Chapter Six
“What are you doing?” Clarissa asked.
There was no guard, and the music was loud as it filled the whole house.
“Come on, you know you want to. Get down and boogie with me.” Lorenzo was shaking his ass and clicking his fingers as his head moved from side to side, with a beat that had nothing to do with the dance music filtering through the house.
All day, they had been in the sewing room, making decorations, and he had gotten her to admit she loved going dancing. She didn’t always love the number of people on the dance floor.
Clarissa didn’t know how he was able to stay home so often.
In the past few days, it was like he didn’t go out.
The guards were still present, but whenever they entered a room, the others just disappeared and faded away.
She saw them patrolling the perimeter and couldn’t help how happy she felt around Lorenzo.
There were times she forced herself to remember the pain he caused. His insults had been real, but he was a different person around her.
The music was starting to get to her, and even though she didn’t want to dance, the beat still affected her.
What was also affecting her was the memory of the kiss.
Each time she looked at the bear she had put in her room, she thought about how good it was to have Lorenzo’s lips on hers.
She had never been kissed like that. Even on her wedding day, it had been a peck to the cheek, nothing more, and that was fine.
They barely knew each other, yet she loved his kisses, oh so much.
Clarissa wanted him to kiss her again, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to do that.
“I see those hips, baby. Come on. Let that music take you.”
Then, she just threw caution to the wind and let the music take her, as she swung her hips from side to side. She couldn’t help but wriggle her ass, and she heard him groan. “That’s right, baby, you let that music be your bitch.”
She lifted her arms in the air, swinging them from side to side, and she just let go, moving her whole body to the beat. Lorenzo was there, as they moved from room to room, dancing around each other.
He wrapped his arm around her waist, and she was pretty sure he was close to touching her ass, but she was not offended by that.
It made her happy, and he ran his hands down her body, and she touched him.
There were moments when they were close to kissing, but she would pull away before taking that next step.
She wanted to kiss him, and she wanted him to kiss her.
They were out in the hallway, laughing, when all of a sudden, she felt the tension within Lorenzo. Clarissa spun around, and at the same time wished she hadn’t, because she saw Lorenzo’s father, who didn’t look happy. They hadn’t seen their in-laws in a long time.
The music was still playing, and Clarissa tensed up and excused herself, sneaking off to the den to turn off the music. The moment she did, she heard the harsh words.
“Do you think that sight is becoming of a Capo?”
Clarissa wrapped her arms around herself.
“What do you want?” Lorenzo asked.
“I came to see my son and check that he has actually been doing his duty, but I can see you’re doing nothing more than playing the fool.”
It was like the temperature had been sucked down a million degrees below zero. Clarissa didn’t have a good relationship with her own parents. It was just as strained, if not more so.
“You do not have time for these games. You have a responsibility. It is your duty to provide an heir—a male heir—to carry on the Vitale name, and instead I catch you—”
“You do not need to be here, berating me in my house,” Lorenzo said. “How I behave and conduct myself behind these walls is none of your concern.”
Clarissa put her hands over her ears and tried to drown it out. The arguing continued.
“I suggest you get the fuck out of my house.”
“Do you think you can talk to me that way?” his father asked.
The anger was so clear. Even through the muffled sounds, she heard it. This had turned nasty.
“Yeah, I think I can, seeing as I’m where I am, not because I’m your son, but because I’ve earned it. Get the fuck out of my house, and the next time you enter my property, uninvited, I’ll have you shot on sight. Make sure you get an invitation first.”
She heard the sound of a door slamming. Clarissa lowered her hands and couldn’t believe how much she was shaking.
Seconds later, Lorenzo entered the room, and he went to her. “You don’t have to worry. He’s gone.”
“You have a duty?” she asked.
Lorenzo sighed. “You don’t have to think about that. It means nothing and it is exactly that, nothing.”
“But it’s not nothing.”
“Every man has a duty in the Colombo Mafia, Clarissa. We all have to provide heirs. The next in line for our name. It’s no different for Diego, Giovanni, and Emilio. We’ve all got to do it.”
“I’m the failure because I haven’t given you a child.”
He cupped her face. “You’re not a failure. Neither of us are, do you know what I’m doing?” he asked.
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“The shopping trip, the fair, the dance-off, hanging out with you.”
She shook her head.
“I’m dating you. I’m getting to know who you are and I’m hoping you’re getting to know me. We’re going to be married for a long time and I don’t want you hating me. I don’t want us to go through that again.”
“That?”
“The shit I said. I didn’t know what you’d been through or what was going on.
I had no idea you didn’t know what to do, that you were just doing what you were told to do, by lying there and taking it.
It doesn’t have to be like that between us.
” He put her hands against his chest. “I want you to trust me, Clarissa, and to know I am always here and I always have your back, no matter what.”
Tears filled her eyes, because he looked so genuine.
“Do you want to be a dad?” she asked.
“I do. Even though the very thought of it fucking terrifies me. Look what I’ve got for an example. He will not be winning many awards for this, trust me.”
She smiled. “Other than my grandmother, I don’t have any idea either.”
“So, what you’re saying is we’re both fucked.”
She couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “I don’t think it is quite as bad as that, but it’s pretty close.”
They both laughed.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said.
“Good.”
She felt a little bold and gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him in close, and finally, she was able to put her lips to his, and it was a kiss she had been waiting for since the fair.
