as determined as his voice was deep. ‘I don’t regret it.’

‘You don’t?’

He was already shaking his head. At some stage, they’d moved closer. Her socked foot touched against his shoes as she looked up at him.

‘No. God no. I know you want this life, this baby.’

She didn’t answer.

His index finger came to rest under her chin, tilting her face up to his. ‘That kiss wasn’t a mistake.’

‘No, but?—’

‘No?’ His voice sounded hopeful.

‘No, but?—’

‘No buts. Do you regret the kiss, Amber? Tell me the truth right now. If you do, I’ll leave and I will never mention it again.’

He’d moved closer still, and the hand she’d held on the door handle slipped off and around his waist. She felt unsteady on her own legs, and the cocktails they’d necked were not the only reason .

‘We’ve been drinking,’ she pointed out.

‘I’m not that drunk,’ he retorted. ‘You?’

Since their lips had touched, she’d felt as sober as a judge, but it was a factor. Had to be. Didn’t it?

‘Well, no.’

He was assessing her with that gaze of his again.

‘So I didn’t take advantage?’

Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears. ‘No, Tyler, you’d never do that.’

The crease in his brow fell.

‘I just don’t know what that was, Tyler. What it means. I don’t want to mess this up.’

‘Yeah?’ He wrapped his other arm around her. ‘Maybe I should do it again. Just to be certain. Help you decide.’ He huffed out a breath. ‘I think we both need a little clarity right now.’

Her fingers tightened on his waist. She could feel the muscles tense underneath.

‘Tyler.’

‘Yes or no, Amber? Tell me to leave. If you don’t feel what I just did, I’ll go and never mention it again. It never happened.’

‘It would be easier. For both of us.’

He shook his head. ‘Screw that. Life’s not easy. You taught me that. I sat on the sidelines of my own life before I met you. I never wanted things after London; I didn’t see the point. My ex, Lauren?’

Amber nodded, holding her breath.

‘She was pregnant.’

Amber stiffened, watching Tyler sort through his feelings before he spoke again. ‘It wasn’t planned. I was working all kinds of hours, building my career. I wanted to open my own place eventually. But then she was pregnant, and I was happy.’ He shook his head, brows knitted together. ‘I thought it was a good thing, you know. ’

‘What happened? To the baby?’

‘She was acting weird all through the pregnancy. I was working to get some money together. She was distant. I thought it was just hormones, you know. Stress. ’Til she told me the truth. She waited almost nine months to admit that the kid wasn’t mine. Blamed me.’ His laugh was hollow. ‘Said it was my fault, leaving her alone all the time. She got bored, had an affair with someone from work.’

‘Oh Tyler. I had no idea.’

He shrugged. ‘I stayed around ’til the baby was born. The paternity came back. The little guy wasn’t mine, so I left. I packed up my shit, quit my job, and left London the next day. Came here.’

‘I can’t believe she did that to you.’

‘I can. The two of us, we were never really good, you know? If not for the baby, we’d have ended a long time before, but I got attached. I loved the baby before I even met him. Did the whole thing, shopping for cribs. Ultrasounds. I was all in. I was going to be a dad, and then I wasn’t. He didn’t look like me, when he was born. I was there. I was still there for her, you know? The other guy split the second he found out, and I stayed. The second I saw him, I knew. It broke my fucking heart not to be his dad, after all that. Even though I didn’t love his mother, I still wanted him to be mine. I didn’t trust her after that, and she knew it.’

‘You would have stayed?’

He shook his head. ‘It wouldn’t have worked. We both knew it was over the second the test came back. She told me to leave, and I felt… relieved. It wouldn’t have been right for the kid either. He deserved better than that. So I came here, got my head down. I just wanted to cook. When I first came for this job, I wasn’t going to take it for long. I just wanted a break before I figured out my next move. It was meeting you that changed my mind. Kept me here. I see how much you mean to everyone around you. How happy you make people without even realising it. You taught me to fight for the life yo u want. I’m realising more and more that being scared of things, being damaged by the past. It does nothing but wreck your future.’

