Chapter 33 #2
If I’d stuck up for her, taken her hand, and left with her, we’d both be happier now, even if I had no job.
If she’d been the spy my father said she was, the Ranger Foods account we’d been working on together would already be in Piranha’s hands.
But it wasn’t. I knew that because Marvin Black offered it to Knight Advertising.
The contracts were being drawn up right now.
Like a coward, and still wanting to please my father, I’d kept quiet to Marvin about losing my CEO position in case it compromised the acquisition.
But wasn’t that me doing the same thing Faith had done?
It was wrong. And my father didn’t deserve that account. I didn’t deserve that account.
Why hadn’t I given Faith a chance to explain? Why hadn’t I listened to her? Deep down, I’d known she wouldn’t betray me, but I let the anger and disappointment I felt toward my father take over. It had seemed like everyone was against me. But Faith never was.
Fuck me, but I was as stupid as my brother said. I winced.
My brother’s hand landed on my shoulder again, his fingers gently squeezing, then releasing. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”
I looked into his eyes, unashamed of the tears that must be obvious in mine.
“I fucked up. Big time. How is she? Did Stephanie tell you?” Letting the feelings in was a huge mistake.
It was as if a panther had clawed my heart and innards to shreds.
I looked down, expecting to see blood and guts, but there were only my blue-and-white-striped pajamas.
Yep, I’d been living in them the past few days.
My father would be mortified, but fuck him.
At this point, I was going to start doing things just to piss him off.
God knew that doing my best for him hadn’t worked.
“She didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. If you want to know, man up and go ask her yourself.”
“Yeah, right. Just go over there and say hi. She’s not going to answer the door when she knows it’s me. Besides, I don’t deserve her after what I did.” Asking her to forgive me wasn’t fair to her. She was better off without me.
“Yes, because not fighting for the woman you love is a sure way to get her back, whether you deserve her or not. Stop being a coward. Also, do you want me to grab a cake and some balloons for your pity party?”
My heart missed a beat, then raced. Love? Did I?
The moment Jack realized what I was processing, he laughed.
“Seriously. You didn’t know? It was so obvious.
The way you were with her. I’ve never seen you so sappy with any woman, not even Monica.
The way you looked at Faith, it was kind of pathetic.
” He grinned, knowing he was winding me up.
“But seriously, you guys were good together. What you had with Monica was puppy love, but what you had with Faith was real. Ally and I were happy for you. We also appreciated that the pressure would be off us to have the first grandchildren. You know what Mom’s like. ” He chuckled.
I swallowed the fear rising in my throat. “What if she won’t take me back? What if I’ve fucked it up forever.”
Jack’s mouth curled up on one side in a smirk.
He was enjoying my self-inflicted disaster way too much.
“If she feels the same, she’s probably hoping you come see her.
But just to be sure, you’d better have your duckies in a row.
You need a plan, one that she can’t ignore, one that says ‘I’m an idiot, and I fucked up, and I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help but try anyway because my life will be ruined without you. ’”
“Oh, so nothing much, then.” I gave him a hopeless look. There was no way she’d forgive me. I wouldn’t forgive me.
“Wow, when did you turn into such a giver upper?”
I shrugged.
“Remember when we were teenagers, and the only thing you wanted to do was work for Knight Advertising, and Dad said you weren’t good enough?
He set you minimum grades to get, what degree you had to have, and none of it was easy, but you did it.
You kept up your confidence, even though he spent your youth putting you down.
Even when he gave that Eric dude the entry job he promised you, and you had to intern for no pay for an extra year.
” His brow wrinkled. “Argh, the more I think about it, the more I hate Dad. What a dick.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. But look at where I am. He still calls the shots. After all that hard work, sacrifice, and putting up with his bullshit, where did I get? Fired for nothing I did wrong.” Anger toasted my insides.
I clenched my fists. My whole life, I’d been chasing after approval from a man who didn’t deserve my respect.
Maybe it was time to accept he couldn’t be the father I needed and move on.
A plan started to form, one that might just get Faith back—which was the most important thing.
I wasn’t sure about my job, but then again, I was starting to realize that I needed a clean break from my father if I wanted to hold onto any self-respect.
It was scary, but I let the idea that I wasn’t going to try to go back to Knight Advertising seep into every cell.
And surprise, surprise, I didn’t drop dead on the spot.
But in order to forge my own path, I’d need to clear my name, restore my reputation.
Jack narrowed his eyes. “Is that problem-solving going on in that peabrain of yours?”
I smiled for the first time since the day I pushed Faith out of my life—the worst day of my life. Surely the only way was up. “Yes. Want to brainstorm? I think it’s time to get my donuts in a row.” Or one Donut Girl in particular.
Jack laughed. “He’s back. Finally.”
I might be back, but it was only because if I didn’t buck up, I’d lose Faith for sure. My plan didn’t have a 100 percent chance of succeeding, but it was better than nothing, and I’d take those odds. Because if I didn’t have Faith, I had nothing.