****
Lorenzo couldn’t sleep.
His dad’s visit had pissed him off. He and his father never really got along. It was the usual between fathers and sons within the Colombo Mafia. There was either love, like he had seen with Liana’s brother and father. Or it was like his and his father’s relationship.
There was always disappointment. He wasn’t a good enough son. His dad wasn’t a good enough father. It was a fucked-up situation.
Rather than lay in bed and try to sleep, because it just wasn’t happening, he shoved off the blankets and made his way downstairs. He didn’t go to the kitchen, but instead went to his office, where he turned on a small lamp and poured himself a glass of scotch.
He was trying to get Clarissa to fall in love with him.
To build the trust that had never quite been there.
He didn’t want a fucked-up marriage, but one that was going to last. The thought of spending the next fifty years with Clarissa hating him, or having a marriage like similar couples he had seen, didn’t appeal to him.
His and Clarissa’s marriage was arranged. They didn’t have a way out. When Clarissa was ten, and he was twenty years old, it happened. At the time, he’d been five years older than his intended bride. Not a large age gap.
Although, he hadn’t wanted to be married. He had been.
As one of the youngest among Diego, Giovanni, and Emilio, he had built a reputation fast. They had no choice with the Colombo Mafia.
The men had to be strong and capable, otherwise, they didn’t survive.
Everyone was always after a piece of flesh.
Running a hand down his face, he tried not to think of the years his father had tried to tell him he wasn’t good enough.
He fought for everything, and seeing him in that hallway today, his disapproval pouring out of him in waves, was enough to set his teeth on edge.
“I thought I heard you up,” Clarissa said, startling him.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” Clarissa said, coming into his office. She was dressed in a pair of dark blue pajamas with white rolled trim around the outside. They were classy, and he figured she had made them. They were oversized, and it didn’t detract from how sexy she looked.
She took a seat on the chair opposite him. “You look angry.”
“Not at you. I’m just thinking about my dad.”
“He wasn’t particularly helpful today, was he?” she asked.
“You could say that, to put it mildly.”
Clarissa laughed. “Yeah, to put it mildly.” She offered him a smile. “After my sister died, all my parents could say to me was how much I didn’t measure up. I wasn’t the right daughter. I was the ugly daughter. The fat one.”
He closed his eyes. “You know, it makes me want to go and kill those fuckers.”
“They didn’t like how I was handling it. To them, it was nothing. My sister died in my arms, and still they didn’t care. It was something that happened, and now they had to deal with the consequences, as if it was this business deal.”
“Fuck them, Clarissa, and this business deal. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live by them telling us what to do.”
“Does that mean you want to get divorced?” she asked.
“Fuck, no. I don’t want to get divorced. Do you?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. I just thought I would ask, in case that was what you were hoping for.”
“No, I’m not hoping for a divorce. I like being married to you.”
“Really? I mean, I am boring and old and dull.”
He shook his head. “You know, I was a fucking idiot. I didn’t know you, and trust me, now that I’ve had a taste, sewing is not boring or dull, it’s fucking amazing. Time-consuming and a pain in the ass, but it is amazing.”
Clarissa smiled at him.
“You don’t even realize how pretty you are, do you?” he asked.
Her cheeks started to heat.
“You know, I love looking at you, and watching you. I think you’re an amazing woman. I can’t take my eyes off you. You’re incredible.”
She licked her lips.
“And you turn me on.” He ran a hand down his face.
“I wish I had shown you sex differently. I’d never been with a virgin and figured all that shit you see on the movies and read in the fucking books was fiction.
I didn’t know it was going to be fucking painful the first time. I never wanted to hurt you.”
There was silence and he stared across the small space, and she didn’t look away.
“Why don’t you teach me?” Clarissa asked.
“Teach you?”
“We didn’t exactly get off to the best start, but that doesn’t mean we can’t figure this out.
You don’t want to divorce me, and I don’t want to divorce you.
This isn’t about duty, it’s about us. We’re learning each other, and one day you’re going to need a child, and I would like to be a mother someday. ”
“You want to be a mother?”
“Yes, and even though I don’t know how, I don’t want to be in a loveless marriage. One day, I do hope I might be able to fall in love with you.”
He looked at her a little taken aback, because he wanted her to love him. No one had ever really loved him.
“Do you think you could love me?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do. Apart from some of the stuff you say to your friends, you’re okay.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Putting his glass of scotch down, he looked toward her, then told her to come to him. She looked nervous at first, but then she climbed out of the chair, walked around the coffee table, and moved closer to him.
Clarissa stood in front of him, and he reached out, touching the tips of her fingers, then suddenly he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap.
She didn’t fight him, and he wrapped his arms around her, stroking his hands down her thigh.
One of her hands went around his neck, while the other was held in the air, fingers clenched.
He let her go long enough to take her hand and place it on his chest. “You can touch me whenever you want.”
She licked her lips.
“Would you like to touch me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
And he pulled her in close and kissed her lips. He was not in a rush to make this go any faster. He was happy to take his time, explore her, and learn absolutely everything about her.
He wanted this to last. Not because of some fucking business deal, but because he happened to like Clarissa.
She was a good woman. Her grandmother had told him to give her a chance.
There was a passionate woman beneath the surface, just waiting to come out.
At first, he didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about, but now he knew and he understood.
Clarissa needed someone to be patient with her. She needed someone to have her back, and above all else, she needed someone to love her.