‘I’ve hardly been doing that lately.’

‘Maybe not, but you are now. I’m in fucking awe of you, Amber. Watching you these last few weeks, it gave me hope. Woke me up.’ His eyes were full of adoration. She’d never felt so seen, even by him. ‘The baby thing threw me; I know I didn’t react in the best way. But I can’t just walk away, not without a fight. This is me fighting. No more sidelines. We can talk about the rest later. I know I might get hurt, but I can’t do this any more.’ He sighed, and it sounded like it came from the very depths of him. ‘I know things are complicated, but… I can’t stay away from you. I can’t just be a friend, unless that’s all you want from me.’ He tapped his index finger against his temple. ‘You’re in my head, all the time. I want to be there for you. Be your champion. Help you with your baby, if that’s what you choose in the end of all this. Whatever you need me to be, I’ll be it.’ He swallowed. ‘Even if it crushes me to do it, I’ll gladly do it. For you, Amber.’

She wanted to take the big lummox in her arms, soothe him. He was too good, too selfless. He would do all of that, and more. She was so wrong about him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want a woman; it was that he wanted one so much. Me. I’ve been a blind fool, but now what? What if she couldn’t do it, be what he wanted? She’d already torn pieces off herself to fit Bradley. What if Tyler did that for her? He’d resent her in the end . Raising another man’s child. Living someone else’s dream. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Tyler. We’re on different paths.’

‘Fuck paths,’ he rasped. ‘I’m hurting right now. Might as well shoot my shot. Yes or no, Cherry. Do you want my lips on yours again, or am I leaving? Don’t think about the rest. Not right now.’

She was staring into his eyes. Feeling his arms around her was making her head spin. That wasn’t the cocktails, she knew. Her lips were still stinging from that kiss. It would be easier to ask him to go. In the morning, things would be back to normal. Like it never happened. Liar, her head sang back. Nothing is normal after this. Not even close. She was frozen in place, scared.

‘I guess that’s my answer.’ He pulled away, reaching for the lock. ‘Goodnight, Amber.’

He went to turn the lock, but it didn’t move. Amber’s fingers held it closed.

‘Don’t go,’ was all she said. ‘I don’t want you to go.’

‘Why?’ he asked, his voice breathy. ‘Tell me why.’

She knew what he was really asking. For permission. For a sign that she was in this with him. All the ways it couldn’t and shouldn’t work were running through her brain. He’d be leaving soon, she’d be a mum, running the Arms if she got what she wanted. If she did this, there would be consequences. Her head was screaming at her to flip the lock. Release him out into the night so she could stick to her plan. He would do it all with her, but she couldn’t hold him back. Not when he’d already stayed for her. Watched her with another man. What was he going to do? Stay in Hebblestone forever, raising a child that wasn’t his? She didn’t want to wait. Not now her mind was made up, and asking him to have a child with her was insane. She wouldn’t let him derail his life for her. She’d done it before, and she knew now that she was stupid for it. Things were changing, rapidly. This was so far from what she thought would happen, it was like looking at someone else’s life.

The trouble was, that kiss. That felt right. She needed to know. She knew if she rejected him now, she might never have the chance again. He’d basically ripped his heart out of his chest and shown it to her. Letting him go now, she might as well knock it to the floor and stamp on it. She could see it on his face. The desire and the fear roiling through him. She took a beat too long.

He growled in frustration. ‘It’s fine, Amber, I get it. I’ll go.’ When he tried to open the door again, the urgency of her panic at him leaving galvanised her to speak. She realised she couldn’t let him go. It overrode everything else in her mind, shushing it into submission as she gravitated towards the man in front of her.

‘Stay.’

‘If you want me to stay, then tell me why.’ He swallowed. ‘I need to hear you say it. Say anything.’

‘Because I want you to kiss me again.’

‘What about?—’

‘I can’t think about anything else right now. I just want you to kiss me, Tyler. Stay with me tonight.’

