Chapter 17 #2
“Look, I know you’re pissed off with me, and I know you warned me about getting close to her while she’s dealing with so much, and I’m still feeling the effects of Audrey, but I didn’t do it just to piss you off.
It just…happened. I tried so hard to just be there for her, but if you saw her, you’d understand. ”
“Maybe I should open a bottle of wine.” Lois looked down at her cup of tea. “This doesn’t seem like it’s going to cut it.”
“Nope. No way. Wine always gets me into trouble. I’m not touching the stuff while I have all this shit going on in my head.
” Alba held up a hand and sipped her tea.
“By all means, you go ahead, but I need to keep my sensible head on for the foreseeable, and wine will likely make me text Ellie before the night is over.”
Lois settled a reassuring hand on Alba’s knee and smiled. “It will all be okay. You’ll figure it out.”
Yeah, like it was all okay with Audrey.
Staring out of the living room window, Ellie’s hands grew clammy as she watched Danielle climb from her car.
She’d spent all day wondering whether she should send Alba a message, she’d picked her phone up more times than she could count, but she wanted to speak to her best friend first. She needed to.
Danielle would know what to do—she was a lesbian after all.
As for Ellie, she was just a mess of intrigue and confusion at the moment, caught somewhere between curiosity and something far more overwhelming.
How did that happen? How could she be both intrigued and confused by what she was feeling for Alba Clifford?
Ellie had never been attracted to another woman in all of her life.
She couldn’t say she’d even checked out a celebrity on TV, never mind stood on the edge of something like this, her thoughts consumed by one person and feeling entirely overwhelmed.
Yet here she was, still wishing Alba had kissed her on Friday night.
That thought settled deep inside of her, refusing to be ignored, no matter how much she tried to reason with herself.
She pushed off the window frame and headed directly for the front door.
Danielle was strolling up the path in her latest expensive heels, the steady click of them against the pavement echoing, and she wouldn’t wait for any longer than she absolutely had to.
Ellie opened the door to be met with Danielle’s hand mid-air, just about to knock. “Hi. Come in.”
“Are you in a rush?” Danielle laughed as she stepped inside and slipped past Ellie. “I don’t think you’ve ever answered the door so quickly.”
Ellie drew Danielle into a hug and squeezed her, grounding herself with something familiar. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Mm. It’s been a while.”
“I know. I’m sorry. With work and stuff, it’s been a bit hectic lately.
” That wasn’t the full truth, but it was easier than unpacking everything that had been going on in her head.
They both made their way into the kitchen, two coffees sitting on Ellie’s kitchen island in anticipation of the conversation they were about to have.
Poor Danielle was going to be deeply confused, but Ellie knew that everything would be okay.
She’d already been through the worst life could ever throw at her. “How’s work?”
“Quiet at the moment. Can’t complain.” Danielle lifted herself onto a stool and brought a cup of coffee closer. “Are you still eating lunch in the staff room?”
“I am.” Ellie beamed a smile as she looked back at her best friend. “I think everyone is getting used to me being in there now. Although sometimes Susan just stares at me from across the room. I don’t know if she’s waiting for me to fall apart, but she’ll be waiting a while.”
Danielle slid a hand across the island and settled it over Ellie’s, her touch reassuring. “Can I just say that you have a sparkle in your eyes that I haven’t seen in a long time?”
“I’m doing good, Danielle. I’m doing really well.” And for once, it wasn’t something she was saying just to reassure someone else. It felt real. It was real.
Ellie had always known it would take something big to get her out of the headspace she’d been in since Eloise’s death, something to shift her, to bring her back to life in some way, but she hadn’t thought for one moment that it would be another woman. And certainly not in this capacity.
“I actually wanted to speak to you about something.” Ellie cleared her throat when Danielle stared back at her, waiting patiently for Ellie to elaborate. “How…do you know when another woman is attracted to you?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, you heard me.” Ellie quirked a brow, though there was a flicker of nerves behind it. “And I know it’s shocking; I’m still trying to get my head around it, but I think Alba almost kissed me on Friday night.”
Danielle held her coffee cup mid-air, her eyes wide. “She never!”
“Well, I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I think that’s what was happening.” Ellie replayed the moment in her mind, the closeness, and the way the air had shifted between them until it felt almost impossible to breathe.
“Okay, I’m going to need you to go through this whole ‘friendship’ with me.” Danielle sipped her coffee and lowered it down again, her interest fully piqued now. “If we’re going to get to the bottom of this, I need to know the little things she does. You know?”
Of course Danielle needed more information, her best friend had always been a nosey bitch, but Ellie wouldn’t have her any other way. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“First of all, how do you feel knowing that she was potentially going to kiss you?” Danielle narrowed her eyes and studied her. “Because that’s going to be a big factor in the way we both see her previous actions towards you.”
“Intrigued. Fascinated by her. Attracted to her.” Those words came easily, but they didn’t quite cover it.
None of those described how Ellie had felt since Friday night.
Oh, you’ve felt that way for a while now.
The shift had just been undeniable in that moment.
“And those also apply prior to Friday, by the way.”
“Well, well, well. You’ve been keeping all of this quiet, haven’t you?
” Danielle grinned as she relaxed back on her stool and folded her arms across her chest. It wasn’t that Ellie had kept it to herself, not really; it was more a case of her not knowing what was going on.
“Have you ever felt like this about another woman before?”
Ellie ran a hand through her hair as she exhaled. “Honestly, no. Never.”
“That’s okay. We don’t all know what we’re missing. Sometimes we have to wait until it’s staring us right in the face.”
Ellie had no idea what she was missing. How could she when she’d spent the last eighteen months—before Alba came along—picking up what was left of her life and putting herself back together piece by piece?
“All I know right now is that I always want to spend time with her. I always look out for her around school. She just…I don’t know how to explain it.
She makes me feel happier than I’ve been in a long time. ”
Danielle waved a hand between them, urging her on. “Expand.”