It was all he needed. His arms encircled her, and she was off the ground, her legs automatically lifting to lock around him. His mouth crashed down onto hers, and he kissed her like a sailor on shore leave. It was so damn hot, she could barely stand it as she let his mouth claim hers. She’d never been kissed like this before. He held her like she was precious. Like he wanted to consume her.

‘Ooh!’ The shudder of pleasure came unbidden from her throat, and he stilled.

‘Jesus, Amber. What was that noise?’ He pressed his lips to her neck, sucking her tender skin. ‘How do I make you do it again?’

She laughed, until he moved to her collarbone, and it died in her throat in favour of a breathy pant. It was his turn to chuckle then as he ran a line along it with his tongue, and she moaned again.

‘Fuck me. That’s it. Just like that. I could bottle that sound, Cherry.’

‘What are we doing?’ she asked, not really caring to hear the answer in that moment. Real life seemed a world away from his tongue and its sexy travels. ‘Why does it feel so…’

‘Want me to stop?’ he checked, denying her of his mouth. His eyes were hooded under heavy lids as his gaze flicked from hers to her lips and back again. Looking like he was holding onto everything until he got permission to unleash. Christ, he was a total beast. It was soooo hot. ‘Amber, talk to me. Tell me if you want me to stop this, but you need to be quick.’

Decision time, Amber. She was flip flopping from go to stop quicker than a faulty traffic light. The old her, from a couple of months ago, would have run from this. Her to-do list did not include this, any of it. The new her, or rather the oldest version of her, the one who had her grandmother’s fire and zest for life, and love and joy, wanted this more than she wanted to take her next breath. She didn’t want to second guess it. She just wanted to feel.

Reaching behind her, still encased in his grasp, she put the chain on the door. His eyes flicked to it, and then focused back onto hers. She put her hands round his neck, and they stayed there. Looking at each other as if it was the first time they’d set eyes on the person in front of them. In a weird way, it kinda felt that way too. New, yet so familiar. Right.

‘Didn’t think so,’ he rumbled beneath her, and claimed her mouth. She was so lost in the kiss, she didn’t even notice him carrying her up the stairs. He didn’t stop kissing her as he strode down the hallway. He didn’t stop when he steered them to the kitchen, grabbing the small pack of bottled water open on the counter. Didn’t break his lips from hers when he grabbed her butt cheeks to get a better hold. Didn’t stop teasing her with his gorgeous-ass tongue at the same time as kicking open her bedroom door. Lumberjack, she said in her head. My sexy, strong lumberjack.

He did break contact when he set her down in front of the bed, getting to work on taking off her jeans. His fingers were shaky as he undid her buttons. He pulled her zipper down, dropping kisses on each cheek. He kept looking down at her, as if he was making sure she was still there. She couldn’t stop watching him, wanting to process the moment. She was about to have sex with Tyler Williams. She said it to herself over and over in her head as he lowered, slid the denim down her legs. It felt surreal. Crazy, but not wrong. She wanted this. She needed this. Needed to see what this thing was between them. Anything else – the Arms, the future – it was all just white noise, silenced by his searing touch.

He knelt before her, lifting each leg in turn to remove her clothing.

‘Tyler,’ she breathed.

All she got back was a mischievous grin, barely getting the chance to steady herself back on her feet before his stubble rubbed along the inside of her bare thighs. ‘Yes, Cherry?’ He ran his calloused hands over the skin on the outside of her legs until he reached her lace thong. He locked eyes with her as his fingers slipped under the fabric on her hips. ‘You want me to take these off?’

‘Yes,’ she panted. ‘Please.’

His grin was triumphant. A second later, her panties were on the floor next to her jeans. She felt the urge to close her legs, but his hand held fast on her body.

‘Hang on to something,’ he rumbled, his voice rich and deep. ‘I might be a while.’ Dipping his head, he got to work between her legs. Lazily, as if he had all the time in the world, he licked from her clit all the way down her seam. ‘I knew it,’ he said, as if to himself. ‘I knew you’d be wet for me. Jesus, Amber. I can’t take it. Need more.’ He licked again, faster this time, swirling in a small circle when he reached the bundle of nerves. This time, she let the moan burst forth from her lips. The combination of his tongue and the heat of her made her jolt. He raised a hand, splaying it against her stomach. ‘Don’t move, little noise maker.’

She hadn’t planned on it. She couldn’t string a sentence together if she tried right now, let alone move. Any thought she’d ever had or ever would have lost to the orgasm he was currently building with his attentions. Already, she could feel the quiver in the pit of her stomach. Christ almighty. He was good at this. He was wasted in a damn kitchen. He kicked up his pace, moving faster, moving his hand from her stomach to her centre while holding her up with his other meaty hold on her hip. When he slipped a finger in, growling like a lion, she grabbed at his hair, fisting it between her fingers for something to hold onto. She felt a bit like a rider on a rodeo bull. If the rodeo bull was flicking her clitoris over and over with his mouth while grabbing her butt cheeks in a one palm grip. He was everywhere, all at once. Filling her, playing her body expertly and making her legs shake. ‘Ty, I’m going to… to…’

‘That’s the plan,’ he said, before delving back down and speeding up. When he did that, she was gone. Tipping over the edge in seconds and breathing like she’d run a marathon. ‘That’s it,’ he rumbled, sucking at her as she came. Hard.

As her orgasm subsided, he held her by the hips, rising to stand. The second he did, her hands came to his trousers. Freeing him, taking off his clothes as they removed the rest of anything that was between their bare skin. ‘Lie down with me,’ he asked, and she sank down onto the bed. He was hard, painfully so, and she felt him brush against her stomach as he came to settle between her legs. Even as her orgasm fell away, she was still half crazy for him. He was so measured, so calm. His eyes boring into her as if he was committing it all to memory.

‘Why do you always look at me like that?’ she asked him as his body hovered over hers.

His smile was happy, a goofy expression on his face. ‘Because I know you, Amber. Because you’re beautiful.’ He kissed her as if he couldn’t resist. ‘Because you deserve someone who watches you and knows just what they have in front of them.’ He dropped a kiss on her forehead, and her heart fluttered .

‘I didn’t see you coming,’ she told him. ‘You were just my grumpy friend.’

‘Still am.’ He grinned. ‘I’ve not changed. You just know why I was moody now.’

He moved closer, caging her in with his arms, but she could see he was holding himself up. ‘You’re all tense.’ She ran her hands over his back, feeling his taut muscles right down to the dimples at the bottom of his back. ‘And hot. It’s ridiculous. Are you made from stone?’

‘Nope. All me, Cherry. I’m trying not to crush you.’ He chuckled, and she felt his cock twitch against her stomach. His eyes widened. ‘I’m so hard right now, it’s taking a lot not to ruin this by going too fast.’

‘Let me help,’ she soothed, pushing against his shoulders. His eyes shot up in surprise, but he let her roll him onto his back. His hands were on her hips the second she settled above him, and she reached down to hold his length.

‘Amber,’ he hissed as her hands wrapped around him. ‘Oh fuck, I need you so badly.’ She rubbed his thick, impressive tip against her wetness, feeling him twitch from the contact with her core. He reached up, his hands covering her bare breasts. ‘These are perfect.’ He ran his thumbs along both nipples, making them peak all the harder from his touch. He rose up, wrapping his arms around her and taking one in his mouth. With his surge forward, he took her by surprise and the tip of his cock slid into her. What the… ohmygoodGod. He was so big, and hard, but she was so wet. So turned on, he slid in, and she lost it. ‘Tyler!’ Her body took over, and she ground her hips down on him, making him groan.

‘Fuck Amber, you’re so… tight. I didn’t mean to… not yet…’

‘Yes,’ she begged, afraid he was going to pull out. ‘Don’t stop. It’s so… good.’ She moved her hands to the side of his face, into his hair .

‘Baby, I couldn’t stop if I tried. Are you sure you’re ready?’

‘I’m ready,’ she panted.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered.

She met his eye and pushed down a little further. Her body was in the driving seat now, and it wanted to ride Tyler Williams like she’d never wanted anything more. ‘Please!’ she begged, moving from side to side with her hips, anything to feel more of this.

‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘We haven’t talk?—’

‘Please,’ she begged. ‘I’m so turned on right now. I need you to fuck me, Ty.’ Their eyes locked, and she kissed the ever-loving hell out of him. She felt the moment his resolve shuddered, and then broke. Pulling his arms tighter around her, he surged up and filled her to the hilt. Their collective groans were loud in the silence of the room, and then they were lost to the feelings.

‘You’re so tight. You feel so… amazing.’ He tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth as she rode him, feeling everything he was giving her and the punishing pace they had set together. They were wild for each other, as if everything in them from the last few years was flooding out of them into the other. All the little laughs, the way he looked after her. The way he looked at her. She could feel it all now, in him. She finally understood how much he’d been holding himself back. She felt tiny on top of him, but so safe. So in control. She was making this hulking, muscled wall of a man come apart underneath her, and she fricking loved it.

‘I can’t get enough of you,’ he mumbled, his thrusts shaky and erratic as he shuddered under her. ‘You’re so perfect,’ he went on. ‘You feel so good, riding my cock. I knew you’d feel like this, I thought of it so many times. I… I…’ His face was flushed, his scowl there but different. She could tell he was losing the battle for control. ‘Amber, I need you to come. I can’t hold off any?—’

‘I’m there,’ she moaned, spurring him on even faster. ‘Oh wow, Ty. I’m going to come so hard! ’

He bit down gently on her nipple, and it send her crashing right over the edge. Like jumping off a waterfall, she rose and fell, and just as she was starting to see stars, he thrust up. Once, twice. On the third time, he buried his face in her neck and ground out her name as he came inside her. Didn’t stop thrusting as her spasming channel squeezed out every drop of his release with the shudders still running through her. He kissed at her neck, not letting her go as they both came down.

‘That was perfect,’ he said eventually, and she felt the rumble of his words against her chest as she held him to her. ‘Shit,’ he stilled. ‘Amber. Fuck. I’m so sorry, I didn’t…’

Her heart stopped and she snapped her head back to meet his eye. He regretted it. After all this, he regretted it? Already?

‘Didn’t want?’ she forced herself to ask.

His face was stricken. ‘I didn’t mean to, I got carried away. The second I got inside you, I lost control.’

He did. He regretted it!

She felt like she’d been slapped in the face. She went to get off him, her face burning, but he stopped her.

‘Amber, no,’ he stuttered. ‘Not that, I don’t regret that!’ He kissed her again. ‘Condom,’ he pushed out. ‘I meant I didn’t put a condom on, but I’m clean and?—’

‘I haven’t slept with… anyone for weeks,’ she told him. The Bradley spectre rose up in the room, but she exorcised it from her head. She felt comfy, here in the dark, Tyler’s arms around her. ‘It’s okay,’ she told him. ‘I’m okay with it. I think we’re safe.’ She’d been tracking her cycles. She was pretty sure it wasn’t her window.

His face was cautious, but the dopey, sated version of him was coming back fast. It looked good on him. She would love to see it more.

‘Yeah?’ he checked.

‘Yeah.’ She nodded. ‘We’re okay. ’

His brows relaxed, and his grin was pure happiness.

‘Yeah,’ he breathed, their bodies still connected in every way. ‘We’re more than okay, Amber.’ He touched his forehead to hers, before lifting her into bed like she was precious cargo. Slipping under the sheets, she felt him behind her. His arms coming back to encircle her as they lay together.

‘Goodnight, Cherry,’ he said into the nook of her neck. ‘Sleep tight, baby.’